₦airaland Forum

Especially for a guy that is not in her age bracket. Both of them won't be on the same page. Most of them still want to explore

Hey stuffs4me is this a fake story?

You see it has nothing to do with hatred for guys. If a lady defiles a little boy, she should not be spared too.

stuffs4me:
These ones hatred for men has blinded these to normal reasoning and they can't even tell a fake story from a real one.

The writer and these unfortunate people that I qouted are misandrists

Mr fake story detector. What part of my post denotes hatred for men? Whether the story is fake or real, rapists of children especially are destroying kids that they are meant to protect.

Try to read with objectivity and get the message instead of reading with a preconceived idea.

He obviously doesn't respect his wife if he is sleeping with another woman. Where is the respect?

Some girls are just dumb and disillusioned.

93Miles:
Nothing really ever goes as planned. Well, that's what makes life exciting.


Keep ya head up..

Yeah. We do what we can and keep moving.

Hmmm Acrimony again.

Jonny2wealth:
I have been following the thread from page one without comments. I have heard different comments which majority is from women as against taking in the girl. why would most women don't like their husband pple? I term it as wickedness, this pple has bin coming as family and if am to say you the newly wedded wife is the stranger, they supported their son / brother to marry u. Now to carry them along is the problem. why will they not like u if u are good. Am not married yet, I made it a principle that no woman can try that with me, as a matter of facts I like agreement hence any lady that cannot welcome any member of my family is not my destined wife. the first lady said no I purse her and the second accepted and right now she is with my mum taking care of my ill nephew. My pple are lovely and they honor my choice, so any woman I bring they accept and love her, why will she not reciprocate? This is one of the reasons why most ladies is lacking good husband. Let educate our young ladies by telling them the truth. no family that love their son and not love the son's wife, the wives are the only always causing problems generating unnecessary hatred

Ok it is settled then. You can bring your entire village to come and live with you and your wife.

93Miles:
Not worse.

Hope your day went as planed

Not exactly but i will live.

93Miles:
How are u doin?

Not bad. And you?

They destroy the little kids they are supposed to protect.

Like there is something special about alcohol that it must drunk.

Wilfredpat22:
Well I thought it was a Nigerian woman that was based in Nigeria, opened the thread and saw she is Abroad based.

Which oyinbo man will look at us when we are walking bleaching corpses used by Yahoo boys

You need to stop bleaching

This is likely to end badly.

It is not even good for the mother of the child. If my daughter gets pregnant, she will figure out how to be a mother and a student at the same time.

Since she was old enough to get pregnant, she should also be ready to face the responsibility. That will be her punishment even though she will still get assistance from family.

Instead of the girl to caution her father, she is encouraging the covertous attitude. Why can't her father buy a car for them as their wedding gift?

The guy should just know what he is getting himself into.

MrPlato:
...



Who Ask You?

I miss road. Sorry

Food

Elder001:
Now I know that the person behind this moniker doesn't have sense.
You once said on this same family section that "making hasty generalizations based on one's experience is a show of stupidity" ,you can't take what you dish to others?

You said "men are clueless" including your husband and father, right?
Noticed? Who do you think you are? A full time housewife wife arguing irrelevant stuffs still think she's doing someone a favour by quoting a post.

You lack wisdom . As usual I expect you to quote me with senseless talk

Keep ranting sweety.

Elder001:
Na women get sense abi?

Making hasty generalizations based on one's experience makes one stupid

Elder you have brought your stupidity here. Welcome.

I have noticed you. Now you can continue what you were doing.

TonyeBarcanista:
What is wrong with that? What is wrong with treating MiL as queen and run errands for her? Your friend has nothing to complain of.


Once again, the fault is your friend! If she can't accept the woman as her mother and be open then she will end up with a DIL that will treat her worse (no be swear na KARMA)


What a pUs5y husband and ingrate son of his mother.


