₦airaland Forum

Tell your friends to woo them for you, life not hard the way you guys handle it.

Everyone has his/her strength and weakness, if ur weakness is that ur mouth blunt before woman,some people are professional in that field.

Contact them to lift you from your dongeon.

juman:
Do you know a strategy used by ECOMOG in sierra leone against the rebel.
ECOMOG withdrew from some places and the rebels came out from the forest and took over those places.
Then ECOMOG attacked them voraciously, succumbed them and won.

Liken ordinary Liberia's rebles to Ukraine (NATO &US) say alot about Ur thinking!

Bye.

Klass99:
Fiscus abeg no dey follow me talk with shorthand it gives me a nasty headache. If you are going to engage me please write in proper English. Meaning no offence to though.

Two married women close to me were miserable and unhappy for a long time because they gave up their means of livelihood in upwardly mobile cities to join their husbands in backwards and under developed cities that didn't offer much in terms of economic enterprise or work opportunities. One of them was able to remedy her situation via a good job in Abuja and she said that was her saving grace from intense depression.

You people have sold women a pipe dream that without marriage and kids, they will be forever doomed with a life of misery. So most give up good jobs, their financial security, single lives they were reasonably comfortable and happy with for the sake of these things.

Only to encounter massive misery, depression and unhappiness in their very Nigerian marriages where Naija men believe they can behave any how and the woman will not leave for the fear of divorce stigma or because of the children.

I believe you have also seen numerous threads authored by married women who complain of husbands that don't provide, repeatedly slacking off their responsibilities or gambling away their income. The latest story now is of the one who wants his wife/two kids to relocate to the village.

I have worked in the private sector since leaving school and I laugh every time people claim there is job security in the private sector or private sector jobs don't pay well like federal government jobs. The OP said she just got a good job, with pay increase and nice benefits too......Let her make the most of it and enjoy it before throwing it away on the altar of marriage, don't use menopause to scare her.

In present day Naija I won't even counsel any woman to give up her financial security for the sake of marriage, if they are not marrying capable men like Tony Elumelu or Jim Ovia ( I am just kidding, but I hope you catch the drift). Unlike you, I think a good job will benefit a woman, more than a Nigerian marriage as we know it in Naija.

I will be very surprised if u re not single mother and if u re still married, I salute ur husband who housed embittered species.

You re only given sermon to demonlise me and pushing me towards what I didn't say nor my intention.

I think you should concentrate about OP's scenario and not Okonjo iweala or Obi Ezekwesilie among others.

The girl we are talking about, is not working in CBN nor NNPC not even govt sch but private that littered every clan in Nigeria.


I will advice u not to give advise base on ur own interests and fancies, perhaps, bitter experience.

The lady in her statement, u can read that, she would be the one who would like to be with her love and not a fan of feminist as u be.

What stops a lady working in private school to leave and move with her husband, private school she can easily get in Kwara, even if it's lower income. With that, it a win-win situation.

Did u also imagine that if she fails to marry this time around, she may miss for life?

Did u know what it means to be without husband and childless?

Madam in life, it's about compromise o. If u want to have it all, U may end up loosing it all .


If ur Marriage is bitter, it doesn't mean some wives are not enjoy their marriages maximally ok.

Nazgul:
It's not the 100th time he has beaten you and you're still in his house. It's like that girl is tired of life and is looking for someone who would send her to the great beyond.

That's is to tell u that woman mouth tooo.

U know woman always play victim.

In as much I detest abuse in any form, atimes we let the sleeping dog Lies!

If u find out now,the wife abused the husband verbally before husband abused her physically.

Yemialade:
My name is Juliet and live in Ibadan
I met my boyfriend in Ibadan last year December when he came for business in my town.
We started dating and we are now planning for marriage .
I work as a teacher in a big school in Ibadan ,I just got the job after working in all this small small school .
My boyfriend is a construction manager and he has his own side business also.
So as we are planning I told my boyfriend I will move to kwara and leave my job when we get married o.
He was like I can keep my job if I like it cause I told him how I feel concerning that I just gotten the job which has huge benefit and salary increasement as I will be given promotion too.
So I was like how will I be doing it
He agreed for me to keep the job and we plan that I will be travelling twice in a month to kwara to see my husband.
But this is hard ,it is easy for men to be doing this but it is not for women.
Will this long distance marriage thing destroy my marriage as I will be a travelling wife ,what if temptation came to place for my husband when am not around just because of my job
I want to be there for my family .
What should I do in this kind of situation

My advise.

Tactically and if possible spiritually find out if.

