₦airaland Forum

OP, please modify your heading to read ENTIRE PORT HARCOURT METROPOLIS

OP, I took time to flip through some of your previous posts and I can deduce that:
(1) You have not been so lucky with relationships
(2) You seem to be married for at most 7 or 8 years

Now from your post above, you said you are a family of 6, meaning you have 4 kids.

Based on the above, it is safe to say you settled for the lowest hanging fruit for a husband and the foundation of your marriage was faulty from the start. I say this to disabuse your mind and the minds of so many young folks that Nigerian men are generally like the way you described your husband. Now we only heard from you. I'm sure if your husband give his side of the story, we would see a different picture. That is normal.

Next is that both of you did not (1) quite know yourselves, (2) didn't go through a marriage counseling class, (3) did not discuss in details things like the standard of living, number of kids you both intend to have and how to run the finances of the home etc. The lack of this gave rise to you having 4 kids within 8 years of marriage with inadequate finances to cater for and run the home. This can easily lead to high BP for you, in a bid to try your best to keep things afloat.

Your type may not be the talking type but wen una open mouth, una fit reduce a man to chaff , and of course that is the last thing a man would expect from his wife. This is taking sides with your husband oh! Just being objective here.

Way forward?

Option 1. You both need to sit down and discuss budget to run the home and family planning. You also need to save part of your income and take care of yourself (At least try and look good without being expensive, since he is giving you any money for upkeep). I would not subscribe to you hiding anything from him. If what you are saving is 10% and another 20% for yourself, tell him what is available henceforth is 60% (after you pay your tithe).

He might get upset and would want to hit back at you or blow his top.

Option 2 : If this is the case, please call the attention of your parents. I say this, since they have once intervened

Be prayerful and ask God to intervene in the affairs of your home. Ask Him to correct every faulty foundation of your home.

Cheers and wish you the very best.

RIP

Discuss with him and work out something more comfortable for both of you. I guess you may be equally stressed up with house chores added to his demands. In that case you can get a househelp to assist. The aim is for you to have adequate rest.

On the flip side, you can spice things up by playing board games, watching TV or films together and engaging in constructive discussions. By the time you do all these, you both not only increase the bonding, a chunk of the usual sex time would have been channeled into doing some other meaningful stuffs.

At the end, you'd love sex the more.

Millenniumlady:
I can't give my boyfriend my own money not to talk of borrow from somewhere to give him.......Mission impossible

This is serious. But can you give a friend money? Just asking please

This press release looks fake. English is poorly crafted.

keandre:
Stop causing panic, nobody can do anything with your account by just having ur account number, phone number, email. We have a lot plaguing us already, don't add to it.

Nobody is causing panic. Simply calm down and think through, except maybe you're a banker. I'm not one. I know that email link to an account do receive sensitive bank information related to that account. So you can't just rule out the possibility that a scammer won't be able to access or hack into an account. I saw where someone either on the first page or second, posted where an account was debited immediately he filled the form. So how was that possible?

WarriAproko:
the scammer and Sammie nor go fit do anything. except u add your atm details. only account name and account number how him wan take do am

They can access or hack into the account number you filled, if the email and or the phone no you gave out is linked to the account. These are the important. Cause if they can access that email, they can retrieve your bank details like pin and ATM information period.

The rest requirements on e form is just to populate the page and make it look real.

Hmmmm have you contacted family members? I believe you still have options.

This is poor pre-engineering design survey, poor design studies and poor engineering construction. It's not a sinkhole. Probably built against a natural drainage or erosion prone area which a good survey would have help established.

TroubleMaker47:
If PENGASSON shuts down, who do you think would be affected most between Wike and FG?

The FG will lose of course in revenues but that's when they will turn the heat on Wike and I can bet you, he won't survive. On the long run the state may pay for those loses by having its allocation deducted at source. The chain reaction will have the gov holding the shorter end (if any) of the stick.

It's all about tact and diplomacy.

I laugh in Spanish. Were are all those that were hailing him? How market?

No doubt I commend his efforts so far however he shows unnecessary power play. He can be too emotional and lacks finesse in matters that requires tact and diplomacy. He could have handled the situation differently and gained public applaud worthy of emulation by other states govt.

Now he just ridiculed himself on a matter, he was 100% correct. What stops him from working with DPR, IOCs , Helicopter operators and state health officials to develop procedures for all offshore personnel transiting the state this period? States like Delta, Edo, Akwa Ibom and Bayelsa would have copied it.

Funny thread, all just to drag the church. Meanwhile, all the toxic and sarcastic comments na on top the 2k tithe wey d Bros dey reason to pay.

