₦airaland Forum

litigator:
Battle of egos. A tale of two gold diggers. One dug the eldest son and felt she has the world under her feet.

The lowly one was smart enough to dig the father and suddenly became the boss of the madam that earlier felt she has arrived and was the boss of the universe.

Madam OP, If you were your nanny's friend and cared about your home, especially the welfare of your father-in-law (the golden goose that is laying the golden eggs), you would have noticed.

The only complaint I have been able to decipher from your unfortunate tale is that of selfishness and you not wanting anyone to challenge your authority as the Olori Ebi of the family.

But suddenly the Biblical Esther is now queen and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

This is my advice.

In case you have not noticed the handwriting on the wall, please do and do not let people deceive you into making charms and bullshit. You will lose your home and you have already lost 50%.

Care for your Nanny, be more present in the home, care for your home, engage your father-in-law and care for his needs if it's not too late for you to begin that.

Get close to your brothers and sister-in-law. And apologise to your husband. Their action speaks volumes. It is certain nobody is considered or is considering your feelings and how this affects you because they know you are maybe selfish.

This is my analysis of the facts. I stand corrected.

she is justified to have those feelings. Don't be lying here

MrPresent:
This is a true life story.

The lady in question is so confused on what to do.

Please advise her responsibly:

(Matured Minds Only)

*************************************

Good morning, I am married into a very wealthy home, my husband is the eldest child, they are four, 3 male and a female.

Last two years I got a nanny, she's 32 years, my husband is in charge of his father company, his father has houses everywhere around the world but he's leaving with us, because of loneliness, he lost his wife 12yrs ago and since then he refused to marry again, he's 65years old but still young, I have a supermarket, so my nanny cook and takes care of the home while I'm away, my nanny has been sleeping with my father in-law but I didn't know, March this year we found out she's pregnant and she said it was papa that was responsible, when I ask her how long she has been sleeping with him she said since last year.

I was shouting at her when my husband shut me up that I shouldn't talk to her like that, that she's not a child, my own house help! When my husband talk to his father about it, he said the girl, that is my nanny has been his companion that he wants to marry her, mogbe I said over my dead body, my own maid, instead of my husband to be on my side he said if marrying the girl will make his father Happy that he has his support, the house we are living is build by my father in-law, it's a duplex, Mummy as am writing you my husband and his brothers followed my father in-law to pay my nanny dowry, they came back yesterday.

I didn't go with the children because I can't Believe my father in-law stoop so low to marry my maid when there are other women out there, last night I was talking to my husband and he told me to stop referring her as my nanny that she's now Married to his father therefore I should be calling her "Aunty mi", and my kids who usually call her Aunty should start calling her "Mummy", and I asked him what will she be calling me, he said anything she likes.

I am just here crying, someone I brought into my home has now turned madam over me, what should I do, and I can't tell my husband to rent another apartment when he has a duplex, papa can't leave either because he want to be close to his son, how long can I take this, please I need advice. Thanks. Married for 10years.

What a Life!

******************
What Are Your Thoughts?

She would be in the comment section reading.

if I were the op, I would start trying to convince my husband on moving out of his father's house. How op allowed this in the first place is a mystery to me. You have to swallow your pride and make an escape plan.

Secondly, focus on your own family, get a new nanny,and make sure the old one has less contact with your children, same as the father in law. If the old geezer can marry a 32 year old, he's a low key paedophile and they are not safe around him. You do run the risk of allowing your children lose an inheritance if there's any. Because the old nanny will most likely have a large portion of it. It is what it is.

Three watch out for your husband as he is complicit in the matter, start planning and saving for your future and that of your children cos your husband might do the same thing your father in law did to you. Like father, like son. Get him or his father in law to open businesses in your name.

Fourthly, find a title that seems respectful, but not Aunty. She is not your aunty. Try to make peace with her while planning your exit so that you can have peace.

Be careful, warn your children to reduce contact with her. Be smart, put your ears on the ground. Your feelings are justified and the old nanny is an opportunist and gold digger.Be happy for her, and guard your home diligently. Hold your husband.

Nezzjnr:
Some people get to look down at you if you aren't in a Department in the church or do stand a chance of loosing out of God's blessings.

