₦airaland Forum

Thanks for pointing that out. My mum tells me to hire maids, cooks and nannies if I can afford them when i get married that it relieves homes as the whites who adopts it as a norm aren't stupid and that her mum's marriage was stressful but some men see it has humility and sacrifice of their mothers instead of aspiring to improve to offer something better to their wives.

elektra:
What is more baffling is how some men like yourself like to point to the back breaking work their own mothers had to endure.
Imagine your own mother working for 14 hours and still coming home to pound akpu.
Is this something to brag about?
Can you yourself work those same hours outside and still come home to do all that your mother did? Can you do it?
Shouldn’t it inspire you to change the system so that your daughters don’t have the run the home all by themselves?

I hope your name is in Who is Who in the world of...... and if it is googled, there's something that inspires the world about your existence, if not stay humble bro.

Samshumy:
My name is Emmanuel. A real man who has everything. Sexy, built, rich, handsome, intelligent mechanical engineer. That’s who i am

Ok. I thought you'll prove that with biblical references though.

Samshumy:
I mean women have been doing chores alone since the days of Adam

You said it had been like that since the days of Adam with no quote to support your claim. I assume you should know the word since you mentioned the Bible. I can't explain to you as you have your mentality already.

Samshumy:
Didn’t know about Deborah’s case, maybe you can explain very well

I hope it isn't with a selfish motive if it's truly great as you claim.

Samshumy:
Yes of course I will. I’m presently doing something great for my girl friend.

You lie Bro. Deborah was a judge, how was she able to do that if Lapidoth didn't support her. The Bible is summarised, don't lie if can't quote explicit examples.

Samshumy:
That’s how it has been since the days of adam

That's the only value a wife can add to you. I'm amazed. Will your type ever nurture your wife to maximise her potential and be like Alakija, Ibukun Awosika, Dora Akunyili of blessed memory, etc?

Samshumy:
She’s my wife to do household chores and take care of kids. It has to be done and i don’t care how

They open new monikers to hide their identity so that you can't refer to their previous posts when it happens.

Jen92:
Make sure you marry someone with same mentality with you!!! We dont want to see your post after a few years!!! Clearly Op noticed these character in her man yet she chose to marry.

Pardon my curiosity but why is she your wife?

Samshumy:
If needed in some cases. I’m a man and there are some things i can’t do for a wife

Wow but she's suppose to share bills with you.

Samshumy:
Well to me, a man is not supposed to do all those things. If the chores are too much, the wife can get a maid

Why can't he assist where necessary as doing chores together can also be a bonding time as they'll work together as a team, joke and play. It doesn't have to happen all the time but those few times can be memorable and a goal achieved. Some Nigerian men make marriages boring and too serious because of their ego thereby making most singles believe marriage is primarily about ENDURING and not ENJOYMENT. They believe as long as they provide, her needs have been met, what about her emotional needs as well as others. I have an uncle whose wife use to cry all the time he's around because of his derogatory remarks. She now has low self esteem because he abuses her emotionally. What then is the love the OP's hubby professes for her?
On a second thought, the signs may have been there during courtship but the euphoria of being a married woman would have made you ignore the red flags. Thanks for sharing your experience as it's an eye opener for the singles anticipating marriage to read meaning into every words and actions of their spouse even if it's said or done jokingly as that may be who they really are.

Samshumy:
If he starts doing chores now, anytime he stops, the wife would nag. So it’s better he doesn’t do any chores apart from his clothes alone

How you expect a married man to be doing household chores is what i don’t understand. This is Nigeria and not America or Canada

Not everyone as some see vision of their career, businesses.....

Babanlagenius:
Choi! If you had included this I wouldn't have commented.

Girls will always be girls. When they clock 26 the only vision they see is marriage.

lilyheaven:
It's a pity, she has borrowed money already.
I believe the young girl is flexing the money somewhere.

Lol

lilyheaven:
It's a pity, she has borrowed money already.
I believe the young girl is flexing the money somewhere.

Dear OP, the total expenditure on clearance has never been up to N200,000. She may have inflated the sum of what she's likely to incur. Clearance ought to be a free exercise but she must ensure that all outstanding been paid. Let them put pressure on her to be honest as it may likely be her last time to collect pocket money hence the bogus sum.

Okay

goldimx:
Yh u may, bt u r nt

I guessed but I may be wrong.

goldimx:
Hw do u knw its a 'sir'?
Bt i knw u ar a 'ma'

You're welcome Sir.

goldimx:
Waw... thnks
Appreciate it

That's a longer route. Take a bus from CMS, drop at Bonny Camp, enter a Keke and tell them the name of the hotel. It's easier that way. You charter if need be so that you'll be dropped right in front of the hotel. @goldimx

AbdulhafizBajeh:
Simply take a vehicle from CMS going to eko hotel roundabout, then get a bike or keke from there, fixing them the address description. For a keke, it shouldn't exceed #100.

They still abound sir.

tosyne2much:
This kind topic go sweet gan just that it will break the bones of most ladies

Virgin ladies don enter extinction for 9ja so this discussion will only be a meaningless one

Scent Leaf, Ntung in Ibibio, Efirin in Yoruba.

Thanks but I couldn't navigate the site that's why I put the question here.

