₦airaland Forum

21Bandit:
Is Alright

Well made fried rice. Not soggy. Nice!!!

js230003:
The full dish

Usung?

Bnladan:
Potato salad anywhere anytime

Looks so nice. What dressing did you use?

Someone said that this year hs taught him that hand sanitizer is stronger than anointing oil

sharpwriter:
While I do not subscribe to drugs, but let's don't over exaggerate matter. Hanks is already old, he's 60 years old already.

So I no understand wetin you two mean by ghost of
former self or prematurely wasted.

Definitely we can't be young forever!

Zack Orji is 60
RMD is 59
Kanayo is 58
Akin Lewis is 63.

They are aging but not looking old and ragged.

Engaging in drugs doesn't do the body any favours. In fact, it takes much more than it gives.

Kriss216:
As long as my wife serves me dinner with red pant and bra, or red sexy lingeries, no woman in this world can seduce or make me cheat on my wife.

High school fantasies

fineboynl:
the person that I sent to help me woo her. said she keep telling saying we are talking on the phone. but we are really not talking anything. maybe she is just forming or pretending something. I made up my mind to leave her now.

Please leave her. We are tired of the numerous female bashing threads.

cooooooks:
Guys will not go for mutual love and then will come and start saying she only wants my money.

Save yourselves stress, mutual love or nothing!!

They will date a girl they don't really know just because of her endowments. When she starts to mess up, they will open a wailing thread on "girls are trash"

fineboynl:
s what are you trying to say? to discontinue with her or what?

Save yourself the trouble and move on. No one needs to tell you that this is one-sided. Has she ever called you on her own? She doesn't even return your calls.

But if you are ready to love enough for both of you, you can go ahead.

[quote author=fineboynl post=97482561][/quote]You love her and really want her or you just want to conquer this conquest. The fact that everyone one wants her, you want to be the one to have her.

Why are you complaining about her behaviour? You are just one of many guys that cannot use eye to see big ass. You knew she wasn't in to you from the start, so why are you fussing?

Let her pay her shop rent. What is she using the money she makes and her arrears/salary for? If she is not willing to contribute, my opinion is that you cut back on what you do for her.

Focus more on the children and saving.

RedPanthar:
Continue deceiving yourself. You can deceive gullible people but not me.


You're the breed of men that are so overly possessive you don't want your wife to be around anyone of influence especially her family besides you.


YOU COVERTLY HATE YOUR WIVE'S FAMILY AND SADLY YOU'RE NOT DISCREET ENOUGH TO HIDE THE DUSGUST. YOU CAN'T STAND THEM TO TOLERATE THEM LET ALONE TO EMBRACE THEM AS YOUR OWN.

I PRAY YOU KNOW THE FUTURE AND CAN SEE IF YOUR KIDS WILL NEVER NEED THEIR HELP FOREVER THAT WAY I CAN ASSURE YOU TO CONTINUE WITH YOUR ANTICS. UNTIL THEN, TRED SOFTLY.

There are a specie of men that hate it when a woman's family or friends is around her. And use all sorts of antics to act victimised.

Only God will deliver you from you and teach you different ways of doing things. Your children would grow up too and become adults, should brothers not visit sisters and vice versa. When it's time to shine with opportunity some men act coy.


7k will enough rice and small meat to entertain your guests for the short duration they will be around.


Be Christ-like, Christ-mas is about sharing not only about eating rice.


Stop deceiving people in the time being. You know it's hatred you have for her being around her family and not about money




Should anything happen to you tomorrow, those are the ones that would stand for her, your kids and even you. And it's how you draw them close with what you have now that will make them endear to you should the chips fall down on your end however plenty your tiny peanuts maybe as of the moment.


You will know them ladies. They are the kinds that assume thier wives fell from heaven. Once they get married to them they don't want their wives to be around anybody, friends or family.



There's also female versions. These women marry them give them the entire world. They will never be with you or love you atall and will only stick around cause of favors they get in the marriage. They won't give happiness and after a few years leave you down the line.


It's a personality-complex. Open your eyes to find these kinds out to do the needful.

The wife was wrong on all levels...bringing her siblings to stay without informing her husband, knowing the financial situation and bringing 4 extra mouths to stay, allowing a third party sleep in their matrimonial bed.

It seems she didn't attend marriage counselling. She has a lot to learn about marriage.

Simplyleo:
And so what?

Is he the first to donate to his people?