Until one has a deep understanding and close relationship with God, one will continue to debate the subject of tithing. If you don't have a heart of love and appreciation you can't give.

All that we need to succeed in life is written in the Bible. The Bible encourages us to (1) pay our tithes (2) give our offerings (3) give to the needy amongst us (4) take care and support our parents (5) save for the raining day. The book of Proverbs used the ants to illustrate how we should save (6) to be hardworking and diligent (7) take good care of ourselves ( PLAN!!! Jesus emphasized this in Matthew, when whether it was possible to start putting up a building without counting the cost (9) to be business minded and grow materially - the parade of the talents comes to mind. Etc etc etc

So when one earns money from the above, you should know where the money goes. The benefits surrounding giving is universal. In God's perspective each type attracts a different kind of blessing. Have a wonderful Sunday.

I know stories like this happens. However, please walk away from that lady and forget about her. You screwed up. Yes! But she knows and saw that lack of focus in you and took undue advantage of your inexperienced/nativity.

At 25, you should think of building yourself up financially instead of wasting all that time with a lady that doesn't give a hoot about you. Lastly, you need to up your game in the area of emotional intelligence.

Remember, you can never end well if you continue with her. Go and make money and grow some balls. Cheers!

Liamm:
what's the rent like in asokoro? Self con precisely

SMH, Nothing wey person no go see CORVID-19 and lockdown.

I don't seem to understand why the OP chose to disgrace PH with those poverty stricken pictures . The Port Harcourt that I know has far more beautiful scenery that the nation can be proud of as one of the top 5 cities in Nigeria.

I shed tears in the epistle where he was told Shola was dead! I was broken.

So much to glean from OP story especially our young folks. It tells us the need to do first things first; building ourselves academically/intellectually, economically, psychologically and emotionally strong, getting our focus right, before delving into relationships. At this time one is better equipped to deal the "aches and pains" that comes with it.

OP, God bless you for sharing this story and I pray He will continue to lift you up and cause you to fulfill your heart desires in life. RIP to Shola and special regards to the kids. They will never be forsaken in life. God bless you all.

scantee:
Op your just quoting figures, most figures you put up there are totally wrong, though you will be made to understand you can earn such figure, but truth is eventually it will be far below the figure and you can't do anything about it.

Though if you know your way you can easily make double of that figure annually especially if you work with JVC team

We have been there and decided to pull out.

Talking as an insider.

This guy and Throwback are some of the guys that made sense with their comments.

Most of the comments here just endangers the lives the employees in these oil companies. Imagine someone even saying the MD of one IOC reside in his estate bla bla bla. That's a serious security breach.

It's for this reason that all these coys give their employees serious orientation on how they live their lives (low key preferably) and even discourage them from bringing their relatives to stay with them (because of kidnapping. Investigations have shown that employees who have had incidences of kidnapping were traced to very close relatives that were living with them.)

Make every man hustle and pray to God to bless their hustle and divine favours.

Have a happy Palm Sunday.

You need both. Bible says husbands love your wife and love entails so much. That means you're willing to give anything bla bla bla. Then you need that friendship to relate in your day to day life. That's what keep you going even in later years.

RisenPhoenix:
There is a huge advantage to polygamy, but only if a man is mature and emotionally balanced; and is able and willing to take care of all his wives. Only then can the following benefits be reaped...
For women:

1. It helps take care of women in society. If everybody who is able to do so marries many women, there will not be any single women running wild, lining up for 'special prayer', competing for husbands and becoming baby mamas. Even widows and divorcees will find husbands (if they have good characters).

2. It promotes harmony in the house; the strength and maturity of the man is key.

3. Women have more peace of mind. They know who their 'rivals' are, and if they suppress their innate desire for troublemaking, can even make friends.

4. Women rest more. The burden of running the homes is lighter when shared by more than one woman. When one wife does not feel like cooking, or having sex etc, the other(s) can step up. Child caring etc can also be rotated.

For men:

1. They have more peace at home. A woman should never feel she is the only sugar in her man's tea because she will inevitably misbehave.

2. He need not have extra marital affairs with all its attendant problems. Anytime he meets a woman that he likes, he either marries her or keeps his hands off. Having an assortment of women in the house will make him not even want to look outside (remember I made his maturity a condition from the beginning).

Women don't like it only because it takes away their power to dominate their husband.

Weak men don't like it only because women say it is not good and they want to look like nice men to those women.

Wonderful! All these in these present times? I doubt it. It is pure suicide. You are practically entering "the express road"

NaijaMutant:
They should be shot on sight

Haba Hanty!