1. Ur guy is a good man.

2. Know his goals
3 Does he align with ur goal?
4. Does he give generously towards his family affair? (ie. preparation towards wedding, how has he contributing? wen u ask him for things, (money, advice, prayers etc) what are responses.


If u can score him 60%, I will advice you to move in with him , immediately after wedding.

Private school is not one of jobs that should prevent u not to move in with ur hubby biko.

Thousand of private schools that u can work with in anywhere u find urself, remember urs is to compliment and not main financer.

Klass99:
At the mention of Ibadan and long distance marriage I remembered a work/business associate of ours in another organisation who died in a car crash on his way to Ibadan to visit his family from Lagos.

This happened in the early days of Goodluck Jonathan's rule, when our security crises wasn't this bad and travelling by road wasn't a high risk venture. In recent times where you have to worry about kidnappers, in addition to other road hazards, I am not a fan of this kind of marriage.

In the light of what I've said it is not easy for any gender to be doing interstate travel by road. Your options;

1. Quit your job and move to Kwara after the wedding, then start a job search while there.
2. Hold off on marriage plans for now and start a job search in Kwara schools, while you continue working in Ibadan. Marry after securing a job in Kwara.
3. Forget marriage for now and focus on enjoying your new job and the perks that come with it, for another year or two before talking marriage.

If I were you I will do option three because I cherish my financial well being, over and above an uncertain future, like what option one presents.

I biliv u read that the new school is a private school? And in private, no job security? You also aware that several ladies grow old without life partners in their lifetime?


Perhaps aunt age is thickening on secondly basis towards menopause.

NB. Working in private school is also uncertainty future as well, infact, it's even worse than Marriage uncertainty.

Result of being a hard guy.

When in actual sense, big and hard guys are the one in oil companies,CBN among others and not jobless mofo.

nairalanda1:
If we kept the subsidy, by the time subsidy costs grow greater than our earned revenue, there would be no money left over for anything...legal or illegal.

The honest truth is that we don't even have enough money for nothing right now.

Below...how subsidy affects our revenue. The times subsidy money fell was when fuel prices were raised, reducing subsidy costs.

Did u read the post and correlate it with ur responses.

U said we dnt have nothing, yet govt officials still leaving large.

Political salaries want increased by 114%

We just start ooo, for those that single praising Tinubu on everything he is doing, they will come weep after six months.

Subsidy gone
Tutution fees removed
Taxes raised
Electricity tariff raised.
Exchange rate vanished

All these severe austerity measures at a go!

Yet govt has not for once anounced austerity measure on their own part.

By now, they supposed to have brought Oransaye's report out and be merging govt agencies.

Telling the whole world how they want to cut lavish spendings in govt.

Reducing political appointment drastically.

U said govt dnt have money, yet

#5billion naira of taxpayers money enter his pocket every month.

His daughter raking money in the market.

His son draining money, but for the masses leaving them to suffer.


I think austerity measure should cut across, infact, start from govt.



Yet blinded followers keep tongue praising and saying nonsense on the internet.

Hamachi:
From DM

Don't u do courtship?

If it's wife doing gragra, it's husband that would cut her wings.

If it's mother interfering more than normal, it's job of husband to cut her excessive.

If it's wife's mother going gaga, it's the job of wife reduce it.

Meanwhile, if it's husband, father in law, mother in law or any of his older siblings.


Everyone has his or her job descriptionscription in marriage.

talented321:
To the men, who will you buy or build house for among your wife and mother first, if you have the finance to build one house. And remember both of them don't have a house. Pls i need opinions.

Stupid question, read what you posted yourself, no wonder u guys find it difficult to marry.

When all ur opinions are childish and foolish.

Pauldollars:
Let's ask ourselves...could Peter Obi have been able to do what President Bola Ahmed Tinubu has done within 2 weeks in making significant changes in all the security architecture of Nigeria?

What is difficult in changing security architecture? Just to order and everyone obeys!


For EFCC & EMEFIELE, he won't have touched them, knowing fully they helped him decimated TINUBU and ATIKU who have trillion of naira to buy votes. (That would be his taught)

Flows001:
Moderators please push this to front page.

My first post on nairaland, so please pardon any error.

Good morning everyone, so let me just go straight to the point.

