Gerrard59's Posts

Nairaland Forum › Gerrard59's Profile › Gerrard59's Posts

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 (of 574 pages)

Romance › Re: Most Men Don’t Have Sense – Actress, Moet Abebe Reveals Why She’s Still Single by Gerrard59(m): 3:36am On Dec 04, 2023

Wasn't she dating one dude who looked biracial or something? With statements like this, she is better off doing what Ini Edo did and live a quiet life. These women should know the environment they reside in. Na so Seyi Shay talk say love no dey Nigeria. I wonder what she is up to as she has been quiet lately.

Romance › Re: Advice To Young People Who Want To Wed by Gerrard59(m): 2:27pm On Dec 03, 2023

Miyachi:
Settle her family. Na goat you dy buy?

What makes you think that the bride price will not be paid if you do a court wedding?

All these customs and traditions are man-made but we prefer to force unbearable burdens on people all in the name culture. Those that eloped with their brides, are they no longer living or has their union not been blessed with children?

I personally believe that all you need to do is to ask for my daughters hand in marriage, if she want's to marry you, I go ahead and give my blessings. You don't need to pay one dime. Life is that simple.

Mom007: Is the bold not traditional marriage? Must I pay the entire village because I want to marry your daughter?

Education › Re: Can A Secondary School Certificate Holder Be Termed “Educated”? by Gerrard59(m): 12:38pm On Dec 02, 2023

Jeux:
I just read a post on romance section and it got me wondering if a school cert holder can be said to be educated .

Yes, depending on the school and grades obtained in WASSCE.

Family › Re: Single Mothers' Household Produce The Worst Kids — American Lady(vid,pix) by Gerrard59(m): 2:18am On Dec 02, 2023

Dennisochampa:
.... Who force u believe anything?? Believe what you want to.. It's a free world..

No. Readers should know that statistics from all over the world show the same result. So, it is not subjective because one random Dennisochampa said it was so.

You win debates with statistics, not I no fit lie.

1 Like

Family › Re: Single Mothers' Household Produce The Worst Kids — American Lady(vid,pix) by Gerrard59(m): 2:16am On Dec 02, 2023

Gajagojo:
But let us analyse that a bit

What is a single mother? A woman who never married and started having children?
A woman who married and got divorced? A woman who got married whose husband died
Definition is very important
Are those three scenarios the same or are they different? If different,how?

The prevailing notion is a woman who got divorced, intentionally or out of marital circumstances. A single mother could be defined as one whose father of her children is alive but is not involved in the raising of the children, either emotionally, behaviorally and financially.

Let us assume they are different e.g . The father died ? Does it matter if he died when the mother is pregnant,the child is aged 2, 6 10 or 14

Again even when married we see situations where the men are never at home because of work e.g soldiers,uniformed men ,oil workers get. We see situations where people are married and the father is deadbeat, alcoholic,violent gambling etc

The first bold, while the woman can be described as a widow, she effectively becomes a single mother due to the situation.

Second bold, some of those male professionals still play a role when they are physically available. In the topic of discussion, the men DON'T play a role. It is perfectly standard to expect irresponsible children from a family where the father is a deadbeat, alcoholic or a chronic gambler. I categorise children from such families as raised by single fathers. The man's presence is minimally felt.

It is intellectually lazy to make such sweeping generalisations.
Babangida is an orphan.
Andrew Jackson US president was an orphan
Barack Obama and Oprah Winfrey were raised by single mothers
There are So many things that make a difference to affect outcome e.g in my view one of the most important today in Nigeria is growing up in poverty in an urban area.
It is similar in America
If you grow up with the following things in your neighbourhood you are at risk

Betting shop
Liquor shop
Drugs on the street
Prostitution on the streets
Gangs on the streets

You are the one intellectually lazy because you are using exceptions to judge the situation. Statistics across the globe - cultures, religions, country-specific laws - show that children raised by single mothers are the most disadvantaged. Why should that be disregarded because IBB or Obama became presidents of their respective countries?

