₦airaland Forum

You sound like you had an amazing family, God bless them. However, the part i tried to bolden is the part of your write up that has a problem.
You see, this doesn't happen in a lot of families. In truth, Fathers and young men were raised to believe that being tough, stern and uninvolved was the best way to be a parent. African Fathers are generally uninvolved in their children's lives and that phase of bonding usually passes rather quickly.

My dad never changed my diapers, bathed me, spoon fed me or sat up with me when i was sick. Yet i adored him growing up. He never ever flogged me and he always bought me what i needed. When i became an adult though, i found out that because my mother had done the raising, i shared a lot of her personal values, i didn't even know what values he had as a person.

I couldn't say for certain where he went or what he did with his time and we got into several disagreements as i got older because he didn't know me and i barely knew him. I didn't get why men would drink, womanise or smoke and i was outspoken in my disdain for those things. He didn't understand why a girl would talk so loud and could be so bold. He didn't get why i wouldn't go to Mosque or why i didn't encourage my siblings to do same, when in truth, we had all been christians since forever! But he didn't notice.

He didn't know our favourite foods, songs or why we were in certain moods meanwhile, you come back from a long journey and your mom has your special food prepared. She tells everyone else that's my child's food oh, don't touch it. She knows when you're menstruating and how its doing you. Who your friends are and where they live.

I haven't seen my mom in 3 months and she calls me everyday, rain or sun. My dad can go a year without talking to us. Because of his other relationships, i doubt his love for me and my place in his life. To me, he comes first.

With my mum, that can never happen. She has five children, and despite our differences, none of us have ever had any moment of doubt for where we stand in her life. Even today, she would starve to see us fed. I had an accident less than a year ago and my mum was called from the scene, she started crying, the person calling had to tell her to calm down that i was fine. When my brother called my dad later, he was quite nonchallant.

That's the story of way too many fathers. Even in relationships, you love people because they love you and are loyal to you. And that's the story of mothers.

And why when money comes to children, their mothers are the ones they remember first. Trust me, no matter the financial input a person makes in your life, you will always remember the emotional input that was made in your life.

Well framed. Your post blessed me. Many thanks piroux.

pocohantas:
I don't know why I have a feeling you are one very humble guy, the type who isn't very adventurous, missionary style kinda guy...

Don't even force her. Difficult to do, but that is the best thing for your long term sanity. If not, she will keep making it obvious by her words that she never wanted you.

Recently a NLder was here to report himself after telling his wife she wasn't his first choice. That might be you in few years time, only that you will be at the receiving end.

You see all these girls that their eyes are up? Once they start wearing some kind clothe and experiencing city-girls life, marriage no dey their mind o. Let alone marriage to some homely dude. She will convince herself there is still time and there is better out there.

She might only remember you (or your type) when she is retiring. Pele

I'm loving this you without all that feminist rage and wranglings. Keep it up. It's a breath of fresh air.

Matip is making so many mistakes in this game.

Will Liverpool survive this onslaught?

Smartchoiice:
Stop am na Adekante

All zjoin

Phenomenal Kantechukwu!

What a goal!

crazygod:
I hope it won't get into his head cos this VVD of last season was far sharper than what we seeing

Guy forget story, VVD is a once in a lifetime defender. Dude is a beast.

Roland17:
Who else is watching the WNBA playoffs? Elena Delle Donne is a beast for the Washington Mystics. She is such a matchup nightmare because of her ability to dribble, pass and play under the rim.

Elena is the undisputed MVP this season. But I'm rooting for Candace Parker and the Ogwumike sisters of the Los Angeles Sparks.

omenka:
Compare Ezeks tweet with that of Banky. This woman though. I'm beginning to see some sense in the things people around here say about her.

We want the best from government but at the same time hate to see the best IN government.

How does one reconcile that? Wouldn't she gladly accept same if given? If sacrifices were good, why didnt she sacrifice a chance to travel to SA for a summit in protest against what they've done to our brothers and sisters in that country?

Smh

First, she was not paid to attend. Second, she went as as an activist citizen concerned about what is happening in Africa. Third, she was a lone voice inside SA helping secure Nigerians by pressuring their government and helping Nigerians.

She was and has been true to her activism, popular or unpopular, in or out of government.

My unpopular view.

People tell you who they are, believe them - Maya Angelou.

See mouth!

