₦airaland Forum

zed7:
Mannerless. It's part of the problem with Nigerian trained girls, they can't pass a message politely.

Generalizing makes one seem less than intelligent. Try not to do it please.

zed7:
Mannerless. It's part of the problem with Nigerian trained girls, they can't pass a message politely.

Please stop with the generalizing. How many Nigerian girls have you related with? Is it half of the population of females in the country.

Who made you the manners police anyway?

When people generalize, they sound less than intelligent.

zed7:
Mannerless. It's part of the problem with Nigerian trained girls, they can't pass a message politely.

Can you stop with the generalizing. How many Nigerian girls have you related with? Is it half of the population of females in the country.

Who made you the manners police anyway?

When people generalize, they sound less than intelligent.

[quote author=nairalanduseles post=69482853][/quote]Especially if she are not eating it in the comfort of your own house. Besides, she should know how frugal her boyfriend is to avoid insults.

nairalanduseles:
only a poor person thinks egg lol is being extravagant......someday when u leave naija u will understand

My father didn't struggle to feed us. We had food in abundance but i don't think i can eat 4 eggs at once especially if i am in another person's house...or except i am baking.

I didn't even say it is extravagant. Where did you get that from?

So try to understand my own post and don't muddle it up with another that you read.

And we don't have to "leave Nigeria" to eat well or know that eggs are not luxury

Please just make sire you define the relationship. Let it not ne that one person is dating but the other is unaware.

Some friendships just ease into romantic relationship without any asking and consent. Then when push comes to shove, the guy will start to ask "did i ask you out or did i tell you i would marry you?"

For your question, just give signs but do not say it. If you think he is the kind of guy that can handle it without making you feel cheap, then go ahead.

She has a valid point.

Some men are threatened by a woman who os successful because they are scared that they won't be able to control her.

So he uses words, emotional abuse to try to break her so that she feels like she is nothing without him.

It is just better for men to date their kind for their ego sake. If they marry a girl from a wealthy home, they are threatened. If they marry from a poor home, they will let her know he "made her".

Abeg just marry your level especially if you know you have an overinflated ego.

Phut:
In India it is the women that pay dowry to the men and we all know that the women are generally treated like scum. In fact the men sometimes kill the women when the deem that the women and her family haven’t paid enough dowry. Maybe Hanseel1 can explain that to us?

Fact of the matter is, how a man treats a woman depends on indoctrination. A man that respects women is not all of a sudden going to treat her badly because he paid bride price. Likewise a man that has been taught that women are less than him and not worthy of consideration, is not going to treat his wife better just because he didn’t pay bride price.

Case in point is the cases of poor people in Nigeria who move in together and start having kids without a marriage or bride price being paid. We know that a large number of those unions are rife with domestic violence and a whole host of other issues. Why is that Hanseel1?

Some men just want to absolve themselves from all responsibility, they cry about every little thing that sane society requires of them and act as if it is the biggest imposition. These same group of men have been so coddled that they even refuse to take reaponsibility for their own bad acts and will do anything to absolve themselves from liability, including blaming the victim. We have many examples of them here on NL.

cc: Cococandy, Ujujoan

Hanseel1 and Zed7 what do you guys have to say about this?

nairalanduseles:
poverty mentality

You mean yourself right?

I understand

Hanseel1:
Jeez...what kind of unruly and uncivilized behavior is this?
Can't you be civilized and polite?.

I don't even live in Nigeria but I'm a Nigerian and I know what's happening in Nigeria.

Women should be able to stop their parents from taking bride price from suitors.
That's why Nigerian men kill and beat cheating wives because they believe they paid for her.
Bride price is just like the men acquiring the women as properties.

Trust me, if bride price is abolished. Nigerian men will come to their senses.

You descended on me for saying what I've observed. If you know me very well on this forum ,I'm an advocate of women rights and you can see that from my topics both on this account and my other account.


Majority of Nigerian married women still depend heavily on their husbands.

Until they stop depending on men as if their entire existence depends on the men and at the same time stop their parents from collecting bride price nothing is going to change.

I'll only deem it fit to reply you again if you give me a mention that is mature and polite.

How much is bride price that is enough to buy a human being? These days the couple handle the wedding expenses together. And more and more wives are major breadwinners in the home.

Bride price is a cultural heritage here even if it has been abused by greedy relatives.

And as i said earlier, those that treat their wives like queens and those that treat their wives like trash both paid bride price.

But some choose to use bride price as an excuse to mistreat their wives.

Hanseel1:
Until Nigerian women stop depending on men for their existence and also stop their parents from collecting bride price from suitors, Nigerian men will continue to see them as properties .

Home upbringing and mentality are a part to this but most times it is dependency nature of Nigerian women and bride price.
If you ask a typical Nigerian man why he beats his wife, why his wife should be the one to cook, why his wife should see him as her God he will tell you that he paid bride price & also paying house rent,providing money for the running of the home.