All those girls doing hook up today ,the guys doing rituals were they all raised by single mothers?
People always look for evidence to confirm their prejudices
When the evidence is contradictory,they play ostrich..
Many women,a generation ago survived the civil war and raised kids as widows they deserve respect .

In the US, most porn stars were raised by single mothers. The hookup situation in Nigeria is majorly tied to poverty, and even at that, the probability of being in poverty is higher in a single-parent setting, especially single mother, than in a two-parent household.

If you are born in Ajegunle you are already disadvantaged compared to someone born in Ikoyi

While that is true, in the US where the OP is based, children raised by single mothers are more disadvantaged than those raised by two parents in the same environment. And if you know your environment is worse, why exacerbate the situation by raising children as a single parent?

The positive outcomes you see from single-mother families in Nigeria can be attributed to religion, the culture of shame and communal living. However, as southern Nigeria gets more westernised, we will begin to mirror the African American community. There is an antecedent.

1 Like

Family › Re: Single Mothers' Household Produce The Worst Kids — American Lady(vid,pix) by Gerrard59(m): 1:58am On Dec 02, 2023

Dennisochampa:
This is subjective and not entirely true...
Alot of great men and women today were raised by single parents....
It all depends on the circumstances surrounding raising a kid as a single parent...
A kid raised in an abusive or toxic environment by both parents will most likely turn out even worse than kids raised by single parents...
While a kid raised by a single mother for example, knows that he or she needs to make the momma proud and will often do their best to grow well....

Research studies generated historically to date prove you wrong. Why should a random a Dennisochampa be believed when there are research studies on the same topic dating as far as 100 years ago?

2 Likes

Family › Re: Single Mothers' Household Produce The Worst Kids — American Lady(vid,pix) by Gerrard59(m): 1:56am On Dec 02, 2023

Juoflife1:
I am raising my child alone and I challenge anyone with a child the same age to a character test lol. A bad parent/s is bad irrespective of weather both parents are around or not. Stop with the single mother noise already.

1 or 2 out of 10 is not a majority. People work with the majority, aka norm, not the minority, aka exception.

I have been accused publicly and privately of being a simp, but this is a topic I make it clear that single mothers raise the most societally disadvantaged children. It is statistics.

Please respect numbers.

2 Likes

Family › Re: Single Mothers' Household Produce The Worst Kids — American Lady(vid,pix) by Gerrard59(m): 1:53am On Dec 02, 2023

Boondocxs:
Shut up your mouth is it her fault that she’s a single mother
Why are we not blaming the fathers for being non existent in their kids lives
The pick me attitude is shocking

Men should also get the blame, but it is important women know the situation they are entering. It is why both parties, especially women, since they get the sticks more, should be extra cautious regarding who they have babies for.

It is not pick-me, but statistics. Statistics all over the world prove her right. In fact, the foundation of poverty in a child's life in the US is increasingly tied to being raised by a single mother.

1 Like

Family › Re: Single Mothers' Household Produce The Worst Kids — American Lady(vid,pix) by Gerrard59(m): 1:50am On Dec 02, 2023

The statistics prove her correct. Across the world, children from single parent homes tend to be poorer than their counterparts from two-parent households. It is why I laugh when some alfa meils say they will marry baby mamas. They write/speak out of ignorance. In Japan, the poorest families are headed by single mothers. In the US, the same applies. Children from single mother-raised families tend to be poorer than their counterparts from single fathers. It is why most Japanese women would rather remain single than have a child out of wedlock, as that is the surest and fastest route to poverty. On the other hand, most Japanese men will not touch a single mother with a pole. They dread the situation. In Singapore, it is even worse because the government will not be interested in your well-being, and considering that public housing is tied to the cohesion of the family unit, it means a single mother stands the risk of never being allocated a public housing unit.

All over East Asia, the rates of wedlock are very low, and this has led to better-raised children with high educational attainment and respect for rules and society. This has resulted in the top three safest cities in the world being in Asia.

