₦airaland Forum

@OP, use same yardstick you would apply if it was a male employee period. No sentiments.

Besides, invite her to come over and properly resign or you terminate her appointment properly, well documented. Ask her to submit all company items in her possession. If the items include keys, kindly ensure the corresponding locks are changed forthwith. Once she handover all company items including ID card, please compute her pay and closeout asap.

OP no need talking to any lawyer. If the intent is to see what she can slice out of your dad estates, then I think it would be an excersice in futility and waste of money.

Instead, let her call you guys (her children), build a strong bond amongst you guys and pray for you guys to be successful in your individual endeavours.

Above all, this is the time to handover her battles to God in serious prayers and also committing the safety and overall wellbeing of her children to God.

There's no point seeking for divorce after 27 years. In no distant time and by God's grace you guys should have found your feet. That alone is more than enough consolation for whatever she feels she's being deprived in her marriage.

iaamxavier:
I believe Igbo girls are very strong and resilient
In fact this days na them dey hustle pass guys

Emotional they are witches
Their heart is made with screen guard

Their heart is made with screen guard . That one strong oh!

That's beautiful and thanks for a job well done. Infact I owe you a drink! I know it's not easy, cause I can relate - it must have drained you emotionally

Keep it up. You too, you will settled

DavidEsq:
May I ask why it is required for one to spend the new year eve in a church?

Not a requirement, however, the feeling of ending the year in the presence of God your creator and starting the year in his presence too reverencing Him can truly be refreshing and uplifting.

@OP, the devil will just be laughing at you after reading your post . Bros!!! You are playing with faya! You already have a problem of lust and already cheated on your wife you claim you love. See to help yaself, just tell ya wife like a matter of concern to you because you don't want to fall, then pray together.

Thereafter, keep FAR from that girl and love your wife intensely like you're dating her all over, call her more often when at work, have her picture in your office, use her pix as screen saver on your system (if permissable at your work place) and lastly stop giving that girl any form of financial assistance. God help you and stay focus. Always know why you are at work (if don't, try to know)

A simple/classy leather smart wristwatch and a very good book on leadership.

@OP, I deeply empathize with your situation. However, don't you think the pain and energy you expended in laying curses on your husband, could have been used to ask God to fight your battles for you? You could have ask God to reset his senses and be freed from all the things distracting him from you. There's power in the tongue.

It's seems you don't value your life and well-being. Urgently see your doctor and possibly beg your husband to follow you. You both need to be properly schooled on the health implications of these quick but successive pregnancies on your body. Thereafter you can be advised on a family planning programme best suitable for you with active cooperation of your hubby. Good luck

Greenbullet:
The truth from married men who I have asked this question varies , I have asked 15 of them ,I have always been curious over this issue .
most of the men asked were over 50 , so they have experience. This was their opinion , The vagina does not go back to it's former glory , it is noticably different from before , the walls will become wider and the depth will be more narrow , but their explanation varies 6 of the men who I asked said it was different but acceptable , another 7 said it was very different , the tightness they felt disappeared and the vagina walls got weaker , the last 2 said, said it was a complete catastrophe , the vagina was a shadow of itself , one said and I recall ,the vagina is similar to a black hole , that he doesn't enjoy sex and he just does it

Much as I laughed out loud reading this . It's still not exhaustive and conclusive. Individual body make up matters but important is the level of understanding the man shows and also encouraging the woman to do her exercise to come back to shape, while assuring the woman of his love no matter what. Sex is important but is marriage only because of sex? Should the woman kill herself because the vejay did not come back to near 95-97% of the original? Abi no be one woman say some women are even tighter after the exercise. Where there is love and understanding with the will to work hard, these things can be surmounted. Shalom.

[quote author=vicben27 post=85025155]the problem women generally have is that most of you, never really think of the consequences of ur action before carrying it out. you had no business sending ur pics to a male friend as a married woman there should be limit to everything. Ur husand feels betrayed, and he his thoughting ur Trust, you also acted wrongly reporting him to ur father. Ur father has control over his own home not urs, this are little things that leads to unnecessary breakup in marriages this days. l will suggest you apologize to ur Husband and limit the way ur chat with male friends no husand or man will be comfortable with that, tell him to forgive you promising never to repeat it again. be wise and save ur home, no third parties, you should both be able to iron ur differences without involving others/quote]


Very sensible and matured comment.

OP respect your husband directives and also follow the piece of advise given above.

Jadeobee:
Are you married? Has your wife given birth?

Yes please.