While some are donating wherl barrow, wash hand station (tap bucket), dunlop slippers.

DukeJoe17:
How?
Bleep off, what about men marrying outdated lesbian?
Cucumber Queens?
Vibrator baes?
Candle sluts?
Daddy sugar sluts?
A child in jss3 will be fucking her dad age mate..
Infact this sentimental assertion must be from a crone and should be avoided like a plague.

Seems like the comment stuck a cord. This your response is like a chemical reaction

jaxxy:
She was actually substance and still is so I’m not her to Rubbish her or anything. I still respect her even now bt that doesn’t change the fact she was selfish and I told her to her face in a civil manner which she was sorry about. In her case it wasn’t intentional bt she cud have acted better I believe bt no one perfect and that doesn’t mean I enjoyed it, I just had to understand.

My main point is a lady with substance can still fail u so one needs to make sure love is properly balanced cos it’s not always guaranteed to work. I don’t ask people to make sacrifices for me that I can’t make 2ce or 3ce over for them bt that’s me others both gal or guy may not give a damn. So u need to protect urself and be wise about it.

That guy has no business making such sacrifice for that gal “unless” she’s proven herself worthy of it. He already gave her an alternative path which is fine if she’s serious.

Only he can tell us if she deserves it or not. But from his post, it is more about his principles than whether she deserves it.

Petsolo1115:
My babe of over 2 years called me this evening for 2000 naira to get some body soap products.

I transferred 10,000 naira to her. She called back and asked what the money was meant for. I told her to manage it for her personal needs for this yuletide season. I made her to understand few days ago that i won't be able to give her enough money for Christmas due to the fact that I have to support my Dad financially for my grandma's burial which is in 7 days time.

To cut the whole story short. She refunded 8,000 naira and told me it was better I keep my money than giving her what she can't manage to buy clothes. My babe has a business which gives her profits on a daily basis. The money I spent on her from November 1st to 30th is in excess of 30,000 naira.

I am currently contemplating on breaking up with her or forgetting the whole issue..

Your advice please. Criticisms are allowed

Does she spend on you?

jaxxy:
We all know guys do more for gals than the gals do for the guys. Test of love is giving and he has given. He doesn’t need to sacrifice himself on an alter to prove anything more atleast not until she has reciprocated the “little” as u put it he has done.

This self entitlement shit is really getting out of hand. I helped change a gals life and yet when the relationship when south I moved on no stress. Guess what she did little or nothing except show up for dates and events I still pay fully for. I don’t want to delve in the level of selfishness a gal u date can show intentionally or unintentionally cos I just do my thing and let u do urs. I have I no regrets bt then it’s what’s sm guys will cry about and hate ladies for. Love is a 2 way street like communication.

I want to know what she’s actually done for him to deserve this level of sacrifice. U don’t give diamonds to a pig they will abuse it and It will end in tears.

When some of you guys decide to date a lady, I wonder what parameters you use before picking a girl. Because when you go for substance rather than vanity, we won't keep hearing tales. And it is as if you guys on NL are in the same WhatsApp group.

In real life, the case seems different. It depends on where you are looking.

jaxxy:
Yes i believe when u love u give and I believe the op has been doing that, he said he’s taken her on dates and gifts so he’s definitely spent on her. He loves her surely bt the big question and what I expect u to worry about more is “does she love him??”

I see no sign of that in his story nothing significant she has done to show she loves him. No sacrifice nothing, U see loving a Nigerian gal is the most selfish game where one person most times the guy loves the gal and this other self entitled person the gal sits back and relax to enjoy the love without showing same reciprocity.

This is not love especially on the gals side it is convenience. So the word “love”is in question and in grave danger here

Where is the love

You think loving a Nigerian guy isn't as bad or even worse. If we keep playing this cat and mouse and blame games, we will all lose. Guys are ao quick to shout "Nigerian girls" and girls shout "Nigerian guys".

Is taking someone on dates and buying gifts a true test of love? So if my husband doesn't buy me a gift on my birthday and someone else does, it means the person loves me more?

Helping someone achieve their dreams is a greater test of love. If it is something you are capable of and cannot do it for the one you claim to love, that love is questionable. Women are making sacrifices daily to to help their men. It's not a guy thing

How do you know his history to know that she doesn't love him?

Toktee:
My thoughts exactly, do not trust Nigeria's ladies when it comes to taken them abroad when they get their and settled, that's when you know their true colors.


