₦airaland Forum

That rape incidence was so emotionally traumatic for you that it may have affected your sexuality. Here is how that can happen.

The hypothalamus which is the part of the brain that controls sexuality and the amygdala which is the part of the brain that controls emotions are very close to each other. Your traumatized amygdala may have affected your hypothalamus and thus your sexuality.

Psychologically speaking, the cause of the emotional trauma was a guy and your body has made the decision that it's not safe or fun to have sex with men, women are safer, better and more fun.

This is one of the ways people become gay.

I believe your own case has a chance at being reversed.

I am a therapist and have some experience in dealing with this type of issues. I might be willing to work with you on this. You can PM me and we can take it up from there.

My heart is cold
I love sex
I don't experience butterflies in my stomach for guys
I don't know how to love
I can deceive a guy into a relationship
but once we have sex, all that emotional yen yen yen feelings disappear fiaamm,
all I want is sex,
after sex, I hate the guy like shit
I was raped when I was 10


Girl, the rape at 10 broke you, can't you see? These are your own words. This is your norm.

The rape of a child is a destiny destroying event.

The two good relationships you had are the exceptions. Perhaps you had them in your younger days before the the effects of the rape created an iron cast over your heart. Sometimes our traumas are hidden to help us survive but are revealed later in our lives for us to resolve them.

Seek a therapist. You need help.

JJTeam:
[/b]On a serious note[b]: I noticed alot of constant trend of cyberbullying and i think you guys need to do better.

I understand it a sensitive issue but we intend to get our emotions wrapped up and losses focus on the main issues. This kind of behavior lost all manner of discussion between one and other. I want everyone to keep in mind that this is a thread and opinion may be differ from others.
We're all educate and we need to treat eachother with dignity and respect. I personally am guilty of this behavior but i try to fix it and i hope you guys do the same.

Personally, i believe not all cult are evil as they portray but theirs always one bad apple in every group. Please Understand! Cult can never be diminished or eradicated no matter how hard they try. Cult has been part of our existence in one form or another. We can do our diligent to try and support each other in order to convince the future generations.

The human nature instend to close up during aggression and we become guarded. We are all leaders and as such, we need to come together and have a discussion.

This is why i use [/b]#Saynotocultism[b] in every post.

As a leader of my group, i tried to lead my member to the right path but all would approve of this method and i understand their concerns.

Lets welcome new members of this forum with open arms before judging them of mere statement which they might have said.

I Promise to only reply to those with a reasonable comment and i expect you guys to do the same.

#Saynotocultism #SaynotoCYBERBULLYING

You are a passionate crusader against cyberbullying but have no qualms with killing people in black and shipping them in nylon bags or threatening to kill monicar and his family.

Your life is indeed a cautionary tale against two-faced hypocrisy!

Hello Pascopele

I think from what you wrote and their connotation these two are English words or formed from English words:

12) Jettison (Jetesin)
15) Maneuver(American English), Manoeuvre(British English) not Manover.

Barryseal:
I remember the first time he sang send down the rain in Lagos, the heavens really opened and poured.
It was a regular occurrence and alot of people casually suspected the spiritual undertone. They were right. Would have been interesting to know the rules he broke.

Same thing happened in the east. He came to Aba and sang Send Down The Rain at the Aba Stadium and it started raining cats and dogs.

The devil's gifts come with sorrows. Damn!

Thanks bro for opening up. I pray this helps you with closure and that you find that healing you seek.

This is just a snippet into the evil and decadence and depravity that is out there in our society.

I shake my head in disbelief when many men and even some women in Nairaland and elsewhere defend alleged rapists or abuse the few courageous women who speak up about their alleged abusers.

If the mad woman had come on nairaland to write that she was serially raped by this young boy in 2006, imagine the kind of backlash and attack and derision and shaming she would have received. Imagine for one second the kind of names she would have been called. How could such a smelly dirty ugly woman be raped by such an intelligent handsome young man? Imagine the memes and the public crucifixion she would be made to face.

Rape has become an endemic toxic culture in Nigeria and it didn't start today. Boys have been indoctrinated from a long time ago and there's no safety net for women.