Clueless about evil plot of some Naija women against their In-laws? But some of us aren't clueless.

Even her own mum doesn't visit often and that one stays in lagos. Her mum inlaw is also her mum but when she keeps pitching her husband against her and making them fight a lot, then there is an issue.

If the MIL has to tell her son not to have another child yet, there is an issue. It might be ok with you though.

He is not a p.... or whatever you called him. He was just wise to see that his mum was imposing a lot on his wife and he wasn't ready to marry his mum.

NoToPile:
Acidosis you can't understand, you are a man

Yeah best thing is to love them from afar,it has nothing to do with hate be nice, courteous, polite, respectful but avoid too much closeness and see-finish. It is the day gbege will happen you will know 'you are just a wife'

Men do not understand it because it is their family and their family can never go wrong.

My friend just went cold after so much issues from her mother inlaw. The woman visits a lot and would spend a month and want to be treated like a queen while my friend runs helter skelter cracking her brain on breakfast, lunch and dinner for her(she can be picky).

Her and her husband were having issues because of the mum's constant interference. My friend complained but it didn't stop and so she just went quiet. When her MIL visits, she would be a dutiful DIL and nothing extra. Her hubby noticed her distance but it was late.

It took intervention from her dad and respected family members that resolved it and talked some sense to the husband. Now his mum hardly visits though her and her DIL are cool.

Men are clueless most times.

Winter4:
Even when they are told, they would not adhere. Women should really choose their spouses well o..making sure you discuss issues like this before any wedding.

One service i attended, the pastor told men to allow their wife's mum come when she gives birth instead of their own mums.

It is actually common sense. But common sense is not common for a lot of people apparently.

TonyeBarcanista:
You don't know them and you should ask questions next time.

Her husband is the BOSS of their home, being a boss doesn't mean he won't "consult" or seek opinion of the wife (OPINION) especially when he finds her sensible but he makes the decision.

As a man, his home is also open to his family, they can show up at any time without his permission (quote me) and he can show up at any time in their own houses without their permission. All he had to do is to notify them of his coming ditto them.

My Sister (his wife) can show up at the houses of any of her in-laws and stay as long as she wishes if her husband permit and if necessary, all she has to do is to notify/inform them and that's it. If I want to visit my sister's house, I don't even call her husband! I only tell my sister, she informs her husband and (unconsciously seek/get permission- which she always get), and I go there and stay as long as I desire if I wish and if necessary. That is family!

The kids are so free with each other that you won't even know which kid is for which parent.

My Dear, I don't know the kind of family you have or your mentality but I just showed you a picture of my own family. In my family we have each others back. We are one! My wife is not starting a new family with me, she is integrating into mine while I accept hers as mine.

OP and her comrades should stop exhibiting witchcraft towards in-laws

A boss does not seek anyone's opinion. He only informs on what he has decided. So...no he is not a boss.

Thank God i didn't generalize on all inlaws. My sister also has the best inlaws. Sometimes we say she is even closer to them than us. And all of us together act like one big family.

But that doesn't mean that her husband will just bring someone to stay with them. Couples talk about these things and prefer to help without having to bring people to live with them.

Because of greed.

God forbid that i will have to cook a 300 naira stew. She should keep aspiring to be cheap. Some of us will aspire to cook rich foods.

TonyeBarcanista:
I don't know your family but in mine we stick for each other. Injury to one is injury to all, success of one is success of all, failure of one is failure of all.

I have a sister who is married with 4 kids. She knows I and my siblings have her back anytime. Her husband know that our family got their back, the kids are treated like my own kids. Her husband's family are closely knitted either! They got each other's back and the kids from all sides are more like siblings than cousins. That is family!

This tradition will and must continue in my end, it would in those of my siblings. Those of you that sees nothing good in husband's family are on your own.

Family over everything as long as I breath! Family remains my first love, either the wife integrate herself or she prepare to find her way out of my life because I will not give room for my family division, and I know the kind of family I come from!

