₦airaland Forum

realtalk19:
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Sorry to ask ,are u seeing the violence part at all?

All u are telling her is to apologise and not saying anything about the main problem.

You quoted the wrong person. I wasn't the one that said she should apologize. I actually quoted the person who said it.

godfatherx:
I'm a man, you want advice from mothers and wives, but I will give you one unsolicited.

He wants apology, give it to him please.
Reason why you should apologize?
NONE.
But I will still say apologize!

It won't reduce your lifespan or reduce your height.

I want to write more, but it will only incure more wrath of feminists on NL.

Acknowledging his wrong and apologizing won't also reduce his life span.

Men take advantage of the fact that because the wife wants "peace to reign", she apologises. It is an unhealthy way of resolving a problem and it will backfire one day.

I felt like crying reading this. See how some parents subject their children to their own responsibilities. It ia really sad.

You need to take a drastic action to avoid regrets and depression soon.

Please do a savings with an insurance company that someone mentioned. Save 70k monthly for a particular period...maybe 2-5yrs.

Give your family probably 40k and nothing more. Tell them that your salary was slashed or that you are doing a compulsory savings scheme.

You have made your father complacent and your siblings very lazy. If they don't learn to fend for themselves, you will never achieve anything.

Pls do something ASAP and give us feedback

Earthbound:
Nairaland needs an upgrade. It's almost like we're living in the stone age here.

DMs needed
Updated emoticons needed
Video player needed.


Seun, I don't do other forms of social networking. Bring us to speed with the others. Cheers.

I concur

Lol @ they encouraged her to go out with him. So she needed encouragement.

She should try another excuse.

Wilfredpat22:
Sis in one thread you claim unmarried, now you are married on this thread within a space of 2 days.You type for likes on nairaland. Will likes give you money.Anyway I know your type in school ( You open your legs in secret and claim holy than thou)

@op try to be successful. We women are attracted to only successful guys. Forget about that girl sir. I believe you are the one doing the most in the relationship she isn’t offering you anything.

Look for independent girls not students like this one I quoted. We Nigerian women have snake like characters honestly

Wow!! You sound so sanctimonious. I claimed to be unmarried? Where? Please show me the thread and let me put the facts straight.

Who cares about likes? I think you are talking about yourself cos you are not even making sense here. Giving a guy advice has made you respond to my chat in a delusional manner.

If you have something against me, say it! Don't come and corner an advice to spit venom. It isn't ladylike. You tried to sound mature but you ended up sounding juvenile.

Throwing jabs at my school days makes you sound unbelievably shallow and immature. Come on!!

With the way you attacked a fellow lady that you do not even know says a lot about you. Are you not the snake you speak about?

Please deal with your personal issues because it is making you bitter.

Have a great day sweetheart.

LaudableXX:
All you small boys, and your microwave mentality. You don't like chasing a girl - "once you approach and she plays hard to get, you move on." How childish. There is a reason why it takes thousands of years for coal to turn into diamond, and there is a reason why good things are hard to find. A girl that says "Yes, I do," the very first day you approach her, will easily offer herself cheaply, to the next guy she meets. It doesn't matter if you are her boyfriend, or not.

Lol @ microwave mentality. He will grow up.

omoharry:
that being single has alot of emotinal trauma..it a myth to me.because if you are single by choice that means you have other things doing for yourself that you have always wanted..to achieve..but the others that allow family and social pressure to get to them usually fall into your category.I choose to remain single by choice not because i am looking for a man with money but Someone I will be at peace with..I have not found that person..and if I dont find him..then I would rather remain single ..forget the biological clock bla bla bla..things..I really don't care about those things..I am this kind of person that believe that i need not conceive and give birth before i can be a mother, must I?..no!..there are so many motherless children all over the place that need all love and care that they can get..if possible a mother figure....so there are so many things in this world that need our attention and contribution for the good of mankind...Marriage is not for every body.If you find love and a good and hard working person with a wonderful personality then marry but if not it is not the end of the world..one should not end up with necessary idiot and monster in sheep clothing just because society is on their neck to get married...I see marriage has one of those circle of life and not everyone will be captured in this cycle.So let the single women be please...na waooo!!

You are so right.

