₦airaland Forum

A40:
Real classy of the Warriors to leave KD off their video tribute for the decade. Real classy

I get your sarcasm.

For a guy that won FMVP twice for 2 of their 3 championships and sacrificed his ankle in pursuit of the 4th, mhen that's petty of the franchise.

First off, thumbs down to him for beating you. Shame on him.

Now, to your questions for which you seek answers:

1. Like many people have said he may have bottled anger due some previous slight, grievance or disrespect.

2. He may be feeling he is not good enough for you as a result of the things that happened in the past or the 'October incidence' and so got triggered by you telling him to go and change. So a simple go and change can be interpreted as: I am not good enough for her and she is not accepting me as I am and is ashamed of me and so is asking me to go and change.

3. It may be your tone of voice or attitude or body language when you said what you said. Remember, your tone and attitude are usually unconscious and only the receiver(s) or observers can attest to its quality.

4. Lastly, it may not be you, it may be him. Perhaps he's carrying an old baggage or pain or hurt which got triggered by you. When broken people snap it's on them. If this is true, then he needs therapy to heal.

I once asked my girlfriend while we were about to go out, to change her top which had the inscription, 'I am an Assassin' and all hell was let loose and even afterwards she gave me the silent treatment for a full 1 month as a result, not including the ruined date.

Later found out it had nothing to do with me. She had a deep feeling of being not good enough and a deep fear of rejection, which had something to do with a traumatic childhood experience. My harmless request was the trigger the volcano needed to unleash its fire and lava.

The Warriors rained 3s on the Mavs!

The Warriors are not dead yet. I repeat, they are not dead yet. They are in the lab cloning Stephs and Klays. Damn!

A healthy Splash bothers and these boys will light up this league again.

That's a prophecy.

The amount of energy dispensed in being anti-anything is humongous but wasted and hurtful energy, energy that could have been used for more productive and impactful things.

It makes for great entertainment value, these negative emotions-laden debates, but to what gain?

The mind cannot differentiate between imagination and reality. Real stress biochemicals are being pumped into our systems, even as we think we are only having fun here.

Stress = Dis-ease. Sustained dis-ease= Disease.

We can all be pro-something good, pro Lebron, pro Kawhi, pro Warriors, pro Lakers, pro Clippers, pro Messi, pro Ronaldo, choose. But to be passionately anti these players or teams or anti anything is anti-health, anti-life, anti-happinness, a generation of toxic emotions we don't need.

Give no room for negative energy.

Keep it positive.

Love conquers all.

iamJ:
Unless you didn’t watch lakers vs bucks

Don’t allow the final result to fool you


They killed the lakers


The difference was almost 30 at one point

That game killed my spirit

I have been running away from anything nba for days

I’m better now

When we come against top teams it’s not always easy, maybe bron will do wonders come playoffs but as it stands, any honest Lakers fan shouldn’t be bragging

Why were you running now? The game gave you PTSD?

Yet, useful idiots who are currently unemployed and are struggling to eat, will be quick to defend them on NL and social media when they are called out for corruption or other misdemeanors, as if their lives depend on such inane arse licking.

Let's stop empowering and defending our oppressors.

Emancipate yourself from mental slavery.

E

SmooshCHN:
That being said, I'll respect everyone equally regardless of their beliefs, sexuality and choices but I don't want it forced down my throat. Forcing it on kids is just unfair. With the way these young guys are playing, the NBA is in good hands. Well deserved.

Me too! I actually do respect and do understand them.

However, I am a solution-wired kind of person. I just feel that we/the world is not addressing the real issue and therefore the current movement is not the solution.

SmooshCHN:
I'm supposed to learn over 44 gender pronouns so I don't offend someone and maintain a safe workspace. Lmao. The bullying is what stresses me. You could lose your livelihood over one pronoun or an opinion they find offensive. Majority of the problem is psychological as Deemain said. Preferred pronouns and all that thing they love to do can't fix it.

Gbam!

SmooshCHN:
She legit raised the kid as a girl. This case is a simple one.

Yeah, I read somewhere they saw that he had zero boyish vibe growing up and so they indulged him.

VaughnSangrey:
Gender identity is different from sexuality. Sometimes people see themselves or feel differently to their physical attributes or how people perceive them. For instance, even though i was born into the body of a male hamitic human, i identify as a chinese dragon.