That said, there are nuanced differences between a widow and a single mother regarding raising a family. Also, I would say the positive outcomes of some children raised by "single mothers" in Nigeria were because of the communal and shaming culture of Nigeria. But as Nigeria, especially southern Nigeria, gets increasingly westernised, we will begin to see the outcomes exemplified by African-American families.

4 Likes 1 Share

Food › Re: What Is Your Favourite Nigerian Native Dish? (pictures) by Gerrard59(m): 6:49pm On Dec 01, 2023

Your title has dishes, but your example is a delicacy.

Is Abacha a delicacy or a dish?

If delicacy, mine is Bole (Port-harcourt styled).

1 Like

Romance › Re: "The World Is Designed To Kill Men" – Actor Deyemi Okanlawon by Gerrard59(m): 5:54pm On Dec 01, 2023

God1000:
True talk.

The responsibilities are just too many
I'm working with a very young boy and he sends money home every month to his parents from his little salary, the life of a man is not easy, whether old or young, unless the person is stingy and irresponsible.

I often feel bad if someone ask me for help and I'm unable to provide it, though I know that I can't help everyone in my life, how do I say No to certain requests from my cousins, nieces and nephews schooling in different uni when they ask for my help, also neighbors at home and friends at work.

While what you stated is true, I did not see the financial benefits for a man.

2 Likes 1 Share

Foreign Affairs › Re: "Japan Is For The Japanese" Rally In Japan Against Immigration And Diversity by Gerrard59(m): 7:03am On Dec 01, 2023

Acidosis:
One of my major concerns about migration. These folks can wake up anytime and decide to "ronu" calmly or aggressively. Living in an hostile environment won't ever make sense.

My argument against that belief is that it is better to reside with racists in a prosperous land than live with tribalists in a poor area. Humans are tribal, but better being amongst wealthier ones.

4 Likes 1 Share

Foreign Affairs › Re: "Japan Is For The Japanese" Rally In Japan Against Immigration And Diversity by Gerrard59(m): 2:11am On Dec 01, 2023

CHRISTFUCKER:
Source

Link to an article perhaps

I disagree that japs are the second populous country, after China it's Russia fosho

This shows you don't understand geographical nomenclature. Russia is not in East Asia.

https://www.economist.com/asia/2022/05/19/asias-advanced-economies-now-have-lower-birth-rates-than-japan

2 Likes

Foreign Affairs › Re: "Japan Is For The Japanese" Rally In Japan Against Immigration And Diversity by Gerrard59(m): 1:54am On Dec 01, 2023

ednut1:
live with it So how will they country get taxes and pensions to pay the aged and retired. Immigration is not to increase birth rate na. But a quick fix to get the economy running . If businesses cant get successors most times they close down

What you have stated is true, which is why policymakers have to solve the issue of the pension system or else they will have to accept more immigrants, which risks the natives being the minorities. I have asked Japanese the question of immigration, and their response is almost the same: "Yes, we know there is a need for some sort of immigration, but it should be at a controlled number and not all kinds of immigrants are welcomed".

I asked one recently what she thinks of accepting Somalian refugees into the country; her face changed, and she looked so worried. grin

2 Likes 1 Share

Foreign Affairs › Re: "Japan Is For The Japanese" Rally In Japan Against Immigration And Diversity by Gerrard59(m): 1:49am On Dec 01, 2023

CHRISTFUCKER:
What's your source that jap are the second populous country??

Gerrard59:
Immigration does not increase birth rate, it only increases the population. Japan is East Asia's second most populous country after China, and considering China is an anomaly at over a billion, one can say Japan is the most populous East Asian nation. Also, Japan has the highest birth rate in East Asia, higher than China, Taiwan, Hong Kong and every other Confucian society in the region as far as Singapore and even amongst Chinese Malaysians. South Korea has the lowest birth rate across the developed world, even after spending over $200BN in almost twenty years to alleviate the problem. Taiwan has spent $3BN to solve the same issue, yet both countries have lower birth rates than Japan. It is common to see families with at least two children here, but rare in China and South Korea. Marriage rates have plummeted across the rich world.