A lot of people make single women think that something is wrong with them. That they are single because of their wrong doings of some sort.

I have an aunty that is over 40 with a child from her first marriage that met a single man of 45 that has never been married. The guy is everything she wants in a man. They will be wedding soon. Meanwhile some men would have made her feel she is used product or old newspaper.

Apparently, he was disappointed badly by a younger girl. Somehow, people do not question older single men but only attack the ladies.

Please forget what anyone thinks. Think about what you want for yourself. If you start worrying about what people think, you won't do anything.

Your happiness should be your concern. No one will worry about it except you.

When i was about to get married, the circumstances were controversial but i blocked out everyone and focused on what was best for me.

You have to be selfish sometimes especially when it comes to your happiness and well being.

resurgent2019:
I dont understand what you are talking about? What is my mummy said?

I was referring to your tribal drivel in your earlier post.

You must be from the the SE or igboid part of the SS. You people hate other Nigerians and are suffering for it.

And as God will have it, the tribes you hate control Nigeria. So what will you do to save yourselves from slavery?

That is what you should be worried about dear.

Don't lie...you know what i mean?

Luckily for me, i hate no tribe. I just point out what i see.

Who cares who rules the country? How does that affect me in any way? A beninois can rule for all i care. What has all the ruling got us since 1960?

Sophyrocks:
Hahahahahahahaha. You ladies are Cracking me up here. Ain't that the truth. Wonderful comments from you all so far.

Lol...don't mind these guys here that like to feel unduly superior

resurgent2019:
That tribe will forever best your tribe in Nigeria. We are in this together.


You will never escape your slave status in Nigeria.

best indeed. "My mummy said" people.

I told one once "abeg go and meet your mummy
Me and your mummy cannot marry you. Go and marry her in peace"

Even my mother inlaw that carried one of her sons for 12months doesn't attach herself to him.

resurgent2019:
Same old tribal BS. You must be igbo.

So you know the tribe. The ones that act like they carried their sons for more than 9months. The ones airtel even threw a jab at in the advert. You must be from there .

No i am not igbo

vingeophysicist:
But really I think the main problem is from the ladies.

Recently, I met a girl in a public bus and she initiated discussion with me, along the line I fell in love with her conversational skill and how intelligent she was.I made her realize I like her after studying her for like a week. That same week this lady ask me to buy her birthday gift which I intentionally ignored. Thinking the bitch was joking.Two weeks later after she got a job she was begging me for money for one useless thing.After this scenario I realize she is a bitch and stop pinging her on whatsapp. The fool noticed it and started forming good friend, now almost everyday she always asked of mine well being.
Nigerian ladies are to materialistic yet they lack drive to seek for their own wealth.I am ready for a healthy relationship but most of all this ladies are too money conscious. They will always choose money above love.

It's only when they are aging you will hear something like "any man can fit".

Even from the way, you keep addressing her as "bitch" "fool" is already highlighting a problem.

Not all ladies are materialistic and you should tread carefully. It is not every girl from all locations that you relate with.

vingeophysicist:
But really I think the main problem is from the ladies.

Recently, I met a girl in a public bus and she initiated discussion with me, along the line I fell in love with her conversational skill and how intelligent she was.I made her realize I like her after studying her for like a week. That same week this lady ask me to buy her birthday gift which I intentionally ignored. Thinking the bitch was joking.Two weeks later after she got a job she was begging me for money for one useless thing.After this scenario I realize she is a bitch and stop pinging her on whatsapp. The fool noticed it and started forming good friend, now almost everyday she always asked of mine well being.
Nigerian ladies are to materialistic yet they lack drive to seek for their own wealth.I am ready for a healthy relationship but most of all this ladies are too money conscious. They will always choose money above love.

It's only when they are aging you will hear something like "any man can fit".

Even from the way, you keep addressing her as "bitch" "fool" is already highlighting a problem of many guys.

Not all ladies are materialistic and you should tread carefully. It is not every girl from all locations that you relate with.

braine:
The few youve seen does not mean all men are like that or your relationship will be like that. The question is if you actually know what you want.

I don't think i said anything about all guys being mummy's boys. I said we have more mummy's boys. Even Nairaland has them in abundance.

