₦airaland Forum

nairalanda1:
Let's say you are offered the chance to run for President. Meanwhile you are a family man with a wife and young kids that need you.

In USA, Biden and trump are both over 75 years old. If someone told them to run for president back in the late1970s when they had young kids and in Biden case when he was a widower and acting as motherand father to his sons on top of his senate duties, they both would have told you to sit down.


Even obama that ran, his wife was not initially that enthusiastic. They had two young kids. And their finances were not perfect.

E no easy for young person to run for office. Young person with tiny pikin and poor funds nko?

What are you talking about? Biden, Atiku and Tinubu have all been running for presidency since the 1980s.
None of them had poor funds when they were younger.
Based on your submission, must it be their dead bodies on the seat, why can't they sponsor vibrant candidates? Before and after the elections I still maintain that I'd rather freely vote for Tinubu's wife or Son even if it was still Tinubu ruling by Proxy. I supported Biden when he supported a younger Obama's candidacy but I frowned at him or Trump's emergence and we can see how crazy America is looking in recent years.

Roseodd:
Please can 2million naira finish 2 bedroom flat upto roofing level.
I will need urgent reply please.

Only possible for two straight rooms(in-house) or one room self-contained apartment.

Seriously Nigerians should learn to start first with just BQ one side of the fence or gate and pack in before carrying the main family house project. This is what helped us immensely and you won't believe how fast the project will be going up without stress when you're already around. Building no easy oO. Plan well.

AtoningBlood:
I need your input people.

3 years ago, my dad sold our house without informing anyone of us. Meanwhile, we all had things left at home, including my mum's items. He never told us where some of those things are till date.

He sold that house and went to the village, he immediately started having issues with the village people. Fight today, fight tomorrow. Everyone in the village I heard now disrespect him due to how he reveal his secrets to anyone who cares to listen.

My dad wants to leave the village to go rent an apartment in another state. His financial responsibility has been on me alone. My siblings abandoned him.

He's being nursing the idea of leaving the village and never informed me. Last november I spent almost 2 million naira fixing solar power and inverter for him in his house at the village and immediately after that he started saying he wants to leave the village..

I told my dad never to relocate to the village yet, that he should wait till his is older as he is still agile and all his friends are in the state where we lived or around. He also gets contracts once in a while so I don't bear much financial burden. But no, he failed to listen and sold our house and left.

My dad wants me to cough out another 1M to rent a house, he wants it big, 3 bedroom. I told him to look for a 2 bedroom but he said where would visitors stay.

I am not even comfortable seeing him in a rented apartment, what would my cousins say, they would mock us. I have some of them who are very naughty. He is bringing shame in us.

We have two properties and my husband wants him to come and stay in one, I vehemently disagreed because he will be controlling us, some of my extended family members will come visiting him and carry the news to the village, as well as discussing my own family and I don't want that. They contributed to what is happening to him now. Through him, some of them will come to stay and I can not start what I can't continue with. So I told my husband to dead that idea fast.

He wants to leave the village latest by February. How do I convince him to get a 2 bedroom flat? 3 bedroom would mean 3 mattresses, and everything triple. My dad doesn't like anything less. All the expenses will be on me alone. My siblings don't care.

I can't turn deaf ears to his needs. I don't want him in the village and I hate to see him in a rented apartment but that is what it is now.

I need contructive advice especially those of us with retired parents, how do you relate with their needs? I told him to think of a small trade so he won't be idle like he's been since retirement and he is talking about setting up electrical pole business, I laughed. Sebi he wan rek me. Same way he did not manage hid wealth.

Firstly, do you think you're wiser than those your siblings that don't let him rip them off? Parents are normal people, they too can be toxic or egotistic, autistic etc and just need understanding on how to cope with them

Village people insulting and fighting him means he has less or nothing better to do and became busy body. It's better for you to Cough out that 1million in the village and open something like provision store, animal rearing or even that his pole business for him. After that lock up and learn to shut off his demands. Shout at him if necessary to know that nothing more to give him. You have your own family now.

Preciouschinwe:
not advisable, for peace and respect

For that to occur, you never had it in the first place.

Myer:
It balls down to the person you're getting married to. If she's fine with it, you will enjoy it. But if she isn't fine with it,, any slight issue will be attributed to staying in your parents house.