I feel it's your personal relationship with God.

I agree, it's not by force.

I think op and his fiancee should go to their respective churches cos I honestly don't see a problem, or two of you leave your respective churches and hunt for a new one.

She telling you to leave your church for hers is very selfish. You also telling her to join your church will be selfish too

But then, why did she date a Catholic? Cos I cannot.

falcon01:
Don't force it. If you don't feel love towards her just keep her as a friend, never ever force feelings towards her since you love her as a friend and that's enough.

I agree, don't give her any green light until you are ready. Don't force yourself, don't rush things.

This girl might be love bombing him. I don't understand the rationale behind treating guys like your boyfriend without any feedback from him

helinues:
Is flowers eatable or cashable?

exactly
They Wilt after 3 days and the fake ones lose their brightness after a month or so

Flowers are not really useful as a birthday gift. Flowers ought to be paired with something else, like a teddy, jewelry etc. not a standalone gift. Besides, I have severe allergies to pollen.

Men enjoy sex more, women enjoy intimacy more

Homellyy:
I’m a single lady and I just found out that I’m pregnant with twins but the father doesn’t want them. I don’t know what to do.

go to a to doc and abort of you are not ready to feed two extra mouths alone

Maryliola:
Hey guys

I’m making this post because I don’t want to be judged and I can’t turn my on people in my real life because they may not understand. Well I’ve been married for 2 plus years I’m 27 with a son. I’m going to get personal so embrace yourself.

Myself and my husband have a good relationship, almost too good because I literally see him like my brother. This is to the point where our romantic/lover side of our relationship is kinda dead. I see him naked, it’s like looking at my brother naked. I don’t feel turned on, or excited. We talk and gist like friends, but romantically things are flat. Our sex life is mediocre I guess. He doesn’t do oralll sexxx and he ejaculates very fast. I’m talking 10 seconds, and it’s every single time despite taking different preventative measures. I know that I’m extremely clean as I’m very observant of myself and he also tells me all the time. Yet orall sexxx is disgusting to him and “dehumanising”. There’s no passion when we kiss, its forced most times.


Lately I’ve been finding myself fantasising about being touched by a man , almost every night . A man that will give me orall sexx a man that will turn me on and blow me away. I don’t want to be judged here, but this is genuinely how I’ve been feeling. I don’t want to put pressure on my husband as he has other things to worry about.
A man that will kiss me in all the right places and make me feel like a woman. Sometimes I believe I’m being delusional, or unrealistic. I’m trying to get rid of these thoughts, but I really don’t know how. I have never cheated on my husband and I don’t think I have the guts to do it. I really just want to know how married people cope when that spark is gone. When you begin to look at your spouse like a brother or sister, and romantically the vibes are not there.

Let me also say that I’ve addressed this to him many times, but he stands he’s not willing to compromise.

Help!

Mods, I need this on front page as I need help for people to see this.

your husband had better give you the mouth action else you find your happiness and get it elsewhere.

Lollittaa:
As far as I could remember, I've always had very painful menstruation. To a point that it affects my ability to work or be productive.
Painkillers hardly work, so it's about 4-7 days of Pre menstrual cramps +5 day period of agony. Almost two weeks every month. Sometimes I fall sick during or after my period.
I talked to my doctor. I was thinking family planning pills might pause my periods for sometime. But he said no they don't. He advised I be taking painkillers prior to my period and I have ulcer.

I'm tired. NL doctors, what can I do?

go to the hospital and see a gynaecologist

Fowl ynash dey open

reddingtonblack:
Now we know why buhari is alway making lame decisions.

lol

Men who rest on their lover's breasts are better decision makers, and perform better in bed

Jasmine17:
Will you agree before?

Your lot are the unruly ones jare.

Una go dey alright last last

you too

These transgender can be bullies at times.

Much ado about pronouns.

malcom1X:
If you had said melon soup in your post, I would have accepted but you mentioning Egusi defeated the whole purpose.

Evusi as a name is an Igbo name, besides have you ever eaten anything without stew added to it?
A real egusi soup has no stew added to sweeten it. Its just sweet on its own.

The south south has more food than the south east but when it comes to Egusi... Its the east that owns it.

