₦airaland Forum

IamWonderful:
Spotted? no be him ask someone to snap him

Spotted inside his sitting room. Like someone happened to be passing by his sitting room and spotted him there

I see no reason why they should still all be living under the same roof. The reason the FIL was there was because of loneliness. Now that he's married, he's no more lonely. Can't he move into one of his houses?

How will they all be living in the same house with all the awkwardness. Papa was irresponsible, sleeping with the maid. Now he has married her and still staying in the same house. Yet he is given a pat on the back because he is rich and he owns the house.

All I see in the comments by guys especially, is the agenda to condemn the woman like she's completely crazy to be upset. But everyone acting like it's normal and ok. If it's the other way round that her own mother sleeps with the security and gets pregnant. These same men here will do a u-turn with their fingers.

Lush100:
Ma'am

U will be surprised until u hear it from a man's mouth(but men will hardly tell). Because women can do such just to prove a point.

What point will she want to prove? That she cannot wash plates? Or that if her husband doesn't wash it, she can't do it?

When we see nonsense, we should not condone it. We should call it out and condemn it. If her husband cannot do it, he should report her to a family member who can.

Her behaviour is a very horrible one. It is his duty right now to make sure she doesn't continue in it especially because he is the direct beneficiary.

Lush100:
When u ask him to put his foot down,
By the time the woman is cooking with unwashed pot,
It will lead to quarrel, and if care is not taken one small slap she will blow it out of proportion,
That is woman for you.

Dear OP bro, me i cannot advise you,

because women matter is something i do not understand

I doubt that a normal human being will cook with a dirty pot. If she does that, the op should know he is deep shiit.

He needs to be firm and let her get responsible. He's not helping her if he keeps doing it. He also needs to report her to her family.

He should report her to her mum, and quietly invite her mum to the house on one of those days when his wife has accumulated plates,etc. It will cause quarrel o,but she will get small sense.

You need to stop cleaning up after her/cleaning up for her. When next she washes and leaves the clothes for you to dry, close your eyes to it and leave it there. Let the sink pile up to the brim with plates. Wash only what you intend to use.

It's just that you don't eat outside. I would have suggested that you eat before you get home, so that you don't have to do the cooking.

You have made her relax from doing those things because you keep doing them. You have to put your foot down. And when next she threatens divorce, tell her to go. Let her go and open her mouth to tell her family the reason for the divorce.

Just know that you caused all these things happening because you condoned it.

dingbang:
omo see eh. I have seen a very fine sexy girl still being dumped. The nigga just got tired of too much neediness and drama, i have also seen a lady turned down a guy's marriage proposal so she can maintain her sanity.

People just need to balance things in life.

I understand your angle.

I just think that some people are quite unlucky with their choice of men and their relationships.

Vyolet:
How can she be a virtous woman if she has refused to do what her husband asks her to do?
He is the head of the family, and she has to abide by his rules.
Men are scarce o, if she loses this one, who will marry her again afterall everyone already knows them together.
She should transfer ownership of all properties to him ASAP, as a matter of fact, she should convert her bank accounts to joint ones and make him sole signatory.

I see what you did there

dingbang:
But if you were serious, you would know how to keep a man.

Ouch!

Many factors involved though

Sterope:
Husbands rape their wives too. A rapist can be a husband, a fiance or a bf.

It's this OP's type that turns out to be the type of man that rapes his wife.

Abdul05:
Naturally, it happens in every family .There is always a black sheep of the family so sad



Every evil person comes to earth thru a woman..it is just unfortunate for Mama.

No. It's not natural, and it doesn't happen in every family. There are families that don't have a "black sheep".

pappybarry:
What area pls

Gbagada, Lagos

Jman06:
"Absolve" not "absorb"

Take note because of next time

Thank you. Keep making that mistake

If your husband's surname were Dangote, Elumelu, etc, we wouldn't have to read all the story you wrote up there.

Kobojunkie:
What in the world are you still on about?

I don't know the employment status of everyone in Nigeria so the next best thing is to ask those I feel to ask. Common sense!

Yimu

jornwhite:
its only online i hear dis 50/50 contribution scrap, my friends are married both females & males .. men are the major providers what their women render is maybe intermediate support, baba folake lemme borrow you money to buy food your children will eat or pay school fee.....e no dey pass borrow
Naija women are very selfish when it comes money such that 50/50 can never never work, we are talking of genders that cannot even use there own money to organise birthday, a maga must pay.
We all have access to the bible, quote what favors you as well, how love & gentleness take reach make a whole family head they sweep compound, what happens in ur family is no one business buh today we have so many couples bringing there wahala online disturbing our ears, why

Where you see this selfish ones is obviously a different place from where I also see the selfless ones. It depends on what our focus is on or what we are looking for.

A man compiled this list. Nothing sexy about these guys.

jornwhite:
No one is disputing women don't work or earn income, buh of what benefit is a woman money when she hides it.
A woman is referred to as an helpmate, so if she is providing for the family it still within her duties as a wife, if not define helpmate.
A man is the head, he is the overall brand image, so he can't just do anything except the situation warrant it.
Lets say you return from work with some colleagues .. open the gate n meet ur hubby sweeping the compound, how will you feel ?

that should answer ur question

How many women hide their earnings from their husbands? Is it only those kind of wives you know? You don't know the ones that contribute 50/50 with their husbands?

So, going by your logic, if she contributes half, he should also do half of the house chores.

It is convenient for you to quote the Bible as it benefits you. As she's a help mate, does he treat her with love and gentleness as the Bible says?

