₦airaland Forum

fati2001:
IF YOU LIKE RECEIVING THEN GIVE.




AND STOP SAYING RUBBISH.

Gbam!!

Amebong:
I love Jane very much, and we have been dating for the past one year. We do knack back to back, and they've been no issue.
Few months ago she's started asking me to suck her! I don't like it and it actually irritates me. How can I put my mouth inside there? Let alone drilling nonsense with my mouth.

She's telling me I don't love her else I would have done what she said. I honestly haven't done it before and I don't want to start now.!

Please how do I escape it.? I'm really confused!!

has she sucked your dick?

Better reciprocate or get the fvck out so another guy can service her. Love is about compromise.

GetMeRight:
Sense is very far from you

How?!

Because I made a logical statement of an emotional one?

Don't have sex if you cannot afford to take care of the results.

cococandy:
She needs to be starved to death in the same exact manner too. What a demon

As much as I am sad for the death of the child, the mother is irresponsible. She got pregnant willy billy and gave birth to a baby she can't afford, got indebted to someone she shouldn't have. I blame the mother and father for choosing to have a child in poverty.

Goldentulip2:
It’s sad the situation got to this. Some people in this world DONT play with money. They are ready to kill for it, sad truth. The madame and the mother are at fault. So she paid for your hospital delivery fee, I don’t know but before anyone gets pregnant or if you find out you are pregnant, I beg YOU start to plan for your child’s costs from delivery fee to sending that child to school or learning a trade. It’s sad but people should ALWAYS have it in their head, some folks will do ANYTHING because of money. May he RIP, sad smh.

sentiment aside you spoke facts

Mide1data:
HOLY SHIT

I read it, it not technically rape. But the boy is a minor, so she's gotta go to jail.
But if you know the topic shock you hit the Like and Share button.

WHAT DA BLEEP IS HAPPENING

it's rape. Statutory rape.

No consent was given.

Maximum sentence for.rapists and child molesters should be given to her

I don't envy them.

I won't have to spend money on a trip with our bad nigerian roads.
The cities will be less congested with traffic

younglleo:
U failed in bed!
Ur physique nd ur bedgame are two different stuff!
U get body like Brock lesner come dey knack like officer woos

jesus christ

Frank2021:
Good evening guys I am in a serious relationship with this girl and she bath and change in my front. I use to video her withone app called BACKGROUND VIDEO RECORDER. With the app u can record with the person noticing you are recording he or her. Luck ran out today as she was naked and looking for cloths to wear. I was moving my phone too to record everything. She suddenly came to me snatch the phone and saw it record. She play the video and saw her self. She was very Angry and walk me out. For 4 days now she block and refuse to talk to me. Please what can I do to get her back. I love her so much?

uncle. Stay the Bleep away from women

1Sharon:
Lool...I'm going open a thread on you DIEvestors.

Oh, and black women are not loyal that's a lie.

please do so

malcom1X:
The Vaccines had already expired before reaching Nigeria or Africa. The WHO said they should not throw it away that they should use it like that... Only one African country Malawi destroyed theirs. Another African country returned some.
Don't be deceived by the media, read for yourself. Here are links if I dey wrong knock my head. Check the date of publication too


https://www.bbc.com/news/56940657


https://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-56848551


https://www.voanews.com/a/covid-19-pandemic_malawi-rejects-who-call-use-expired-covid-vaccine/6205008.html

thanks for the info

mogpet:
What can we take for the cough?

that depends on a lot of factors and is different for everyone.

I would suggest going to the nearest hospital to get checked

BigCabal:
Once upon a time, an insane Christian book that claimed the devil created football as a tool to destroy humanity trended on the internet. I did the dirty work of actually reading and recapping it. The article was so popular that I decided to make my recaps into a weekly series named “So You Don’t Have To“, where I find batshit crazy pieces of media (books, movies, etc) and recap them for your pleasure.
What branch of iftness are you going to?!
Today, I’ll be telling the story of the time I tried pre-workout and almost sent myself to the great beyond.

I made a big mistake that day. And yes, I have regrets.

Date: 11th of November 2021
Time: 7:50 a.m.
Location: Bedroom
Activity: Thinking

I’m lying in bed thinking about my fitfam journey. Ever since I fell off the rails in 2017, it’s been a mess. I think about how I registered at a gym in April 2021 and actually did the damn thing for a few months but fell off again. Now, three months later, I haven’t gone back because I’m always tired.

