Durabest: Good evening to everyone here.After the dead of our father in year 2000 my elder Brother called our father's lawyer to come and read out our fathers will,he came and do as our father has instructed and 5m was paid to a fixed account for me,but with instruction that i must be up to 20yrs before i will be able to make use of it.To cut the story short i invested in enviromental management and it involves management of waste and many others.So i have these guy as a cousin each time he pays me visits in my office he always feel ashame anytime my workers are around maybe he came and i'm not around he will be telling them how iretative he felt any time he comes around my office.So two years ago i got a contract to manage enviromental waste for two differents companies that is involved in oil busines,My cousin whom was ashame just graduated and a family meeting was called to see how we can assist him which i support the idea and we raised 8m now he's calling me to employ him that he's broke.
What happened to the 8m you people raised for him
Before you employ him remind him of his dirty comments he made about the job and ask him if truly he wants to join
Make sure he does exactly whatever others are doing and don't give him. Special preference
Domipraiz: Good evening to you all. I don't know if this is the right place to drop this.
Am a married man. I lived in the same compound with my best friend sister. We Just moved into the neighborhood not too long (11 months ago). My friend's sister is also married with kids.
Let me go straight to the point, ever since we moved into the compound this woman has been disturbing my wife with gossip. She's a full house wife while my wife is running a M.sc programme but due to ASUU strike, she has being at home. This woman will come to my wife and talk bad things about everyone living in the neighborhood including those living in our compound. Most funny thing about her is that once she leave our apartment, she's moving into the next apartment.
My wife and I have studied her very well that most time we try to avoid, ignore or resist her from coming to our house but to no avail. Not that I can't warn her to stop coming but am trying to avoid issues that will arise between me and my friend and also her husband.
She was keeping malice with another woman (Mrs Adelaku) in our compound because the woman ignored her totally as a result of her gossip.
Last two weeks Mrs Adelaku came to our apartment to invite my wife to her brother's wedding and as a result of that she thinks my wife is getting closer to that woman.
Yesterday she came to our house and confronted my wife of gossiping with the other woman (Mrs Adelaku) about her. That when neighbors are trying to settle issues between her and Mrs Adelaku that she quoted my wife. She accused my wife of telling Mrs Adelaku everything she has being telling her. And also tell my wife not to confront Mrs Adelaku.
But my wife went to Mrs Adelaku that same day to confront her but she swear with the bible and everything she has that she never tell her anything related to that. That perphers she and my wife are not a gist partner if not for the wedding invitation that she brought.
With anger, my wife went back to this woman (my friend sister) and tell her what the woman said. She later apologies to my wife that it was a trick. That she just wants to know their discussing that when she came with the wedding I.V she discovered that the woman (Mrs Adelaku) stayed a little bit longer in our apartment.
Ever since my wife has developed so much hatred for her/ her husband and even my friend that she doesn't want to see anyone of them again in our apartment.
Am so sorry for the long story, am not to good in this. Kindly bear with me.
What can I do in this situation? Matured mind please, thanks.
Men don't quarrel, women quarrel more
Am glad she has quarrel with thar amebo
Let both of them stay the way they are now, it will put an end to all future and past gossips
Then as for you and your friend, you guys should continue relating as if nothing happens
Don't visit him, he too won't visit you for now till things gets better
Your wife may change her mind over him but not with his wife
Fedrams: I went to a gear mecho workshop today and I observed they are using forte oil as Gear oil for one Camry muscle car. I asked the mecho boy why they are not using good atf. He said forte oil is also good for gear. Is the oil good for gear
I use the same oil to service my car for years and I don't intend to change it
Rubbiish: But any man she marries will later find out sooner or later, so what's the point hiding her? It's best she is open from the onset. Any man that desire her will still marry her
I never mentioned hiding her, pls read again
I asked where will she keep her child incase she wants to visit her man
There is no way she will go into a relationship, with out mentioning her child to the man, it's not a big deal to have a child out of wedlock, some men of certain category wants such women dearly
Ammmy: I have a daughter out of wedlock few years back, when I was pregnant of her I was scared because I had no tangible amount of money in my account. When I finally gave birth to her, money started flowing in. I did a business and I was able to save up to 1million naira in my account. I gave my daughter everything she wanted. I was so happy she came into my life because the favours I was getting was extraordinary.
