₦airaland Forum

crackhaus:
Provocation or Loss of control (English Law) is an acceptable defense in law courts, it will get the perpetrator a lesser sentence - look it up if you didn't know that.
Even crimes of passion are judged very differently on the basis of pre-conceived versus crimes on a whim (due to provocation).


As for your animal reference, perhaps you should explain how a sane person with no animalistic tendencies ought to be verbally (emotionally) abusing another human being in the first place.
Animals in fact come in many different shades and forms - if you provoke a snake long enough, it will surely make you its personal problem, whereas you don't need to provoke a Lion before it does damage...and if the animal kingdom had a law court, who do you think will be guilty of a bigger crime, all things being equal?

Just keeping it within your animal metaphors anyway.

See the problem, when you respond to provocation with violence, there is no human thinking involved. It's purely letting the animal instinct within us shine. No marks there. A murder charge, life sentence or a lighter sentence. Or a broken home where trust is shattered.

Humans can think of purpose, of consequences, can begin with the end in mind and allow it guide their responses. We can pause and educate our animal side before we respond.

If I beat up my wife for verbally abusing me, I've given up leadership on how to behave right in my home. I haven't thought about the effect on the home, the fear and tension it can unleash in the home or the examples I want to set for my kids. There is no vision. This home is visionless.

Where there is no vision, the family perish, children suffer, love becomes comatose. That is the recipe for a dysfunctional home, sir.

If your wife knew better she would behave better. So you can teach her through example. Example is better than precept.

Emotions can be educated. Emotions can become intelligent.

bukatyne:
If you see verbal abuse as violence, then you would things in different perspective. You would also understand that running your mouth off to someone else is animalistic.

It is also easy to say 'run, flee, hit the wall, reframe the situation' bla bla. How about we teach people not to be verbally violent in the first place?

Anyways, I teach people not to run their mouth because the intent is also violence.

When I was much younger, my mouth was my weapon because I was tiny so couldn't fight and I say it is also violence.

I had to change after school when I realized that physical and verbal abuse were types of violence even if different.

You say there is a gap between stimulus and reaction?

So someone insults your mum or tells you something that hurt to your face. You would wait, think about the best action before reacting?

That's cool.

And honestly, I believe there is a difference between two or more people fighting with whatever weapon they have (all is fair in love and war abi?) and physical abuse.

If for instance, if a wife burnt dinner and the husband comes home, smells the burn and starts beating his wife, it is physical abuse.

If same wife has verbally dragged the husband for whatever reason and he gives her two slaps to shut her up, it is two fighting. One person would sha land the blows first.

We have instigators and perpetrators.

And I agree that there is a choice.

If you run your mouth, what you see is what you get.

Come to think of it, an average Nigerian would not run his/her mouth to a soldier.

Why?

"In other living creatures ignorance of self is nature; in man it's a vice." - Boethius

A mad man came to the stream and found a woman bathing, he quietly took her clothes and took off. The woman on hearing the rustle around her realized what had happened and ran after him butt naked in hot pursuit, all the way to the village square. The question is how many mad people are there here?

You can't always choose what life will throw at you or the verbal violence someone can unleash on you but you can choose how you respond.

You cannot change anyone but you can change yourself.

Exchanging physical violence for verbal abuse? I see two mad people. How many mad people do you see?

bukatyne:
Is it physical abuse if I slap someone who is insulting me repeatedly because I stepped on them?

I think not.

Telling people to return verbal for verbal is very unrealistic. Not everyone have the same prowness with words. Some people cannot talk when angry and abused and react. Some people are unfortunately not in a position to react and lock up all the emotions till they become twisted.

I will say a lot of twisted people is because they could not retaliate to their abuser (verbal/physical) the way they deemed fit. I remember a stammer in secondary school. She was big and obviously used her fits when people started insulting her to a point she cannot bear; that was her leverage. Anytime she couldn't retaliate (maybe a senior or she was held done), you need to see the way she was shaking and sometimes break down in bitter tears. She obviously couldn't engage in words and was denied the only outlet she could express herself.

