₦airaland Forum

dominique:
If she built the house like the op's wife nko? Will you send her out of her own house like the wicked, selfish op? This "parent's house" threat you men love to churn out is getting old and lame.

theunnamed:
Even so, it's unfair, some of these things are caused by women themselves

Like when most women torture men in the name of playing hard to get, when said men move on, in most cases to the next available gal, they go on to call men names like jerk and dogs( instead of confronting that particular man who they think done dem wrong by doing what's right for himself)


Bottom line, most women are confused

Ishilove:
She forgot to add-

11) Kneel down when greeting him in the morning, when he returns from work and when serving his meals.

12) Wipe his ass when he takes a dump. Make sure you remove every trace of _shit from his beloved anus.

Shior

Olalan:
This is slavery......... for me husbands and wife should be best of friends.
How do you explain kissing your husband when he insults you, if only we know the torture insults does to people

Iamgrey5:
Yes, I was referring to the men who support assault as means of "correcting" women.

It is very clear that most women cannot match up to men when it comes to physical prowess, so only a coward will support physical confrontations between two unequal parties, especially when the stronger party is the aggressor, it is called bullying.

Notwithstanding, what do I know! I am simply an apology of a man for daring to state the obvious, that is according to most manly-men on NAIRALAND .

It is a widely held believe amongst the manly-men on NAIRALAND that beating a woman especially when the woman have not initiated any physical contact is sooo Macho.

These are the same sets of manly-men who believe that dating White women is way easier than dating black /Nigerian women..

I just hope the know the laws in white men's world.

bukatyne:
@bold: ���

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

sugah:
ExtraExtra and HEseesall
The foundation of your marriage is flawed. In marriage there's no I, me, my share, his share. You went into a biz and shared the profits into his and hers instead of ours. Assuming you had the profits as "ours" then taking part of it to take care of an ailing father and using the rest to build your house wouldn't leave doubts as to whose name should be on the house documents.
ExtraExtra your faults are plenty.
1. You have inferiority complex. Your wife, in her write up, did not mention she was from a more financially stable background but you brought it up even though it added no value to the issue at hand. Deal with your complex problems else it would destroy your home.
2. You are not nuclear family oriented. Yes you are the first son so you still have a responsibility for your extended family but you don't do that at the detriment of your nuclear family. Your wife bought and built a property to completion and you are only just finding out the details of the documentation? How unconcerned were you exactly I understand putting health first in cases of emergency but afterwards you went ahead to complete your father's house before adding the change to your own house? You should be grateful to your wife for covering up your weaknesses. At least she's more family oriented and built a home for you and your kids.
3. If you are having a heated argument with your wife, the reasonable thing to do is to excuse yourself from the situation. Go out to a bar, have a drink or two to cool off then return home to a calmer atmosphere and discuss the issue. How on Earth do you ask a woman to leave the house during an argument (forget that your joking b.s, I'm not buying it)? Where do you expect her to go to cool off?
4. This one goes back to your not being nuclear family oriented.... you have already gone ahead to report the situation in your home to your extended family and even your wife didn't do it. Now you are making unreasonable ultimatums just so you can satisfy your bruised ego or at least prove to your extended family members that you wear the trousers in your home.
5. You are not willing to keep your home and you are taking for granted the fact that your wife is willing to do anything to keep the home. You have applied for a transfer to another state because of this issue? Did you consider what the move would do to your children? Have you even thought about anyone else except yourself in this issue?

HEseesall,
Learn not to make assumptions (you assumed he would know the property was in your name)... communicate! Communicate!! Communicate!!!
Agree to put the property in his name and if he doesn't change his stance about it, that's having both your names on it, then consider your stance in the marriage. Unfortunately you married a man who doesn't understand what marriage is about or the relationship between marriage and Christ so you either chose to carry your cross and make it work or seek professional help.

All the best.

bryanarchie:
I have decided to go when I'm wanted.Thank you and God bless

KadunaMafia:
I've seen countless marriages crash

I've seen abuse and violence in marriage that makes me recall how happy those couples were when they were single

I've seen ladies becoming "crazies" after marriage


I've seen guys becoming thugs and bullies on their spouse after marriage.


I've seen many things so I want you to share what you be seen that makes you dread marriage

engrrichie92:
So will I by hill song

That song touches my soul...

Elder001:
Bride price should be abolished in Nigeria because it is modern day slavery. Nigerian men feel like they acquired their wives like properties the moment they pay bride price no matter how little the amount is.

A woman should be sensible enough to prevail on her father not to take bride price from suitors and in a situation where the father refuses, the lady has the option of going for registry marriage alone after all registry doesn't require bride price.

Any father who'll gladly collect bride price from your husband does not love you as a daughter.

2buffagain:
No, but you will never catch me saying dumb ish like "Never raise your hands on a woman no matter what".
That is a terribly stupid mantra that trifling women will always feel the need to test when they know you subscribe to such manipulations.

All I can promise is, "I will do my best not to. As long as you don't push me to it...".

2buffagain:
That was the best, but he didn't do that.
If she isn't a saint, why expect him to be?

He's a flawed person just as her

2buffagain:
When 2 hot headed people meet, the weakest will get slapped. This is likely to be the woman.

She has 2 options, stop being mannerless or leave the relationship and go find someone who is not as hot headed as her.

donstan18:
I don't even know why I'm laughing. Even a sensible lady can tell that the guy is mocking them

The "Glass of tea" part got me laughing hard,

Any of my property wey girl stain with blood, she go kukuma and jejely bend down lick am.

2buffagain:
You're not getting it.

It would have been better if she kuku ate all the eggs in his fridge.
She decided to throw them away to spite him after he made a request that she use less, as in "how dare you ask me to use less of something I don't own?! <pours eggs away>" . That one is not a girlfriend.

It is the ATTITUDE that warranted her that slap.
Remove your mind from the eggs.

2buffagain:
Agreed.
Any girl unable to see fault in this female's actions simply exposes herself to be a useless untrained tart.

If she wanted to prove a point, she should have put the eggs back in the fridge (even if already opened) and left to go get her food elsewhere if he wanted to be stingy.

You don't then throw his food away and be looking him in the eye. That is agbero behavior. You better be ready to collect slap with that attitude.

milemimi93:
Op are you indirectly saying that no man will marry a naija girl?

Because these things here are what the Nigerian girls are

Akposb:
Firstly, one Nigerian guy does not translate to all Nigerian.
Also why would want you to spend the night with a guy when you are not ready for sex.
Lastly, you know who he is now and hopefully he might change if you still like him or possibly let's hope the next guy you meet is a real good one.

milemimi93:
Oh! I swear I didn't know you are part of this God forsaken generation.

Next time I'll exempt you.

Really sorry..

milemimi93:
Ok let me be specific.

Only ladies born in the 80s are pigs and not all ladies.

Thank you.

Uto'm aba'diah?

AngryNigerian22:
[color=darkblue] your problem that's not my consign. but any woman way go slap me, even if I make her vex. Na for hospital she go see her self [/color]

mimimile93:
ImaIma1

Ufan mi, can you remember the day I said that Nigerian ladies are pigs and I also said if in doubt you should take a trip to a female hostel in any of the campuses?

Now take a trip to this thread and see for yourself...



Thank me later..