₦airaland Forum

Nairaplus: But, why Ondo? Maybe he's afraid of militancy in the Niger Delta!
Militants fit migrate o! Or even self, dem fit evolve! Make una help me tell am.

Going by Dangote's record of relationship with host communities sorrounding his establishments like the cement factories and all, i can assure you that any millitant who wishes to make trouble for Dangote will be shot dead or hanged by the community members themselves for trying to put sand inside the Golden morn (not even Ga.r.ri) Dangote will surely prepare for them.

That said, i'm still not comfortable with the idea of Dangote dictating our fuel price as is likely to be the case a few years from now.

Once upon a time, robbery gangs hardly exceeded 7 - 10 people on d average. These days, you hear of robbery gangs numbering about 50! 100! Seriously?? So the spate of unemployment and insecurity has gotten to a stage where 50 people will sit down and plan mayhem. Unless the root causes of insecurity such as unemployment and social security are addressed, bokoharam will continue to thrive in d north, kidnappers and robbers will continue to have a field day in the south. But unemployment and insecurity cannot be effectively addressed when the lawmakers are collectively earning billions every month, when billions is still bein used to bribe niger delta millitants in d name of amnesty, when people are still illegally earning billions from overinflated unnecessary pipeline security contracts and the rest. Something solid and concrete needs to be done fast, or else a large number of the close to 40 million unemployed members of the population will continue to make life difficult for the remaining 130 million people.

Excellent. Front page material. Of course this will have no effect on those who already have stereotyped notions about Islam & Jihad such that not even the clearest proof can convince them otherwise, but to those who are open minded, realistic and genuinely seek truth & understanding, this is surely an eye opener. May Allah reward the writer.
Btw, to the uninformed, this essay above in itself is a form of jihad.

glimpse: The first car is the OP's car and he wants you to see it that was why he added it to the post.

Lol. He should have labelled it ''My 'Jeep' '' in the pic then

ajadudu: The SUV was driving by, you can see people are NOT looking at the SUV but at another direction. The direction they are looking at is where the car must be located.

Yeah, You are right. Noticed that upon closer look at the pics after i had posted my comment

Hmmm...... Is this for real?

Both pics posted are of different cars. First pic is obviously a Landcruiser Prado while second pic looks very much like a Honda Accord 06-07 (discussion continues). Care to tell us which of the cars the couple is actually sleeping in?

Edit: Photography could have been better. 1st photo not needed as it appears the Prado was just a 'spectator' car alongside the other people looking at the main 'car of interest' parked close to the Prado

KnowAll: [size=18pt]Food wey don pass sellby date pickin for london no dey gree chop am. Buhari should be humiliated in the next poll, you know when u beat someone, don't do a TKO(TECHNICAL KNOCK OUT) Do a proper KO, so that he would not even fathom running in 2019 not less thinking of running.

The road for Buhari at this juncture of his life is travelling the short distance 6 feet under and that more than anything should be his primary pre-occupation not allowing people to keep on wasting ballot papers. Does he know we have global warming all that ballot papers his name is imprinted on can save enough trees in the forest. [/size]

Ok. Thank you.

[quote author=ndu_chucks]Most people will disagree with the opinion above. If your objective is to significantly reduce insults and bigotry, if you command respect, people will find it easier to comply with your admonitions, else what you'll have is unending catfights. Anyway good luck to you. Be wise, sir.[/quote]if only mod Sexkillz will listen.
@Sexkillz, please yourself and I echo ndu chucks in wishing you Goodluck.

sexkillz: [color=#000030]Respect is reciprocal. Although I don't need anyone's respect. The less people respect me, the more effective I am. [/color]

Really? Not surprised you think this way. Remember though that the world does not end in nairaland dot com. No one says you shouldn't do your job, we only ask that you add an extra dose of MATURITY (yes i said it) while doing it.

Goddex: Tam David West is a big liar for telling us on the last paragraph that Buhari does not have a house in Abuja and sleeps in a hotel whenever he visits Abuja. It is common these days for every of Buhari's agent to lie to Nigerians all in a bid to make their master look good.

Buhari has the finest mansion in Maitama District of Abuja. Infact, Buhari and Igbinidion Snr have the best private houses in Maitama. All Keke Napep and taxi drivers operating in that district know about his mansion. He could not have built that with his salary eventhough he remained Head of state till now. That mansion is obviously a product of corruption afterall, how much was his salary? Tam David West should stop lying! It is very shameful the extend Buhari's foot soldiers lie and paint their master in colours that even he would be shocked. Nairalanders living around Maitama will bear me witness if what I wrote here is not true.