What of in countries and cultures where men do not pay bride price? The domination mentality is still there. It has nothing to do with paying bride and everything to do with male ego and a faulty perception of women due to upbringing or personal experiences.

Men that treat their wives like trash and those that treat their wives like queens both paid bride price.

So if someone wants to use paying bride price as an excuse to treat a woman like an acquisition, it is a personal thing.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Lol

You know...lol

Frying four eggs alone - gluttonous

Pouring it into the sink - wrong

Slapping her - wrong

Both of you are seeing how you will both be as a married couple. She will be a glutton and be wasteful and you will be a wife beater.

If you guys cannot communicate without someone pouring eggs away and another slapping, please save yourselves the drama and split while you can.

I am waitimg for mimimile93 to come and do his thing.

viktor01:
The whole Ekiti stuff just made me have a rethink on the 'get your PVC' stuff...I think what I need right now is a visa.

I think this scenario is going to replicate itself in the forth coming presidential election..

True talk

Who exactly is the opposition against APC?

All i see is APC getting the lion share of the votes while the remaining votes are shared amongst all the other candidates.

So whether we get our PVCs or not, some people will votes for Duke, some for Sowore, some for Fayose, etc.

True words.

I am coming let me send message to hubby at work

It is better to die a spinster abeg. Marriage is not by force

I don't understand this double standards or confusion in guys.

Guys keep saying how they want to marry a virgin. Yet you still want her to have sex while she is dating or else the guy will get it elsewhere.

WHAT DO GUYS REALLY WANT?

Ilekeh:
I didn't know this bingo Eleka could talk.

Never heard from him throughout the election. He preferred playing the mute stooge.

As usual, I expect ipob slaves to follow IT to court and protest on behalf of omo ale Yorubas that never mean well for the Yoruba commonwealth.

Infact i was wondering if Fayose was contesting again. Apparently he still wants to rule Ekiti through this Eleka guy that seems invisible.

Even if i don't favour PDP or APC because they are both the same, i am glad Fayose didn't win

I don't really understand this Ekiti elections. Was Fayose contesting for governorship as well as presidency?

mimimile93:
Actually none of the Nigerian Ladies have qualities of a good wife.

Ladies of this generation are writtenoff.

How can a girl fixed long nails and you expect her to wash clothes, how can she hold leaves and cut?


99% of Nigerian ladies can't cook a delicious meal.


They can't keep a house neat.

Have you ever entered a female room? If u haven't, please one of these days take a trip to a female hostel and see how dirty those girls are.

The wear one pant for weeks some wear torn pants.

Their rooms are always scattered.

They hardly wash plates after eating..


Their armpits can send you to your early grave.

What kind of girls were you dating for heaven's sake??

It just seems you were or are a man of little standards.

99%?? Did you take that statistics yourself?

You are really a funny guy. I like your sense of humour

mimimile93:
Ami mmaha bashing nkoh

Ame ma bashing. Ndoho afo ke bo "women are useless"

mimimile93:
Ufan afo ame'ma bashing?

Mmaha bashing

But this is Nairaland where women are recipients of bashing.

All women are useless...all women are gold diggers...all women are trash...all women all women.

It is begin to sound like a song. You guys will soon need Davido to feature on the track

Why do i have the feeling that this is going to end up being a bashing thread?

How can you say she doesn't have makeup on. Look at her eyebrows...well shaped and lined. Her face has has powder...not white powder...light lip stick or lip gloss.

She has make up on though light.

bukatyne:
I have always said there is no institutionalized discrimination against women in Nigeria (would be happy to have someone prove otherwise).

The problem is mental mostly brought about by home training.

Yep, it is the same men & women campaignin that 'government' should intervene that train boys who misbehave in the first place.

What laws would you put in place to ensure that a boy doesn't 'use and dump' a girl? Or that a husband respects his wife?

I am sure that even in Saudi Arabia that is infamous for I'll treatment of women, there are some men by the virtue of upbringing that treat their women right. Afterall, in the same Saudi where there is a law against female drivers, some men still taught their women how to drive.

Like someone once said, some women train sons they would not marry. I know women who complain that their husbands are not helpful on the domestic front/ too authoritive. Strangely, they train their sons to be same. I now wonder why the complaints.

Laws make everything mechanical and some people would still be above the law.

The next crop of young men are in the hands of the girls complaining today. The onus is on them to train gentlemen for the next generation.

Also, I fear for a father who is giving his daughter extra money so she is not lured by men. The excuse that she schools in a different state with higher cost of living hence the higher pocket money sits well with me.

The second excuse? Mbanu!

A lady who would be lured has decided to be lured because she is not content.

I agree that it is easier to be content with N30k pocket money per month than N5k per month.

It also means that the father is afraid that her hasn't trained his daughter well.

What happens when he can no longer afford it or the higher share still doesn't make sense.