Yes it can come back to normal. It only requires you to start doing kegels few days to 6weeks after normal delivery. If you are consistent with the exercises, your vagina muscles/walls can tighten up in few months. Even after that, you still need to do it occasionally. Good luck

xendra:
what is there to be feeling down about? that's why many end up marrying pretenders as they well deserve. las las na woman go still chop him money. let him be feeling down � mr downer

Very harsh. Show little care

Marriage wahala sef. E no dey finish, new dimension of wahala everyday.

Hmmm OP I am not a judge. I am sure you both are Christians and if yes, the bible will ever remain the manual. Neglect it at your own peril. The rules are simple but very, very difficult for us to abide with. I will just quote some for us:

1. Genesis 2:24 "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."

2. Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." If you do why should you be coming that late without pre-informing her.

3. Romans 12:10 "Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves."

4. 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 A man should fulfill his duty as a husband, and a woman should fulfill her duty as a wife, and each should satisfy the other’s needs. A wife is not the master of her own body, but her husband is; in the same way a husband is not the master of his own body, but his wife is.

5. Ephesians 5:21-25 Submit yourselves to one another because of your reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband has authority over his wife just as Christ has authority over the church; and Christ is himself the Savior of the church, his body. And so wives must submit themselves completely to their husbands just as the church submits itself to Christ. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it

6. Colossians 3:18-19 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, for that is what you should do as Christians. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them

7. Ephesians 4:32 Instead, be kind and tender-hearted to one another, and forgive one another, as God has forgiven you through Christ

8. 1 Peter 4:8 Above everything, love one another earnestly, because love covers over many sins

9. 1 Corinthians 11:11 In our life in the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman.

10. 1 Peter 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. (NIV)

The above doesn't mean there will not be times of misunderstanding, quarrels etc. They will because you both are from different backgrounds and have different upbringing. Once you both have a deep (and spiritual) knowledge of what you guys have signed into it is easier. If only one partner knows, the struggling will be there. If both don't know, what you described above happens.

There are plenty of advise already given. I will add mine by saying, continue to plead with her. Of all the bible passage wey dey up there, if you no fear anyone, make you fear the last one - it says if you do not treat your wife well with respect, your prayers no go pass ceiling. That is the word of God, no be me talk am.

Theyoungmatron:
Take a vacation if he can afford it and cool off without the half-wife and the new fling beclouding his judgements. At least let him clear his head on whom he really want in his life. Away matches are always sweeter until they got home and sniff the ground.

Okay noted. But man and woman wahala matter no dey end. It comes in different shades and dimensions. I chuckle as I remember what a medical doctor said during a marriage seminar sometime ago. He was telling the men that the make up of all women sexual organs are the same. In effect saying all woman are same save for the faces. The reactions of the men showed they didn't agree

Theyoungmatron:
Nigerian marriage counsellors always have different prayers for both men and women.
They tell the woman to endure and pray while they tell the man to pursue, separate and divorce

The Nigerian hypocrites,
First of their kind,
Descendant of adulterated specie of Homo sapiens.

so wetin you come advise the OP na?

You're seeking.validation to go for the second lady because you're pained and unhappy. Bros cool down. Dat thing wey dey shack u go soon clear for your eyes. I be wan slap dat ur head but com chill.

Take your woman at home out on a weekend treat.e no dey cost, just eatery and take an evening walk in one quiet area and ask her what the matter is, her concern, her fears anything. Trust me she will open up. Then try and see things from her perspective, then assure and alay her fears and worries. Like someone said, you were once in love, so you need to rekindle that fire. Forget about that second lady oh. You are too young for the stress and wahala that will come out of it.

GreenMist21:
Ill pay for the dinner. I just need a friend

Story not real

Simplyleo:
This is the third time I have watched the video clips of this Asari Dokubo.

Pls what's his educational qualification? He appears very lettered, calm, intelligent and composed. Also, his messages may not be of interest to me, but he always present them in ways that appeal to unbiased listeners.

Very much unlike the leader of these ipob miscreants. How he ends up having followers still beats my imagination.

Learnt he didn't complete his university education, as he left in his 3rd year or so, switching to armed militancy, crude oil bunkering etc through the IYC. He speaks very good English.

OP you can't get him back period. Nevertheless, you were never married. So if the relationship failed because you cheated then learn from it and conduct yourself as a child of God who won't give herself easily to any man or bf until married. And once married, please keep to your marital vows. Rededicate your life to Christ and let Him open a new chapter with you. Trust Him and be a good chil daughter and see Him put smile on your face.