My mum stayed with me at that time so it was easy for me. At a point, my mum decided to retire to the village. She suggested that I should let her take my daughter with her so that I can get a better job and also get married. She doesn't want my daughter to be an obstruction. I thought about it for a while and I agreed with her.
It's been 3years now. Husband I no see, job I no see, money stopped flowing. Money in account started reducing now I'm so scared of what will become of my financial status. When my daughter was staying with me I was even having suitors then but I couldn't pick because wanted to concentrate on my daughter. Now I'm lonely. My daughter used to cheer me up and keep me active when she was with me.
Today a thought came to my mind saying I should go and bring my daughter back that can't I see she was my good luck charm?
Please what do y'all think?
Well, your mind could be playing you
If you can afford to keep her with you and allow male visitors in your house who may want to sleep with you because you can't visit him going about looking for where to keep your daughter, then you can go ahead and bring her
But i think you should just leave her with mum and still continue your struggle
I am very sure men flocks around you, but probably they are not upto the standards you want
Now that you are a single mum, you have to reduce your standards because you may likely get a man around your class and level
gameova: Thanks alot sir. I appreciate. I'm really trying my best but it seems not enough but I believe God will make a way for me soon or send a helper.
Have you tried teaching as a job for the time being
Hadeynike001: Good day family,please help me am tired of my marriage.my husband's life is being ruined by betting.He bet virtually every penny. My husband started betting 5years ago.family,friends,pastor and myself had adviced him,he will look sober but at the end he will still go back to it. He doesn't have a kobo in his account.He earn below 100k but I told him if we plan well with my own little salary we will achieve something good.we have 2kids. He drop money for feeding whenever he like.He call different people begging for money to feed us after betting his salary away.I love my husband but I don't know how to help him. I need your advice,please
If you think he is really sober about it and he wants to come about of it a D he is qjito cooperate
You can discuss with him I will how Teo of you will agree that his salary will be paid into your account
Then any time he needs money, you will screen him before giving his or you place him on certain amount weekly
If he agrees then you guys can use that method to withdraw him from such wasteful spending
But I'd he refuses the idea them he is not yet ready to come out of it
Mathematricks: I don't even know the meaning of snacks cos nothing bellefulls me except swallow. I think my younger sister initiated me into this habit.
I'll be trekking most of my waka today — no thanks to biscuits.
What a life!
We learn by experience and every sufferings teaches us lessons
Just this morning, I was given 1.5k as tfare to go look for work and after all said and done, I was left with only 600. Cos I really went to a lot of places.
But the onus of the matter is that I just bought 2 #50 biscuits (#100) some minutes ago. And I'm now left with only #500 for tomorrow.
I'm afraid I will finish the 5h on biscuits this night. I don't know what to do.
nlfpmod mynd44
Is good to eat biscuits as snacks but not as a habit
You have to discipline your throat so that you don't eat your transportation on biscuits then you start trekking to search for job
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mollyfq: I recently changed my microwave, and I'll ask my husband if he hasn't had time to throw the old one away. I could give it away for free. This microwave was already five years old, and it wasn't working very well. Sometimes the food in the plate would stay cold, and the plate would get very hot, several plates even burst in the microwave. And after that, I wanted to replace the old appliances with the newer of the best microwaves https://askthehomegeek.com/best-microwaves-without-turntable/. I love that microwaves have a grill function, you can cook casseroles, baked chicken, and toast soup.
Pls can you recommend a microwave for me and I prefer manual I have a soft touch but the panel is bad and can't be replaced
Englandboy: Please where can I get a gas leak detector have gone around asking people that sells gas cylinder parts and cooker parts they don't have it but on the look on there face it seems as if they never heard of it before .
