₦airaland Forum

dominique:
Your mistake was not having additional means of income especially when you discovered you were having triplets. While your wife was expecting, you should have looked for other means of income to augment your 55k salary. How many people even sit down and relax on their salaried jobs nowadays? I know of so many people who are working in solid companies and earning very high, yet they have side hustles. You're there comfortably relying on 55k job even after realizing you're expecting triplets you still sat on this 55k job, now that the triplets are growing you're still on top this 55k job matter. Obvious you lack ambition and hustling spirit. All that must change. You have to look other sources of income.

he had like 6 months to prepare. It is well.

Altrarecords:
Lmao why are you pretending condoms or birth control pills don't exist anymore? Nawa o

you are pretending condoms dont burst and birth control dont fail.

Elliot2:
If women would take little responsibility for themselves, then this could have been avoided. Simply asking your man to wear rain coat, or taking other preventive measures would have averted this mess op is going through. But no, they won't.

1. carrying those babies to term instead of aborting them.
2. breast feeding them
3. changing thier diapers
4. waiting on thier every want and need.

That's accepting responsibility on her part. Ok?!

coldFLARES1:
Nice comment sir! Problem is that 55k is insufficient to run a home with three fragile babies (nor to talk of the 25k he recently reviewed it to).

He needs to plead for more understanding from his wife while he consciously and urgently works on earning more. Else, the frictions would continue until she make good her threat.

when she makes good on her threat, things will be even worse for him.

No outside woman or grandmother in her right will take care of his 3 pooping, crying responsibilities called babies with that money he is giving his wife. Theu will tell him to come and carry them back or worse still squander the money and maltreat the babies.

Thomthom:
Brother be patient with her... Or increase the money.. To become a man i s not a day job... just be patient pls or look for loan to open provision or food shop for her so that she will always leave the house to also hustle.. This is what I did and am happy. Am a civil servant my take home is nothing to write home about.. I just went to take some loan from bank and workers welfare and open a supermarket for her.. But today even if am not paid she run the home till when I will get paid and I will bring my quota.. upon all this, we still dey quarrel.. so I will advice you to be patient..

3 KIDS at once is a thankless FULL TIME job.

May these children not kill you and your wife before time.

saajus:
You have a family now and you need to carry your cross. Go and learn how to pacify a woman. What you are dropping at home is truly low. You need to know the stress of breastfeeding three kids, postpartum stress, cleaning and stuff. So, if you are not giving her enough money, you need to find a way to be calming her down. All her shouting are due to the accumulation of stress. You need to always rekindle her hope in you. You need to always show the things you are attempting to improve the income of the family.

The deed has been done. You have three wonderful kids. Some people have all the wealth in this world and asking for just one but, the pregnancy is not coming. Keep selling hope to your woman every day and you will see how her attitude will change. Women like hope; won gbebo, dem dey bring am, dem dey bring am.. Show her some business plans that will bring millions, even if the money has not come, she will be so happy that her husband is making moves to change the situation. Don't jinx this for the sake of those three kids.

he's spending 20k on himself and expects the mother and 3 children to share 5k each?

It is well

Op no try at all.

Instead of using pampers, let the mother use cloth nappies, she can save pampers money that way. Use pampers only overnight.

Two breasts is not enough to feed 3 children at once.

If things are not well handled, one or more of the children might die of malnutrition. This is how it starts.

Lomprico2:
so your dick still dey rise despite putting u in d condition you are today?

LoL!!

That's how poverty geta transmitted from generation to generation

Chummynoni:
you bleeped up. you shudnt have settled down when you knew that you were not capable. cos u give woman belle, no mean say u must marry her. leave that woman before she sends you to hell

with triplets?

That's triple bills

aroundtheearth:
Tell her family she's threatening to abandon you with the kids, which is very selfish and irresponsible of her. Idk how the thought could even cross her mind. She needs to get a job or earning some money via a business of some sort. Providing for your family shouldn't be your sole responsibility, especially with 3 kids.

if she gets a job, who will take care of the kids?!

This applies to white girls na!! Awon Karen.

They are the OG of this feminism thing!
OGs of playing the victims and damsel in distress!!

GeneralPula:
How bro?

Is he God?

What if first born nah 4 or 5 or 7 drop?

Each pregnancy is usually stressful for a healthy woman not to talk to a sickle cell patient.

Blood in her bodythat is not enough for her alone, she will now share it with the baby.

Then the crises!! Let's not even go there.

Very risky.


Whether she has 4 or 5 or 7 per pregnancy is not my business, as far as she doesn't carry belle more than twice.

Please make sure she has nothing more than 2 children.

Managing a pregnant sickle cell patient is very cumbersome.

Sarcastic101:
That is how you'd be rejecting guys politely
Until you turn 46yrs old



Then I'd see you at Shiloh
Asking God aggressively to give them back to you

Ok

purples25:
I just stopped laughing.

Something I'm used to happened today. A guy that I had politely refused last year came to me this morning. He immediately told me he has a job now. Told me the full name of the company and everything else. Then he started asking me aggressively about where I have reached in life and all that.