1 Like

Foreign Affairs › Re: "Japan Is For The Japanese" Rally In Japan Against Immigration And Diversity by Gerrard59(m): 12:35am On Dec 01, 2023

ednut1:
But they have the worst birth rate. Only immigration can save them .

Immigration does not increase birth rate, it only increases the population. Japan is East Asia's second most populous country after China, and considering China is an anomaly at over a billion, one can say Japan is the most populous East Asian nation. Also, Japan has the highest birth rate in East Asia, higher than China, Taiwan, Hong Kong and every other Confucian society in the region as far as Singapore and even amongst Chinese Malaysians. South Korea has the lowest birth rate across the developed world, even after spending over $200BN in almost twenty years to alleviate the problem. Taiwan has spent $3BN to solve the same issue, yet both countries have lower birth rates than Japan. It is common to see families with at least two children here, but rare in China and South Korea. Marriage rates have plummeted across the rich world.

Furthermore on immigration not leading to higher birth rates. Germany opened to Turks more than thirty years ago, yet the same Germany has low birth rates today. Sweden, France and the United Kingdom too. The United States, the world's most immigrant-friendly country, also suffers from low birth rates.

The solution?

Live with it. This is because, ACROSS the rich world, birth rates are dwindling. The richer a society is, the lower the birth rate. It's a given. In Nigeria, the south has a lower birth rate than the north. Literally, because the south is way more prosperous than the north. Even amongst Muslims in the south, they've fewer children than their Northern counterparts. Prosperity leads to fewer children.

6 Likes 3 Shares

Foreign Affairs › Re: "Japan Is For The Japanese" Rally In Japan Against Immigration And Diversity by Gerrard59(m): 12:20am On Dec 01, 2023

lastkingsman:
Have you heard about universal basic income proposal? The reason while it's being proposed is that robotics + AI will eventually replace repetitive jobs/tasks which is where majority of jobs lies.

Huge population will become a disadvantage in near future. Productivity will have a new definition.

For poor countries, not wealthier ones. Robots don't pay taxes, nor do they consume goods and services. Although, it is rampant in Japan, but few places have robots taking care of the elderly or would accept such model.

1 Like

Politics › Re: Tinubu Targets 18% GDP Growth In His First Budget As President by Gerrard59(m): 7:09am On Nov 30, 2023

tsdarkside:
you dont understand something....
they will borrow according to this growth projection....

While that is true, I hope Guyana learns from another black country - Ghana - who did exactly what you stated there. Ghana borrowed and borrowed and borrowed, but as commodities prices, especially oil, plummeted and interest rates soared, she found it hard to finance her debts. In reprieve from the IMF, she got rescued, for the 17th time since independence in 1957.

2 Likes 1 Share

Politics › Re: Tinubu Targets 18% GDP Growth In His First Budget As President by Gerrard59(m): 7:00am On Nov 30, 2023

BigIyanga:
What misinformation? Major economic proposal of BAT is to move Naija economy to $1tn in 8 yrs as enunciated by CBN governor and economic advisers. So for you to do that, you would have to grow the economy at annual rate of 15-18%. So they’re saying the same thing.
CBN is already telling banks to recapitalize in anticipation of $1tn economy.
If BAT said that economy would grow at 3.7%, how does he allow his CBN governor to be misleading the public with this unrealistic $1tn GDP projection ?

I really hoped OgaFactCheck responded to this, but till now, nothing don comot.

Politics › Re: Tinubu Targets 18% GDP Growth In His First Budget As President by Gerrard59(m): 6:59am On Nov 30, 2023

seguno2:
Many thanks for sharing this information.
The spectacular Guyana growth rate seems to be from newly discovered oil reserves that they must be managing very well, unlike our own case for the past decades.

The drilling has just started, and royalties paid. So we should wait to see how the funds would be utilised.

