₦airaland Forum

alexialin:
Amen.

Thanks dear My search has stopped since early this year.

The guy am dating is nowhere close to such kind of men. Hes not extremely rich but he's comfortable and he's doesn't Lord over me, he respects and adores me. And I like am, like that.

It seems you are married?

Ok

I'm not yet married o. Still preparing the grounds for a better marriage.

alexialin:
My dear, women like the op ignored such signs. Especially when they see his fancy house, and automobile .

Even two of my friends said, I get mind o! How could I drop a rich good looking tall young guy like him! He even lives in a duplex given to him by his dad.. Mehn I have mind!

I laughed at them then just shook my head and I said babes, it's not about the duplex, or his fleet of cars.. The guy is damned arrogant. Who da fucvk, does he think he is? Am not a pauper myself. Because I appear humble and I didn't show off my car on our first date, does not mean am hungry or looking for a rich guy to leach on. Abeg I deserve better.

And it's true I deserve better. A good hardworking loving man. My neighbors next flats, who got married to very comfortable humble men, are so enjoying ehnn? I just pray God lemme not miss my way marrying the wrong man. They so much as pamper their wives. It's incredible.

While women in the op's shoes, living in a grand massive house, they look so sad, dejected and withdrawn.. Mehn I can't live the remaining years of my life like that .. Heavens forbid.

Please keep it up. Never settle for a misogynist because i believe that it is misogyny that makes some guys think they can treat a woman any how.
Always look out for those little signs when you are courting a man. The signs of misogyny are always there! Run away from any guy that feels that men are lord over women. Even by their utterances you will know. Observe the way he treat other women, his mom and sisters inclusive. Any guy that utters such sentences as "Do you know I am a man?" Or "Why don't you act like a woman?",Or "Women are evil!" etc, is a misogynist and you should run away from them.
Also, guys raised in an all-boys home have greater tendency of being misogynists, so watch out!

I wish you luck in your search.

ImperialYoruba:
You and adaxxy should know ethnic bigotry is not to be taken out of politics and culture sections. Keep your Yoruba/Igbo stuff in those two places only. Please bro.

Ok sir!

alexialin:
Peeps blaming the op, do not understand what she's going through.
The mistake she made was letting his behavior slide while they were dating, maybe he is wealthy.

I know such kind of men. They are in the range of upwardly mobile young successful guys, who feels the world is under their feet. And any woman they date or marry is rubbish.
I Met a guy like the op's husband, while we went out on our first date. Immediately I notice his behavior, I sat him down and asked what's the problem? This is our first date and u are behaving so arrogantly? He looked at me and said I talk too much and women are meant to be quiet. I was like really? I talk too much. Then he looked away. I smiled at myself, I shook my head. I said seriously? He didn't answer o. Then I walked away.
That was the end, the relationship was dead on arrival. I won't allow any man treat me like I don't exist. To hell with what u have. He's still jumping in and out of relationship till date. So full of himself. Fucvk you! Fucvk your money! And fucvk whatever u think its scratching your brain.


Op, it's a pity u are married to. Such a jerk. Na to manage am remain. Or file for divorce if u can no longer bear his attitude.
The choice is yours.

You are a wise lady for being able to detect his misogynistic attitude early enough. An average Nigerian lady would be carried away by the guy's wealth or looks and "mumuishly" follow him until marriage while claiming to be in love.
Then after a few months in marriage, they start behaving as if the scale just fell off their eyes while those attitudes have been their all along.

This was why I didn't pity the Op in my post. Most times the attitudes were there from the onset but were ignored.

adaxxy:
One fact is that the illiterate ibo guys treats their wives like second class citizens or especially if you are not their from their tribe ..
You're finished

The truth remains that more yoruba men than Igbo men treat their wives like TRASH, and this is regardless of whether they are literate or illiterate.

Diademk07:
Look here, I wasn't brushing every Ibo with the same brush but I know those Ibo with conc. village mentality behave that way.

And yes, I know more than one of them and they are all the same. In fact, one had his wife rushing to our compound to seek cover from her abusive husband, only for the husband to arrive and start to beat her in front of the other Ibo comrades while they looked on without stopping the abusive husband until we made a threat of calling the police. Most Ibo believes in overruling and dominating their wives which I found odd and archaic. No one does this thing in 21st century.

I know some Yoruba men have their own flaws which includes some spending on their concubines while their family suffers from the effect of it but they hardly beat their wives but Ibo loves doing this. In fact, they value and respect their extended relatives than their wives! Even Chinua Achebe described the beating of wives with a glee in his book, "things fall apart".