I have grouped all those into sexual functions-sexuality. If your hypothalamus regulates your sexual functions as female even though you are a man, you will start seeing yourself as a woman.

The question I tried to address is what could have made the hypothalamus mis-regulate? What could have engineered this gender identity crisis? Could it be related to emotional disturbances at the level of the amygdala?

Now, this is an important question because if the latter is true, embracing your gayness or becoming a transgender will still not bring you the much needed peace. You will still be emotionally disturbed or imbalanced.

Stubborn old man

What the OP wrote is true and applies to both sexes too.

Ideally, love should conquer all, no matter what. Stay with each other, no matter what. This is the ideal. God will help us keep this ideal.

But truth is, in our world today, what the OP wrote is at the heart of many troubled marriages.

20 friends cannot play together for 20 years. We see this problem affect many friendships and bonds. If one friend is growing and the other is not, things begin to unravel and many times they find out they do not have many things in common anymore and begin to see less and less of themselves.

Same applies to marriage. He may still be there for you in the marriage but if he has to come down many notches to your level in many areas of life he is likely to tire out and mentally check out, many times unwittingly and unconsciously.

The wisdom is, as the man or woman rises, let the other couple push him or herself too to remain relevant. If not, K-leg or disenchantment might enter the marriage.

Always develop yourself to match the level of your spouse, so you can have things to talk about and you can challenge each other to greater heights.

For those using GEJ and Mama Peace example, Mama Peace is relevant to GEJ in every facet. GEJ is not a politician, she is. GEJ is not bold nor courageous nor ambitious. She is all three. She is GEJ's motivation. Motivation, they say, is like taking your bath. It's something you need every day. GEJ needs Mama Peace.

Many of the women attacking the OP will look down on their husbands and deny him respect without batting an eye lead if he is not doing well financially for too long and will treat him worse so, if they are doing much better than him or carrying a larger percentage of the family burden than they are wont to.

Always develop yourself. Take responsibility for your development. Don't wait for your husband or wife. If they encourage you great, if they don't, drive yourself! No dulling.

SmooshCHN:
That's what happens when the norm is letting your kids parent themselves. The media is doing a good job too. There's nothing Wade could have done but to support his kid. It's America, if you can't encourage it, don't do or say anything against it.
I just imagined going home to tell my parents I'm Trans. LMFAO.

I do not think they are looking at the roots of the issue though. The higher suicide rates amongst transgender people should tell us that the solution to their sexuality problem may not be in changing gender.

There may be deeper mental and psycho-sexual issues at play here resulting in the brain misfiring at or around its sexual/sexuality functions.

You see, the part of the brain that regulates sexual functions(hypothalamus) is seated too close to the emotional part of the brain(amygdala). Emotional disturbances or dysfunctions can distort sexual functions-sexuality.

Without the resolution of the deeper cause of the distortion, the person will still be lost and warped mentally, no matter how we engineer the transgendering.

What do I know? I am but a lay man o.

2nd base jare.

lavylilly:
Sir, provide link to bck up your claims.

It's a shame you plagiarized this beautiful article verbatim and still had the gall to go defensive when called out by luminouz.


Shame dey catch me on your behalf.

steady986:
People that want to be LeBron and carry the load of their team are breaking down one by one. Giannis next

Thumbs down!

You are taking this ish too seriously. Kam dan!

KarnBarlow:
Who in the world is bledstone?

He meant Bledsoe.

crackhaus:
An educated emotion is trained to de-escalate by not provoking, NOT fanning the embers of tension on the probability that the other person is more educated emotionally to ignore.

This is why provocation is recognized by law as a suitable defense, even in cases as serious murder.

crackhaus

This debate is going round in circles.

If A fails to provide leadership B should. No need for 2 mad people. It's a recipe for chaos and dysfunction.

crackhaus:
Which is a better way in your opinion to remove the madness completely?

To eliminate the verbal abuse (cause), or to eliminate the physical abuse (outcome)?

You can't change anyone, you can only change yourself. People change when they are ready to change.

So I can only speak for the person who wants to change and has taken the responsibility to change.

Variety will absorb variety. If you have may options and ways and strategies to mitigate a difficult problem/challenge you are in control and will eventually influence the outcome but if you have only one way (violence), the problem will eat you for breakfast.

crackhaus:
This guy sef

So you already know that the provocateur (using verbal abuse) and the agitated (responding with physical abuse) are both mad people in equal degree, but for some reason, only the latter must take responsibility for their madness.