Even as far back as my secondary school days in my boys only school I heard troubling things concerning organized gang rapes by our school boys in their neighbourhoods or at extra mural lessons. And I can tell you for free that things got worse over the years.

And even you the girls enable these rapists and attack other women who come out to call out their abusers. And some of you too are rapists in your own right, scavenging and prowling on innocent and vulnerable little boys and destroying their innocence and destinies. But today is not for you. Let's leave yours for another day.

Let this make us think and change our ways and mindset about rape and towards the war against rape.

#SayNoToRape

Mariangeles:
You think case number 2 should be treated as the other rape incidents?
Would it be fair on the man?

At any point she decides to decline penetration or further sex hold your fire, hold your own body. It's her body, she has all rights to it. She is the landlord of her estate(her body, her spirit and her soul). Respect that. Honour that.

You can beg, you can seduce, you can get angry but do not penetrate or assault her forcefully without her permission. On no account must you forcefully assault her sexually.

Is permission too hard to understand?

Without the landlord's permission any other thing is violation. It's desecration. It's rape, the rape and desecration and violation of a human spirit, soul and body. It is evil. It's inhuman. It should be condemned by all.

bukatyne:
First, you need to differentiate the different instances of rape.

A boy of 18 sleeping with his 16yr old girlfriend is statutory rape.

A boy who 'insists' on sex after his girlfriend 'withdrew' her consent after having a earth shattering organism during pre-intimacy can be accused of rape.

A boy who drugged a girl and raped her because she is 'chopping' his money is rape.

A boy who thought he was seeing green light from the half naked girl in his room is called a rapist.

A boy who dragged a random girl walking down the street into a corner is a rapist

A boy who rapes a baby is a rapist

Etc

I however do not think they deserve same punishment.

I wouldn't punish some at all as rapists (1 & 2).

You can flip the script for women too.

Apart from the first example you gave which I think should have some lighter sentence, all the others listed by you deserve very harsh punishments.

Bukatyne, you are also part of the problem. No should mean No. Nothing should justify rape. Nothing whatsoever!!!

Godlovesyou28:
How did you know that its my best psalm... I know the entire chapter by heart. The power in that scripture had seen me through many battles in the past and given me hope that God has my back. Thanks for the new insight thanks.

You are welcome.

It will work because the little you is aware of what happened back then spiritually but ignorant cognitively.

Cuddle her, tell her you love her and she is safe and keep reading the Psalms 91 to her. Get her to join you in reciting it.

God's grace.

Are you able to sleep easily now?

Lack of sleep shows that deep down you are afraid and tense about all this new information and it's implication.

You can read Psalm 91 but this time read it to the little you whose mother is missing and she is afraid and lonely. Keep reading it to her until she calms down and is no longer afraid.

You, the adult, will be able to sleep easily thereafter. It will also calm your anxiety and nervousness down.

Looking forward to your testimony.

You already have very good suggestions for the other problem.

Are you able to sleep easily now?

How many female commenters on this thread are commending and praising the batterer for assault beats me. So assault is allowed on certain grounds as long as it's the wives doing the beating? Interesting!

Graxie:
Satan is truly wicked!!! I can't believe what I am reading, to think some people still see good in disaster.

To drink mixed human blood(oath) no be small tin o, my sister. Many of them, their minds have been hijacked by very dark forces.

Some of them died at the initiation ground and demons resurrected in their place. The life they live now they live by the dictates of those demonic spirits.

Seared, depraved and warped minds. No logic, no reasoning, no preaching can emancipate these ones. Completely sold out to the devil.

Except God breaks them... like he did OP, nothing would make them leave.

Best bet is to preach for folks not to join at all. Catch and teach them young.

A40:
I think the lack of killer mentality was what killed Clyde, he perhaps didn't want it as badly as MJ or Kobe. He was as athletic as them but his game was a bit different. Shooting wasn't his forte, he was more of a fast break, transition buckets guy, he could also play off the ball better than MJ and Kobe probably could

And he could fly and hang in the air...

Lol. Those MJ and Kobe genes don't come every new moon o. They are rare. They are exceptions not the norm. It won't be fair to judge humans based on alien standards.

Blogger, Emmanuel Okocha was not a goal keeper please. He was a winger. Good player too but not in Okocha's level.