Family › Re: Single Nigerian Ladies In Diaspora, Any Reason Why You Turn Down Our Guys? by Gerrard59(m): 3:56am On Nov 30, 2023

Kelechi009:
LOL. Even in the abroad, It is prevalent. The reality of this conversation is, for most of our women, you will have to pay that monthly allowance. It usually does not come in form of monthly allowance but it comes in form of notification of problems. As a guy, you will be told monthly of a woman's problems, and you will have the option of selecting from the list of problems offered to you. Relationships in Nigeria are used to solve problems, and for the record, surprisingly I am not against the line of thought at all. Nigeria has seeded the germ of entitlement in every sector, beginning with our parents lifestyle, civil service, government employees, and private organisations, and it has filtered down to women. We are reaping the seeds we have sown. Once a lady is beautiful, she puts an heavy price on herself. Consider this: a recent dude who is graduate at 25 years old doing an internship at any of the Big 4 will approach a lady of 23 years old; do you think he will be able to maintain any relationships with her on his Internship salary? NO is the answer. It means you have to be littered with cash to be able to land any beautiful lady at all. Emphasis on beautiful because If a woman is ugly, she would go with any poor dude that comes around. So anytime you hear that a woman suffered with a man, ask him to show you the picture of that woman, therein lies your answer.

In terms of financial benefit men derive, the answer is also NO. The benefit is not Finance but in offspring & family unit you have. You're simply paying with cash & women are paying with their bodies (ability to carry babies in the marriage & child care). Trade by provision & trade by nurturing. At the end, no matter how intelligent we become, we will pay that monthly allowance [either directly or indirectly].

Thank you for your perspective. I have always known that a major benefit of marriage is the ability to raise a family within a two-parent household. That formation is undefeated anywhere in the world. It is just I have trained myself to always consider the financial benefits in decisions I make.

At the bold, the issue we have now is when there is a rise in women behaving like men, aka females with masculine traits. Paying to marry a man in a woman's body does not make sense.

1 Like 1 Share

Family › Re: Japa: ‘many Nigerians Trapped In Illegal Marriage Contract Abroad’ by Gerrard59(m): 7:00pm On Nov 29, 2023

Karleb:
Tell me more bro.

Why are latinas not easy to marry?

He mentioned cultural values. What he or a typical Nigerian man will detest is permissible there. Plus, Chilean women are staunchly feminist. Uloma and Moe dey learn work where dem dey. grin

Family › Re: Single Nigerian Ladies In Diaspora, Any Reason Why You Turn Down Our Guys? by Gerrard59(m): 6:58pm On Nov 29, 2023

ednut1:
some even demand monthly allowance from men they are dating. The first time i heard it from a guy who it happened to i shock. To make hair is around 300 dols, Manicure/ pedicure 80 to 100 dols. So they will say if you want me to look good , you should be giving me allowance 😭😭

Our women in Canada? shocked

The Gods forbid! I never liked that mentality, even in Nigeria. I hate it. Fine, I will play my part as a man, but paying a woman I am dating monthly allowance? Then, hookup is better. The analysis has been conducted, and it was found that it is cheaper/more affordable doing hookup than to enter a relationship. With such a thought process, stick to hookup or go celibate.

It is maddening. No wonder other African men flee. I cannot blame them. You see why I question the financial benefits a man derives from marriage. I am yet to see one.

12 Likes 4 Shares

Family › Re: Japa: ‘many Nigerians Trapped In Illegal Marriage Contract Abroad’ by Gerrard59(m): 6:34pm On Nov 29, 2023

ednut1:
Latina no easy to marry. Them get sense. Their family members fit discourage her. Akata own them no need family approval to marry 😆

I remember telling Tensa20 say he should not just cut off Nigerian women. But he has realised it was not as easy as he envisaged. Except he goes to the likes of Bolivia or Paraguay. grin

The Gods forbid! grin

Family › Re: Single Nigerian Ladies In Diaspora, Any Reason Why You Turn Down Our Guys? by Gerrard59(m): 6:32pm On Nov 29, 2023

ednut1:
Spa, multiple vacations, home furnishings, latest car, hair, pedicure and manicure, waxing, dining out, channel bags, designer cloths, Beyonce / Mariah Carey/ Burna shows, investments 😁