Saff:
It’s poor ladies that want men who are providers? What planet are you living on? Or are you just delusional? I’m not here to argue about my financial status as this is only argument that most of you guys can ever counter me with. I know I’m good, never struggled and never will. Thanks for your concern though.

You want women who are financially comfortable but just not more than you...right I get it. A woman who you can still have total control of, still cook, clean and do everything in the house but someone who you can also share the financial bills with. Rightttt, I get it. Someone who can help you do your job financially, but you still want to be regarded as the man of the house, riightttt I get it. Someone who is helping you in every aspect but helping her equally to do domestic chores is non existent in your world. Rightttt I get it. I find it so funny how most of you men are so adamant about women being financially responsible and helping out financiallly in the house but don’t have that same energy when it comes to things that are not financially related. I believe in gender roles. Why? Because I believe when there’s no gender roles the woman will carry the burden. She ends up doing nearly everything, being super woman. I’ve seen it happen too many times.

She supports financially and still handles the chores, children, cooking and the whole household but the man still wants to be the demigod that she calls "lord" just because he was born with a peniss.

braine:
Maybe those are the one youve been meeting. Likes attracts likes.

Not exactly. I met some especially from a particular tribe but i only see some i know that are married or married to people i know. Hardly able to hold a home together and act the part of a man because they cannot think for themselves.

dasparrow:
Many are single because the average Nigerian Bred male is a misogynist, a cheat, a scammer, a rapist and a pedophile. No woman in her sane mind will want to spend the rest of her life with such kind of individuals. It is unhealthy to raise a family with such kind of human beings who have questionable character and depraved minds.

Besides, the entire world knows that the average Nigerian bred male treats his wife like a slave. Now why would anyone with a functioning brain willingly go into slavery? Today, children can be gotten without being married. Most women want children, not misogynist husbands that will oppress, abuse and enslave them. Life is too short for that!

Many guys will disagree with you. They believe that is the standard. That a wife is their personalized maid especially because they paid bride price that they cannot seem to get over.

And women are getting wiser realizing that marriage is not a do or die affair. They don't have to "die there"

Because there are more mummy's boys parading themselves as men.

victorian:
Most men are not ready to be responsible, that's why.

And women these days prefer to be single have kids, than settle with just any guy for marriage sakes. Gone are those days, a woman will be suffering and smiling.

More women are not ready to be treated as slaves in a marriage they spend their hard earned money on. The guy more or else doesn't contribute anything other than sex, collects her money and he will still be as controlling as fucvk! Some slaps here and there, feeling he should be able to make her scared of him.
Why would a man instill fear in his wife instead of respect from his wife
So,
Most single ladies don't need such stress biko.

Personally, I can never marry a controlling, abusive, lazy man. I rather remain single and have kids instead.

Sadly, this is the truth. No one wants to suffer in silence while a man torments them in the house. Who wants to be a slave for a man these days. Life is to be enjoyed. No one has the right ro make life unbearable for someone.

Too many mummy's boys who end up being a nuisance to their wives.

And mothers do not help matters when they spoil their sons. You can imagine a guy whose mum was washing his boxers up until he got married. Infact the guy is just less than a man now.

Because there are more mummy's boys parading themselves as men.

Eketem:
No where stated that he didn't let her work. Why does she need to be allowed to work? Is she not an adult? Can she not make her own decisions?


While I know the economy is not smiling and jobs are hard to come by please women need to stop hiding under '' he won't let me work "

You should understand that some couples agree that the wife should stay home and bring up the kids. Some men will tell you that they don't want their wives to work but to take care of the kids. I know someone who is on a salary from her husband to stay at home.

Each household with their peculiar way of running things. And the man is not supposed to intimidate the woman because she decided to stay home probably against what she would've wanted.

I do not subscribe to it though but if that is their agreement, both parties have to perform their end of the deal.

Hanseel1:
You said I don't see women as human beings.. Was that statement for me or another?


Like I said earlier, what if he drops money all the time and still prefer to purchase food stuffs by himself?

Instead of answering you said I don't see women as human beings because I said men should purchase stuffs and do house chores, right?.

Your comments are rather bias and harsh towards women especially "Nigerian women" like we have all been blacklisted for whatever reason. That is why i said what i said.