Why not put your cylinder outside to avoid any good reason why you want it
SeriouslySense: Total food deprivation is not advisable. Food is a necessity, maybe not getting the expensive or delicious food , will make her think a twice another time.
If you read my post well I didn't mention food, so I don't know why your post was mentioning food on my comments
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWM7VHYuj0A A woman has taken to social media to reveal that she just parked out from her matrimonial home less than a year after getting married.
The lady used a moving truck to pack her belongings and move to a new place, noting that she was married for six months.
She shared a video which showed the truck driving out of the premises with furniture and other household items loaded unto the back.
The video caption read: “Starting over!”
“Left my marriage after 6 months.”
In another clip, the woman was seen moving into her new home properly and arranging things.
SeriouslySense: Some tips to hold such child accountable.
What Can I Do About My Child’s Destructive Behavior? It’s a good idea to wait until your child has calmed down before giving them the consequences.
Don’t say to your child, “Well, I hope you liked that vase you just broke because that just became your Christmas present!” That will likely escalate the situation and may lead to more destruction. Instead, wait it out, and when things are calmer, let them know how they will make amends for the damages.
Below are some ideas for consequences and how to approach the conversation.
Make Sure Your Child Knows the Rules Tell your child that destroying property is not acceptable, not in your home, and not in the rest of the world either. Be clear in your expectations and what the consequences will be if your child does destroy your property. Be very clear that frustration is not an excuse for destroying property.
Suggest Alternative Behaviors Talk with your child during a calm moment about things they can do instead of breaking things when they get upset and frustrated. If they need to release some physical energy, what are some non-destructive activities they can engage in? How can they learn some more effective ways to cope with their emotions?
One mom told us her 12-year-old daughter has a trampoline she jumps on to release pent-up energy. Another parent bought his child stress balls to squeeze when he’s feeling as if he’s going to lose control. The child was able to use these at school as well.
You can also let your child know they can count in their head until the negative feeling goes away. This will help them realize that, eventually, the feeling of frustration and anger does start to alleviate on its own, even if they don’t act on it. Your child can also use journaling, music, drawing, clay, or any other non-destructive activity they might be interested in to release feelings.
Determine if Natural Consequences Are Enough Some children break their own things when they’re upset or angry. If your child gets angry, throws their phone, and it breaks, the natural consequence is that they no longer have a phone. Don’t buy them a new one. We call this a natural consequence, and it’s one of the best opportunities for your child to learn that their behavior matters.
Hold Your Child Accountable No matter the reason for your child’s behavior, they need to be held accountable. If your teenager puts a hole in the wall that costs $100 to fix, how will you get that money back? You may offer opportunities for them to “work it off” around the house through chores.
If your child is genuinely remorseful for their behavior, they’ll be willing to work it off. If not, you’ll need to use more creative ways of recouping that money.
How much do you usually spend on school clothes at the mall? $200? Well, if your child isn’t willing to work off their debt, you may choose to give them $100 for their clothes instead. They’ll still get clothes, but maybe from a less expensive store. Wearing no-name jeans might make them uncomfortable enough to stop and think before they break things again in the future.
Take a minute to identify in what ways—even small ways—you spend money on your child. Think of things that aren’t necessities. Remember, there’s a difference between needs and wants. Your child needs to eat. But they want McDonald’s. As their parent, you’re obligated to provide them with food, but you’re not obligated to pay for McDonald’s. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich at home is sufficient.
When to Involve the Police You will likely respond to your child’s destructive behavior based on several factors: your child’s age, the extent of damage that was done, and the frequency of your child’s destructive behavior. You may even choose to make a police report if the destruction of your property is severe enough or frequent enough.
What if your 12-year-old gets angry and breaks a lamp in the house? You may decide it’s sufficient to have him bring his lunch to school (rather than pay for hot lunches) until the object he broke is paid for.
