An American was visiting Nigeria for the first time, so he boarded a taxi from the airport to his hotel, on the way the American saw a beautiful building and asked the driver, "how long did it take to build such beautiful building", the driver was proud of his country and said 6 years, the American replied "nonsense, in my country it will take 6 months to build same building".
They passed by another huge building, the americanasked again, "how many years did it take to build the house", the driver replied "2 years", to his shock again the american said, "rubbish, it takes just 2 months to build same building in my country".
They finally passed the National Stadium, and the american was amazed, he asked how long did it take to build such magnificent structure, the driver just looked at him and said"Oga, I don't know o! cos when I passed here this morning, the building wasnt there".

BOY: will u marry me?
GIRL: do u hav a fat salary?
BOY: no
GIRL: do u hav a BMW car?
BOY: no
GIRL: do u hav a house?
BOY: no
GIRL: get away,i cant marry you
BOY: i dnt hav a fat salary cos im d boss of my company,im nt paid salary ,instead,i pay others.i dnt hav a BMW cos i own a ferarri,so wat am i doin wit a mere BMW,i dnt hav a house but an estate.
GIRL: did i hear u say u wanna marry me?*blushin*
BOY: not anymore

Man-of-God:


Are u a HE-Goaat that u wnt 2 spoil them with s3x? some1 is waiting 2 do likewise 2 ur sisters if u dnt repent.

may GOD bless you till infinity,now i beliv some peopl are still wit dr sanity.TANKS ALOT. Now i knw im nt d only calibate who abhors premarital S3x.tanks ur disapproval on s3x,u really defended ur name -MAN OF GOD

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy with for young mothers and their children.You all have obsessions the doctor said.
1. He said to the 1st mother, you are obsessed with food you even named your daughter CANDY.
2. The 2nd mother. Your obsession is with money you named your daughter PENNY.
3. He looks to the 3rd mother, your obsession is wit alcohol you named yourchild BRANDY.
4. At this point the 4th mother gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and says, "Come on DÎCK, we're leaving". -abeg wats her own obsession

Sam Milla: This old thief never gets tired of confusing Nigerians. If Pepple use money they give him to pay PHCN bills when due, darkness will vanish .

yet another g*y comment.hmmm

Kay 17: Why should that affect secular laws??

Besides wouldn't overpopulation be dangerous for our modern society?!

i dnt want to beliv ur a G*y cos ur post jst said somethin about u.GOD IS WATCHIN YOU

feelamong:

No mind dem..just dey post your joke anywhere wey you like..afterall Nairaland na Joke self!

i send dem?

misreal: hahahahahahahaha my guy na ur post i like pass

tank u my brother, mak we laugh and 4get bad belle peopl. De dr wast ur MB and time. Wen d man de enjoy 1bn food allowance.who de loose?.if e vex u pass,go contest for COMMUNITY LEADER for ur village,rule dem for one year, and i bet u'll be more dan a RETARDEEN.up GEJ JARE. Abeg mak i sharperly post another joke. But u for click LIKE na. U stingy oo.

another one we called sir ground nut .reason= i beliv ground nut was his favorit food. We had sir isi mango , i bet u'll also join us to call him dat name if u'v seen him. We hav UCHU...dat was wat he always called us, so we took d name bak to him. We had sir OTONDO reason="bak to sender tinz" . He always call us dat so we named him d same and everyone carried it on. We hav sir okor-O ...REASON=dis man can really scratch nyash even b4 students while teachin, i cant 4get many times i was punished cos i laughed out loud wen ever he puts his hand close to his JOHN THOMAS to scratch d tin. ABEG ALMOST ALL MY TEACHER GET NAME. Mak i stop here abeg. U knw i went to govt sch, name plenty for dat side.if i continue, nairaland go full and SEUN go open another site abeg

sir CHICKEN...REASON=his name was actually sir CHIKE den we bad boys added letter N to complete it CHICKEN

Oh my gosh

Hmmmmm. Mak i try am. I de go shout for my papa now. Mak i c if my mama go come to my rescue

Jst as i predicted. Its gradually comin to pass. Cos i knw dat paul is d master key behind dr music. So let em part way, peter beta go reconcil wit mayD

11. dnt jst sit dr hiding posts and bannin people,u'll neva make it in life. Try creating ur own site. Ur jst bannin peopl in some1's site,try to be wise . Nothin do us, afterall, NAIRALAND is owned by OLUWASEUN OSEWA . MyClownTUNJI dnt ban me yet

Man's inhumanity to goats....ALL THE GOATS IN THE BUILDIN SAY "JUSTICE!!!" ...i knw they wont say it out, but they said it in dr hearts,peopl lik MyClownTunji, he go ban me ooo,i de cry ooo
if u no c me after two days,knw say he don ban me

Where is his proof. Any document,tape,or any form of proof to defend his claim about yakowa and aziz anti-islamic plot? If non,then this îdiot shud neva go unpunished. So others wont come up tomorow to say nonsenc. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

FOR CHRIST SAKE WHY ARE ALL THESE POST HIDDEN? U can as well hide mine. Mtcheeeewww, but u allow muslim comment in a christian trend.GOD IS WATCHIN U MODs. my last word b4 i get banned. And my post gets hidden, ONLY JESUS LEADS TO HEAVEN.nt d recitations b4 death. If u lik, go and kill wild, den come bak,recite those tinz at ur death and den expect HEAVEN full of VIRGINS. Nonsenc!... @mod, hav u banned me yet or is ur pc hangin??

Chedarking: Is there going to be an autopsy for the deceased?

We must get justice for our fallen member...

Signed

Moo-sa Egufe

for

The Nigerian Association of Goats and Cows
(NAGCO)

and here am i wonderin why some people behave d way they do here in NL

[b]if im to giv an advice, i knw very well dat u wud want ur children to be christians and so wud he want dem to be muslims too.now as d man,his decision surpasses,how wud u feel seein all ur kids bein muslims,u'll feel alone nd discriminated in ur own home cos they wil treat u lik some1 who is nt serving GOD,i knw muslims,dnt try opposin me on dis,-now dats a DIVIDED HOME,is dat d kinda married life u want?...but since u said 4 out of his 7 siblings are christians now,den tel him to becom a christian too if he truely loves u.afterall,his siblings dat did it are nt dead now. If he refuses,RUN FOR UR LIFE...remember wat happened to solomon,even though he was d man of d house in control,he later joined his wives to worship other gods,let alone a woman lik u who is under ur husband,i bet in d later days,after marriage,he wud start tellin u somethins about islam wit d motive of converting u,dis is nt an assumption,its a FACT....in fact,u can call it a PROPHESY cos im sure it wud come to pass.for ur ex,4get him.by d way, are these two men d only on earth? If ur new bf refuses joinin christianity,den he's nt ready.cos i beliv if its true love, he shud be able to forfeit certains tinz.if he cant forfeit his religion to join urs.HELL NO to dat relationship.NO SAY I NO TELL U oo.GOODLUCK,may GOD GUID U IN JESUS NAME-AMEN[/b]

TANKS ALOT@OP. Lemme giv it a try

ogugua88: Abortion because of a prank?



P Beni, stop being a nuisance please. You've been warned.

i de vex oo,peopl no go de beliv my news again. BTW, wasnt dat too harsh for my barca player?

Lets forgiv dis clown for my dear barca's sake. If nt, i wud hav carried out an abortion instead of a delivery wen they come to my hospital... I don broadcast am for my facebook,twitter and 2go status say dis man don born. Hmmmm, time to undo wat ive don. Dis pique self, na to fool me u go sabi, play beta ball, u go de kick am over d bar