As i said, buying foodstuffs is not the problem. The problem is doing so to avoid giving money to his wife. If she is a housewife, it was probably their joint decision. If he cannot provide, he should let her work.

Hanseel1:
You've been seeing my posts on this forum, have I ever said women aren't human beings or do my posts indirectly indicate such?
How do I supporting a man to purchase stuffs for the house if he wish mean I'm stingy, small minded and I don't recognize women as human beings? (I know you weren't the one who said so though)

You do not need to say it. Your comments shout it even without spelling it out. At least two of us have mentioned it on this thread

Hanseel1:
How do I supporting a man to purchase stuffs for the house if he wish mean I'm stingy, small minded and I don't recognize women as human beings?

My mentality is pitiful, speaks like someone living in a village devoid of civilization so you say.

If I may ask, where have you been to other than your husband's house? You guys make it hard for someone to be cool on this forum.
You're the uncivilized individual here because civilized individuals don't believe women are the only ones who should purchase food stuffs or do house chores.



Well, I choose to let this pass.

Where have i been other than my husband's house? Was i born and bred there? And is it my office?

There is nothing wrong with a man buying foodstuffs but if he is doing it to avoid dropping money, he is tight fisted and stingy...aka gum. And that is where the problem is.

Chores are not reserved for one person but many Nigerian men feel they do their wives a favour when they do chores.

We do not have to agree. You shouldn't start lashing out because i disagree with you or because a "Nigerian lady" dares to challenge you.

Hanseel1:
You don't also go to work? and what makes you think men can't cook for themselves? If he cook the food he won't die and you'll still eat it.


You have the mentality of a typical African. SMH

Please don't quote me again, very disgusting individual

Tell Seun to ban me from quoting you. I will quote who i so desire and you don't have to answer but you will read.

You are obviously a stingy and small minded person who worships money and sees it as a god. I am an African and i am proud.

Your mentality is pitiful. It is that of someone that still lives in a village void of any form of civilization. I hope you come out of the stone age and get enlightened and begin to see women as human beings.

Please quote me all you want. Small boy

Hanseel1:
What if he's providing for her but still choose to purchase house stuffs by himself?

The earlier you realize this is the 21st century, the better for you.

Why is he buying the foodstuffs himself? So after work, he will enter the market to start pricing crayfish. If there is no food in the house, they have to wait for him to come back from work with the foodstuffs.

If my hubby tries that logic, he will cook the food himself. But thank God he is not a money conscious, tight fisted, penny-pinching miserly man.

Hanseel1:
Madam what do you mean by it's only a stingy man that purchases stuffs by himself?

You are in 2018 but you speak like someone living in 1985.

I repeat...it is a stingy man that will go to the market just because he doesn't want to give his wife the money. It is a different case if he just decided to help out or had the opportunity to buy the things.

I never saw my dad entering the market to buy foodstuffs to avoid giving my mum money...neither did i see my uncles or family friends do it. So it is not about the century or time zone oga.

Hanseel1:
What I denoted from this is that the man has been giving her money and she'd divert the money to buy personal needs.

Most Nigerian women have this bad attitude, they'll say the stuff is 10k and the real price is 4k just to purchase personal things with the money left and buy inferior stuffs for the home.


The man will be left with no choice but to purchase the stuffs by himself.

But don't you think she has personal needs. Everything cannot be about the children and the house especially if they agreed she would be a stay at home mum.

If the man is neglecting her own needs, she will inflate what she gets from him for other things.

And it is not a "Nigerian womam" thing...it is a general thing. Even guys used to inflate prices of handouts and books in school to get more money from their parents.

It is only a stingy man that purchases things himself like that not because he is trying to please his wife or he had the opportunity to buy it but because he doesn't want to give her extra money. It is his wife not a stranger.

Gratia:
I have kids too.
You don't keep maid where the family is struggling to survive.
Do u clean bathroom and toilet daily? I know it's not easy but one have to live according to resources available.

But obviously this man is not poor but stingy.

When a man is even buying the meat, tomatoes, etc to avoid dropping money...hmmm. Stingy alert!!

The husband may have been the one to say she should stay at home and be a house wife but it is better to get a job or source of income.

Money brings power. He has the money and he is wielding power. Have your own money too.