I chatted normally with him, I told him I was happy for him. Later, he asked if he could call me at a certain time. When I told him he could, he started saying that it was not so before, that before, my anthem was that he cannot reach me for various excuses.

I laughed, because, I now understood the whole issue. He believed it was because of money that I didn't allow him access to me anyhow. I just told him that he shouldn't worry because my phone was bad. He continued to reply in a sour tone. The funny thing is that I have no business with his money, because I am sure that none will land in my palm...so why would i be tripping because he got a job?

Another guy I rejected politely acted normal at the time. But after years he came back, asking me with full spite about my marital status and my job. Lol. He told me how he has a company now. I knew that was true because I had seen evidence of it growing and info about it in public over the years. He insisted that we should be dating now. But it couldn't happen because i knew he was just bitter, and thought that i should fall now because he has made it.

Guys, its not all about the money. Some women don't use your money to survive. Some have parents and don't really care to be bound in chains because of indomie and egg, credit, or sharwama. There are more serious issues. E.g the relationship should be going somewhere. Sometimes its tribal or religious, maybe she knows her parents wont accept you. Why would a woman smell what she won't eat, just because of your feelings?

Guys, take a chill pill.

the one thing that stands out is thier sense of entitlement. It never entered their minds that you just aren't attracted to them?

The niggatry of it all!!

This is the main reason why 'nice' guys never get the girls, because they feel that since they are nice, girls deserve to fall at thier feet. This also goes to those 'church going sisters' wondering why they are not married yet.

People can smell insincerity, and it's repulsive.

BadBitch:
For real? LOL.

You said that the oldest rape victim you've seen was about 7yrs and the youngest nine months old, so were they also supposed to dress "appropriately" ?

The Muslim ladies that get raped despite their long flowing garments nko?

You even said it yourself that rape is more about power and wielding it against the person perceived to be weak.
So why would you reward a man with a vagina for basically blaming girls and women for being raped because of their "indecent dressing" ?
I'm utterly shocked by your comment, as someone that seems to be progressive and pro women's rights from observation.

Na real wa.

Bitch please!!

Do not make assumptions about me.

Many people especially men are dismissive of rape due to the bystander effect. If it doesn't affect them or someone they know, they can talk ignorantly about it or it isn't their business.

So me telling him he deserves a vagina is a hypothetical situation that will cancel the impact of the bystander effect on this topic(it is sarcastic). If he has a vagina and is subject to the way some lewd men act, it will greatly color his perspective and change his outlook. I am not praying for him to be raped. Let him be in the shoes of 'the weaker sex'


These victims are in my line of work.


Btw, would you be interested to read more if i talk about this topic?. I plan to discuss it on nairaland.

chatinent:
Learn to read to understand, not reading to comment.

follow your own advice.

We know you are a rape apologist retracing his steps.

TonyeBarcanista:
The pregnancy is a consequence of your own selfish desire and cheating ways. I'll advice you to accept your reality and start making provisions to take care of the unborn child ALONE.

In all fairness, the gentleman neither promised you marriage nor ever discuss having kids with you. While he is obligated to care for the unborn child, he is under no obligation to get married to you.

You got served my sister...

true.

But it takes two to tango. So let her abort it.

Temmy3256:
Please I seriously need help nairalanders. So I met this guy (ola) January 6th, 2021.I saw he's my spec despite the fact that I have a boyfriend (in a long distant relationship though). Ola and I exchanged numbers and we started talking as friends. He asked if I'm in a relationship and I told him yes, but he made it clear he likes me even with the fact that I have a bf. Fast forward till middle January, I visited him (ola) at his place in Lagos though I stay in Lagos too and my bf leaves in Abuja. He asked me to pack for the weekend, so I spent roughly 3days. We had sex on my first visit to his place, told me everything I needed to know about him but I never told him any crucial stuffs about me cause I felt it was too early. Fast forward to February 2021, ola kept inviting me over to spend my weekend with him and I never for once objected the offer even if it's not convenient for me, I'll always find my way down from the island to the mainland virtually every weekend because I love him and likes his person. The love I have for my boyfriend has reduced drastically cause of his attitude though. So I went to ola's house, I discovered I'm not the only one he sleeps with, he smokes, places priority on himself alone/first before considering me, this guy will promise to send me my Tfare after leaving his place but I'll never receive any dime from him(I'm only being considerate here cause he's a business man and he has other bills he needed to settle) lemme just say he's very stingy. I confronted him to know if he has someone else, at that point he had to ask if he's the only one I sleep with, don't I have a bf, of which I told him he's been the only one and that's the fact. Well, thereafter he begged me he was sorry for asking such a question and I forgave him and had sex. The last sex we had resulted into pregnancy cause I was so worried my period didn't show up when it should come, so being weekend had to come to his place but got pregnancy test kit with me, in his presence I checked with this kit and got a positive result. I'm 25years old and he's 33years old, after seeing the result he told me he's sure I'm not ready for this, told me how my parents and aunties will be so disappointed in me, so to cut the long story short he said he'll help get abortion pills to flush the blood out cause is still very fresh. This is a guy I sacrifice my time for, would cook all his meal for a whole month, I don't disturb or call him for money, I don't argue or fight with him. Well, my question is should I take the abortion pill or I should tell him I'm not aborting so he should man up and take up responsibility. I don't mind quitting my job to avoid shame

Go and see a proper professional and remove it.