The world is thinking how to make the Earth safer and renewable energy; talking of climate change issues.

Ginaz:
It’s too soon and too early. Guy you bleeped up big time , you’re allowing your emotions to overshoot your target.

What do you really know about this lady?
Her habits?
Her moods?
Her anger issues (everyone has one) some are mild and bearable ,others crazy and over the top.
Her values?

I’ve realized inviting a person to come stay with you it’s very easier than telling the person to leave . Don’t start what you can’t finish of which you have already started

You should have watched her from a distance, allowed her to served in her original state of work, get to know her more better first .

This is a huge step , you guys just met o. Everything is happening too quick. You’re gonna regret it soon.

I can’t stand being somewhere for a long time though . I wonder how a girl would just agree for a guy to work things over so she could stay with him. Doesn’t she have her own sense?

It feels weird to live with a guy who isn’t your husband yet. I don’t care the reasons I’m not doing it.

OP, this lady makes lots of sense.

You are moving too fast. Besides that ladies can be are very unpredictable, it is totally wrong for you to cohabit with a lady (that you met less than how many months sef?) Do you realise the grave implications of what you are getting yourself into? If ANYTHING happens to that lady, your own do be and even that your Brig.Gen uncle go take small cover!

A proper risk assessment of your action indicates that when yawa gas, den you go realise say that love wey dey shark you na ice-block love - cause it will sudden melt very fast with the heat you will find yourself.

Final answer, please abort!

Edet08:
SMAW ( Shielded Metal Arc Welding) aka “stick” welding and GTAW( Gas Tungsten Arc Welding) aka TIG aka argon ,are both lucrative trades. Once you’re good and able to demonstrate your ability to deposit sound welds that meet the requirements of a qualified WPS (Welding Procedure Specification) through a welder performance test, you’re good to go assuming you’re looking at working in the construction industry. Often times, contractors prefer combination welders( SMAW and GTAW for pipe welding.
I encourage you to go for it.

OP, I'd rather you stick to the above advise. Learn both. The opportunities for TIG abound in the O&G and food processing industries.

However, you should limit your exposure to not more than 7-10 years, as it affects the male reproductive system. This is where the ladies have an advantage. I remember a lady that did some serious stainless steel fabrications for us years ago. She was even pregnant all through the period. She was the only person that passed the qualifying tests.

Thereafter, with the work experience built, you can start off on your own and use hired personnel or continue with SMAW or add the skill of fitting (steel members) and upgrade to a supervisory role. This is to increase your work skill latitude.

Hmmm. Please abort mission! I repeat, abort mission!!

But why dear? I am anti-abortion and so will not advice for a D & C; cause you will be committing murder in the sight of God, as you are already carrying a life inside of you! No matter how sweet anyone want to paint it, please don't go for it. This is why the Society For Family Health preaches abstinence or use protection (condom), in order to avoid tales like this your own.

Pregnancy is calculated from the last day of ovulation. Scan results are usually +/- 2weeks. Use this to do your calculation since you didn't state hey last day of ovulation.

On the other hand what must have made her not to take the drug initially? This puzzle will naturally fuel suspicion that she knew she was already pregnant for someone else but want you to father the child, as you are more capable. There's not much you can do than to wait and do a DNA test when baby is born. Till then you have to take kia of expectant lady. You just have to bear the consequences of your actions for now.

Please, by all means recommend him. You may just be arranging your own stepping stone, cause God could use him to your advantage tomorrow or elsewhere. Mr. X seems to be a top flyer, so he may eventually get something much more bigger with another FCMG and he needs to fill in a top spot, then he gives you a call to come take it.

etrange:
I'm almost certain the man left his hair like that to create the "refugee impression". Lol

I never laugh better laugh since morning. Seeing this your comment made me laugh so tey tears comot for eyes Lol.

I'm sure by the time these Canadians read all the comments on this thread, they would be more convinced to put them on the next available fight to Lagos or Abuja. Na wa!

Germi9:
Who's that woman decorating a Principal Army officer...hmm na wao!! She even came with her two children sef!!!whats happening sef?

That woman is the wife to the Commander of the PAF (Presidential Air Fleet). That is the military tradition. The wife assist in the decoration ceremony, especially for senior officers.

TRIGITIS:
Wow, such a nice job by the engineers. They must be mech engine graduates.

Really!

You seem like a nice person with a good heart but easily get discourage when hit by a difficult situation. In life there will always be the pluses and minuses. We need both to become
progressive and toughened.

Don't judge all situations with only one set of parameters.