Then she better be coming into the marriage with building. If she was so uncomfortable, she would have engineered and forced building project for her husband. If you go and marry women with issues instead of solution.
My granny ventured into different businesses despite being a trained teacher, acquired many lands and made major contributions to grandpa's numerous building achievements. In case you don't understand, they forfeited many lands in Rivers state after the war yet I got over 3plots of her personal property not family inheritance oO plus She would have owned a property in present day Ariaria Aba if her brother and husband hadn't connived that time to seize the money and dissuade her, claiming the place wasn't yet developed and it's very far from our place.

Judolisco:
it's a norm in India.... It's jst a cultural thing here to leave your family and start another family.... But in India it's like a shame when u ain't staying with your parents

It's NOT a cultural thing. It's foreign capitalist idea. In our cultures, children are alotted rooms in their father's building or portions of their father's land to live and cultivate. Even in some Igbo where the first son inherits the father's building, he's can't chase his siblings out. They leave on their own accord when they most likely erect their own huts nearby.

dreamwords:
there is nothing wrong with it as long as your own parent are still living in there parent house,
as long as your wife to be is also comfortable with it

Your hometown is your parents' parents' parents' parents' parents' parents' parents' parents' parents' home.

If apartments can be shared for financial reasons with one person using front while the other uses back entrance, why can't such be done with relatives especially if the parents have a compound?

ufotunang:
It's wrong...at a certain time your parents will start not to respect you and your wife....your brother and sister will not respect you and your wife they will look down on you

Because he and his wife are idle and lousy. If you're both working, keeping boundaries and minding your own business, taking care of your personal needs, helping your aged parents with SOME chores and medical needs, contributing to bills and general welfare in the home no matter how low the income, where will the insult come from?

Lamanii22:
I can’t wait for us to move into our own home so I can at least treat my husband to different meals and take care of him properly

You are trying but there's nothing stopping you. Doesn't mean you are restricted to one pot. You and your husband can still run your own things from time to time.

Nazgul:
Your mom and your female siblings wouldn't respect your wife. She won't feel comfortable in that house

Only a desperate woman would marry a man living in his parents house.

Then you didn't marry a wife, you married a dummy and it would be most disastrous to be living alone with such woman.

Yes peace is the major focus to focus. The man and wife are also contributory to the peace. If they're deficient in any way, entitled or overstepping boundaries.

Samfloxin:
You lived there because there was peace and you made the achievement because you and your wife are earning well and prudent in savings

Samfloxin:
You didn't achieve those things because you were living there, after all, how much is rent?

This is the worst outlook/question on earth anyone can have.
I've experienced tenancy in form of hostel, rooms, flats, compound space etc and as a landlord I can tell you that RENT IS NOT UP TO 10% of a tenants misery. Just as fuel is the cheapest article to consider in the running of a vehicle.

ZIMDRILL:
clearly you missed the point, am sure the thread wasnt talking about it as temporal measure aka living with parent for 5 years while save

The thread is talking about as permant home,

Whether permanent or temporal, it doesn't stop a lady from having her own kitchen, decorations, building her own etc.
Like someone replied you, many married people are living in single room or one bedroom RENTED apartments. If that doesn't restrict them, why or how will occupying a portion of their family house/compound be restrictive?

EreluRoz:
He's so responsible taking care of these boy and very happy that he's in the university, he doesn't seems to notice anything. I know something is wrong somewhere, if you know the type of person I am you'll know I know what I'm saying

I believe he knows. Across our cultures in Nigeria, nobody has the right to proclaim against any child the father didn't deny. It's what oyinbo call adoption. I doubt he's blind to not see the resemblance(or lack) if he didn't know. He deliberately married her after she had a kid at home OR he wooed her back from another lover even though she was pregnant because he didn't want to lose her to him OR he didn't know initially but has decided to embrace the child.
Believe me, you don't need blood to bond with a child and lots of men easily forego what ladies did before they married especially since he still has his own kids.
Many people whose wife had extramarital affairs still decided to accept and keep everything hush hush depending on their bond while some infertile cases actually know the kids are not their own or even negotiated with their spouse on that route. Like I said, it's adoption in this locale.
I strongly doubt you are the first person to notice. Yes, you can discuss it codedly with your dad if you're old enough. You might be shocked he already knows.
Unless a man disowns a child or leaves a will(oral or written), all his wife's kids even after his death belongs to him unless she remarries and bride price is paid on her head while that of the former husband is returned. If it's not returned, all her kids there are still his own. Even those people's communities might use this in times of politics for example to oust the children telling them to go to where their mother's dowry was paid cos they're illegitimate.

DeepSight:
The two greatest economies in Africa are Egypt and SA.