I'm from the south south. Not Igbo.

igbos and their greed, claiming what isn't theirs

FuckAllTheMODs:
Which one is efo riro?

OP, the proper name is vegetable soup since it cut across different tribes.

I have eaten all but I don't think I can eat any of gbegiri, ewedu, miyankuka etc again or anytime soon. I had them during my years as a student and as a corp member.
My favorite is onugbo mixed with fresh egusi or Ogbono soup or onugbo alone...
The mixing is learnt from frequent patronizing of restaurants back then.

there a difference between vegetable soup and ego riro

malcom1X:
Evusi is an Igbo name.

no it isn't. No tribe can claim egusi. It is universally nigerian

femi4:
The combo is superb with Tuwo. You're limiting yourself

Better with Amala and ponmo and titus fish. Very light and delicious

Box18:
Why una not put ogwho soup ? that soup na one in a million.

no owho, no black soup, no groundnut soup, op is a joker

gasparpisciotta:
Igbo have the best soups of all the tribes....salute!

not true, all are variations of the same thing

Decolink:
Please I will try to be brief.
I started dating her in 2017,we dated for 3yrs and I traveled outside the country in 2020.
We didn't have any problems and I was serious about getting married to her.
When I was leaving she promised not to have another boyfriend and to wait for me(she is 24). I promised not to disappoint her.
It was going well for sometime until after one year,we had a quarel and separated.

About 3 months ago,we got back together,and she said she was still intact and waiting for me.
We started communicating regularly,but I noticed that each time were talking,she would be receiving calls frequently,after sometime,I confronted her with it,she lied that he was her customer. But I called the guy and found out he is a guy that was chiking her before.
She later admitted that she dated the guy when we had quarels. She also admitted to going to night clubs that period.

I still love her,but I'm pained because she cheated,lied about it and was reluctant about coming out of that relationship.
I'm also thinking of continuing the relationship because I have been outside for 2year now,it happened when we quarelled and she has agreed to stop it.
Nairalanders,do you think I should quit the relationship or go ahead with marriage plans.

there's a difference between dating and cheating.

Ekejoestar:
Brown envelope journalist.

Fun fact= do you know that it was because of Gistlover influence that made our animals in black to release the vehicle of that Uber guy that was brutalized during end sars anniversary. When gistlover first talked to them in peace, they refused until he posted Sanwo Olu number which twisted their hands.

Somebody will just wake up and start vomiting rubbish, Gistlover is holding people accountable for their actions and it's not a bad thing.

Your accusations are dumb founded because all his gist are true, he is never in the business of defamation of character.

Mr writer, what did you do when that Uber guy's vehicle was seized by our animals in uniform? Or did you not see the harassment and intimidation he suffered? It was gistlover that first carried the story even your favorite instablog and tunde ednut was scared to report it. But gistlover called the. NPF out with his full chest.

Or when Bobrisky scammed many people and refused to refund them?

Which of the politifcians ruining the future of this country have you called out with your full chest the same way gistlover is calling them out?

Don't worry when the vawulence students on NL get your time,then we go dig out your dirty deals with the yeye govt.

E be like say u wan make mango tree fall on you abi?

what about the part where gist lover blackmails for money. That part is true

Jasmine17:
Are you talking about the new movement that calls themselves “unruly Nigerian women in diaspora?”

Nope

TalkTalkTwins:
Guys for real girls don't want to let me rest they like rubbing my tummy like the guy in this photo


It's not like I have money o I just have big tummy, and I'm a fine boy.
I will nau wear senator and hold that bag yahoo boys used to hold. My house key is like a car key, I will be waving it.

Later I will give gist that my car is in mechanic
Last last I don't spend, na them dey spend on me.

Over fine dey worry me abeg

Oga, wake up from your daydream

joshawesome:
Good morning happy people of nairaland.

I will try to be brief as possible. During the lock down my elder brother was seriously ill, we all thought it normal malaria and typhoid but getting to the hospital he was diagnosed of kidney diseases at it last stage (CKD). We all brace up and gave him all the support needed during the stage from one dialysis section to another something thrice a week.

It became worse and no improvement at sight, I literally do all thing for him, from bathing to feeding and carry him around the hospital but he faith he will come out of it. During the process he used all of his life saving to the extend of collecting and seeking financial assistance from people because the doctor advice to undergo kidney transplants.