My elder sister has been dating this guy for more than a year now, she became pregnant months into the relationship and he begged her to keep the child, that he was going to marry her.
So she did and about two months ago, she gave birth to a boy.
Just like he said, he started making moves to marry her, she took him to see my uncle (because our dad is late), alongside with one of his brothers, they also went to see some of my aunties; as well as my Mum. So basically everyone knows them together in our extended family, as well as the street where my sister stays (she resides in Enugu State), because he usually goes to spend time with her and I must admit that he has been really nice to her and made sure she has been comfortable and never lacked anything.
Along the line, my sister started suspecting that this her husband to be has been avoiding picking up strange numbers calling him, she asked him but he told her not to worry.
Fast forward to earlier this week, she stumbled upon a text he received from one unsaved number, the text was begging him to allow the sender to atleast come visit him, apparently; this same guy was already married before and already had two grown children before he left the marriage for reasons which she didn't tell me, so his children have been making efforts to reach their father as their mother went to dump them with his brothers and went her way..

When my sister confronted him, he had to open up to her and apologised, stating that he wanted to start another life and couldn't tell her from the beginning because he didn't want to lose her..

Now my sister is in a dilemma, their traditional marriage was scheduled to hold by the end of this year and he has already started making efforts to officially pay her bride price.
Her two options are:
1. Leave him and become a single mother at this young age (she's a student of NOUN and does business which he supported her to expand).
2. Stay with him and accommodate the children from his former wife.

Please advice 🙏🙏🙏

Where is dilemma? I even tot the husband still married to his first baby mama, she should even been happy that the guy wants to formalize the Marriage.


Tell ur sister to continuing the preparation and be praying towards successfully Marriage biko.

I think it's even good that everything revealed before marriage proper.

Angelfrost:
It will be much worse...! You don't know Nigerians!

You that is not civil servant, u already adjusted prices of ur business/work upward with current inflation. No be so?

For civil servant that receiving 100k , in which he usually used 20k for transport a month before subsidy removal.... how will he survive now that transport cost goes up to 70k a month?


Before you talk, make sure u put urself in one shoe ok.

franchasofficia:
The person you quoted is correct, in Nigerian security setting, the two major security heads that controls Nigeria's security are; Police IG and Chief of Army Staff......the next are DSS and EFCC.


But to be honest, majority of Igbos are happy with Tinubu's appointments so far, we don't care if Tinubu appoints only Yorubas, so long as he is not giving key security heads to Northern Jihadists, we are cool.....we are comfortable with Yorubas or Southsouth or Middlebelt being in charge of key security agencies in Nigeria but not some Northern Jihadists masquerading as Security Chiefs to destroy Nigeria's peace.

Is what u are quoting same with we are saying?

Go back and re-read it. He talks about custodian of weaponry and not security heads.

damble:
More than this

So they will impose several economy austerities, without palliative to cushion the effects?


Has govt announced their own austerity measure too?

The money they want to save from subsidy, won't it go to pockets of political class ultimately?


Have u read that,
School fees will now go up?
Additional taxes on everything?
Electricity tariff increases among others?

All painful economy policies at a goal.


Anyway you guys (citizens) have been leaving like conquered long ago Sha.

SmartPolician:
When they increase the salaries of federal workers, inflation will increase.

Is inflation not increased now?

smsinnigeria:
Only 2 security agencies are visible and have more control over Nigeria weaponry. They are the Army and police and control of the two went to south West. Tinubu is preparing for war. You appointed a Southeasterner Naval chief where there's no warship.
Main this recruitment get as ebi.

So, chief of naval staff doest have control of fighter jets?

Chief of naval staff doest have control of warship? Perhaps super Tucano jet no longer weapon in Igbo dictionary.

Dude stop embracing urself because u want to score cheap bigotry point.

Dotherightthing:
Nonsense!

So many appointments in the list were NOT supposed to be made public.

Anybody in Aso Rock will reserve those positions exclusively for his people.

Also, from precedence no president seems to find a Yoruba worthy enough to be IGP or CG NCS except a Yoruba president. So I can't blame Tinubu for doing the needful.

That's it, all those small ranks(commanders and co) need not to made public, infact this first time of anouncing such position.

Klass99:
Ehn ehn tell me something! Lol and smh, this might work with a certain kind of woman not all women. And you don't seek to control or manipulate the mind of a woman or any human being for that matter. You guide, lead, teach and influence by actions and example, not mind control.

The mind of a woman is like a kid's, you can control and manipulate - yet we took you out of the garden of eden and we are still taking you down today, largely due to the lack of self control/indiscipline majority of your gender exhibits through their polygamous and "very logical" nature .

Hope u know how the life of personality you took from garden of eden ended.

I biliv I posted my comment because I know it's not all men who know how to be in charge of his woman (Marriage)

I repeat, any man who can't control his wife (by mean of manipulations or fear or whatever) such husband must learn how to become wife in such Marriage.