Whether we like it or not, over 220million population will remain on the Africa greatest economies even if half the people decided to be earning less than 2dollars per day.

GreatOchuks:
😂😂😂 good one ,,, now they are coming to terms with the definition of "Structure" which they were asking about before the Election.

They thought winning a whole Presidential Election of the most corrupt country in Africa is about jumping into a confused party with 2 different factions, Presidential candidate sidelining Gubernatorial candidates for his personal gains , sidelining Party chairmen who are the grassroots mobilisers , shaming the founding fathers of the party and not providing for party agents in the North while thinking only South East votes and South South can deliver victory .

They will lurrrnn!

I'm sure they will learn after dollar and fuel pump prices finish them while you and yours enjoying 200naira rate. Cost of living go waya only them tire for this country.

Over 6million without structure.
Election had to be paused and hijacked in Rivers and co before some people could get more than 10 states victory.
Na Kwankwanso wey no read about the Biden script.

Appletek:
Kwankwaso is more educated am more accomplished politically than Peter Obi. You are here saying his move was uncalled for. Were you people not the ones insulting him when he reached out LP?

Who are "you people"? and who's dragging education with Kwankwanso? Biden had been in politics since Obama was just a boy.

Stay off my mention if you can't make any sensible observation of events without going personal or resorting to insults.

Duyt1798:
Hi guys!

I hope this my post gets to the FP, so I can get insights from a wider audience; even I know some might not make sense, but one thing I've learnt from the short time I joined this platform, is that - sense dey inside nonsense.

Pardon me, my write fit dey a bit lengthy.

I currently work with a multi-national startup coy. My net pay is a bit above 400k naira (this's at the moment), I've worked for about 2 years. I'm married with two kids and expecting the third.

Now my dilemma is that, I've not been able to save up funds, I feel like my living condition doesn't reflect what I earn. Shingbai like this, I no get for account. The last I could remember, I go deep hand for forex, e nearly give me hypertension (I lost about 2m). I still dey pay debt wey I incur as a result.

Now where I need assistance is, looking at the amount I'm earning, how do I spend? Please for those that will be kind enough to give suggestions, let it practically explained, as in help me break am down to the amount wey I suppose spend, how I suppose spend am, and wetin I suppose save.

I believe say many family people dey here wey get better experiences.

Thanks 🙏.

Two ways to do it
A vault account or contribution group (a.k.a meeting) where you forcefully put the equivalent of weekly 20k or above. Gather it 1 or 2yrs at once and purchase one investment
A loan to the tune of a particular asset or investment purchase. Of course you'd forcefully paying back from salary account within 1-2 yrs.

Well it ripens in the future when the asset/investment appreciates or start bringing returns so you have to first "suffer a little" to enjoy forever.

Meanwhile, you're most likely living above means. Consider things like your rent, kids school etc. Are there really no liveable options that save you at least 100-200k yearly which can be repurposed into feeding, healthcare or savings/investment abi you just wanted to be dragging shoulder within the neighborhood?
How's your betting, partying lifestyle costing you? Forex etc nko??

nairalanda1:
LP did not lose because fraud. They lost because they split the opposition vote.

APC had no business winning. They had mismanaged the economy, and only won in 2019 because Northern votes came out enmasse for Buhari. All PDP needed was to lead a united front.

The sad thing is that Obi and Atiku could not compromise, plus Kwankwaso was off doing his own thing. Result....APC cruised to victory.

If all the votes that went to LP, PDP and NNPP went to one candidate, they would have won, and Tinubu would have been sent into retirement.

The thing is, opposition candidates lose when the party is divided. As seen here in 2003, where the opposition to PDP was divided into three parties, and one of them ended up backing PDP.

Even if only Kwankwanso did a Joe-Biden move and ran as vice with Obi knowing the unspoken north-south rotation of the presidency in Nigeria. He would have put himself a strong foot ahead of taking over as the principal should anything happen or in time to vote for the next administration which would be North.
Add up NNPP votes to Obi and that Kano would have given Obi 13 as against other candidates 12. Well we know what happened in Rivers etc and Tinubu didn't even get 11 states but that's not the focus here.
Just put the blame on the opposition. I'm blaming Kwankwanso more cos he's move was uncalled for. It's like he just wanted to be one of the contestants with no intention of campaigning, gaining popularity nor winning even in future.

BluntCrazeMan:
Heyaa..