A40:
I always laugh when today's indomie generation keep droning about how today's players are athletic, stronger, faster yadda yadda yadda. Drexler that was a one man fast break. I daresay there is no SG today that was as quick and could hang in the air like Clyde

Clyde Drexler was very good. A bad guy. Fans and the media used to compare MJ to him. They had many similar qualities. Competitive MJ never liked that. Over the years MJ worked hard to show he was different and better and killed the comparison.

Monfeels:
I'm right about everything I said about Xhosanostra

I've dealt with women like her before. After suffering abuse from a narcissist or a manipulative person, they build this fake persona of tough and untouchable; a defense mechanism to suppress the constant pain and trauma that they endure as a result of their previous experiences, and they enter every interaction with men with this obsessive need to reinfornce and validate this mirage of a persona, when beneath this mask is a paranoid, frightened, wounded person terrified of relationships and unable to trust.

Don't be surprised to learn that most of what she said is a lie. People like this can get so messed up to the point of concocting false tales just to shore up their defenses. It's delusional.

If I could experience pity, I'd be feeling pity for her right now. But she's just a source of entertainment for me. The guy who abused her really did a number on her.

So what's the point of you opening this thread? To crush one more woman?

My guy, let me break it down for you, you are deeply wounded, broken and traumatized within. What you are now strutting around with is a protective defensive layer to cope with a horrible past you may or may not be aware of. You are just a bundle of protective coping mechanisms.

So you are broken, my friend, and it means your centre cannot hold and you are in 24/7 fight or flight response mode and that this your dis-ease will eventually escalate to a disease you may not be able to handle and that is if you don't get into other self inflicted troubles, pains and self sabotages first.

So wake up and smell the coffee and seek help or this same affliction you are now proudly parroting will kill you.

Nonsense and proud narcissist my foot.

Funny thread

Paga/Pagarachi
Para/ParaAleluia
Paraekene
Paraotito
Paliechi
Pataudo(bring peace)
Pataaku (bring wealth)
Paratule(examine)

A40:
Wrist injuries are not what will hold a player like Isiah Thomas down. He played for 3 seasons after 90/91, playing more games than he did in 90/91

It's inaccurate to suggest that he was unable to play because of his wrists

Nobody suggested that Isiah could not dominate a game, the argument is Isiah at his peak would have still lost to the Bulls because MJ's supporting cast had started showing some competence.

They took the Pistons to 7 games the previous year when Scottie and Horace shat the bed in Game 7 shooting 4/27 from the field. Otherwise I dare say that the Bulls would have beaten the Pistons in 89/90 as well

Long story short the Bulls were on the come up and nothing the Bad Boy Pistons could have done

Let's agree to disagree bro. No need for going round in circles.

I shall more than bountifully provide for my family all the days of my life but God let these callous conditional love women not cross my path. Lord, may they be very far away from me. Grant me a virtuous woman as a wife, o God! I know they are out there. Direct me aright. Order my steps, my God and my King. In Jesus name, Amen.

The Virtuous Woman

Proverbs 31:10-31 King James Version (KJV)
10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

King James Version (KJV)

A40:
What do you mean by influence in the game? The Pistons were never a team that solely relied on one player. Isiah was their leader but they were always a team that relied on community.

The Pistons would have been swept whether Isiah had wrist issues or not. The next season Isiah was perfectly ok when they got beaten by the Knicks

A torn Achilles was what ended his career three years later not any wrist issues. Get your facts correct bro

Isiah had announced retirement already before the Achilles injury. He was done physically and mentally and announced it officially. His wrist did him in. Check your facts again.

I wrote that Isiah can hijack a game and win it by himself if he needed to. I stand by that. It doesn't mean that the Pistons were a one man team like the early MJ's Bulls.

Isiah was a dominant player. With his wrist injury he was never the same player again. Any other projection of what could have happened if he wasn't injured is just mere permutation, so I won't go there again.

Ybaby:
Afi pontificating noh

I have learnt that men who are lazy to provide will look for all other sides of the issue.

O ba yin lo.... all these big grammer just so you don't pay your own child's school fees.

It is well

Nne, I was joking about the pontifcating. Didn't you see the laugh emoji? I actually enjoyed the back and forth and learnt something from you.

Thanks for the insults.