Roseey0:
I know you think your wife's abortion is the reason she is finding it hard to conceive.
But it is not.
She did conceive before.

I will advice to seek the face of God.
If you don't address these spiritually, even the surrogacy won't work. Even a second virgin wife will still not work

let me not lie.

Unless op was a virgin before marriage.

The infertility may also be male factor.

IntentionTremor:
I make bold to say NO WOMAN HAS ABORTED FOR ME.
Surrogacy in my case also needs an egg donor plus the surrogate mom! Thinking about it gets me so angry.
While dating I always stated I wanted CHILDREN early that's why I was getting married early.... I was less than 30 when we even married cause of how much I wanted to have the kids early! Alas!

No woman has abortted for you?

Are you sure you are not firing blank shots? Especially as you have never gotten a woman pregnant before?


While I don't understand, i empathize. This is enough to drive one to despair.

What do you want?

How can you sire a progeny in a way that will save your marriage.

Introspection and deep communication with your wife is needed here. Empty your feelings.


This too shall pass. You will get through it victorious

mmadu4:
anywhere from 5 to 14

so you are a paedophile?!

mmadu4:
young pussssy are always the best. but rape is a no no for me .

Define young!

Awesomeking:
The first and only Rape victim I know personally was raped wearing niqaab and hijab,the rapists tore her big skirt with knife.....it's not about the way the female dresses,it's about the way the man thinks and behaves,I have never seen a rape case that is the woman's fault, please delete this.

most of the rape victims i see are children below 10. The youngest was 9months old and the oldest was seven.

All were raped by either a relative or neighbor.

Catfishing:
lemme ask you, is it that only gals gets rape or it's both gender? And why do gals rape young boys?

Both genders.

The same reason men rape girls. POWER!!

Its simply the need for them to exert dominance on the opposite sex through the act.

saphiere:
Meaning all Nigerian men are potential rapists.

All Nigerian men are potential rapists, just like all nigerian women are capable of paternity fraud.

It's all about mental state and circumstances

Jeromejnr:
So also, when you around potential rapists on the streets you dress Accordingly.

you deserve to have a vagina for a month for this statement

BLOODYSPERM:
What nonsense, don't you know men have 13 times testerones the primary hormone for sexual drive than women and you dear compare men and women

I am strongly against rape regardless the parpetrator whether male or female
Death penalty for rapist and false rape accusers

What rubbish

Testosterone is not an excuse.

Watch the testosterone drive go down real quick when a rape victim tells a rapist that she is HIV positive.

chatinent:
Amen..to everyone only who knows how to dress in feminine modesty, respect and cover their bodies..that's only when pervs and rapists would learn to look for better jobs.


The guy should be electrocuted without trial.

This statement shows how dumb and ignorant you are.

Hope you know that babies, children, old women, mentally challenged women, disabled women, women in hijabs and spirit koko sisters also get raped .

The guy should be tried and institutionalised.

Badbitch

BadRadio:
I dont need any motherf*cker to take care of me when I am old...

really?!

I don't think you live in Nigeria

Back then as a student, i took a 3k loan from the app Carbon by one finance and my phone was stolen the day after.

I didn't get an android phone until a year later.

One day i needed money to pay for school stuff, union bank was messing up big time and was telling me about a loan. Saying that they weere ready to give me.
They later said that I couldn't access the loan because my credit score was poor and had a warning that I was a debtor. I could not for the life of me remember taking a loan from anybody and defaulting. The banker finally helped me out and asked if had used loan from all these apps

The painful thing was that ONE finance didn't have A PHYSICAL ADDRESS. No matter how hard I searched
So I had to reinstall carbon to call thier customer care who later said that there was nothing on my record.


Since then, i vowed never to patronize loan apps no matter how desperate i was.

Any app that doesn't tell you thier parent company's physical address is shady, that is all of them.


Another story was of a friend of mine who likes using these apps, borrowed like 18k, they called him to remind him to pay and his repayment amount was 33k or so, it was ridiculously steep. He told them he won't pay the full amount because of the high interest rate and negotiated a price with them. He paid them the said amount. Only for them to deduct the original repayment amount again on his account. i.e he was debited twice.

The guy that called him about the loan posted him for 3 months. He had to threaten legal action and some other things before he got the money back.

LOAN APPS ARE NOT WORTH IT, HE WHO GOES A BORROWING GOES A SORROWING

nonut:
You're rich, and yet you braid your hair with roadside hairdressers.
Big salon hairdressers no sabi?

It's better and cheaper to braid in roadside salons.

For fixing weave-ins and wigs, especially a pixie cut style, washing, relaxing, treatment and trimming of my split ends, I'll rather go to a big salon.