The craziest thing about all these things, is that the so-called Labour Party are still entered recent elections without doing anything to prevent or overcome or be above the so-called “Electoral Fraud”, and yet they are still going to enter into more future elections without doing anything different.

They are there busily harvesting people's money for nomination forms, and leaving them out there all alone in the cold and wilderness.

Their crazy outing in the recent Imo State Election was the Father of all Planlessness ever recorded anywhere.!!

Leave Imo state out of it. LP had no candidate to compete with. Athan Achonu didn't have a general recognition nor sympathy from the populace and is from the wrong zone at the moment.
Infact, no party fielded someone to drag with the incumbent supreme court mandate. PDP candidate, Senator Anyanwu was rightfully from Owerri zone but isn't even generally liked by his own people nor party to start with, neither is he popular across the state.
The APC government didn't need to stress themselves but crooks will always act like crooks and they were busy writing outrageous results when nobody dey pursue them.
Imolites had no visible interest in that election, APC couldn't have gotten up to 200k votes neither will PDP and LP be so horribly behind in count.
The incumbent was going to win but Yakubu result writing madness couldn't allow them to do so with dignity. Imo and Lagos were the top (if not only) election APC could have beat their chest and said we won and can win without voter intimidation or result manipulation but they fluffed that chance.

1,500 daily for hard labour?

Block moulder minimum 9-10k for 5bags per day
Mason minimum 7k per day
Labour/helper to Mason 4k per day
Conductor/Driver/okada minimum 4k per day
Morning market sellers 4k
Loaders at block industry or timber market make more than 5-8k per day
What of shoe mender, vulcanizer,
Fan Ice cyclist/trolley operators

Many things dey but na mumu dey enter this kind company hard labour with no pay. Use your hard labour wisely, you need money to fix your body.

SimeonOTC:
Good day sir, please I recently got a Palm pay pos, please what review can you give about it??

Palmpay, Moniepoint, Opay, Baxi are all good and same quality
About what the other person was telling you concerning hotspot and battery life, the solution is to get extra SIM of the most favourable network for browsing in your area. Share your existing data from your main SIM of your smartphone.
No need for putting and removing SIM cards in POS.
No need for buying extra data bundle.
No need for hotspot wahala

Thanks18:
Pls how much did you bought it?

Oga POS is not more than 30k
You can get from 15k
Baxi, Opay, Moniepoint etc
Go to their offices

TruthsFM:
Which one is easy to manage. Already powerbank dey to power the POS machine. Can someone in the POS machine business narrate his experience he has with the 2 machines.

All of them are equal in terms of service and popularity.
Moniepoint and Palmpay receive transfer alert directly on the machine. I don't know if Opay does it.
Make your enquiries from their offices or dealers.

Elsucre24:
I will be 31 this year. Omo the age is scaring me and I keep feeling like I’m not doing enough. I have a stable job in the private sector with a 400k monthly salary. But I still feel the impact of the economy badly. I keep asking myself, at what point will I start living the good live?
I feel stock sometimes because my job is very demanding and I almost do not have time to do other things, mind you I’m in the medical field and I work Mondays to Sundays most times but occasionally I have some Sundays to myself and sometimes a day off during the week. I can’t seem to be able to start a business as a side hustle cause most of the side hustles I can think will demand my presence at least for the first few months and I don’t really have that.
My girlfriend is pregnant, I really wanna keep it but she’s not ready, I’m not even sure I’m ready. The only way she can keep it is if I’m going to get married to her before the pregnancy starts showing and I’m as confused as hell cos I don’t know if I’m ready. Bla bla bla

Pls I need adult minds to advise me on what I can do.
1. Do I start a business, what kinda business can I start with at least 2M that will not require my full presence?
2. Bla bla bla
3. Should I insist on keeping the pregnancy and hope that things start making sense? This means I have to get married tho.

Thank y’all.

"Marry" her
You don't need to wed or do any legal protocols
Inform her people that you're too busy for the marriage rites or you can still attend if you wish
Tell them you want to close the marriage list including bride price with money
E no go pass 200-500k depending on how you wan show yourself
Have your child and Go ahead with your life and business

tasalanoni:
The idea of a babymama sounds somewhat immoral, deceitful and wicked to me. I believe that if a lady is good enough to produce a child for you, she should also be good enough to be brought close as a wife rather than a mere baby making machine

SINGLE MAN?
ADOPT?
IN NIGERIA?!