Where is the mod that keeps hammering on Rule 2? This comment is deliberately provocative & its a lie for that matter.

Dude, you have lied. Can you kindly tell us where exactly the house is & how you know for a fact that Buhari owns it? Is there no lenght you guys cannot go to bring Buhari down??

I would rather vote for an undeniably incorruptible ''religious bigot'' Buhari (who didnt islamise Nigeria as a millitary leader, who cancelled government funding of mecca pilgrimage & who crushed a millitant islamic sect during his regime) than an undeniably corrupt zero achievement as Governor, very few achievements as President Jonathan.

KnowAll: [size=18pt]I was a buhari fan but "no maas"(roberto duran)I would give 159 million, 999,999 Nigerians my vote than give the Ayatollah from Daura my one vote. Buhari has passed his sell by date.

Anyone who votes for this old relic surely wants to take us back in time to 1984. Can someone please tell Ayatollah Buhari that the world has moved on from "telex" and "fax" to Skype and e-mails[/size]

we know you flip flop. We were here when you were supporting Jonathan, later you switched support to Buhari. Now you are yabbing the same Buhari. We do not even want your support. You can give it to the young 'un expired' confused incompetent peeps looting you dry in Abuja.

PointB: ^^^^
The job of the President is to create policies and enabling environment for the things you listed, not to do them himself.

The International Airport, and a free trade zone in SE are such enabling environment. All he need do now is to ensure successful take-off/implementation. Smart business men will take it up from there.

thelastPope: Thank you for educating the lad. Some people just come to NL to spew ignorance. Government is not a corporation. The job of government is to provide the enabling environment for businesses to thrive. That is why GEJ has focussed on key sectors like railway, agriculture and power. Once these key sectors are up and running properly, businesses can thrive and the whole economy would have been better for it.

Oh of course I know the President's job is to create policies. But as the FG is the largest beneficiary of our skewed revenue sharing policy, with Ministers for Agriculture, Commerce, Trade n what have you bein members of that same center, its not out of place for them to initiate these programs. The President cannot spend 4 years just making policies. We need action & while businessmen do indeed have roles to play, the FG HEADED BY THE PRESIDENT needs to spearhead directly or indirectly many of these things. You guys should stop deliberately making the Government lazy abeg. Later you will be telling us that GEJ has built almajiri schools.

The cargo airport n free trade zones are indeed good projects in an ideal situation, but right now, like i said, we need projects that will directly cater to the people's welfare. Dont put the cart before the horse. In any case, we'll see when the so called free trade zone will come to light. 3 years gone already, 2 more left.

That GEJ thinks and actually says that his ''promise to bring transformation to the economy has been fulfilled'' clearly shows that he does not know what he's talking about or he has no idea of the kind of transformation Nigeria needs.

Or was alcohol served before he spoke?

Someone please tell this man to make policies & execute projects that DIRECTLY affect the lives of the people and will ensure social security. We need projects that will keep the youths off the street, projects that will increase manufacturing. Or what will be traded at the free trade zone when completed? Imported goods again right? Or locally made ones many of which are not up to international standards & are produced in low quantity due to a myriad of reasons all boiling down to lack of funds? Why not set up manufacturing plants even if it is for the sneakers & jungle boots used by youth corpers. Fit then with standard equipment, massively employ igbo youths there and ensure a very standard Quality Assurance system. From producing quality nysc footwear, let them graduate to actually producing quality shoes and bags which even Mr President should be proud of wearing. i can imagine a standard world class shoe/bag factory set up in Enugu in patnership (not 'rip-off ship') with known designer brands and Mr President after commisioning it, proceeds to tell everyone who cares to listen everywhere he goes that all his shoes including the one he's wearing (which must be fine o) are made in Nigeria. Present them as gifts to visiting heads of states. Igbos are the most enterprising people in Nigeria but sadly, most of the successful ones are in Lagos while a good proportion of the rest are in Onitsha selling IMPORTED goods which we should ordinarily be producing locally. This government should just directly aid manufacturing & lets watch as the SE becomes Nigeria & indeed Africa's economic hub, and the development will inevitably spread to other parts of the south.