But what if your 15-year-old smashes your car windshield, causing thousands of dollars in damage? You may decide it warrants a police report. And it may be something that requires such a report for insurance purposes.
Whether you involve the police is a decision only you can make as a parent. The benefit of making a report is that you’re starting a paper trail even if your child isn’t charged. This paper trail is necessary if your child does end up in the court system and you need written proof to back up your claims and get them the services they may need.
Suppose your child is at a point where they’re enraged, breaking things left and right, and they appear to be escalating to the point of being a danger to themselves or others. In that case, calling the police is appropriate as a safety precaution.
When in doubt, ask yourself, “What would I do if this was a neighbor’s kid?” If your neighbor’s 11-year-old-son causes minor damage to your property, and it’s the first offense, you might try to work something out with his parents. But what about for more serious issues? At what point would you consider the damage severe enough to make a police report? And how do you think a neighbor would respond to your child if they exhibited the same level of property damage while at their home?
Related content: When to Call the Police on Your Child
Consequences Are a Learning Opportunity Try to think of property destruction as a learning opportunity. Your job as a parent is to prepare your child for adult life. For adults, if you destroy property, there are consequences. Sometimes those consequences are financial and sometimes legal. You want to respond to your child’s destructive behavior in a way that leaves no doubt about what they will experience should they engage in this behavior outside your home.
One parent shared his reluctance to give consequences for his child’s destructive behavior:
“She was just really upset when she kicked a hole in the wall. She felt terrible afterward.”
Maybe so, and it’s okay if your child appears to have remorse for their actions, but they still must be held accountable. In her adult life, if that same young lady is in front of the judge after smashing in her ex-boyfriend’s taillights and says, “I’m really sorry, Your Honor. I was just so upset,” it’s not going to save her from consequences.
Keep your Own Emotions in Check Parents often feel angry—even furious—when their child damages their property. That’s completely understandable. Property destruction is a personal violation, and it hurts to have a child treat something that we’ve worked hard for with such little respect. Nevertheless, remind yourself that this is about your child’s poor coping and not about you personally. Doing so will make you respond more effectively. And it will make you feel better.
BluntCrazeMan: As a parent or a teacher to this type of kid,, how would you handle the child when he/she goes wild like this??
Havemercylord: Hello everyone,i am 34 years old and i am here to get honest advice from experienced people. My story will be short and precise.
I met a girl in April,2022 (this year), she already had 3 kids, TWO for a man and ONE for a man another man.
Before I met this girl, i have what I need at least, i can rent a house, buy my basic needs and even have savings.
But since i met her, i was turned down in all the places where i was promised Good jobs and contracts.
When we went to make consultation, we were told she belongs to water spirit that she refused to give sacrifices or relate well with her fellow water mates, that the more she didn't do the right things for them, my own Life Will be affected too.
She is pregnant for me right now and I have not had any child before.
My question is this, is there anyone here who has had similar experience?
We were told to appease her water mates, that afterwards, things will change for good.
And i have also heard from several people that ,most times after doing all the sacrifices, things might not change much for the man.
And all these sacrifices cost money!!!
WHAT CAN I DO?
SHOULD I LEAVE HER OR FIGHT THE BATTLES WITH HER?
Since she is pregnant with your child
Fight the battle and do the sacrifice, it's a 50/50 thing
What you should be more concerned about is her not initiating your child as an exchange
But trt your best on her before you know what next
spyroet: Am in luv with a dump girl she is beautiful and hard working about 24 years of age also a virgin, am planning of marrying her but the problem is how will my parents and friends react that why do i settled for less. she is a wife material very homely and hard working not those olosho of a girl we have today, so am realy considering the issue Opinions are welcome
If you are capable of standing the odds in communication both with you and your children to be
Family › Re: My Cousin That Was Once Ashame Of My Company Is Now Asking Me For Employment by frozen70(f): 4:51am On Sep 11, 2022