If I say control wife, that is not synonymous to turning wife to slave, servant or machine o, but control her mind to do ur biddings in other for u to have peace.


....... madam, even u urself know that, if man really in charge (control)of u, you usually ignore many things that odnarily you might be complaining of. Hope u know by ignoring,it translates to peace in marriage.

Guys and men please endeavor u are in control of ur woman's mind before you finally go into Marriage and you should always trying hard to make sure u re in that position even after marriage.

Be in charge of marriage not necessarily means u enslaved or turns her to dummy, but to make her to give you peace in marriage.

Immediately, husband loose authority over his wife/household, the Marriage will become toxic.

Mind of woman is just like kid, the more u can manipulate or control the kid, is the level of peace such kid will give parents

Caramia2020:
What if what happens to your late cousin happens to u in 5 years time? Because of a woman u are now labeling your late cousin infertile not minding whether it's the woman that damage her womb during abortion like that other lady? Happiness is free but don't bring your complain to us later on when jungle mature. I believe you guys have started having sex. Continue.

Abi oooo, only want court of public opinions to validate what they have been doing in the secret, see how he labeled his cousin and made the wife innocent before public.

Anyway, man that has been having different failed relationship wants to marry widow of his cousin. Time will tell.

seborrhic:
Assuming SR was even close to a properjournalistic news medium with an editor,this story after being read by the editor would have been thrown to the trash bin.
Just another evidence to prove what I have always said about SR,a beer parlour/shekpe joint sourcing blog.

If u wise, you would have known that, SR has made his own money on the post already, that, it's contacted to blackmail Bala

Any woman drink alcohol where is boyfriend/husband not present, should ready to face any consequences thereafter.

Not even ur father, ur blood brother , infact not ur close female friends.


If she eventually Marries the same guy that he is current her fiance, the Marriage is doom even before it started

gift2xl:
The problem will have is that we don't do proper investigation, we only speculate.
Asari is 75 percent right, let's call a spade a spade if we want to grow. Even the Asari is not left out.

This is not about demoralizing the military but investigate and for anyone involved in such illicit act to desist for the growth of the nation.

For how long will this continue.
Nigeria belongs to all of us.

Abi let govt probe accounts of officers and their spouses that have manning the creeks (past and present) to know if it's he is right or false

Freedom2023:
Please Sir, can u help me with two thousands pls?

Go and tell you trusted friend that u normally share ur secret with and not public forum.

Freedom2023:
Oga, it is better to confess ur sins to your Friend than to a Catholic Priest or any so-called Pastor who will use your confession as sermon on Sundays

And ur friend cannot turn to town cryer that broadcast your secret in village?


U people stop demonlising religion ok.

If u can't do and other want, it shouldn't bring heart attack to u ok.


If you go to any religion places(church/mosque) ,that doesn't say something that will make sit upright. Oga, u are going to club house and not religion center.

Divoc19:
How about those that didn't marry for financial security and the marriage still didn't work out because they other party is not ready... Well, Only matured minds will understand I need not try to make you see any point here

Hope u saw the 2nd factor I posted.

LUST (Handsomeness, Beautiful, 6 pack, big yanch, huge boobs, dressing expensive)

All these dont really synonymous to PURE LOVE as people assume, they normally fade like lightining within a micro-second.


What u re passing through is either you or ur hubby fell for each other based on LUST from very beginning . My sister, the LUST has since disappeared, thats why your marriage suddenly became bore and latter agravated to toxic situation.

People like Olu and Silva Jacob, Mr and Mrs Adeboye among others have married for ages, yet they still relate with each other like Tommy and Jerry in their old age.

Divoc19:
Even the Bible said so.

If your relationships aren't working or lasting just know it might not be for you.

If you love yourself so much that you can hardly put anybody's need before your own, it won't work.

Love expires. It's good character from both parties, respecting each others needs and having the same dreams and goals in life that can work.

I use to be told marriage is a battlefield, for better for worse.

I realized it was a lie after 11years of seeking attention from someone who was not ready.

Peace Out

Using ur own toxic predicament to generalise.


Not until you girls stop marrying for lust/ financial security but for pure love.

Lust wanes quickly but love keeps bonding the couple stronger and stronger as couple ages.

Women should stop marrying a man for financial security, no husband will give u 100% of your needs, if you biliv that, marrying a man, will give you financial guarantee, you would soon be disappointed, which would turn back to affect the marriage.

Uhmmmmmm, everyone with own fetish.

Married women need to be extraordinary careful with opposite gender, nobody knows the mind of who is crazy to sex woman at all cost.