Lets not even talk about vehicle assembly/spare parts plants and the rest. Agriculture nko? Hate or love igbos, we can never deny their enterpreneurship skills.

Set up all these things and let the average man be smiling before you talk about free trade zone abeg.

Are these leaders just totally clueless or what? Oh i forgot, they actually are.

Gbawe1: What I will tell you is that there is not a single Nigerian government that has not had "laudable projects" to its name since 1999 yet there is also not a single one of them that has had a significant and deliberate positive effect on the major problems of Nigeria.

This i think, is the major thing several nigerians have failed to realise. Even if you put a 10 year old kid at the helm to pilot the affairs of Nigeria, i assure you he will still have achievements to his name.

The type of leadership GEJ is giving us now is NOT the type of leadership this country needs at the moment, and is DEFINITELY not the 'fresh air' he promised us either. We need serious changes. drastic changes. Some may argue change is gradual but there are certain changes that just cannot, must not be graudual. The system needs to be jolted into action. Unfortunately, GEJ has shown that not only does he lack that needed spark, but under his watch, critical problem areas such as corruption and insecurity have actually gotten worse.
Fuel subsidy from 280-300billion suddenly skyrocketing to 2 trillion naira within a year (which just so happens to be election year)is definitely a corruption record, even going by IBB regime standards. That the key players involved have not gone to jail, with the major ones like Diezani still occupying their positions is a huge slap on the face of Nigerians, what makes the slap hurt more is the fact that Nigerians are the ones paying for these excesses each day at the filling station. Why should we be buying fuel at 97 naira per litre for God's sake??

GEJ promised us a leaner government yet all indications point to the fact that his Government is even more bloated than his predecessor's what with the appointment of useless aides by his very own self. What the heck is Reno Omokri doing in government with his post?

Despite the fact that we have a Navy, GEJ deemed it fit to contract out the security of our water ways (at several billions of naira) to a millitant who ordinarily should be a persona non grata at the very least, if not in jail.

Many more atrocities.

GEJ insults nigerians every damn day with all these rubbish going on but one day, it will stop. Our reputation in the international community keeps nosediving further, even a journalist appears not to have any respect for our president. Should we blame her? No. Its the fault of the president who appears powerless to bring up much needed and much overdue changes in his country whose entire population is less than that of Uttar Pradesh which is just one state in India, while at the same time is blessed with more than the total natural and mineral resources of several countries put together.

I only hope Nigerians will be better orientated when 2015 comes.

Gbawe1: "Children section" because it is a thread asking truthful questions relating to your messiah that you have nil capacity or innate decency to confront?

Do you know Ribadu is currently in the news openly pondering what the FG has done with the recommendations of his Petroleum task force committee that came many, many months ago? Those are the sort of anti-people/nation antics that has made Nigerians to go from having goodwill for GEJ to this situation where they do not "trust and respect" him any longer. You go around shouting "haters" yet how many Nigerians want a better life yet have now turned against a very disappointing President and how many "hate" GEJ for reasons other than how it is crystal clear this is not a President on the side of ordinary Nigerians as you claim?

You have no shame at all with how you cannot minimally concede that GEJ , truth be told, is very disappointing and a leader who needs to drastically up his game. He cannot even be mentioned when average leaders are talked of let alone distinguished and very effective leaders.

You can lie to yourself and attempt to bully the OP, because you are either a loser with zero conscience or a complete sycophant lacking exposure that means you do not know what driven leadership is, but you cannot browbeat the message of the OP. Don't take how he is a gentle soul to think you can bully/shout him down.

Face someone like me and I will tell you about your GEJ and his compromised, cowardly, disappointing and fraudulent leadership in language, and with facts, everyone can understand. Nonsense. I am ready, any time and any day, to show GEJ is a fraud who has actually even worsened the major problems of Nigeria i.e those problem that, unresolved, ensures Nigeria remains a basket case Nation.

YES!!!! *Bangs gavel on post*

mamaaustin: for your information, mothers don't give their babies teething mixture to help the teeth come out, they give it to combat the feverish conditions associated with teething. If you had a child, or actively took care of one, u wld know that teething is a very stressful period for both parents and child and drugs are usually given to relive the pains.
Calling the mixture 'my pikin' ws just a marketing ploy, there are similarly named syrup out there like, 'babyrex', 'bonababe', and even 'babymycin'. Are parents meant to judge the efficacy of a drug based on the name? When my child is burning with a fever in the middle of the night, I don't care if the drug is called pakuromo, as long as it can combat the symptoms.
But as a last word on this matter, parents shld note that a good baby brand of PARACETAMOL is recommended for feverish conditions, even those associated with teething. If the symptoms last more than three days or worsen, please consult your doctor!