This OP is a baby in a grown man's body. Unless there is a deep identity change in him, that lady will be hurt again and again if she opens up herself again to this child.

Spain 95 -88 Australia, final scores.

Game got into 2nd Overtime.

Spain - Australia go into Overtime. Anybody's game at this point.

CJ McCollum on why many other All-Star players opted out, "Why would I want to go potentially be the face of what could be a losing roster?"

The sorry case of Kemba Walker.

somehow:
So they had a bad day again by losing to Serbia?
Spain and Argentina beat this particular Serbian team handsdown.

2 losses in a roll.

This team failed big time, no excuses.

A40:
All the teams that overpaid for these middling players must be scratching their heads by now

I hope for their sake it was the case of the team having a very bad day. I know this kind of failure has a way of dogging a player. Surely, Kemba Walker and Donovan Mitchell now have something to prove.

Wow, didn't see this defeat of the US coming. Defense alone can't win you championships. France had more offensive weapons in the 4th.

Donovan Mitchell, Kemba Walker, Middleton, Barnes, Brown were not clutch in the final minutes when they needed it.

The pressure got to them all.

Gobert and Ntilikina of France, now that's clutch.

Starboytwo:
Ok, heres my story...

I was in 300 level, when my dad died in 2016, yeah i was there when he died, I mean literally, I was the last person he saw before he went beyond... I still remember how the nurses urshered me out, then I went by the window, I saw him took his last breath, I saw the nurse covering his face... I already knew before my brother's who were outside...

I didn't cry, when my eldest bro burst into tears, I just looked away, but I didn't cry... Why cry I didn't know the man... Apart from a few holidays, some visits, a long boring, very awkward (now most cherished) road trip, where we left Lagos in his car to our Homeland, azin our village "gan gan".... This old man took me home... Damn... I still didn't grab I needed my certificate of origin, cuz I just got admission...

You know the drill, polygamous family, 4 wives, 11 children... We the last, last wife, me and my little brother... Blah blah, she left, took us along, was five, bro was 3... Didn't see my old man again... Till he appeared when I was in pry 5... Coupla holidays, blah blah, my little bro decided to stay and live with him... So 50/50... All his children had some piece of him, except me... mummy's boy, all through... So I grew up on mummy stories, few times I spent with him were always awkward at best... Mummy's side was home, all the people I knew and loved ...

Looking back now, I think he tried to know me, he asked many questions, he bought me soccer boots, met my coach blah blah, drove me to my school, on my first day as a jss1 students( they still rep me till date, my old classmates)...

He was old, sick, yet still drove me home, I thought it'd be a day but we we're on day4 when I got real sick, I already told my mom and she made him bring me back....

all those quality times I could have spent with him, enjoy my father, his company, his last days Let's just say I was not a very good company.....


Something happened last week in my family and after 3 years since he gone, I cried uncontrollable in the bathroom, I cried so much my eyes were swollen,my girlfriend asked what's wrong with my eyes, they we're red with sorrow, I finally understood everything, it all came together, all the pieces,finally I know and understood the kind of man my father was, I finally understood the sacrifices he made, how hard his choices were... He was a good man, and for the first time in my life on Monday, I missed my dad...

For a minute I hated my mother for denying me the opportunity to know this man, my very own father... My beloved father... Damn...

I want to apologise dad, for being so stupid all this while, for not figuring things out soon enough, for frustrating you when you tried to connect, I'm sorry PAPA.... I will never Forget the look in your eye, the first day I came at the hospital, it's the most purest form of happiness I have ever seen, he held on to me and would not let go, he recognizes me after so many years and spoke so many things with his eyes, that now I fully understood....


Damn, i miss you Pop.... I miss you so much... I wish I could have that road trip again... Damn

Rest in piece sir....

Damn, your story shook me and triggered a tear!

This guy Adewale and the wife just brought fresh meaning to the word 'disruptive'.

The irony is that the guy is rich. No bi poor man o. Dude has a successful startup.

Ghendouzi- Aubameyang lethal combo. It's a goal!!!!

This is a beautiful match, objectively speaking.

I'm wondering how you are doing with your breaking the alcoholism habit. Are you making progress?

Because if you are not you might need some help. PM me if you do nèed help. I can help you. I do therapy part time. And yes, you can remain anonymous.

dfrost:
Thanks mate. Good morning to you.