But that’s about to change. You see, I’ve recently encountered something that can turn my fitness journey around. The thing doesn’t belong to me, but I’m going to get my hands on it by any means necessary.

Summer body here I come.

Time: 10:30 a.m.
Location: Kitchen
Activity: Stealing

My partner has just bought a tub of pre-workout, and I am determined to try some of it without telling them.

I have no idea why I’m keeping this is a secret. I guess being fraudulent makes me feel alive. Anyway, I mix a scoop of the pre-workout powder in water. I expect it to have the same texture as a protein shake but it doesn’t and just looks like…powder in water. I’m like, “YOLO” and down it in one gulp. The high-pitched scream that escapes my lips immediately after swallowing would’ve made Ariana Grande say “Kilode?!”

The mixture tastes like citrus-flavoured battery acid.

Time: 11:26 a.m.
Location: On my way to the gym in a cab
Activity: Vibrating with energy

It’s been almost an hour since I drank the pre-workout and I feel excellent. I get to the gym and immediately start sprinting on the treadmill.

I spend 20 minutes on the treadmill, move straight to the elliptical machine, and start riding violently. I go from that to the weights section to work on my arms. When I’m done, I put my legs to work at the squat rack. I can feel the energy from the pre-workout coursing through my body like electricity and I feel ALIVE.

This must be what eating meth feels like.

Time: 12: 49 p.m.
Location: The gym floor
Activity: Trying not to die

One moment, I’m working the hell out of a stationary bike, and the next, I’m on the floor feeling faint. The room is spinning and my chest is doing gbim gbim. I wonder what could be causing this and remember that I took the pre-workout on an empty stomach. Bleep. It’s the middle of the day so I’m alone in that section of the gym. I lie there for a few minutes, unable to get up. Then I think about what the headlines would be if I die on the top floor of Nigeria’s fastest-growing gym chain, surrounded by stationary bikes. That gives me the strength to stand.

“Lagos fat man slumps and dies while working out.”

Time: 1:15 p.m.
Location: Sandwich shop beside the gym
Activity: Wolfing down a disgustingly healthy sandwich

In the sandwich shop’s defence, selling anything but healthy food next to a gym would be plain evil. I made my way there and frantically demanded a sandwich, scaring the attendants so much, they hand me the sandwich before asking for money. As I sit there eating a sandwich filled with leaves, I remember the stock photos of white people laughing while eating salads and wonder what the Bleep they’re laughing at because this shit tastes like grass.

Bleep those lying Caucasians.

Time: 1:30 p.m.
Location: Gym toilet
Activity: Virtual work meeting

Turns out a client scheduled an important meeting for that time and I totally forgot about it. Fortunately, I had enough energy to “Hmmm” and “Yah” my way through it. Capitalism is the worst.

I picked the toilet because I needed a quiet place and the gym plays loud ass music 24/7.

Time: 3: 21 p.m.
Location: Home
Activity: Realising that I could’ve fucking died that day

I’m reading the instructions on the side of the pre-workout container and it says that beginners should first try half a scoop to see how their body reacts to it. It also says that pre-workout contains the caffeine equivalent of four cups of coffee and that people with hypertension should stay away from it. Guess who has two thumbs and blood pressure that’s high as shit?

Me.

I could’ve died of a heart attack. Girl, I…

Time: 4:39 a.m.
Location: Bedroom
Activity: Screaming in frustration

It’s been over 12 hours since I got home, and I’m exhausted but can’t sleep because the pre-workout electricity is still running through me. I scream, “Eli Eli lama sabachthani?!” and fall to the floor in tears. My partner is stressed out and sitting in a chair, watching me display madness. I’ve refused to let them sleep because HOW DARE THEY SLEEP WHEN I’M IN DISTRESS?!

“I’M A GOOD PERSON! I DON’T DESERVE THIS!!”

Time: 7:23 a.m.
Location: Kitchen floor
Activity: FINALLY sleeping

Never again will I attempt to use performance enhancers. Nah fat I fat. I no kill person.

Source: https://www.zikoko.com/pop/so-you-dont-have-to/i-tried-pre-workout-and-almost-died-so-you-dont-have-to/?utm_source=nairaland_reshare&utm_medium=referral&utm_id=nairaland.131221

Read more "So You DOn't Have To" stories here: https://www.zikoko.com/category/pop/so-you-dont-have-to/?utm_source=nairaland_reshare&utm_medium=referral&utm_id=nairaland.131221

is it ifitness you are going to? What pre workout did you use?!

naijayouthpower:
Wondering why the vaccination rate is so low in Nigeria. Is it lack of availability?