Okay shoot (not to kill oh) at sight with tranquilizer

Go for deliverance ASAP

OP bringing up children is a very serious business, infact a 20unit course. This is not the time of our fathers/mothers. Times have changed. It's demanding in every aspect including "pocketwise" Even Dangote and Bill Gates no get four children.

However, you and your fiancee can come to a compromise.

In as much as I want to believe this story, I think coming out to NL is just too soon - 2 weeks after he lost his lovely wife. So I ask; what happened to his immediate family, friends and his church. Yes, he must belong to a church.

These category of groups should be able to sustain these babies (no matter how bad) for at least one to two years, assuming he has no job.

I'm trying to choose my words carefully though, but it's somewhat irresponsible of him to expose these babies like this. E never reach that level. Cause someone might be tempted to ask, " so young man what have you done or be doing"

Oga, please take down those pictures and do the needful.

Maryjane001:
It was back then in secondary school. I had this class teacher who liked intelligent students and disliked the others esp those at the bottom like me....
I didn't know y tho...

I recall a day she gathered the whole class and was talking Abt her past life in d University. D next thing, Aunty turned to me and started comparing me to the highly intelligent ones. I was used to it, she insulting me in front of the whole class was nothing new. But dat day she bore a hole in my heart when she said...
"She prays never to give birth to a child like me with no brains and anti-social attitude like me. If she could turn d hands of time, dat her son/daughter would marry one of the intelligent ones in our class and not end up like me. She even called me a hermit crab and talked about quiet people having mouth odor"
Omo dat day eh, my classmates taunted me,I went to the back and cried, then cried d remaining at home. I never told my parents cuz they had stopped asking Abt whatever happened in xkul and were busy hustling so we could eat.
But guess what? She taught us biology, ND I scored 94/100 in Jamb biology.
She had a negative impact on my life and sadly it still affects me till today....
Even a day before yesterday, a guy told me to my face dat I had potentials but I just lacked self confidence...

You have a beautiful soul. Pray to God to release the grace of self confidence upon you. Be cheerful and always have a positive disposition towards life. Remember you're responsible for your own happiness. Shalom!

Pray for God to direct you. That you marry a virgin is no guarantee she will make a good wife, a good mother and a home builder. You sef, are you a virgin? If you have defiled yourself, what makes you think you will reap an unadulterated vine.

That is why you must ask God to direct you. He is author of that oldest institution and He sure knows the best for you. Cheers.

OP in the first place you don't even believe wholeheartedly in this tithing, but since your conscience is worrying you, that is why you're seeking our opinions.

The truth is if you don't pay, the money will still not be enough. On the other hand if you aren't faithful in paying it when you earn small you won't be able to pay it when you have so much. The Bible says when you pay your tithe He will rebuke the devourer for your sake. Meaning you won't spend it on sickness, police case, village problems etc because they are all devourers.

So I'll encourage you to take out your tithe, pray over it and pay it and the Good Lord will prove His faithfulness in your life. Cheers.

OP N16m certainly won't be enough and you would be stranded and frustrated. Explore song it in other European countries like Germany and Austra where it's almost free and you will even be given some monthly stipends.

Oh boy calculate very well and don't be hasty.

The fewer guests the better. So much saves on entertainment and other items means less stress/headaches.

It's the best time for ultra low key ceremonies.

OP, so if your period wasn't two days late, you wouldn't have been alarmed, is that what you're saying?

Use your tongue to count your teeth and simply move on. Whether you are pregnant or not will not fast track any marriage process from him.

It's not today you knew of his living condition with his family. Simply move on; it's a bitter fact.

YoungPerson:
It is because of people like you I refused to join the military. See how you're judging the case from two paragraphs and a 30 second video that explains next to nothing. I for find you and flog sense into your synapses.


As a parent, I use my hard earned money that I worked tirelessly for to buy a phone for my child so as to track him or her in this evil world we live in. That child defies school rules and takes it to school. The school finds it and asks my child to destroy it in front of the whole school under duress with a camera in front of her. I don't have this information but then I wake up to see the video on Nairaland frontpage, bros, people go die.

Hope you don't breed indiscipline through your children in their school? Cause your comments are off it. Schools have rules. If you cannot abide by the rules, don't go there. Period!

The state needs an airport - cargo airport quite alright, but that after transforming the state (Aba) to an industrial complex. He should get rid of the huge filth littered or the whole place, get the roads in good shape and dualised. This in turn will allow investors to invest in hotels and other businesses (real estate, warehouses, distribution/logistics etc)

Basically, the gov should hasn't set his priorities right. This will definitely turn to another white elephant project. It's a shame the state and the country in general lack visionary leaders.