And i am sure your sister's husband doesn't treat her like a subordinate and takes decisions without having her in mind. And doesn't treat her like his family is more important than her right?

That is one thing you should learn from them.

cococandy:
Oh The things the naive and ignorant say with authority

It is a pity that many mature men do not understand anything about marriage.

It will shock them when they go for marriage counselling and they tell them to keep inlaws from all sides at bay.

TonyeBarcanista:
My first love remains my family, any woman that is interested in marrying me must accept the reality that she is also married to my family. This doesn't in anyway mean she will be maltreated or whatever!

Meanwhile, denying any member of my family from accessing any benefit accrued to me is witchcraft and I will NEVER give room for such evil. Same way I won't be happy with my brother/sisters should they refuse to see my kids as their own.

A woman that can't accept my family as hers (like the OP and her bunch of comrades) should better consider not even agreeing to settle down with my kind because this evil spirit of isolating "husband's people" will be greatly tamed.

Finally, in my home I make the final decision! My family is my own and they have right to enjoy every benefits accrued to me same as my wife but she must realise this fact. My family is free to visit, live and stay as long as they want in my house but I will be fair to inform/notify my wife for the sake of it. Her family members are also free as long as she seek approval from me (which I will grant anyway). I value family more than anything in life!!!

Let me tell you one truth...if you fall sick and are incapacitated, those family members especially extended will not be the one to stand by you and run helter skelter to make sure you are well.

My mum spent 7yrs of her life taking care of my sick dad. His FAMILY that always came to take and take with their entitled mentality kept their distance.

Thank God my dad treated my mum well and gave her liberty in their home when he was fine. Not the type of man that thinks that he is BOSS and can do anything he pleases.

TonyeBarcanista:
It is not by force for me to marry. It is simple and straightforward! I set ground rules before even proposing, if you like agree, if you don't like you have the choice to reject! It is not by force but FAMILY will never be treated like strangers. Never!

Who said anything about treating your family like strangers?

As i said, you probably did your wife a favour by marrying her.

How you run your own marriage is your kettle of fish. Good luck

TonyeBarcanista:
I call the shot in MY home because I am the BOSS and HEAD.

She has to and must be loyal/submissive to my authority if she really want to be married.

When it comes to my family (parents, siblings, niece etc) NOBODY can prevent them from accessing my home and living as long as they desire

Sounds like you did her a favour by marrying her. I understand the situation. Carry on.

TonyeBarcanista:
Why not? But as the HEAD of the house she need my express approval to bring anyone in (I have no problem though) but in my case I only need to inform her.

My family owns me and all about me.

When you get married you will realize that being the head of the house does not make you a dictator or the sole decision maker. Don't be deceived.

Acidosis:
A wife don't have to agree for a man to do whatever he wants for his blood (brothers, sisters, dad and mom), wherever and whenever he wants. She's going to get a prior notice, room for deliberations, but the final decision rests in his hands. That's a basic and a final principle.

It is the responsibility of the woman to prove her points well enough to convince the man.. are you gonna tell him his people are wicked and out there to haunt him down? Would the flimsy excuses on this thread pass the test?

Marriage is about agreement between the couple. And especially if it involves someone coming to stay with us, i have to agree. The person cannot be imposed on me. I have my own responsibilities and problems and i am not pushing it to anyone.

If that kind of decision is imposed on me, that girl will not stay up to a month in the house. He will send her back himself and it won't be because of maltreatment.

Acidosis:
An 11 year old child won't cause any trouble, but then you're right on the fact that she has a right to say no. However, the man has the right to do whatsoever he wants with/for his brother & nieces, wherever he wants.

It is already causing a clash apparently.

And you are wrong about the man having the right to do anything he wants. The wife has to agree because she will be the one to take care of the girl except the man wants to take the girl to work with him.

My husband will not bring in anyone if i say No.