You are welcome. Good morning. Have a great day.

dfrost:
DeeMain, you know sometimes, these things (like RyanD147 moniker) happen subconsciously. We need to keep reminding ourselves of it every sec.

RyanD147:
U took d words off my mouth.

Thanks bro....

I understand guys. Making such deep identity changes is not that easy. It's a journey. It will take commitment and a realization that you are a spirit with a soul, living in a body and therefore not your past nor your mistakes, nor your failures, past, present and future.

There will be a lot of unlearning of subconscious habits and a relearning and learning involved.

So it's okay to make mistakes while you change and become a better man.

Best wishes guys.

RyanD147:
I don’t understand. Plz explain better.

What I meant was if you are sure you've left cultism and you are no more in the game and want to be a good role model to the younger ones then change your NL moniker. Your NL moniker is cult related, init?

RyanD147:
If you play movement 2 the core, then get a 2nd chance by God 2 live life and still no wan get sense, then your orientation is faulty.

I’ve been able 2 reconcile the fact I wasted my youthful age but grateful to God 4 a 2nd chance.

CULTISM IS A BIG NO.

Your moniker belies your confession. You are still in the game.

makewetalk2:
Leave Diezani alone. Put your focus on the current embezzlers and thieves. Buhari said Abacha did not loot. Yet he is going to claim the loot of Abacha. Isn't that a fullish mad man?
People are raping our coffers right now, you are focusing your zooms on Diezani who is far away from home and holds no position of power.
When we go get sense?
We only know how to beat dead horses. If Obasanjo is jailed tomorrow, you will hear so many stories about him. Where are the assets of the current leaders? Those are people that we should hold accountable because they are. Leave Diezani story for corner. Money day move for your eye dem day dangle Diezani story for your eyes.
Okay, if in 5 years as the minister of petroleum, Diezani made such billions of dollars, Buhari has been there for the same number of years now. so, where are the billions made in your time, Mr. minister of petroleum/Buhari? If Diezani could steal 20 Billion dollars and the country still remained stable or became the biggest economy in Africa, how much more could Buhari have done as the sick minister of Petroleum in 5 years?

The country is sunk in an abyss. Diezani did a better job than this sick skeleton. Where are the dollars that Buhari has made within these 5 years? Your wife is busy stoning satan in Mecca. When the job could have been done without taking a flight.

to construct the only 7-star hotel or the tallest man-made building cost 1.5 Billion dollars. So, it impossible for Buhari to commission a project like that in Nigeria with the revenues from petroleum? What has Buhari done with the dollars from the same seat that he claims Diezani stole 20 billion dollars without shaking the economy in the same number of years as Ministers of petroleum?

Shame on you bro. It's disgusting to defend criminality in any guise, shape or tribe.

What will objectivity say?

Objectivity: While we prosecute her and recover all our ill-gotten wealth from her and her ilk let us also zoom our focus on the grand larceny currently going on in this Buhari administration.

dfrost:
I guess the bully is dead now and the bullied is alive, init?

It's in the house of the coward that you stand and point at the ruins of what used to be the house of a brave man
- Igbo proverb


It's in the house of the ju man that you stand and point at the ruins of what used to be the house of a hard man
- proverb remixed for this thread.

OGHENAOGIE:
til the day u die don't post rubbish statement here nonsense...if the players siasia took to Olympics are not good enough he won't win silver and bronze in two Olympics he went for nonsense

Sir, you can take overaged players and win anything. We as a country have been cheating in all age group competitions for donkey years. As far as I'm concerned it means nada. Smh

It may not have been diagnosed yet but that your kid has a kind of learning development challenge is screaming at me.

Memory, focus, distractedness, forgetfulness are all key pointers to something going on.

That a child is brilliant and talented can mask these things or make parents overlook them.

Your child needs understanding, unconditional love, support and a solution to his challenge not more pain or fear mongering from you. Verbal abuse, beating or withdrawing loving behaviour might mess your child up.

Keep searching for different medical opinions till you find a doctor that understands his challenge and can help your boy.

Meantime, accept and love your boy to bits. Never stop loving him and helping him believe in and have confidence in himself.

Don't add to his problem. Be a solution.

Solid performance by the ref and her assistants. The only issue I had was with the penalty decision.

But I noticed that the players were on their best behaviours even when they didn't agree with her decision

Don't underestimate the power of a woman

Topic should read, When Men Were Boys. OP take note.

Local banger of my childhood.