However, one fact you keep forgetting is the fact we've moved on from those dark old age, hence if you value respect and peace in your home, you need to gives as much to your woman because women are now exposed and independent nowadays! And even if you marry an unexposed dependent woman, what she would have for you at the end of the day is fear, not love.

You are typing "most ibo", yet you cited only two instances.

But i can name like 10 instances of abusive yoruba men, yet i can't conclude that most yoruba men are abusive. I gave you instance with the doctor i once worked for in Abuja who is a good description of an abusive husband. I can also go on and on to name more irresponsible and abusive yoruba men!

Stop being a tribal bigot son. It will be in your best interest.

Diademk07:
Look at this one. I'm talking from a live experience and this one already had his suspicious look on. I'm sure you know it's the truth because you're Ibo!

Once you start to give your wife the respect she deserve rather than acting all mighty over her due to your inferiority complex, you will have a happy home. Yeye.

How many Igbo couples in this world do you know?

I know many Yoruba men who are lazy and depend on their wives for livelihood, in fact my neighbour in Lagos who is a Yoruba man is a "house husband". He stays at home while his wife works with first bank to cater for the family, is that reason enough for me to conclude that all yoruba men are lazy and are fed by their women?

I also know a yoruba doctor in Abuja where i did my IT during my first degree who is a good description of an abusive husband. Infact, on many occasions he would carry his wife in his car to the clinic, but after a little quarrel, he would beat her up right there in the clinic in the presence of his staff, and after being rescued by the staff, the woman would be left to find her way home since the car couldn't contain the couple. I'm tempted to mention names but I won't. So, should we now say that all yoruba men are abusive to their wives?

Too many kids on nairaland indeed!

Ladyhippolyta88:
You have sense.

Just imagine what you typed in response to that post! Somebody put up such grossly bigoted post and you responded by saying he has sense! Like seriously?! And i was thinking you are a matured lady!

Unitedabby:
guy,sounds like you wouldn't mind your wife doing bread-winning for your family...

You are wrong! It's not about me but about others.I know what I can do for my baby girl!

I know people don't like to hear the truth, but any lady who forces herself on a man either by getting unwanted pregnancy or by any other means should be ready to have something that can hook that man, either she has money or is ready to take all manner of sh1t thrown at her.
A man is supposed to look for his wife and be made to suffer in the process so he can value her. When a lady is the one throwing herself at an unwilling man, then she has to have something to trap him with, otherwise she is bound to face attitudes like what op is going through.

Common sense is indeed not common.


So having a white lady as wife now means that wealth would start flowing into the family?

I see these same village people having the last laugh in this matter.

Ishilove:
Enemies!! They sha wanted to obliterate the whole family, and succeeded quite spectacularly

The driver's head is strong o. Hmmmm. God have mercy. May we not be victims of evil arrows and satanic manipulations

This is not enemy, evil arrow, village elders or satanic manipulation! This is the sad reality of poor Nigerians who die avoidable deaths on daily basis due to failure of government. Our roads are deathtraps, our healthcare is in shambles, no political will to make and enforce traffic laws, every fool jumps into the steering to drive while government sits back and watch. Those are the problems! Not evil arrows or satanic manipulations like you stated. It's high time we learnt to jettison religious fanaticism and get things done properly by holding our leaders accountable.

R.I.P to the dead.

I've observed that most babies look more like their mom. Seems mother's genes are always dominant in their offspring. It's either they look exactly like her or resemble people from her lineage.

This baby is a carbon copy of Chacha.

People don't love for the right reasons. What we call love in most cases are mere physical attraction which dies with time as we get used to those bodily desires that got us hooked in the first place. When this happens, we begin to see the faults in that person which our selfish bodily desires prevented us from seeing and "love" gradually fades.

tiger28:
Again i say you Biafrans use your chest instead of your heads. GTB invited EFCC BECAUSE this is a case of fraud (forgery of signature in order to clear his containers) which is within the discretion of the EFCC (Economic and financial crime commission) Shameless ppl, Shameless pigs!

Id1ot! I guess you greet your useless father every morning by calling him shameless pig.

This could be the result of forcing yourself on a man who doesn't like you, and at the same time not being financially supportive of the man.

Only a few men with good hearts can put up with a financially dependent lady and not start showing her attitude, especially after seeing other women being the bread winners of their homes.It's either the man is naturally good or you are a very hot lady such that you have his mumu button.

I prefer female soldiers but she has to be very attractive.

I think our lady soldiers should try and create a kind of platform where they can easily interact with single civilian guys, something like a facebook group.

Or do they have such already

puremind1:
You the biggest fool here. Were you there when they signed their agreements. Didn't he see ipob bank before he went to afonja bank? With this victim's mentality, igbo tribe is doomed. Are you the only tribe in Nigeria that everyone hates? Even, the stupid Ohaneze indigbo is not left out in this show of slave mentality. Useless tribe!

