₦airaland Forum

When you go into marriage by your standards and not by the standards of the God who made marriage, then it will be a problem for you and not worth it. But I believe God who said it is not good for a man to be alone and He made man a help suitable for that man. If your marriage is built on the foundation of God's word, it will be heaven. There will be challenges no doubt, but you will surely overcome.

Your current relationship is just a bounce back. You shouldn't have gone into another relationship after that one for at least a year or even more. Was sex involved? If it was, then you need more time alone before any other relationship.

Street!

One of the major problem we have in this country is oil marketers and their greed.

Lol... NDLEA is mad o ... Na small work Dem give you, you con carry am for your head like this? But it's the right thing to do in a sane society. I hope they will comply because it's not in the constitution that they must be subjected to this since no be Olympics...

I used to think so too, but I took drugs with cold water yesterday night and it worked... I know cos I'm better now. I didn't want to but I was too weak to get another water from the kitchen and d fridge was so close to me. So ..

You are not serious.

So why the post? Who cares? Die if you want, live of you want. Your life, your choice. When the bill also comes, pay up k.

Well, you've done the first step which is to open up, but you're still in secret. You need to be mentored and monitored. Addiction loses it's power when you expose them.

While it's ok you have come here on this platform, you need something better. Look for a man around you, responsible, and a leader. If the man is a Christian and believes in godly principles, then better. Submit to such man and tell him all these. Let him be your shepherd for now. If you're a Christian, prayerfully select this man because they are very hard to find. This will solve 50 percent of this problem I can guarantee you.

You missed the highest paying job...NLNG

Think... Think it through. So when you start your so called relationship with him, where does it lead? You have sex with him, which might actually be very boring and unenjoyable and then you start feeling guilty... You ruin your home, his home, your children, his children, the church, and incur the wrath of God, of people when you get caught... He marries you and you guys find it hard to feed and then fresh problems you never anticipated begin in that marriage and you begin to wonder what made you make the greatest mistake of your life?

Stop being a baby. You can think for yourself. You like him because you don't live with him. You don't know him. For a man to be close to a woman who is not his wife, sister when you marry him, just know that he will be close to another woman too. Hope you will tolerate that when the tables are turned. It should show you the kind of man he is. No good man who loves and respect his wife will ever allow that kind of relationship with another woman. You think your husband hasn't had the opportunity to be close to other women? Strong men will resist that. He may be fine, spiritual, rich and a smooth talker, caring, funny and probably sexy until you start living with him. I'm sure you felt this way about your husband some years ago.

Don't be selfish, greedy and ungrateful. Don't be foolish too. Resist the devil. Stop calling him or responding to his messages. Talk to your husband about it. Change church if necessary and don't allow this fire engulf you. You have stopped studying your Bible, that's why lust is appealing to you. Don't be a church goer alone, have a real, functional and progressive relationship with Jesus. I hope you read this and things become better.

My problem with Tinubu is his health.... Yes, he has the pedigree, but does he have the health? If not, Peter Obi all the way

Please give us a good and honest review after a month sir. I'll like to join you soon

Bros, you have ruined your life o, by having sex with her for 3 years. Where you wan take start from with your new wife to be? Won't you keep comparing them? You must and will. I see you going back to her for sex even on your wedding day... Even after you marry sef. Make we bet? You don cast o

There's a point where the urge might come, but it won't remain to the point where it becomes a distraction. If it's becoming a distraction, then it means you are feeding it or you're being fed by something... That's called lust.

See...Jas 1:14 KJV But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.
Jas 1:14 EasyEnglish It is our own thoughts that tempt us sometimes. And then we want to do wrong things. We want what is bad. And that causes us to do wrong things.

When you feed your thoughts right, you won't bear the fruit of sin. It's called GIGO (Garbage in, garbage out).
So these are my questions?

Are you genuinely bornagain? Do you love Jesus? If Yes, then how is your prayer life? Not prayer time o, but prayer life? Do you study the word of God for your life? Do you seek to improve daily and have a closer walk with Jesus? Is your study genuine and meaningful that brings you to brokenness before God daily? Do you have godly friends and ministers whom you report to? Are you a disciple?