BlueRayDick:
Check the school website for requirement for that particular course

This is why some aged couple put pressure on their young daughters to get married on time because they want to see their grandchildren. You may not mind training your kids in your later years but your wife may put pressure if it's a girl child for her settle down early. I saw it happen to a friend's roommate back in school as she's currently in South Africa with her hubby, she was under pressure by her aged mum who was in her 60s to settle down so that she'll see her grandchildren. I hope she's enjoying her home.

Goddys:
I'm very mature in all aspects but never getting married till I clock 40. There is no happiness in early marriage. Trust me. If you are wise, you will decipher this. If I'm 60 yr old and my child is 15 yr old, it changes nothing so long I have the resources to see him through life.

Its not about how early you start. Dnt be deceived by emotions. Apply reason

Happy Sunday, please my fiance has a degree in psychology (2:2) and wants to do m.sc in Security and Intelligence studies. He finished from Madonna University, does he need to do a post graduate diploma?

Kindly mail me at hadediong@gmail.com

mnwoke:
Please where do I get my candidate number I don't understand what you guys are talking about please help

Dear OP, I'll speak from first hand experience of a relative of mine. She was under pressure to settle down since she was in her 30s, she settled with a guy she met in one of her social groups (all those southern meeting groups). She was independent prior to the marriage and has been the bread winner since they got married upon empowering the man to support him so that he can play his role but unfortunately my guy doesn't support materially in the running of the house not even house rent, he refuses to be serious in his transport business but carries himself with pride as a 'big man'. I presume she put pressure on him to marry her to save her face from prolonged singleness. My relation is unhappy as her only source of joy in the marriage is her child. She hasn't experienced growth of any kind but rather retrogression as her building project prior to the marriage has been stalled with no hope of completion. The man is ambitious in words but no action to bring it to fruition.
As your sister has started supporting him, it'll continue that way and he may end up having an entitlement mentality to her money even when they get married. Find out if she's the one pushing for the marriage with the hope that things will get better and advice her appropriately. Those telling you to leave her will not be there when she calls you repeatedly in future to solicit for funds for her home when she would have had a rethink now. There is an age a guy gets to even if he isn't wealthy, he must have attained a level of success of which I know the term success is relative but love is never enough mbok.
I used to look up to this relation of mine when I was much younger but now I pity her each day as I see no hope of redemption of the man and I swore that my man even if he has little for a start and he's ambitious, there must be an underlying framework he has and works with in bringing his vision to reality and I'll support him. Sorry for my long epistle but I'm pained.

She probably forgot Sir.

DanDeeBoss:
In that case, it's understandable, but Op said she moves around to get stuffs, what do you make of that??

Dear OP, do you mean that buying of pad reduces your value as a man? She ran out of pad which can happen to anyone lady as she didn't get stained in your place for failure to be conscious of her menstrual cycle. What if her period was the type that confines her to a single spot and unfortunately, it was at your place, you'll watch her struggle in pains and not reach out? I'm sure you'll also be a dad a lovely daughter in future, what if you're the only adult around her when she menstruates for the first time. Will you wait for your wife to return or you'll do the needful. I'll assume you never helped your sisters get it that's if you have. Concerning her threat, you both understand each other. I can remember running out of pad at my fiance's place and I wasn't familiar with the environment, he had to look for it for me on a Sunday morning so that we could leave for church. I hope I wouldn't be accused of being emotional about the issue being female.

Skengman:
I’m in a serious fix. My babe came to my house and she ran out of pad, now she wants me to go buy some for her. I just can’t imagine myself going for pad shopping. Never done it before. I refused, and I asked to drive her down to the shop to get it herself. I mean she ought to have known before now that she was running out, and made plans.
She thinks I’m making lame excuses and I feel this might be the end of our relationship. Men in the house, pls advise.

I've been waiting for today's devotional but seeing this, I hope you're not lying. I've been using his works (ODM & WAH) since 2006 and I know how that his books are attributable to my spiritual growth as a Christian. I like his manner of carrying out his kingdom exploits as he is not someone that always wants to be in the news or having his books with his picture thereby making people more focused on the kingdom than his personality.
What is your proof Madam?

Dear OP, you made mention of your spirit leading you. My question to you is how do you hear from God? God speaks to His children in so many ways therefore do you hear from Him?
If you can answer sincerely, you wouldn't even put the question on a public forum. If it's truly the spirit, he'll open your eyes to things that makes her desirable to you beyond her looks and whereas your mind is elsewhere hence the confusion. God is not an author of confusion.

I've heard you.

Egemeole:
Esthered what goes around comes around most of those girls after extorting the boys, at their late twenties and late thirties when they are finding it difficult to marry they will also fall their own mugu, they will giving material things to men so that they will love them and marry them. I tell you because of these most men have focused attention on dating ladies @ their early thirties and late twenties. And many of these ladies end up been scamed at last of a recent though it was last year 2018 I heard about a lady who always saved her monthly salaries at her boy friends hand, that her Boyfriend left her in Lagos and secretly married in his village, only for the boy to come back to Lagos with his new wife. But matter was made public when the girl was asking back for all her money finally the boy agreed that he will pay back the money but he will be paying it small small. Do you see what goes around comes around.