PAINED FOOL. Cry me a river!

dealslip:
But his wife started the Igbo victim mentality trash. She kept on saying " Is it because we are Igbos". You see all those shouting I will close my account with GTB. Pure sentimentalists

People were against GTB because of the manner they handle the issue. They used the EFCC to arrest and humiliate one of their customers because of a case that is already in courts. That was very unprofessional and that is why many entrepreneurs closed their GTB accounts in protest.

I remember that one of the Igbo men that closed his account said he transfered his money to FIRST BANK( owned by Yoruba man).

It is nairaland tribal bigots that first started playing tribalism with the matter.

Every reasonable businessman should condemn what GTbank did regardless of tribe. That is how to convince us that you are all not tribal bigots like you claim.

DrRoyce:
you right! I actually applied to study medicine some 9 years ago but was given Pharmacy despite my high p.utme score and till today i have no regrets. Pharmacy is so versatile and I love it cos of the window of opportunities it offers

Yeah! Aside being versatile, pharmacy gives one the opportunity to touch more lives via employment generation.

Alexandria in Egypt was once a Christian dominated city until all the Christians were wiped out in numerous genocidal attacks or forcefully converted to Islam.

I hate Islam with passion! How i wish we don't that religion in Nigeria. Nigeria would have been a united and prosperous nation.

No one would have been talking about cessation.

amunkita:
Nah so e be for Nigeria..
Bad brothers nd. Friends..

Mine was my father's brother advising my father to change us all to public school just because dad had financial issues but this same uncle trained all his own kids outside the shores of Nigeria..

Nah them we dey call Uwa Mmebi Uncle & friends...

Your uncle did not advise your dad wrongly. Public schools in Nigeria are far better than private ones in terms of quality teaching! Your uncle understood that fact and that was why he advised your dad to send you to public school instead of wasting his hard earned money in those Nigerian private schools, knowing that he can't afford sending you abroad.

In my honest opinion, it is better to attend public schools(especially universities) in Nigeria than private ones. If i have the money to waste in Nigerian private universities, i will rather use it to train my children abroad.

So, i think your uncle gave what he felt was the best advice to your dad, unless you expected him to take up the responsibility of paying your tuition.

TechEnthusiast:
That medicine is too overrated.
I just thank God

Medicine is not overrated! It is a noble profession that solves people's health problems. Let's not let our biases get the better part of our reasoning.

I still prefer my Pharmacy because of its numerous advantages over medicine.

Foolish girls will still not learn!

Wise girls consider the age gap between them and a guy before accepting to date them, they do this because they know that men marry down, so they don't go on investing their emotions in a relationship with a guy that has little prospects of marrying them.
But foolish ones will date their age mates or even younger guys only to get dumped for a younger girl when the guy is ready to marry.
Then they will start blaming men instead of blaming themselves for not thinking about the future from onset.

urvillagepeoplee:
as of today,I officially cease to be a Norseman after this display of shame,if u know wat sars did to me in Benin,u go cry.Bleep Norsemen. omigongo for life.

Hehehehe...guy you don dey cross carp sharp sharp

globemoney:
So you mean Yorubas are not employed in the predominantly igbo owned businesses in Lagos? Let’s dtart with beat fm.. no Yoruba working there?

Don't mind that f0ol. Most of the booming pharmaceutical industries in lagos are owned by igbos and they all have a good number of yoruba employees. I am not talking about other industries like cosmetics, food and beverages, telecom etc

How many yorubas own booming businesses? Just a few! Yet kids will be here typing rubbish.

ProWalker:
A non entity like you cant afford to bank with GTbank

I'm your master any time any day.

Now, bow down and greet your master, slave!
1diot!

oodualover:
Stop beating your hairing chest and dump your GTB account. If una no dump that account, then u guys are more than we thought

I don't even have account with gt bank in the first place. I bank with better banks like Diamond and Zenith. What's my business with yoruba banks

jdluv:
bad market for GTB butthey should remember thatthe bank also employs their children

More igbo businesses employ yorubas, even Innoson group sef has many yoruba people in her employ.

MayorofLagos:
If i were GTB i would declare loss following the hashtag reactions, particulely in East...thus showing legitimacy to lay off and close all branches in SE

See how foolish you are You forgot that more igbo businesses employ yorubas than yoruba businesses employ igbos.

If the lay off starts ehn, na una go suffer am pass.

The lady in question is desperate for an "abroad husband". Op, advise that your friend from America to be very careful of that lady. Such desperate ladies can even go diabolical to hook an "American husband".