I was talking about providing leadership with an educated emotion.

Read all my posts prior on this thread.

crackhaus:
Is there human thinking involved in being verbally abusive to your own wife/husband?


Lol, I like your comments because you're strutting on both sides and making a good case for each.

So going by the bold text, for a 'human' who is verbally abusive, has that person thought of the purpose, of consequences?
Let me rephrase: When a person is being verbally abusive, what exactly is the end goal and how has that end goal guided their behavior?


Let me guess, it's ONLY your job to behave right in your home and set a good example for your kids, not your wife's job.

So what example is your wife setting when she's raising her voice at you, shouting and verbally abusing you in front of these same kids?
Do you honestly believe that if you slapped her right there, your kids did not see & understand what led to it?


This is exact message I am passing to you.
A woman who knows better will not be verbally abusive in the first place because her emotional reaction to displeasure should be intelligent and well educated enough to understand there is really no positive outcome that can come from it - it's either her husband will completely ignore her and she ends up making a shouting idiót of herself, OR she will be bítch slapped in return so her shouting can turn to crying.

Like I said, no positive outcome can come from being verbally abusive, so why would it be okay. If the idea is to maintain peace, to behave right in the home, and set a good example for your kids, then there wouldn't be verbal/emotional abuse as well as physical abuse.

No self-aware person tries to mitigate problems by dealing with outcomes, problems are mitigated by dealing with causes.

Whoever said verbal abuse is okay? I already said it can kill here!!!

Responding to verbal abuse with physical violence is equally evil.

There are two mad people involved in both.

There is a better way.

That's the summary of all I wrote prior.

crackhaus:
Provocation or Loss of control (English Law) is an acceptable defense in law courts, it will get the perpetrator a lesser sentence - look it up if you didn't know that.
Even crimes of passion are judged very differently on the basis of pre-conceived versus crimes on a whim (due to provocation).


As for your animal reference, perhaps you should explain how a sane person with no animalistic tendencies ought to be verbally (emotionally) abusing another human being in the first place.
Animals in fact come in many different shades and forms - if you provoke a snake long enough, it will surely make you its personal problem, whereas you don't need to provoke a Lion before it does damage...and if the animal kingdom had a law court, who do you think will be guilty of a bigger crime, all things being equal?

Just keeping it within your animal metaphors anyway.

See the problem, when you respond to provocation with violence, there is no human thinking involved. It's purely letting the animal instinct within us shine. No marks there. A murder charge, life sentence or a lighter sentence. Or a broken home where trust is shattered.

Humans can think of purpose, of consequences, can begin with the end in mind and allow it guide their responses. We can pause and educate our animal side before we respond.

If I beat up my wife for verbally abusing me, I've given up leadership on how to behave right in my home. I haven't thought about the effect on the home, the fear and tension it can unleash in the home or the examples I want to set for my kids. There is no vision. This home is visionless.

Where there is no vision, the family perish, children suffer, love becomes comatose. That is the recipe for a dysfunctional home, sir.

If your wife knew better she would behave better. So you can teach her through example. Example is better than precept.

Emotions can be educated. Emotions can become intelligent.

bukatyne:
If you see verbal abuse as violence, then you would things in different perspective. You would also understand that running your mouth off to someone else is animalistic.

It is also easy to say 'run, flee, hit the wall, reframe the situation' bla bla. How about we teach people not to be verbally violent in the first place?

Anyways, I teach people not to run their mouth because the intent is also violence.

When I was much younger, my mouth was my weapon because I was tiny so couldn't fight and I say it is also violence.

I had to change after school when I realized that physical and verbal abuse were types of violence even if different.

You say there is a gap between stimulus and reaction?

So someone insults your mum or tells you something that hurt to your face. You would wait, think about the best action before reacting?

That's cool.

And honestly, I believe there is a difference between two or more people fighting with whatever weapon they have (all is fair in love and war abi?) and physical abuse.

If for instance, if a wife burnt dinner and the husband comes home, smells the burn and starts beating his wife, it is physical abuse.

If same wife has verbally dragged the husband for whatever reason and he gives her two slaps to shut her up, it is two fighting. One person would sha land the blows first.

We have instigators and perpetrators.

And I agree that there is a choice.

If you run your mouth, what you see is what you get.

Come to think of it, an average Nigerian would not run his/her mouth to a soldier.

Why?