Ybaby:
My bro every man has a 3 months grace to get his shit together.

Life happens and most wives especially in a society like NG prefer to be married at least for appearance sake so for a woman to go from angel to witch ... it takes 3 months.

Now for better for better not worse ..... that statement does not supercede the man being an infidel or worse than an infidel when he cannot provide. They will be together but he will leave by himself when the fury of hell is brought on him.

No one is more resilient than women - she is programmed to carry a child for 9 months - but no matter how.much money she has..... for emphasis I will repeat no matter how much money she has - she is not programmed to shelter, feed or cloth a man least of all her husband.


See the bible said worse than an infidel - meaning he will be treated worse than an infidel.

Teach your sons how to make money. Let the girls go to school and let the boys learn to trade and go to school.

A man is practically useless in a family setting if he is not providing

Ire o

Lol @ 3 months grace. See the way she is pontificating

There are other sides of this issue you haven't looked at. Just that I am not in the mood for long writing.

Have learnt one or two things about the way your minds work though. Thanks for your time

Ybaby:
Eventually all wives who pay all or some bills cheat. I am not saying it is good I am only stating the fact.

Wives who shelter thier husbands eventually become violent towards the husband.

See the bible knows what it was saying when it said a man who cannot provide is worse than an infidel... those wives may pretend to respect thier husband in his face but gossip their husbands to neighbours, family and friends letting them know they pay the Bills.

What OP experienced is even small. When a woman pays Bills she emasculates the man in front of him or behind him.... she will sha find a way to subliminally let the world know she wears the trouser.

Na so we see am. I pray for you that you are able to fully pay your household Bill's and kids bills if you add your wife's bill she will let the world know you are the MAN!

Sunny Ade said one man was made to escourt his wife to her boyfriend house.... na money cause am.

Man is on earth to pay Bill's, to work and uplift his family...... may all men be able to do this because the consequences of otherwise is severe.

An angel can become a witch if she is made to pay a man's bills

Fact. Now this is the reality of many women funded homes, whether the funding is partly or fully, but it usually manifests more when the man is struggling.

I agree with you that a man must ensure that he is able to take financial care of his home.

For balance, my question is does the marriage vow, for better or worse, not mean anything to the women folk?

Is there no way for the finance-providing woman to be genuinely respectful and supportive of his man while the man finds a way to overcome his money travails?

Shouldn't women also begin to equip themselves with the resources and resilience to be able to withstand this kind of reversal of roles when their husband's financial circumstance begins to falter so as to save their marriage and their children are not raised in single parent homes? Is money all that counts?

Forgive me, I am just thinking out aloud. This problem of men losing financial power and women taking over family responsibility is becoming too rife and there seems to be no end in sight.

The family is under threat by this phenomenon.

A40:
I think you're really hyper-extending yourself to not give credit where it's due. Using this same logic we can also say the Pistons were able to overthrow the Celtics solely because they got old.

This so-called career ending injury you claim ended Isiah's career did not stop him from averaging 38 minutes per game in that series. The following two years he averaged 18 and 7.5 assists and played 79 games so explain how he was no longer the same player?

He played for 13 seasons which is about above average for the lifespan of guards from the 80's era

If MJ had a better supporting cast who is to say he would not have beaten the Pistons much earlier. The Pistons were arguably the deepest team of all time with Dumars, Isiah, Vinny Johnson, Rodman, Mahorn and Aguirre

There was never any love lost between the Bulls and Pistons but I don't understand how walking off the court improves anything.

Anyway it speaks to Isiah and how he is perceived by his peers that nobody stuck their neck out for him to be welcomed back into the team. Not even his coach. Assuming it was remotely true that MJ didn't want him there. You think if Malone, Bird and Magic insisted Isiah wouldn't make it in?

So minutes played and influence on a game are now the same thing? Na wah o.

Prior to the injury Isiah could hijack a game and win it all by himself if he needed to like an MJ would. After the injury he could no longer do that. It affected his game in every way, ball handling, dribbling, shooting, resilience. In fact, opposing players would hack away at that wrist as they all now knew it was his Achilles heel. It speaks to his mental toughness that he was able to still impact a game at all and lead his team after that injury.