Plenty questions right... . But those are the realities in the fight to stay pure. Our generation is immorality filled and you must be ready for a fight to stay pure. If you are spending too much time on social media, movies or things to pass time which doesn't enhance your walk with God, please reduce that time. Also, is there a man or guy you are lusting after by reason of you people being close? Please stay away. And please, if you need to finalize your divorce quickly, maybe you do even if i don't subscribe to divorce. I'm sure you have your reasons.

Go and pray and then beg her. When i mean pray, i mean lie before God and beg him and ask him to help you. I know you said all nice things about yourself which i want to believe, but you can't give what you don't have. What isn't in you won't come out even if pressured, so i sense you have some kind of resentment towards her and that's what happened. I know your mum did wrong and maybe it was her fault, but your mom isn't the problem here. Your reaction is.

You will be married someday and your wife will surely do things to you that will annoy you. So if you don't learn to deal with this now, you will get into serious problem in future. Next time, try to walk away. But don't take it lightly what has happened. Something is in you that reacts under enormous pressure. You need to deal with that because you don't know where you will find yourself in future.

Brotherly, you sef what are you doing with a 25 year old at 35? Marry your age Bro. You should be looking for someone in her late twenties or early 30s. Who will marry those people now that you are chasing after your niece, Ehn Uncle?

Why put a panic button in the open? Can't it be hidden for both the driver and the passenger?

Let Fashola return to the ministry of power.
Let's stop sentiments and place capable people where they can function.

1) Buy in bulk. A bag of Rice is btwn 22,000 and 26,000. Buy Yam, garri, beans and spaghetti, indomie. At least the staples. From what you give her, i believe you can afford to. Don't forget Vegetable oil and Red oil, 30 litres can suffice. This can last you for three months if not more.

2) You need beverages. Milo, Milk, sugar, butter etc.

3) Budget for filling of gas, 12.5kg @ 7,500. Can take you a month or more. Have a 3kg reserve.

4) Budget 7,000 for soup and stew every week.
4,000 for beef/chicken and the remaining for pepper, tomato and ingredients.

5) Be involved in the kitchen matters. Not by lording it over her, but visit the kitchen from time to time. See what's happening, play with her there. Jokingly call her attention to any waste and if anything is about to be finished. You'll finally be able to know what's obtainable in the market.

6) The truth is, the market is not smiling. Went with my wife to market with 30,000. What we came back with was a bagco bag and half. It's ridiculous out there bro. So just get involved, to avoid complaining, so you will see how she's using the money and maybe you'll appreciate her more or she'll learn to manage more.

Leave Fashola as Minister of Power, you say no. It must be a Northerner. Now see.

So you thought I won't come to Nairaland and see you abi? Shaybe I warned you that no chatting or online activity? I will catch you at home. Don't worry. Mid teen mean you are now the savior of the world abi? You don't know what I'm trying to do for you? You will see. Prepare to go and live in the village... Nonsense. Let me reach house, you will see

Oga, are you ok? What advice do you want? Pls marry her ok. Ruin your life please. Mtchew

Let the games begin. Now I can start campaigning for you sir. If you get the ticket, fine. If not, you did your best. If Tinubu wins the ticket, fine. Let the best man win. I just hope it's you so we can move away from the usual Nigeria.

This is cultism in the air o. This negates the free market idea and puts customers at risk with pricing. Another NATO forming under our noses . Someone needs to invade this Alliance... DANA?

Talking about divorce this early is a bad sign. Newly Weds are actually very fund of it. Every small thing, divorce. I've gone through that phase too. Notwithstanding, you have a valid concern. Finance is a big issue in marriage and accountability is vital. You need to talk to him about it first and see how he reacts to it. I don't know if you have tried to.