A Nigerian Doctor just killed his wife and then himself in the US only God knows the reason.



Nigeria's ladies has a PhD in frustrating me abroad.

Why are some of you men always one sided? Do you think it is only women who do the frustrating? Don't base your judgement on only what you read on SM. These women that acted up, do you know what they really went through?

Women are going through hell with their abroad husbands controlling their lives and even seizing their passports and treating them like prisoners because they brought them there. What do you think will happen when they get their freedom?

And it's not only men that are victims of these issues. Two ladies I know personally; one in US and the other in Canada. Both came back and married in Nigeria and sponsored their husbands to be with them. Both men messed up and all is no longer well. But it is not on Social Media.

So please stop acting like this betrayals are gender specific. Men even betray in a larger way without batting an eyelid.

LordKO:
From your far-reached resolution and connotation of your submission, you don't believe in altruism/love, then don't sponsor her immigration via a spousal visa. You'll be better off having a contract marriage with her or any other woman, for your peace of mind in particular and sanity of the both of you in general. I expect you to man up and tell her boldly that you don't believe in love, instead of taking to disingenuousness in relating with her, and allow her to decide whether or not to continue with whatever that exists between the two of you.

However, assuming that you're a proponent and practitioner of altruism/love, I don't see anything wrong in one sponsoring his fiancee or wife's immigration via a spousal visa; all the news about betrayal happening and flying around notwithstanding. The reason is simple, whatever cause I believe in, I give my best, and I don't condone anyone who doesn't meet my set ethical standard.

So, anyone I vetted and chose as a lover/wife, I've always accorded her the privilege of being part and parcel of me as a proponent of oneness, while staying a discerning step ahead of her, of course. You need to master the art of giving everything without losing anything and walking out like a boss when things turn sour.

Meanwhile, opportunism and its peripheral vice aren't female gender exclusive, because personally, in an issue like this, I have suffered more betrayal from fellow men; well, that's because they've been my major beneficiaries. My motto in this regard is simple, betray me, shame on you; outsmart me, shame on me.

Love remains a sign of strength, not weakness.

You said it all LordKO.

That "whatever that exists between them" doesn't seem like love.

And yeah, betrayal, opportunism, are not common to women as this forum always seems to project.

thorpido:
Let her be for the meanwhile then.Keep dating and communicating with her.When you think you want to settle with her,you may need to come to Nigeria to marry her and help her move abroad.

The option of coming abroad through studies,can she afford the fees?

If your girlfriend was my sister, I'll ask her to keep her options open.If she meets a good man here who is ready to settle with her,I'll ask her to go for him.

Exactly! at the bolded. Seems like the kind of guy that will control her life there if he helps her.

jaxxy:
It is not balanced judgement to compare his sisters with a stranger he fell in love with and barely has any significant experience in life with.

Yes people need help bt it shud be on the right terms not false notions. If it’s charity he’s doing do it as charity not love. Love must be balanced. After all the dates and gifts he still have to break his principles for her? Which she knows b4 hand? Why??

When you love you give. It is something we do even unintentionally. It sometimes makes us look like fools but it is just because we can't afford to see the one we love in need when we can help.

At the bolded, then it should be stated clearly that "I cannot help someone who is not related to me", and not that "I prefer people to grow by themselves".

"Some" men like this will also be this way with their wives, even if at that point she comes before his sisters.

DukeJoe17:
are you now saying that a wife should be under her husband in footing of responsibilities? I thought gender equality was about making a woman equality to man in all ramifications without exemptions
if you don't know, some women are now answering king

Is there equality in the spending in this case?

DukeJoe17:
There is more to it than claiming gender equality on papers, these are what millions of men passed through daily without complain.

It doesn't justify a husband/father failing on his responsibilities to his wife and children. Does it?

DukeJoe17:
he has other responsibilities and not as if he is wasting his own money away,
Come to think of it, if you were a single mom won't you do all this things for yourself?
You should be thanking God for giving you the the substance.
Gender equality is not only for mouth, after all, what a man can do a woman can do even more better
If you like follow the ill advice from old tycoon women here who may not experience what is called marriage in their lifetime,

Is she a single mother? No. She has a husband. If she were a single mum, then she would know she's alone but she is not.

wisdomiskey:
She's an example love
Please learn the art of basic comprehension.

Using her as an example helps with the narrative you like to believe. So, carry on with your loathe. Just make sure it trickles down to your female loved ones. Don't be partial sweety.

wisdomiskey:
I won't coz men are always right!