Not all ladies want to marry. Marriage is not by force. You might as well "marry" the lady traditionally that's by meeting their people and letting them know she's with someone. This is recognised but not rites are not complete. It's like what the foreigners call civil union.
You don't even need to live full time with the person and this solves the guilt, shame of just baby mama.
This is a traditional contract, no legal registration etc.

mistacoco2:
Hello guys,

For some days now I have been on a serious dilemma whether to resign from my federal government job that pays me above N200k for my current position and migrate to the UK or stay in naija and set up a business to augment my salary. I will be 34 years next year, bla bla bla bla bla..

Cc:Justwise

Business and Investments
Even it's to open POS, laundry, provision shop
Even if it's to enter transport or digital skills services
Even if it's to buy just half a plot in a bush worth 200k every year..
Even if it's to acquire just 50k worth of crypto or shares on regular intervals

beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me..
She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.

The important thing in life is getting a partner that understands situations and supports progressive moves.
Flee if she's still unwise or trying to trap you with guilt.
If you don't know how to leave her then start getting younger side chick to impregnate and marry either her head go correct or your lineage future will be corrected from fertility issues. If everything is ok with you as a man, you have no business worrying about one lady. Based on your family's situation both you and your brother should even be taking polygamy abi na polyamory very seriously.

Forget virgin anything. All of them na virgin and u na mumu.
Na u dey pressure yourself.
Church and counseling is deceiving both of you.
Marry her traditionally.
Propose, move in together, get pregnant (even have kids), complete marriage rites as time goes by or at once after first pregnancy/childbirth.
An Igbo adage says "Dem no dey marry woman finish."

The man is the table.
If he hasn't realised this, if he hasn't made the table, if he's unwilling or ignorant on how to organise the table, the union will be a failure.

okey94:
Some said that even if you prevent this laon people from getting your information for embarrassment , they can still withdrew your money with your bvn through the help of CBN only if you have delayed enough to pay back the loan .

N.O capital letter NO, they can't
Withdrawal from account is authorised by you when they ask you to bind ATM card.

The solution is to BLOCK THE CARD and UNINSTALL their apps after receiving the funds.
Then use TRUECALLER app to block spam calls. All their numbers are spam numbers.
They can't do sh"t

Map1:
Am about to download 5 loan app now with intention of not paying, what is delaying me is the inclusion of the BVN which i don't want to add.I need the money seriously.

Mention their names lemme tell you the registered ones to avoid.
e.g. owing Fairmoney, Carbon, Branch will affect your bank records incase you need loan

1)Never use the same phone number for WhatsApp and BVN/loan app. This can also save you from hackers and robbers.

2) BLOCK YOUR ATM CARD that was linked in registering on the loan apps. That's the way they can withdraw from your account.

3)Do not use your main account for loan apps or go and open another bank account for your family and business transactions.

4)Do not install or use loan apps on a smartphone filled with personal pictures/videos or Lock the gallery in Vault and privacy folders.

5) UNINSTALL the apps immediately the funds are received in your account. Copy their payback account details on a note. Do not wait to default, they run mad even before defaulting.

6) If you have not borrowed from them please hurry up and go collect as much money as possible. Let's welcome them to Naija.

Adasun:
I will try and make this story short and I need your advice please...

... I noticed my brother who is 14yrs have this spiritual paranoia...he suspect many who came for condolences as if they were coming to attack...

I left, only for my mum to call me that something is not right with my bro... He talks to himself, seems lost sometimes and have little to no regards for anyone.
...

This boy hates mum for no reason and often said she is not her mother.he sometimes threatened to kidnapped his immediate Younger brother or slap his elder sister.

He becomes aggressive and most painful part of it all right now is that he steal.

Meat, money.he just develop the habit of stealing...

How do I handle thia?spiritual, psychological and any way possible to retrieve my Lovely lad, such advice is most welcome.

Thanks...

There's nothing spiritual about this. The murmuring, spiritual utterances or paraphernalia, stealing, stubbornness and violent threats are clear symptoms of something you would not agree..

He dun join street and is on colos..
This is the beginning or intermediate stage..
Just like every other Nigerian family I've encountered, you people would rather blame it on some spiritual or blame a neighbor of evil machinations until this boy is gone far..
Solutions and their excuses
*Send him away long time to rehab with handcraft skill acquisition (una no get money)
*Everybody combine to show him greater madness before he thinks he can subdue the household, general beating even binding him with chains and metal lock (you are not around or too busy, your mom and sisters are softhearted)
*Last resort;Get him down. A heavy blow to a joint incapacitate him on crutches or bedridden if necessary