If he truly has this addiction, then he will need professional help. He has to be willing to submit himself and finance to someone and there's no better person than you. You guys need to come up with a system that works for you both. I hope you are accountable to him too. The finance of the house can't be a 'my own money's thing but what God has blessed the house with.

I was so possessive of my own finance and my wife had this same issue with me. We had to come up with a plan for us that works and she's in charge of sending funds while I say where and when and how funds should be dispatched, but we make plans and budgets together. I hope this helps.

Everyone will be legit scared of NDLEA and drug use now. If they can arrest Kyari, who are the street urchins that they won't arrest?

I have watched policemen walk past agbero boys smoking hemp in broad daylight without doing anything. Them boys weren't even scared. And these policemen were in their patrol �. I was shocked. I'm glad someone is doing their job. Nevertheless, the law must be enforced by the law. No rascality. But what do you say and do when dealing with rascals?

One question.

Have you slept with him? Ever?

My first reply is Why Nairaland? You will receive a lot of stick from lots of people here who may not understand and they my say things that will make it worse. Where you are is a very serious place and you don't need abuses. I guess you had to come here out of the frustration. Nevertheless, it is well sis.

Secondly, you said you are very religious. I take that as being Christian (I hope). If truly you guys are, then your husband has a pastor and you do too. I want to believe you guys attend a church in Canada there. If so, is it possible to raise this matter with the pastor? It may sound a better option than here.

Thirdly, your husband is in a real mess. He's a sex addict and sadly, it doesn't seem to be you anymore. Yes, the distance played a part in it. He went to Canada, and I don't think it might be that godly. Imagine the change in culture, the cold. Who was supposed to keep him warm at nights? When he started seeing girls almost naked, how did you think he was going to cope? And there he was in a nation where it's so easy to get laid... We watch porn in Naija without ever imagining we would meet any of these ladies but he was actually watching it where he would be able to meet them and so, he fell hard. And like all addiction, his brain is messed up and trained to respond to this, so no matter how much he begs you each time he gets caught, the brain pushes him back to it and devices a means to not be caught. I know this because I have also been hooked to an addiction. It's a real problem which can not be solved physically alone. It must be solved first spiritually, mentally and physically. Spiritually because he needs God's help and he must be willing to get this help. Mentally because his brain must be retrained and then physically because he needs to physically disconnect from these prostitutes and porn apps and sites and connect more with you.

Now, are you willing to be there for him to connect to after all he has done to you? Will you be an ear to listen to him, a shoulder to cry on and a voice of encouragement? Or will you continue to resent him and be bitter at him for how much he has broken your heart and marriage? It's hard but are you willing to fight for your husband and marriage and forgive him? Are you willing to hand over your life to Jesus and ask him for help? You will have saved your marriage and helped your daughters life if she has a father standing because her mum refused to let go. Things may be bad, but not beyond Jesus. You need to heal and He can help you with that. It's not a matter of being religious. It's a matter of knowing Jesus.

I hope you get to read this and make a better decision. God bless you ma'am.

Ready to go to any length for Osinbajo. He is the best man for this Job. Let's not keep recycling thugs, old cargoes and godfathers pls. Nigeria needs to be better. No sentiments pls.

My brother, I just married recently and I can tell you that finance is a very big matter in marriage. No doubt, it is the responsibility of the man to cater for the family but the woman must be willing to support in every way. Any woman not ready to release her money or having the mentality that my money is my money and your money is our money is not fit for marriage. Pls don't even think about it because even of you have millions now, things can quickly change o. You might be down in no time and you will need your wife to support you. If she can't cover you, then you are in trouble. You can just kill yourself or somebody. Also, there is a better way of doing things. Your approach is not bad, but it shouldn't be too rigid. Allow for flexibility. When there are laws, there will be sin and quarrels. I prefer trust and understanding to strict rigid laws. You guys can still get back together and talk it out because that's needed. Ask people who are married and have OK marriages for advice but know that no two homes are the same. You must find out what works for you guys. In the end, as important as money is, your happiness and your wife's happiness is much important.

Go and get your PVC. Stop being foolish.