Na una dey lie pass.

Just take that Queeny girl for example, crying and accusing a guy of rape only for us to find out that she's a cheap prosttii who over-priced her used up psleeve

Queeny does not represent all the females in the compound where she lives, not to talk all the females in Nigeria.

The basis for your bias is pointless.

wisdomiskey:
See them wailing

Because a woman bought TV in the house we no go hear word again.
Millions of men globally are sole providers for their households, most are even unknowingly paying school fees for kids from other men. Men have been providing quietly for centuries and nobody complained.

Then women woke up one fateful morning and decided they are tired of sitting at home and being taken care of by men, so they decided to fight for the wonderful thing called equality - unless now, she still wants the man to provide and also share in domestic responsibilities?

Jokers.

OP, shebi you and your ilks wanted to be equal to men? This looks like a 50/50 situation to me so why you complaining?
If you can't take it anymore, leave him (although I doubt you can afford to) Ms Independent.

Also noticed how you conveniently ommitted who pays the rent.

You seem to be the one wailing up and down on different mentions. Your open hatred for women cannot allow you think and comment objectively. Even if the man comes and tells you what she says is true, you will still find a way to blame it on women.

wisdomiskey:
Rent?
Electricity bills?
Fuelling the car?
Helping his own external family members the same way she helps hers? Or maybe her own family members and even dependent on him.

I would like to hear his side of the story, because all this "i bought tv, I bought bed sheet, I paid for bus fare" are all petty expenses tbh.

This same probing and wanting to hear from the other side...I hope you will also investigate when it is a man that posts a similar story.

canttedra:
The recent topic on the home page motivated me to make this post, anonymously of course.

We were dating before I left Nigeria. We've been dating for about three years. Sometime last year I got a new job in the US (I schooled there so it was easy), and moved away from the country. Until a few weeks ago, we talked nearly every other day. It's always fun talking to her. But lately, things have started to get a little rough because of something that came up, and which I would like to believe is not my fault.

Prior to dating her, since I was a kid in university, I made myself a few promises relating to women:

1. I will never pay a woman's school fees
2. I will never rent a house or apartment for a woman, nor furnish an existing apartment
3. I will never sponsor a woman abroad.

Of course, this does not mean that I won't buy a woman gifts (I do that regularly), or take her on a nice trip. I just do not envisage myself pulling a woman up the social ladder. I prefer she makes her own growth moves as it relates to finances or relocation.

I made these promises based on the fact that I expected that whomever I make a partner should be able to make something of their own selves. I do not want to be anybody's savior or anyone's get-out-of-jail card. This resolution has made lose a few women in the past who thought the relationship should be based on what they can get out of it, and my girlfriend knows this.

The situation right now is that there is a path for her to come to America through studying. We already talked about her applying for graduate studies and then transitioning here into a better job. However, she now feels that would be stressful and may not work. Instead, she thinks it's better if I return to Nigeria this December to marry her and then sponsor her eventually to the US. That's not going to happen. This has created a rift and we have not been talking for a while now.

Am I being unreasonable here? How can I make her realize she can be her own person and not have to depend on someone else to "sponsor" her? It just drives me nuts that she knows this about me but is now vehemently insisting that this is the only viable option.

You have built your wall so high and set very rigid and strict rules of engagement. You should understand that not everyone will be able to afford what you expect. Not everyone can make it on their own. Some people need help.

Would you have these same rules for your sisters? Would you sponsor them or insist that they grow by themselves?

Love usually sees beyond rules and breaks defences and walls but you still hold on to all your "nevers". Well, if both of you are not on the same page, you know what to do.

In marriage, "they" say "don't start what you can't finish".

Maybe you have shown him that you can afford to handle the things in the house and so he doesn't need to spend his money.

You need to start demanding money from him. If you need to buy things for the kids, give him a list. Let him get involved. Share the expenses and push to make sure he fulfils his own part.

From the way you have described him, the best thing might be to tell him that you got a pay cut. But you said you cannot lie. Ask yourself...what is he using his money for?

He is your husband. There must be a way you can get through to him. That mentality he has about a woman handling things is a convenient one for him and needs to be changed

Snaagg:
What's up for debate here?
The mother looks very much old enough to be her mum.
That woman is at least 55 years old while the daughter looks 31.
Looking older runs in their family I guess

Probably a mistake. It's the daughter that should be 31