The best is for people to watch their mouth and keep their hands to themselves.

If in anger you say one or two things and do not have the sense to quickly apologize, be ready to face the consequences of your actions.

Trying to regulate people's responses to verbal abuse is not realistic. That is why there are 'crimes of passion.'

I liked your earlier comment but disagree with this one.

Words are guns. Words can kill. Words can maim and destroy and warp. Agree.

But to give free pass to violence in the altar of evening the scores for verbal abuse is to play the animal. We are not animals. We have a higher thinking brain that can educate our primitive animal brain. This is what sets us apart from animals. We can pause and think before we respond.

Between stimuli and response is a gap. Humans can fill that gap with a sense of purpose, with control, with love, with a sense of the consequences. We can interpret differently.

It's why even people who commit crimes of passion go to jail.

I say no to responding to verbal abuse with physical abuse. Run, flee, hit the wall or reframe the situation - interpret it differently.

If we interpret verbal abuses differently we will respond differently. There is always a choice. It's the nature of freewill .

chic2pimp:
Absolutely Bruh...The quality of Role players you have at your disposal plays a vital part in how far you'll go as a team. However even of more importance for a Team with Title Ambitions is a quality No2 player. It eases the burden on the Superstar player tremendously. There is a reason why 2 Time Finals MVP made sure PG will sign before fully putting Pen to Paper with the Clippers.

I agree. The burden is easier as the number of stars in a team increases.

chic2pimp:
And Btw Dallas a SERIOUS threat. They've now beaten both the Lakers and the Bucks. This win shows they are a good team(even better once Porzingis is full back)even without Luka. Luka is just the Icing that can potentially make them special.

What does this say about our predilection to denigrate the contributions of other members of a team in favour of the superstar?

A tree does not make a forest. Teams win games because they are good. Being the best player in a good team counts for something but it is not the be all and end all.

We must devote some energy to praise the contributions of the other members.

That Lebron fake block of Rondo was a beauty!

Rondo is getting his groove back.

See the mistake you are making, you are seeing him as a loving man who has some beastly characteristics.

Wrong. You are focusing on the wrong attributes.

He is a beast who has some loving characteristics.

So make up your mind if you want to marry a beast or not.

May wisdom not forsake you.

livebyday:
Apology accepted, it's alright this is a sensitive issue

The killings are just too much and it has gone international

There is American zones , Brazil zone, Italy, Palermo zone, UK Zone, Australia Zone, Germany Zone and several African countries

Like another member cited this is fueled by the political class and it's sad

Young men are dying every day ... Every day ! Bright young men !!!

It's so sad indeed .. this evil needs a multi level.approach to be solved

But I am glad about one.thing .. I see so many passionate good hearted Nigerians who have been touched directly or indirectly by this menace and we all want to see this cultism epidemic ended

Cheers

I agree on the effect of the political class on the spread of this menace and the need for a multi level approach to end it. We will also need more courageous men and brave ideas and collaborations to make it happen faster.

livebyday:
[s][/s]

It is one thing to disagree with me , but it is another thing to accuse me unjustly.

Kindly do not quote me again.

Cheers

Sorry about that. Wasn't my intention. I apologize.

livebyday:
Are you done.with your rant ?

Where are your stats on how many people this thread is changing their lives ?

Show us? It's easy to talk when there is no data isn't it?

In that context do you know how many people this information exposed here has killed ?

It's easy to use multiple accounts to try to defend the error

Fact remains this is not how to change lives or stop cultism

PS: typing in bold doesn't make your comment more agreeable
Cheers

It's obvious to even the blind that your main objective here is to protect your cult group and threaten the OP. The points you are raising like him threatening people here gives you out. Cultists were actually sending him DMs threatening to kill him and you expected him to cuddle them?