Thanks for the clarification, though I was under the impression that the teething mixtures are supposed to in some way influence the baby's teething. And yes, i havnt raised a child before, but i've been privileged to work at a place where I saw first hand a great deal of harm parents unknowingly cause their babies.

I actually do not have any issues with the drug name per se. What i have issues with is what you repeated in your last paragraph. I dont want to turn this into a debate, but i do not think it is advisable that parents use drugs for their BABIES without seeing a doctor first, except where it is impossible to do so at that moment. Whatever drug a baby takes either for fever or anything should be prescribed by a doctor.

Hmmm.... Alright.


First of all, I miss Ikenna here. Dude meant well, was doing well & could have done a lot better if allowed to continue. Evensome of those who were banned by him began to admire him. He had very good intentions, and was clear on what he intended to do which of course involved the use of force, but without being arrogant, however subtly, about it.

Sexkillz welcome. i wish you the best of luck. The romance section is not the politics section even though both are sections on on this same nairaland. I hope your planned style of 'modship' will indicate that you have this at the back of your mind.

i could come up with an essay expresing my views on what tribalism is about and why the war on tribalism appears to be akin to the war against corruption in Nigeria but I'll skip that coz i want to sleep and just put down some of my thots on tribalism and this topic.

There is freedom of speech. Nairaland allows this.
There is attack on tribes and personalities. Not allowed.

EVERYBODY should be able to express his views on Ojukwu or Awolowo or Achebe or Obasanjo WITHOUT being insultive. Nairaland is a microcosm of Nigeria and no matter how popular/notorious a national figure is, he/she will surely have his or her own antagonists/supporters who are nairalanders.

I support that our national figures should not be insulted but i also support that anybody should be free to say anything, good or bad AS LONG AS IT IS TRUE about them. we are all here to review our past, analyse the present and chart a course for the future.

I support that these figures should not be called names like coward, mol.e.ster e.t.c. as i believe that actually irks lots of people and has contributed a lot to the tribalism cancer in nairaland today.

I support that those who have a penchant for turning just about any thread to yoruba versus igbo/hausa be warned and banned if they refuse to desist.

But,

Moderators, including our new one, Sexkillz, Please ban RESPONSIBLY and not indiscriminately. The essence of punishment is to make the recipient realise his mistake. The response some mods give when members question their ban totally negates this. I personally detest arrogance, it pisses me off even when such arrogance isn't directed at my person. When laws are broken, due process must be followed and appropriate punishment given and even when appropriate punishment is given, it must not smack of highhandedness and arrogance. doing otherwise or trying to show 'who's boss' usuay makes the defaulter more recalcitrant. And we are dealing with adults here, of varying intelligence levels which i must admit must make the job of moderating more difficult. But, i think its better to handle an offence properly the first time, rather than having to deal with it continually.

In essence, I recommend a carrot and stick approach for handling the tribalism menace. In short, a great deal of MATURITY is expected from the moderators and of course we the members if this section is to rbe made pleasant for us all. Some people say the politics section will be dull and dead without tribalism. I disagree. but i will say that care must be taken while fighting this tribalism and bigotry so that the politics section does not indeed end up dull and uninspiring.

This may not be the right place to say it but i also join others to request that the monthly debates be brought back and i strongly recommend that a topic relating to 'tribalism and bigotry on social media in Nigeria' be discussed.

To the die-hard tribalists, u know yourselves, please sheathe your swords and stop venting your frustrations on others online. (Some of) you can & do make better contributions than the expressly meaningless tribal slurs you churn out with so much hate. Relax, life's not that hard.

To the jocular tribalists, abeg, make una dey much more subtle without necessarily being insultive. The nigerian political terrain is a comedy in itself so there are already lots of things to make us cry and laugh at d same time.

@Fhemmy,he said no Sienna because the rear windows cannot be wound down....which is the same thing with the 2nd generation oddysey you posted.