"In other living creatures ignorance of self is nature; in man it's a vice." - Boethius

A mad man came to the stream and found a woman bathing, he quietly took her clothes and took off. The woman on hearing the rustle around her realized what had happened and ran after him butt naked in hot pursuit, all the way to the village square. The question is how many mad people are there here?

You can't always choose what life will throw at you or the verbal violence someone can unleash on you but you can choose how you respond.

You cannot change anyone but you can change yourself.

Exchanging physical violence for verbal abuse? I see two mad people. How many mad people do you see?

bukatyne:
Is it physical abuse if I slap someone who is insulting me repeatedly because I stepped on them?

I think not.

Telling people to return verbal for verbal is very unrealistic. Not everyone have the same prowness with words. Some people cannot talk when angry and abused and react. Some people are unfortunately not in a position to react and lock up all the emotions till they become twisted.

I will say a lot of twisted people is because they could not retaliate to their abuser (verbal/physical) the way they deemed fit. I remember a stammer in secondary school. She was big and obviously used her fits when people started insulting her to a point she cannot bear; that was her leverage. Anytime she couldn't retaliate (maybe a senior or she was held done), you need to see the way she was shaking and sometimes break down in bitter tears. She obviously couldn't engage in words and was denied the only outlet she could express herself.

The best is for people to watch their mouth and keep their hands to themselves.

If in anger you say one or two things and do not have the sense to quickly apologize, be ready to face the consequences of your actions.

Trying to regulate people's responses to verbal abuse is not realistic. That is why there are 'crimes of passion.'

I liked your earlier comment but disagree with this one.

Words are guns. Words can kill. Words can maim and destroy and warp. Agree.

But to give free pass to violence in the altar of evening the scores for verbal abuse is to play the animal. We are not animals. We have a higher thinking brain that can educate our primitive animal brain. This is what sets us apart from animals. We can pause and think before we respond.

Between stimuli and response is a gap. Humans can fill that gap with a sense of purpose, with control, with love, with a sense of the consequences. We can interpret differently.

It's why even people who commit crimes of passion go to jail.

I say no to responding to verbal abuse with physical abuse. Run, flee, hit the wall or reframe the situation - interpret it differently.

If we interpret verbal abuses differently we will respond differently. There is always a choice. It's the nature of freewill .

chic2pimp:
Absolutely Bruh...The quality of Role players you have at your disposal plays a vital part in how far you'll go as a team. However even of more importance for a Team with Title Ambitions is a quality No2 player. It eases the burden on the Superstar player tremendously. There is a reason why 2 Time Finals MVP made sure PG will sign before fully putting Pen to Paper with the Clippers.

I agree. The burden is easier as the number of stars in a team increases.

chic2pimp:
And Btw Dallas a SERIOUS threat. They've now beaten both the Lakers and the Bucks. This win shows they are a good team(even better once Porzingis is full back)even without Luka. Luka is just the Icing that can potentially make them special.

What does this say about our predilection to denigrate the contributions of other members of a team in favour of the superstar?

A tree does not make a forest. Teams win games because they are good. Being the best player in a good team counts for something but it is not the be all and end all.

We must devote some energy to praise the contributions of the other members.

That Lebron fake block of Rondo was a beauty!

Rondo is getting his groove back.

See the mistake you are making, you are seeing him as a loving man who has some beastly characteristics.

Wrong. You are focusing on the wrong attributes.

He is a beast who has some loving characteristics.

So make up your mind if you want to marry a beast or not.

May wisdom not forsake you.

livebyday:
Apology accepted, it's alright this is a sensitive issue

The killings are just too much and it has gone international

There is American zones , Brazil zone, Italy, Palermo zone, UK Zone, Australia Zone, Germany Zone and several African countries

Like another member cited this is fueled by the political class and it's sad

Young men are dying every day ... Every day ! Bright young men !!!

It's so sad indeed .. this evil needs a multi level.approach to be solved

But I am glad about one.thing .. I see so many passionate good hearted Nigerians who have been touched directly or indirectly by this menace and we all want to see this cultism epidemic ended

Cheers

I agree on the effect of the political class on the spread of this menace and the need for a multi level approach to end it. We will also need more courageous men and brave ideas and collaborations to make it happen faster.

livebyday:
[s][/s]

It is one thing to disagree with me , but it is another thing to accuse me unjustly.

Kindly do not quote me again.

Cheers

Sorry about that. Wasn't my intention. I apologize.