We know, and we have proofs, this thread is changing lives and we don't need you to agree or not.

I only wish there were more good men and women as courageous as the OP in this evil-infested country to change our trajectory.

Saviours are scarce in this country. We need more saviours sir. Please, if indeed you have renounced cultism and you have the leverage you claim you have, join the OP to disrupt and implode this menace.

Many are dying and our kids have no future. Don't be part of the problem, I beg you.

Nwodo, speak for yourself. For the looting of our commonwealth in Abia and the laying of the foundation for the serial pillaging of the resources of that state, for the sorry state of that state, I say it is deserved.

Dark skinned
Brown skinned
Blacks

Seriously, we need to have a conversation on this bleaching and 'toning' epidemic.

I like me some melanin and I find the variety of blackness and brownness that nature has given us very beautiful.

Where did we get it all wrong? How did it get into the Nigerian woman's deep psyche that dark is bad and white is everything? This rabid pursuit of whiteness, where did it come from?

I look all around me and I am alarmed and disgusted by the extent of this problem.

Is it a trend? Self-hate? A self esteem issue? A societal construct? Have we inadvertently looked down on our darker folks as a people and praised our lighter skinned kins?

Where did we get it wrong?

What is wrong with the black man?


P.S: For the men who bleach, I have no words for them.

saynotocultism:
I really do not like replying comments but i just want to ask you... what have you done to eradicate cultism in your present day society? you dont have to be actively against it to lend your hands against it. Are you a member of the SEC or Maphite? I can see your rage and anger quoting my report. I was doing my job. Whoever might have started the killing is non of my business here but for the killings to stop.

Have you ever heard of kabaka ? do you know why this whole killings became hot suddenly in the epicenter of the whole election campaign and strategies? Please take your stone age description off my mentions and say no to cultism. If you are a member of black axxe, it wont be long before eiye catch you and butcher you.. if you are a member of eiye , it wont be long before ayees and vikings catch you and butcher and the circle continues. Please dont hide behind your computer , try to work with us so we can all end this madness once and for all.

Please i take God beg you, i have a lot of work to do.. I was called into this thinking i was gonna face those rascals who call themselves cultist with their locally made guns but thinking i am gonna face them with one of the best home defense shotguns in the world baffles me but i will do my job in the midst of thorns. Now i still have to fight political Godfathers in Edo state as some of them pretend not to understand what we are saying and pretend to be against evil but tend to make calls behind our back.

May God protect and keep you, bro.

kingxsamz:
Pause and think what?

OP said they should do 7days fasting.

I already critiqued his write up by accepting it's overly simplistic and superstitious. '7 days fasting' is overly simplistic and religious.

My post stated where I agreed with him.

Baroba:
Zanza made his name at Canada 87, he was equally part of the 89 squad as forward.. I believe Saudi 89 was an under 21 youth tournament...Nigeria lost the final to USSR (now Russia) in 87, but he won the golden ball as the best player of the tournament..A skilled performer who was tipped for greater things by non other than the great Pele, unfortunately he didn't quite make it in Belgium.. He was quite young and faced serious competition amongst technically gifted ballers at Anderlecht ( one of the too European clubs back in those days)..

May his soul RIP..

Bro, he wasn't quite young at all. He was by far older than those under 17 boys in '87. Let's leave it at that so we can honour him. He was a good player nonetheless who could not live up to the weight of expectation on him.

May his soul rest in peace

Spectrum22:
Did he not play along side Christopher Oghenghen, Dimeji Lawal, Mutiu Adepoju, Emeka Amadi and Angus Ikeji in Saudi 89?

Someone should please enlighten me.

He did

Atalachi:
WE USED TO CALL YOU ZANZA THOSE DAYS IN ABA BECAUSE OF YOUR CAT MOVEMENT WITH THE BALL. ZANZA MAY YOU GENTLE SOUL REST IN PEACE.