You go to some houses and the boys are treated like kings while the girls do all the work. I remember my neighbours then...the girls used the wash the boy's clothes.

They spoil the boy and make him useless to the women he relates with or dates, the one he marries and even to his society.

I know someone who babysits her niece and nephew. She is hard on the niece but pampers the boy so much that he cries a lot, throws tantrums even if he is the older one while the girl acts much more mature than him.

When i asked her why, she simply said because he is a man. It really has to change.

Men beating their wives and treating them like second class citizens is as a result of poor upbringing and the mindset they were trained to have.

I hope this can be corrected

pocohantas:
LOL, I know them na.

I won't even advise my husband to resign in such scenario, because it is not something I see myself doing easily. There are so many things that should be considered, not just the difference in their pay.

Lagos has more job opportunities, probably 'safer'... So, I think it is a better option. The relocation doesn't have to be immediate.

He made other points that I strongly agree with.

But 150k in Lagos is like 300k in Kaduna. You can now imagine 750k in Kaduna.

If it is a marriage that is intact...with love, understanding and with two people that have their heads right on their shoulders, the man should relocate.
My hubby would. There was a time i was earning over double his salary but it didn't affect our relationship because he himself is a selfless giver and he doesn't have an overinflated ego.

However, some men that are selfish, proud and treat their wives anyhow will be scared to relocate because their antecedent is not pure.

DjAduba:
Not new to me, Churches can tax any living thing.....

That's not true. It is obviously peculiar to that church.

As a member of the church why should i pay all that...plus what the pastor and wife will wear. Scam!!

For mine, all i did was provide food for the pastors and choir members that came because it wasn't in the church

Gidilagoon:
Pls house, I don’t know if am being stupid or not man enough but I just have to share this with you guys just for an advice.. it might be long as I really want to express myself pls.

I have been dating this girl going to 2years now and we are planning to settle down probably next year. I have known this girl for a very long time because we have dated before when I just got admitted to university but we ended after short period.

So After few years that we’av graduated, we met again and fortunately we were both still single ,so we decided to start dating again and this time we are more serious and planning for future, I realized she must have dated many guys when I left her because it was a long time ago, so I decided to change her phone number just to avoid any connection with any guy from her past since am planning my future with her now, but after awhile I noticed some of these guys still chat her on FB and Instagram and she replies, and one even sent her money and I was totally mad at her but later we resolved it.

So back to the main issue that just came up recently . I don’t know what took me to her Facebook profile and I decided to go through her messages, I noticed one of the guy she claimed to be her uncle was a man friend she has known from the past, this guy Is married with 2kids living in US. I noticed my girl sent her nude to him and they were having sex chat, so I acted like I didn’t see anything and I invited her to my house the next day and tell her what I saw, then she started crying, immediately I gave her 3 hot slap and asked her to leave my apartment but she wouldn’t leave but kept crying on the floor and said she’s ready to swear with death if such ever happened again, that she was just stupid.

Well I dragged her out of my house, and since then all her family from different places have been calling me pleading on her behalf except her Mom and Dad which she can’t tell about it. I noticed she has changed her phone number and delete her Facebook account after what happened, but I told her it’s already late when her aunty called me...

Honestly I still love her, because she’s the only girl I ever fell for but won’t I look stupid if I accept all the pleading and continue with her? And can such girl make a good wife? She’s too vulnerable, too emotional and she has dated a lot of guys in the past, so it scares the hell out of me to settle down with her, so that man no go die untimely death..

Her aunty said she wants to come and meet me this weekend but I told her I will get back to her. Do you think I should let her come?

Pls mature men in the house don’t abuse me, just advice your guy abeg.

For your peace of mind, let her go. If you were already snooping on her phone, Facebook, IG?, etc, when she there was no evidence against her, what do you think you will do now? Attach a bodyguard to her? You even made her change her phone number.

You had no right slapping her though. If she messed up, then you should have just ended the relationship without having to hit her.

You will always be suspicious of her even if she changes. So maybe yoi should move on and allow her do same.

For your peace of mind, let her go. If you were already snooping on her phone, Facebook, IG?, etc, when she there was no evidence against her, what do you think you will do now? Attach a bodyguard to her? You even made her change her phone number.

You had no right slapping her though. If she messed up, then you should have just ended the relationship without having to hit her.

You will always be suspicious of her even if she changes. So maybe yoi should move on and allow her do same.

SirMichael1:
On the contrary, she has.

Let me help you;



Now when you carefully go over the emboldened, what catches your attention??

It's that 'always' that's a red flag. He always this... He always that... If you love your woman as a man, you'll only go out of your way if your 'out of the way' isn't controlling or suffocating your partner.

I am saying that she hasn't mentioned those times where she also demanded things from him and times where he went out of his way for her too

mimimile93:
sosung'oh. Lol. Neyem ndidia ekpang

Nke bok ekpang mfen. Eyaaaa