@Op, i'm surprised no one has mentioned Toyota Picnic. Though in my opinion, it's the ugliest member of your list, I have a feeing its the most practical and economical to own in Nigeria, going by the fact that well, it's a Toyota....even if European spec...& it has a strong rep for durability. The oddysey would be my pic of the bunch tho it is really not immune to tranny issues....but if you take care of it well, use the prescribed ATF, change at prescribed intervals e.t.c. you'll reduce your chances of having those issues.

Ford Galaxy and VW Sharan are more or less the same vehicle. Can't say much about them tho i would expect the Sharan wil provide the best driving pleasure of the bunch but will also give average 'mechanic' the most headaches...whenever there's a fault.

Mazda MPV is also really cool, tho if you are very concerned about fuel costs and will be spending lots of time in traffic, you may want to skip it coz they mostly come in 2.5l V6 engines which are not so thirsty but thirstier than the average i4 (MPV users can correct my assertion).

Above all, anywhere you come across anyone driving any of the vehicles, feel freee to walk up to that person & have a chat with him/her, it could help you make a decision but also know that some people maintain their cars poorly and then turn around to blame the car for the inevitable avoidable faults that occur.

AY CARS: @find out , send me the email adress again pls!!!

[quote author=Find Out!]aobalog @ live . com

ignore the spaces[/quote]

It so happens that the owner of the company is already dead and cannot explain himself any further & possibly answer for his crimes. That said, why are "teething mixtures" even sold to the public? & why the heck are/were mothers buying teething mixtures for their babies? Does a baby need 'mixtures' before teeth can develop? I hope present mothers will learn that its not just anything you see on a chemist's shelf that you buy for your infant simply because you 'think' or 'feel' it will be useful to that child. Drug abuse in general should be avoided by all, but especially so where children are concerned. If you feel anything isn't right with your child, hospital straight! It's better to pay consultation fees just for the doctor to say "there's nothing wrong with him/her" than to spend that same money buying a potential poison for your child.

Despite posting my email twice, you still havn't sent me more pics. issorite. Happy sales o

[quote author=PAGAN 9JA]i think for such a low altitude, it must be a Cleansweep 7. [/quote] No dey fall dem witches hand na.lol

Which kain broomstick dem dey use abeg? Nimbus 2000 or Firebolt?

ogugua88: [size=13pt]I agree with you. It's a pointless battle, a fight lost before it even began. It will be painful and it may feel like the end of the world. However, loving someone who doesn't love you back, in my opinion, is more painful. It's best to accept reality and move on.[/size]

On point!
Seriously

ogugua88: [size=13pt]Well, the guy I'm with now is AS. I don't know my type. I may be AS too. All I know is that I didn't develop feelings for him because of his blood type, so there's no way it'd deteriorate and/or I'd leave him because of mine. To me, someone's blood type is as insignificant as someone's tribe. I really don't care.[/size]

@bolded, . Go and find out jor. lol. I guess you know your blood group tho.

Well, different things matter to different people sha, & like i said,


[quote author=Find out!]Again again, to each his own....... What works perfectly for couple A may cause unhappiness with couple B & vice versa.[/quote]& what could make Mr A leave his gf may not necessarily matter to Mr B. Its all about what matters to each person. Genotype does not matter to you, i hope your future spouse (if AS) shares same convictions....if you turn out to be AS.

ogugua88: [size=13pt]Keep banging till you tire lol.

Just as people date in high school and marry their high school sweethearts AND remain with them till death, it's very possible that I have held onto the same beliefs since I was younger and will hold onto them until my last day. I don't need to have biological children. That will never change. And I'm not alone with my thinking. So deal with it.[/size]

Lol. Sweetheart , I believe you and I'm 'dealing' with it already. lol. My only prayer for you is that should you find yourself in such a situation, i hope your guy also reasons the same way you do and agrees with your decision ( hopefully for "reason 1" as enunciated in my previous posts) & doesn't wake up one morning and suddenly decides he wants to have his own bio children. It has happened before, it is still happening & will continue to happen for the simple reason that humans are unpredictable & you'll look very hard to find a Nigerian/african man who GENUINELY does not want to have his own child despite knowing fully well that he can bear children. Deal with that.

There's a reason why couples go to several lengths and spend a lot of money just to have their own bio kids, even to the extent of allowing another woman carry the pregnancy. Its not because they can't adopt.