Zanza is the captain, onye isi game!

RIP Philip Osondu

While OP might sound overly simplistic and superstitious, he is not totally out of order. Remember:

E= Mc²

Everything is energy.

If you agree with the above, then you should agree with this:

Everything is spirit.

Every behaviour or ability or capability or lack thereof has a spirit behind it, good or bad.

Bad energy, bad spirit. Good energy, good spirit. Seductive energy, seductive spirit.

Before you criticize this or the OP, pause and think.

The only thing you can deduce from the many piercings on a lady is that she is a nonconformist and is non-traditional, which should lead you to dig deeper into getting more information about her character, morality and lifestyle.

Find out how specifically she is a nonconformist and in what areas. It may not be in the area of giving and receiving sex.

You just can't tell if she is an olosho or not. Go out to brothels and find out for yourself the number with piercings and the number without them. Human beings are complex and cannot be compartmentalized easily like that.

Cc pocohantas, the pierced one, let me know what you think about this post

First off, the consequences and ramifications of this your sexchatting and video thing you are doing are so huge and dire your mind cannot fathom the pain and trauma you are now playing with.

One, your husband can find out. Two, dude can blackmail you tomorrow. The downside is so deep you may never recover from it, ever.

I acknowledge your emotional and sexual needs and the pain you've been through as legitimate. Women have needs that money cannot meet. We men need to learn this fact.

Now to solutions.

I encourage you to talk to your husband about this. Be very very flexible while communicating with him. Take 100% responsibility for getting the right response from him. Make it a project. Take all responses from him as feedback not failures or rejection. Keeping trying many things communication wise till you get what you want.

Remind him of the good days and what you guys used to be like and how it felt. Project into the future, tell him of what the future can be and all the plans you guys had and how you will feature in that future. Make that future compelling. Make it beautiful.

Don't attack, don't dwell on the problem. Dwell on solutions and on the good memories and the great futures.

Best wishes

silentEXPLOSION:
I agree.
but it was a boring 12 rounds for us the viewers.

Go and sit down mai fren! It was only boring because Ruiz could not land anything. Ruiz did not come to the party, thanks to AJ's superior style. It's why he's apologizing. He let his fans down.

Boxing as an art is not about being a beast or taking a beating, though it may involve that. It's about skill, IQ and sense. It's a science and an art.

VaughnSangrey:
I didn't say it was close. If he can't stand in the middle with Ruiz who will he stand in the middle with?

Like I said, he boxed well and got his belt back. But the question here is how that fighting style will help him against the big 2?

As if you didn't see him stand in the middle with Klitschko and match him pound for pound.

AJ is no Larry Holmes or Lennox or Tyson. He isn't perfect but AJ is not the sissy you are painting him to be. Dude got mind and guts.

My only concern with him is that he needs external motivation to prime himself up to really fight. He can be demotivated and that's dangerous for a fighter. It cost him that fight with Ruiz. He had nothing to gain from fighting Ruiz and everything to lose. Came in ill prepared for the Mexican. He confessed as much in an interview after the Ruiz loss.

I hope that loss had engrained a deep lesson and motivation into him.

KNIGHTBlaed:
Ruiz is no fluke. If AJ didn't come with a gameplan, he would have gone down again

True that.

VaughnSangrey:
Wilder doesn't need skills. He has mjolnir.

And I see the weakness in that.You should too except your eyes, nose and mouth are so stuck up his arse.

VaughnSangrey:
Dude, I can channel all the anger I want, doesn't mean I can beat bud Crawford or Errol Spence. Doesn't mean I can beat kyrie Irving one on one. The mental aspect can only get you so far, if you don't have the skills to back it up it doesn't count for sh-t.

The disrespect! AJ haff suffered!

And Wilder has all the skills?