I've taken, due to my job, but a lot of people don't want to take the vaccine, neither do they want to wear face masks. They still believe covid-19 is a scam
.
Besides about 1 million vaccines expired last month

mogpet:
I notice that of late there is a sickness going around where every person is coughing. Some say it is the weather. I believe there is more to it than the weather. Please share your experience.

yesterday at work, (which was terrible, I saw about 120 patients) 90% of my patients had the complaint of cough.

It's like a wave. I think it's seasonal, but it could be covid.lagos island

Negroid001:
Fear fear

if you call protecting my family from whiny online weak men 'fear fear', then so be it.

CivilizedElk901:
Go and look for rope and do the needful

I'll give that rope to you right now, do the world a favor by doing the needful

Johndagr8t:
ashawo come out boldly idiot

you this much with a nose like a tornado, you still have guts to be trolling from niger republic.

Mtcheeeeeeeeeew!!

Abeg let better person speak jare!!

Dorcmass:
Dear lander
am 29 am still suffering from small penis
my gf have complain alot and threaten to leave me
because i get small penis
have do all my best even my parent also have tried their best
buh the prick stil remail the same
and now me and gf have plan our marriage wich is cming ealier
how can i Bleep her till her satisfaction talk less of getting pregnant
and lady of nowaday leave men that can't handle them tough during sex
my family have nt heard anything about our up coming break up
and we've choose date for our marriage
please help me nairalander
That daddy is to small gan ni
Please any advice

micropenis.

Go and see a urologist

Vinnie2000:
Hahahaha!

See you!
I am not sure you enter Bush when you were a Kid! You must have been a Posh Kid!

All Grasshoppers are NOT green!

In Warri axis, we call dat Abaka!
Butterfly is called Labalaba.
While Dragonfly is called Adadamu!

I have never enter bush, but you se those legs. It's a cricket � joor

babtoundey:
Labalaba is butterfly

This is tata - grasshopper

grasshoppers are green, that's a cricket

mekuso89:
Ok guys I caught this (Ukpara in igbo) resting on my Shirt I hunged outside

So I decided to snap it and upload here.

in Igbo we called it ukpara

What do you people call it in your various languages And also the correct English name for it?.

cricket

Negroid001:
Bring your sister or mom. Make we the test your hypothesis.

I'll politely decline your request

This is a one minute man thread. Let me be going

frozen70:
You expanded the muscles of your nose to look bigger and you are here telling lies to nature

I wish you a bigger nose

Chai!!

Johndagr8t:
what's chin bro

the part of your face below your mouth, that your tiny beard grows out from

Pumpumking:
Bro ignore this nairaland mofos....the good knews is women love mans wit wide nose..it simply mean u a grade A expat at sukin punnny.....u dontvbelif,juss ask AoifeNightfall

!((THANK ME LATER)))

Johndagr8t:
thanks very much!!!

You people are complaining about his vacuum cleaner nose, it's his chin that looks like a small girl's nyash that I'm worried about.

Iamdbull:
"When you ask me for pre-marital sex"

you just farted

JamlinksNetwork:
He doesn't talk much, infact on your first time encountering him, you would think he's introverted.
He hates the presence of girls, he's quick to shunning and snubbing them, he makes them feel inferior but yet they still come after him.
He's actually getting popular with this stuff in my area, girls dare not talk while he's talking, he would embarrass them senseless.

so, he's basically probably gay, or an incel. Tell us something we don't know before.

ImoleNaija:
Save all these until a year or two into your marriage. OP might have claimed her hubby was an angel during courtship, too. I pray he is all you wish though.

Amen!!

Devvy4:
You’re a Dumb pleb

My dear, he has been provoking her, tell yourself the honest truth.

Or did he think his mouth without filter won't have consequences?!

ImoleNaija:
E pele, ma. And you think OP is any better? Sirjames must be an angel. If this is all your mentality, una go leave r/ships tire.

sirjamesjnr is an angel, God bless him. He is not a verbally and physically abusive man. Well behaved, well brought up, smart, easy-going, funny, energetic, A leader, a model for nigerian men everywhere.

I am not perfect, but I draw the line at abusive behavior, physical and verbal