Connossieur's last post has said it all....*enuf for me to bring out my dusty gavel & bang it *

Connoisseur: you know its very easy to say this now with the rush of youth and all, but a few years down the line and it might be a different story.

Just get married first and have a child suckle you, then come back and tell me you would gladly trade it all off. you can find another person to love even with a higher intensity than you felt you possessed (yeah i did), but knowing you cant bear your own child (not that you are not capable of) with the man you love.
believe me there wouldnt be a greater punishment

GBAM! GBAM! *bangs gavel on post*

[quote author=Mynd_44]Hey no sweat bro. Our differences makes the world beautiful[/quote]On point! lol

poshdiva: Well said! Most people think love would last forever. After marriage give it 10-15 years and see if you are still in love.

Fact is that those who got married for the wrong reasons are the ones who have a high rate of divorce. Once those big breast,big ass, swag, beauty, six packs e.t.c which were the reasons they married that person start to fade, they are hit with reality which they cant handle and they opt-out.Love is not everything. There is more to marriage than love.

I have friends who are SS. Whenever any one has a crisis, i think of their parents and how selfish they are. They could have sacrificed that love for the life and wellbeing of their future kids.

My best friend is AC. Whenever he has a crisis, he has to be injected in the heart. I know what i go through everyday. Always scared of losing him. All these could have been avoided.

Thank you!

At bolded, some actually went into those marriages out of ignorance, but the fact is many people still intend to embark on such marriages, out of which some eventually do so intending not to have kids, & even out of that you find those who 'mistakenly' end up having those kids.

A chat with any experienced doctor who regularly handles Sickle cell cases will reveal to you that a good number of those with young suffering SS kids today DID NOT intend to have kids but could not abort when pregnancy came.....praying the child will be AS

As an aside tho, i know an AS/AS couple (ext. family) who had 6 kids, out of which only 2 were SS (both girls, one died at 2yrs, the other at 8yrs). The rest (men now) are AS & i think one is AA sef!. The couple were 'uninformed' at the time they were getting married (early 70s)tho.

[quote author=Mynd_44]now with the last paragraph of your last post, you start to rescind a little. You start to use "I" which indicates a personal choice which you make.

In my initial post, did I not state my personal opinion? It is what I would do and I said it but you chose to come at mehereby starting this argument.

In the end, it boils down to choice. I have told y'all mine and you have said yours. Lets leave it there[/quote]Yeah i knew that which is why i didn't belabor you any further on whether you really could do it.

All my posts have been to analyse the issue in itself, and of course respond to you & Ogugua's views....from my own perspective of course which doesn't necessarily have to be the right/best option, & NOT to "come at you". In those posts, particularly in the last long one, i mentioned that "To each his own". I believe the very first line of my first post here reads "Yes, today I have this topic's time".

I've posted based on your position & Oguguas, & in all posts i've made on NL since 2k9, indeed based on how i live my life generally, unless the issue at hand involves a clear cut definition of what is right & what is wrong, i usually leave room to be corrected & i always welcome contrary opinions. I am simply looking at the issue from a standard general perspective, based on what i've seen, i'm seeing and what my own sense of judgement dictates. On this issue, my stand as evinced in my very first post and subsequent posts afterwards has not changed thus far.

Twas nice having this chat/debate though & believe it or not, I have learnt from your side, at the very least, that some people actually do not see much difference between raising their own kids & raising adopted kids.

[quote author=Mynd_44]I find it amusing that he did not quote my post about the love between partners who end up marrting one another irrespective of whether they can have a child or not and comparing it with having to raise a child in a loveless marriage cos they can have kids[/quote]lol, you mean this? thot you would've inferred my reaction to it from my above post.

[quote author=Mynd_44]Yet we keep igoing that fact and run after IMMATERIAL things. I guess some people will prefer the joys of having biological children in a lovelless marriage to adopting children in one with with love.[/quote]I CANNOT stay in a loveless relationship Mynd . i just can't, neither can i dream of getting married to someone i do not love. You seem to misunderstand me a bit. It's not compulsory for me to have kids in life, afterall i'm not God, but i will not deliberately walk into a marriage that i know means that i & my wife wont be able to have my own biological kids despite the fact that all evidence points to us being physically alright and quite capable of having our kids with other people. i cannot walk into such marriage in the name of love is blind.