Good luck to una then. grin

Family › Re: Single Nigerian Ladies In Diaspora, Any Reason Why You Turn Down Our Guys? by Gerrard59(m): 6:30pm On Nov 29, 2023

kkins25:
you don't need to bet bro... Go on Tiktok match making live streams

Some diasporan ladies be like "I don't mind if he's income isn't as much as mine, as long as he's stable"...... Na that very day I know say Twitter no be real place. I recently joined a Facebook group for singles.. 15k women, all over the world, looking for love. I'm like, ah, don't this beautiful women meet men in real life. Are there no men in their country? Abi, Women outnumber men? I no dey understand the mathematics at all at all.. Same thing on TikTok.

Twitter is a very unrealistic place, at least the American version. The Nigerian version dey try dey realistic. The most unrealistic social media Nigerian sub I have come across is Reddit/Nigeria.

Like Pansoph.ist said, the number of marriageable men is less than marriageable women. So, while men outnumber women globally, the kind of men that women want are fewer than expected.

I have come to the conclusion that all that "talk" about "you don't need anybody to survive" is not for the weak. You're either mentally fortified or have been damaged to the point of no return.. For me, I don't want to be on either end.

Yes, one must be stone-cold person to think so. I was like that, but I don dey change. But nothing changes my desire for money. Money is my focus. Money because of myself, not because of woman.

4 Likes 1 Share

Family › Re: Single Nigerian Ladies In Diaspora, Any Reason Why You Turn Down Our Guys? by Gerrard59(m): 5:47pm On Nov 29, 2023

ednut1:
black africans- Those men dont want them mostly, they are intimidated by them/ they say our women have masculine energy . They don't like the idea of the billing our women do.
Our women too dont want them as they see them as feminine and weak too.

Caribbean and African Americans - some of them have poor family values, have different baby mamas and kids they wont take care of. They cheat without remorse.Mostly not religious ( our women carry religion for head). 😆. And the men prefer whites, fellow AA or Caribbean , latina and Asians over our babes

Interesting.

Over here, many black African men go home to marry and come. Others marry Japanese women. Then, there is a set between black Africans and Caribbean women. There are more black men, black Africans, here than women. So a single black woman who has lived at least five years after school is the one who decided to remain single or was born and bred here (an entirely different concept).

The homogeneity here makes everyone understand their bearing in the society. You guys there are spoilt for choices.

They do 50:50 which our women dont want to hear

So, what do these women use their money for? Dem dey practice "my money is mine, but your own is ours"?

4 Likes

Family › Re: Single Nigerian Ladies In Diaspora, Any Reason Why You Turn Down Our Guys? by Gerrard59(m): 5:39pm On Nov 29, 2023

Smile4mee01:
I have been abroad for a while now and i am curious to know why some of our ladies decline dating or marrying fellow Nigerians in the diaspora. I have tried to date a few any they are often quick to assume i am after them for their

Also, when i am old, i would like to return to Nigeria. Marrying outside would make that transition very difficult.

I study other races, Immigrant groups from India and Asia. they work together well, and don't have these difficulty.

Should i give up on being with a Nigerian or keep trying ?

Regards.

Based on the bold, seek out other black Africans. It depends on where you are based. That is my aim - Kenya, Tanzania, Namibia, Botswana, South Africa, Ghana, Gabon, etc. Even if na Suriname or black from Ecuador, but she must be black. To be fair, some of our men have spoilt our image by marrying for papers. That hurts and humans tend to remember bad deeds more than good. So come clean.

5 Likes

Family › Re: Single Nigerian Ladies In Diaspora, Any Reason Why You Turn Down Our Guys? by Gerrard59(m): 5:27pm On Nov 29, 2023

tosinhtml:
Nibo latu jasi bayi, what did Asians do to you? Me I love Asians like mad. Especially those Koreans. I love their culture and discipline too much.

East Asians are different from South Asians. To me, there is no difference between South Asians and Africans. Then when you consider the likes of Pakistan and Afghanistan, we are better off.

2 Likes

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 (of 574 pages)