VaughnSangrey:
40 year old ortiz is still the 2nd best boxer in the division, plus hes a cuban south paw. 40 year old Ortiz will still outbox AJ for most rounds. Fury too outboxed wilder how did that work out for him? Pretty much anyone can outbox wilder for most rounds. But no ones chin is good enough to survive wilder, no one has ever stepped into a ring with him without getting dropped let alone mr chinny chinchin. The fact is AJ will get hit and when he does its night night.

An out of 'retirement' Fury did that to him, what would a fit Fury have done to him? He wouldn't have come close to him the entire match .

Wilder is very lethal, don't get me wrong. But I see opportunities for a Joshua win too. That's my point.

Joshua earned back my respect with this win.

It's a good thing Ruiz beat him. That loss will stand him in good stead in the coming storms.

VaughnSangrey:
Well obviously but how exactly does he strategize for it? Many have tried and they've all failed. There simply isnt an answer for a man who just needs to touch you to finish you. The only person who came close only survived because of a slow count. Like Wilder says His opponents have to be perfect for 12 rounds, he has to be perfect for two seconds. What about the man you just saw makes you think he can be perfect for 12 against someone like that? Breazeale fought with focus and anger, he was demolished in the first. Anger is the last thing you should have fighting against Wilder.

Not anger against Wilder. I meant he channelled the anger about being disrespected by people for that loss into this fight. All emotions have their good uses if they are channeled appropriately.

It's like Kobe channeling his anger at being disrespected into mamba. The end product is different from the initial negative emotion.

VaughnSangrey:
And people really underestimate wilder as a boxer. He has one of the highest jab accuracy rates amongst all boxers across all divisions, second only to GGG. This myth about him being a mad man comes from his flurries when he has an opponent hurt, he bides his time and when he gets you you're done. Look at the one two against Breazeale, you wont find a more textbook one two than that. Or the right hook against King Kong which was perfectly setup with a few left jabs and then that lightning fast right.

Against some good boxers he struggles awkwardly until he lands that right, sometimes very late into the fight. That tells me there is a window that can be exploited in his weakness.

VaughnSangrey:
LOL. Dude, Fury couldn't avoid wilders right, Ortiz couldn't, but you think AJ can? How exactly?


Fury is not someone to be feared hes to be respected, he will funk up the place, make the fight boring as hell and run away with the belts. But AJ may have a punchers chance against him. But anyone who gets into a slugfest with Wilder should know it will end one way.

No need for a slugfest against Wilder. Wilder is awkward and is looking for only one right hand. That's a plus but also a big minus. If AJ gets back his confidence and keeps this focus and anger, he can milk that awkwardness and avoid that right. To me, he stands a good chance against Wilder if he strategizes for that right hand.

VaughnSangrey:
People are saying different plans for different fights.

Here are the facts, AJ is 6'6, Wilder is 6'7, Fury is 6'9. Fighting at a distance is out of the question.

Is he good enough of a boxer to outbox fury or avoid Wilder for 12 rounds? Nope

Is he good enough or does he possess enough power to catch or drop Fury in 12 rounds? Nope

Can he try to take out Wilder without being exposed to mjolnir? Nope

Theres just nothing within his arsenal that suggests he can hang with the big boys.

That being said, kudos to him, he had an effective game plan and he stuck to it. Got his belts back. But like i said, him and Eddie should continue blaming politics and avoid that wilder fight at all costs.

Calm down man. Give the champion some respect. Many of you didn't give him a chance today. Dude silenced his billion mouthful critics, who have begun shifting goalposts after this win.

I like the focus and anger on his face today. He will outbox Wilder for sure and with this kind of focus he may avoid the big right hand and Wilder might be history too.

The person I fear more is Fury on his good day.

AJ did what he needed to do against a smaller man. Make your reach and size count. Jab and jab when he is on the outside. Hold him and hold him on the inside.

The rest of the fight, float like a butterfly, sting like bee.

Muhammad Ali
Larry Holmes
Lennox Lewis

They sent their regards AJ. They are proud of you tonight.