I do not consider wishing and planning to have my own biological children with a wife i'm married to, who in turn has to be a lady i'm in love with and crazy about, as immaterial.

ogugua88: [size=13pt]You'd be surprised. I don't have to make my own pizza lol. I don't have to have children either. I'd be very content in adopting. That had been my plan since I was very young. If I could, I'd adopt at least one child from each continent. Yes, wild dreams, but I love children, and they don't have to be mine biologically. If I can't have a child with my partner, then that's more than fine. Not everyone puts children before his or her spouse. For me, I have to be happily in love to even consider children. I was raised by two parents who have been crazy for one another for 28 years. I want my children, mine or adopted, to be raised in the same environment.[/size]

Hmmm.... it's funny how i usually seem to agree and disagree with you at the same time!

For the record, i'm not against adoption, & would recommend it IF the couple either CANNOT have a baby due to unforseen/unexpected health conditions. I'm also of the view that the next best thing to being happily married to someone you love, is to have kids together. Infact, adoption may well come up in my life plan ( PLUS my own biological kids) tho i pray to be blessed with my very own biological kids when i get married.

I think i've expressed my views sha, but then, we are all different people & so, to each his own. The fact that we are different people is even what makes the concept of adoption more sensitive. In most decisions couples make together, there are usually 2 reasons behind them:

- I'm doing this with my partner because i also want it;
- I'm doing this with my partner only because s/he wants it.

& the funny thing is that in most cases, the other spouse hardly ever knows which of the reasons among the 2 is responsible for that spouse's apparent agreement, & this is why many decisions supposedly previously agreed upon, don't always end happily. the natural thing is to get married and proceed to have biological kids. Other child bearing options are not exactly unnatural but shouldn't necessarily be the 1st option except both spouses 'agree'. Agreement for the 2nd reason especially doesn't always have an infinite life span. Things could go wrong especially in sensitive issues such as deliberately staying biologically childless & adopting instead.

Again sha, to each his own.

[quote author=Mynd_44]I don't see the point in the whole HIV debate. You brought it up and it has been addressed so let's drop it and move on but the problems we have with adoption resides in our heads and the sooner we get over it, the better.[/quote]Lol. Fine by me. There are however indeed some problems with adoption, as there are problems raising kids whose parents you do not know without necessarily adopting, just that not everyone gets to experience them & really, adoption is very rewarding & a really humane act. I'll say only one word here & i expect you to fill in the gap in your mind : GENETICS.

ogugua88: [size=13pt]@Mynd44, it's for reasons like these that men and women leave their true love for someone who can have their babies/impregnate them. After they have four or five, infidelity sets in. Marrying for convenience tends to catch up to people.[/size]

Lol. my own parents were practically childless for a number of years before they had a baby who lived longer than 2 weeks, and there was no infidelity, neither did they stop loving and supporting each other, & they got the same support from inlaws as well, which was not exactly a common thing in yorubaland at that time.lol.

I'm not all about kids kids kids, though i believe its an integral part of marriage & in fact, one of the major reasons behind the concept called marriage. you can get almost every other thing you get in marriage, even kids sef, by not being married to that person. I cannot date someone i'm not crazy about talkess of marrying that person & i do not believe that i can only love one single person in the whole world or that my gf can only love one single guy. But i believe its discipline and commitment & ultimately, God's help that will make us stick together and keep our love strong. I believe i would find it extremely hard to cheat on my wife, even if we don't have kids, tho i'll never ever deceive myself & say for certain that its totally impossible because i know i'm a human being, just as my wife is a human being as well.

Again again, to each his own. People have trivialized the institution of marriage/the idea of having kids & feel they can twist it and turn it to suit their own taste & design, needless to say & as the divorce courts have proven, it doesn't always work that way. What works perfectly for couple A may cause unhappiness with couple B & vice versa. Not everyone wishes to even have kids, & some couples do agree not to even have kids & some other couples keep trying and trying for several years before God finally answers their prayers. Nothing in life is guaranteed, but we just have to make use of our God given senses to navigate through life as good as we can so that come what may, several years after, when we look back over the span of say 2 decades after marriage, we'll be able to beat our chest and say "NO REGRETS" .

Connoisseur: yeah noted
but why i used getting married is because even though you plan not to be pregnant, it could still happen and by then your resolve might not be as strong as it was in the beginning.
so getting married is still courting trouble

Exact thing some people fail to realise!

No problem. However, what's left of the policemen population in Nassarawa state and the poor civillians in Baga are also expecting him.