Everyone, including the Pistons Management knew the end had come when the injury would not heal.

Till this day that right wrist is still almost immobile.

Eruditor:
Bill Laimbeer was the reason the Pistons walked out. But Isiah supported him. And their main reason at the time was that at 3-0 Jordan and Pippen talked disparagingly about them so they wanted to return the disrespect. I know he tried to soften things in the "Last Dance" but if you watched the ESPN 30 for 30 for the Bad Boys Pistons, you'd see that Jordan and Pippen were very disrespectful and ungraceful even when it was clear they were going to win the series.

Isiah did a stupid thing (he was known to make stupid jokes) about Magic but that was because Anthony Fauci in the 80's had misinformed the world that HIV was a "gay disease". So when Isiah was asked about Magic, he stupidly said he could not tell if Magic was a closet gay since he had contracted the gay disease. And he was laughing while at it because he was genuinely joking. He has done a sit-down interview with Magic and both former players cried about it. They were best friends.

Anyways, that is the major reason he was not in the 1992 Olympics team. He had also quarrelled with Chuck Daly. If you watched Isiah's Niasmith Hall of Fame introduction by Chuck, you can draw the inference. Chuck Daly would later say that had Isiah been 5 inches taller he would have been the greatest basketballer of all times.

Laimbeer was a bad influence. He had no soul. Isiah, as a respected and intelligent leader, should have rejected that walk out suggestion. He has now borne the painful brunt and consequences of that decison and will take it to his grave.

There is no way you can talk about the history of that era without mentioning Isiah but that walk out cost him a hand and a leg. Larry Bird, Magic Johnson and MJ are glorified and Isiah is only talked about as a footnote.

Very harsh.

A40:
Maybe not up and coming as a star but perhaps as a leader. He did a lot or had to do a lot on his own

I don't want to hear anything about Isiah injury. He averaged 38 mins in that sweep. Lol I no wan hear any story

The Pistons reign had run its course with or without the Bulls. Isiah, whom the Pistons was built around, had a career ending wrist injury before the beginning of the season that affected his play in the series. He was no longer the same player. He never recovered and retired at 32 because of it.

If he had been fit, it would not have been that easy for the Bulls.

Big ups to MJ and the Bulls though for they worked hard to overcome the Pistons' hump and were a reallly good team.

MJ and Pippen so insulted and disrespected the Pistons in Press interviews when it became clear they were going to win and I'm sure it heavily influenced the walk out.

History has not been kind to Isiah.

scoundrel:
I stopped debating on this forum when slowly I discovered the ages of steady naysayers in this platform. I’ve made my opinion and my life continues.

Ages... Steady naysayers...

Would have loved to hear your perspective though. Your call.

*****

Love your diary though. You write well. Different too.

scoundrel:
#story. In his day he was a small heavyweight. Now we have monsters weighing up to 260 - 280lbs in fighting shape. As the years go fighters get bigger, stronger and faster than generations past. Without utilizing defence a lot of these modern guys will still tank his punches and leave his prime self sleeping on the canvas.

You know nothing, Jon Snow.

First off, how old are you? In his prime, all giants fell, most within 4 rounds and less. All giants. All!

hakeem4:
His whole life since after making money from microsoft has been dedicated to making vaccines. He and his GAVI Foundation have invested boatloads in vaccines, and they are just providing funding for vaccine development. Bill Gates doesn't “develop” vaccines. He does, however, provide funds to support people who do, and he is very knowledgeable about how to spend that money to get results. One thing he is doing is supporting several promising programs at once, including funding the facilities that will be needed for large-scale production if the vaccines work. He points out that the money spent on preparing for production will be “wasted” on the vaccines that don't work, but that building production capacity for all of the promising programs means that the ability to scale up will be ready immediately for the “winner.”

It is that kind of strategic thinking that we need.
To be honest i do not know what to say to you. Keep being a conspiracy theorist

God bless you. At least Nigeria still have some reasoning men. There is still hope.

Lawly:
Lmfao. why then where you crying like your clients?
oohhh I understand. client emotional interference.

I now have no doubt you are either a rapist or a potential one or just a seared and callous reprobate mind.

Bye bro.

Lawly:
naah not rapist. a witness.

Not a rape victim, a coach and therapist