Every family is running as they want. What happens in my household is none of my colleague's business.

Mariangeles:
Anybody who knows Kobo would've known where he/she was headed with that "question".
Never ending questions upon questions, poor woman would've thought she was in a counselling session.

Soon he'll allude to the fact that his mum was able to manage everything well with more children in the 80s/90s and compare the OP with her

Oyiboman69:
the man knows this...so is every one but understanding Is far from the woman.
I deduced that from her response to some people comments.
why is the man giving his wife 4k weekly?... this is where I really need you to start your conclusions from.

The issue is the fact that he thinks she is lying as if he is oblivious of the present economic situation or as if he doesn't live in Nigeria

Oyiboman69:
I understand your contributions...she's been very aggressive to some comments which are not in her supportth which tells you something about her kind of person, if you could see could see through it though....

Wouldn't it be nice in asking how she can manage that amount without weaving her husband just to get sympathy?...

Would you have done this if you are in this situation?...

The truth is that some people's comments are not sensitive and they lack empathy. Is it really easy to get a new job after losing one in this country? Or is it easy for her to have started a new job in that time frame?

It's easy to try to judge people through our own lenses, with our own situations. But the truth is, people are struggling. And 4k is not even near enough for two adults and kids for even 3 days. It's for both of them to put heads together.

My.own reactions would be different from hers because my husband is not same as hers. I.might have support from family which she might not have. So, the variables are different.

truthsayer009:
Obi Cubana's wife was frying puff puff & chin chin to support him na before he blew, didn't you hear the story?

Yes o. And Tony Elumelu's wife was hawking oranges...

Oyiboman69:
it is okay if you can't read meaning to a situation where a man is giving his wife 4k in this hard economy... why don't you ask her of her husband's present financial strength?

I still stand on my opinion even its not inline with your imagination....

As I said in my response to someone else, the issue should be that he doesn't have enough and not that she is lying that it won't be ok.

The economy is bad and it's affecting everyone. She lost her job two months ago. She's probably trying to get another. And you should know that it is not that easy to get a job. And setting up a business is not something you do with a snap of a finger.

Oyiboman69:
that was what she said... a good and supportive woman will fry puf puf or do anything to support the family rather than asking silly question online....

Is that your fantasy? A woman that can fry puff puff to support you.

jornwhite:
If our mother & grandmother could singlehandedly raise more children & do housechores with no fast time inventions yet they succeeded & still maintain great body why should one gurl raising just one child in a world filled with inventions complaining about, there is cretch to assist with toddlers, a modern woman has fast time inventions in her kitchens + washing machine somewhere in the house so whats hectic about house chores
are there any inventions out there making hustle easy for men to play their role to wives & kids.

Is it only the men who go out there to hustle and earn income? If the woman can make money to also take care of the family, why can't the man do chores too? ...since it is earning vs chores.

If we want to always bring back our grannies and mothers, we should as well just go back to the olden days generally. You should be going to the post office to post your comments, and abandon your phone.

You cannot be selective of what part of the olden days you want to still.live with.

About 17-19 hours daily

Mariangeles:
Yes, you did.



Your comment was more of being too forward/interrogative/judgmental than asking a question out of genuine concern.

"Do you have a source of income/job?" Would've been more appropriate.

The bolded is the MO of kobojunkie and default setting. He obviously lives in an ideal setting where things work out without much ado.

Kobojunkie it's not easy for everyone to get a job easily or start a business with the snap of a finger. She lost her job just two months ago, and the govt will not support till she gets a new job. It doesn't work that way in Nigeria.

menix:
Does he earn much and gives u a paltry sum

For those saying the man ain't trying, have u asked how much he earns, would someone earning 20-25k give all to his wife to be a good dad Without considering his T.fare, savings for school fee nd rent fee..

Madam OP, u know better and please don't push him close to his coffin, u could start something small or services to assist...

All hands no dey equal....

Then it should be that the money is not enough and not saying the wife is lying because he cannot afford it. Let him enter the market himself and see who is lying.

Kobojunkie:
Is there such a thing as "enough work" where your very own family is involved?

In single-parent homes for instance, you find single mothers/fathers who take care of their kids, and house and also work.... so what in the world do you mean by "that is enough work ...."?

Would you have known if truly she doesn't have then finances to contribute if I hasn't at least inquired about her employment status?

Your comment implied that she's not contributing anything as it's her family also. When indeed taking care of the kids and house is a contribution.

As she said, she lost her job and they are currently managing on the man's income, which is something that happens sometimes.

Her issue which she raised is that her husband thinks she's lying about 4k not being enough for a week. But as usual, you are not being empathetic because you cannot relate to such issues.

Kobojunkie:
That decision is between her and her husband to discuss for themselves.

I am simply asking if she has a source of income or job she can pull resources from in order to help out. After all, the family is also hers.

Does taking care of the kids and house not show that it's her family too? That is enough work as she doesn't have the finances to contribute at the moment.

vonlogon:
During the interview, you will have the chance to learn more about the role and develop a deeper understanding of our company's objectives.

The statement above is the red flag, is it an interview or training.

I think it's all this time wasting people

Exactly!

You know them well

theForth:
Na poor or jobless man dey do all these ones, trust me.

Sorry, I cannot trust you, especially when I know the person is not poor or jobless.

Funny enough, it is the ones who are jobless or earn small money that try to validate their manhood by displaying unnecessary ego and lordship.

bukatyne:
The man is the wife because he washes their baby & wife's clothes;

Is the woman also the husband because she pays some bills in the house?

Good question.