On 2 April 2021 we went from dialysis, nurses were complaining that I allow him to drink a lot of water because at that stage he have a daily water intake and also needed blood. He did the blood transfusion and the dialysis but he had a breathing issue, the nurse place him on breathing machine the oxygen got exhausted and he was normal.

We went home by 12am, on getting home we ask for water, I told him to wait because I can even hear noise of water around his thoracic cavity. He was having difficult I had to call one of his friend so that we can take him back to the hospital but he gave up the ghost and we bury him that the same day because that was his wish. Due to his name, I was confused and angry at myself and everyone that we lost him due to 5 million needed for the transplant.

Months later I was able to get over his death a bit and went back to school, wrote the exam and graduated with first class even though the examination I didn't prepared much due to what happened. It was just God hand at work ( It only a fool that say there is no God).

Now the problem is that I can't sleep and remember my brother death that I should have done more. His death is like 5 months from now but it still fresh in my memory recently. My brother play a vital role in my education from paying my fee and monthly allowance and advice. I was thinking of using drugs so that I can sleep at time but talk me out of it. Pls how can I re again myself and also am an introvert I don't have people to talk to and I hardly go out.

sorry about the loss of your brother.

you are grieving. I would advise going to a doctor to get sleeping medication, but he will only give you for a short while probably a week max because their long term use will make sleeplessness (isonmia) worse. You should also go to your school counselor or a psychologist to help with the grieving process. I just lost my grandma a few weeks ago, and am so busy planning the burial, I have not had time to grieve and process the feelings of her death.

Do you know that psychiatrists also help treat isommia?!

neyoohhh:
You're honest.

Although I've seen more bw with foreigner's lately. It seems those white boy's have a type when it comes to bw. You must be very dark, skinny and be a professional.

there's a movement gaining momentum among black women. Very soon a number of black women will stop this blind loyalty to black men.

Hyerin:
True true the ain't shitness of men cuts across races but for black men, it's like theirs is amped up to a millionth degree. At least, other men aren't at the bottom of the social, economic and political ladder globally and they compete with each other—not with women. it's just so fucking irritating these men type away on their keypads on why Nigerian women are this and that yet still chase after said women. That's like knowing fire is hot yet still sticking a finger into the flame. The whites and Asians they pedestalize, why can't they just go after them? And in peace. Why must they constantly antagonize black women to the world? Just a bunch of sadists.

They're also deluded into thinking these foreign women they chase or fantasize about actually want them. They deride black women for being "undesirable" but somehow, them—being the splitting image of black women—is exempt from undesirability. They're racist to their own kind and inadvertently racists towards themselves . Antiblackness is a global phenomenon—I would
even say Asians are particularly notorious in this respect—yet somehow, the creators and perpetuators of racism want them. The black male pathology needs to be studied. They're such sell outs, its pathetic.

Amen to that! Winter is coming for the black man.

Jasmine17:
Love the way you are subtly making it about me. But unfortunately, its just a reflection of you and other naija ladies putting up such behaviours.

I get looked in constantly, go on dates constantly and if i wanted, I will marry a very beautiful non-Nigerian right now.

Your class of naija babes in diaspora are one of the most un-prettiest (if the word exist) class. Even jamos and East Africans fine pass una.

Once you see any lady on the street with an old looking lagos-style braids or shabby hair, 9 out of 10 times, she turns out to be a Nigerian lady cos una no even get money to take care of una sef and when una manage get, stinginess no dey let una spend on unasef.

Me looking at the way of Nigerian ladies is just for 3 reasons:
1. To Help you guys ministry and reduce the population roaming out there.
2. To keep the wealth within the Nigerian circle and not work for another country’s benefit
3. To raise my kids with Nigerian values and a partner who understands the way things work in Nigeria

If not, who get una time?
Nobody dash monkey banana joor

you sound like a bitter incel

Magnoliaa:
Every day, another story. Another rant. Another heartbreak.

Date women of other races and let us rest.

Next, please.

Please, let them date and marry, Rebecca, Maria and ling ling. We wish them good luck. Let them leave us alone.