₦airaland Forum

Idowuogbo: Lola sho gbadun?

Y u fawckin my brain over,I don't like it haba go bck to campus awilo and finish d story of my Enabo d bobo dat got Bado frying dodo.

Bdosky on a kentro level doesnt like her brain FAWKed with

Oluwa4Sure: ^^^
Read the last paragraph again bros!!!!

lol
ok, b4 the last paragraph...................................................MUMU
after the last paragraph....................................................lesser MUMU

Oluwa4Sure: The worst will be when my 'suppose gf' told me she was 'Hor.ny'
and I invited her to over to spend the night. There was no food at home
so I asked her to get us something. You know I was too busy
thinking about how 'bad' that night was going to be, unknowing to me
that the b.i.tch was going with my phone! She stole my phone and took my
money with her! I couldn't believe it myself, and I was like WTF!!!
Waiting for her that night was like waiting for 'Eternity'. . .  till today,
no phone no cash!!!

After some weeks, she came with her friend begging it won't repeat itself.
I agreed, but was always careful because I don't trust her anymore.
This girl asked me how she could set alarm on her phone; unknowing to me she
already had a plan for my 60k I hid @ the most secretive place in my room. This
thief of a girl stole my 60k plus all the extra cash I had in my pocket I went away @
around 4.00am. It was so painful that I had to look heaven and earth for her
when I woke up. Till today my money and my extra cash gone!!!!

But i was sharp to persuade her to come over that same day(then
she came with one fake tears that the money was stolen - NA-TODAY??!!!).
Anyways I had my friend f**ked the hell out of her and videoed her unclothedness. Useless girl!!!
she dear not call moi till date!!!

Mr Man, lemme look for the kindest word to describe you...................................................



MUMU[size=8pt][/size]

Johnny: She came back from wherever she went and condom fell dowm from her pocket right in my presence.

No Explanations o!!! her goose is roasted and served with chips

Lola.luv, u got me hooked for 3 freaking hours! Please once the book comes out, I'd love to launch it with N500k....

Now thats a joke, but I'll luv to purchase a copy... Good work dear!

Idowuogbo: *Badosky takes off her wrapper to strap down his big head*

Oh boi sofri o!

Ewoooo!!! Badosky don gear up for world war 3!!! choi!!!!

afam4eva: The North demands for 50% Urine derivation or resource control

By afam4eva, Kaduna

FOLLOWING the call by the south for a review of the 13 per cent derivation to the oil producing states, the northern governors assebly, says the urine states wants an increase in derivation or resource control.

National coordinator of the group, Abubakar Ndimi in a press statement in Kaduna said, “We wish to inform them that the urine- producing states are not done with the peanut called “13 per cent derivation“, the core demands of the Northen people is resource-control. We produce the bulk of the urine that feeds this nation because our foods are mostly liquid which enables us to urinate at will."

He said, “It is rather annoying that southern leader leaders are causing injury to the wound the nation is yet to cure. This is the greatest disappointment of Ohaneze Ndigbo and Afenifere to shamelessly say that the inadequate 13 per cent derivation to the urine producing states should be reduced.

laff don make me PISS for my nicker!!!

Callotti: Tufiakwa!
Very soon he will be playing with shyte!

Onye ara!!!!

ak47mann: 1000 naira note is possible......

No vex, but not even N20,000 can enter one wallet even if u use N1000 notes. unless he's talking of the Value in dollars which is very possible

I wonder when Nigerian Journalists will get it right, there is no such thing as BOAT HOUSE, the Ministry of Defence is called SHIP HOUSE and it is the same thing as the DEFENCE H/Q,

Its not news that they want to use Govt Number plates. What is news is that till date we cannot utilise chipped number plates which can be scanned easily to reveal the true identity of the vehicle owners cos of shameless corruption and selfishness, the security agencies should be able to intercept the particular vehicle by means of infiltration and not come and start telling the nation cock and bull stories like it will change anything. Infiltrate and destroy, that is the key, finito!

@poster: The information i read up on the website of radio France international said that some of his forces,which happen to be mercenaries, were crossing into NIGER and not NIGERIA. Besides a lot of Europeans and even Americans do not know the difference between these 2 countries.

You will be shocked at their ignorance, so i advice that we don't take the report seriously until all the true facts are on the table.

thanks.

Abeg tell them o! Most of these white folks are shockingly IGNORANT of even their own country, talkless of any African nation. Meanwhyl, u giys should take a good look at the map of Africa. Is Niger such a small country that a large convoy wouldnt be recognised and it would traverse the whole lenth of Niger which is Bigger than Nigeria? all the way form Libya? thats a really tall order! I doubt this story. full stop!

NLanders surprise me a lot!!!! When the story broke last week, you guys MASSIVELY supported the action of the players only to turn round to stat calling them names in a typical Nigerian style where no one is ever satisfied with anything!
For one, INDISCIPLINE BEGETS INDISCIPLINE!! Incase many of you have short term memory loss, remember Siasia was an indisciplined player in the days of Westerhoff. Also, the indiscipline of the NFA now NFF has always resulted in counter-actions by players (as regards debts from match bonuses and welfare while the cats there embezzle these players dues). So for one, Enyeama was right to have demanded a better transport plan to the game. he has even shown how mature he is by apologising. However, if Siasia wants to succeed, he should rally round his players and not maintain some high horse. He as a former player knows the way the NFF treats players welfare in a shambolic manner and as a former player should DEMAND better treatment from the NFF theives. Incase any of you forgets, if the plane had crashed, both the players and Siasia would have perished and then all of you blaming Enyeama would have been writing and cursing the NFF. so Nigerians for once, BE RATIONAL!!!!!!

Thanks a lot. I'll tell her that, Though I don't know if he'll go with her sha, cause he has already stated she's the one with the problem. Is there a way to know how successful a growth removal is, cos the hospital where she did the OP isn't telling her much. They are also hurrying her to get pregnant because the growth might regrow again if she doesn't!

Well, in my candid professional opinion, the hospital sounds really phoney,or the doctors havent done a good job and they are trying to confuse the lady. heres what your friend can do; Go to the hospital where the surgery was done, and ask for a referal letter to go to seek a second opinion (which is within her rights). I dont know her present location, else i'd advise on where she could go to for more professional help. However, going to a teaching hospital might pay her better or if she is in Abuja, she might try either Abuja Clinics or Diff Hospital, or Zankili Hospital which i reckon are the best private hospitals she can visit. She needs the refersl to state EXACTLY what was done during the surgery and what stage the doctors have gotten to. As for the husband, he sounds like an African man with a one-sided mentality. he has to be pressured to prove he really is still a man by going for a seminal fluid analysis. Most men usually have issues with sperm count due to their past lifestyles; smoking, drinking excessively, sleeping around and contracting STDs which he might have treated partially or poorly, or he might just be shooting blanks as in his sperm isnt as motile as it should be.
Just let your friend stop moaning and get her butt up and start doing what she can ASAP.

I've got only two words, GANI FAWEHINMI!!!

Her Hubby Threatened To Impregnate Another Woman. . . .
« on: Yesterday at 02:33:21 PM »

I have this friend. She's hardworking, decent and down to earth. She had an operation to remove a benign growth from her womb shortly before her wedding. This growth was causing serious pains for her, thus, it had to be removed.
Before the wedding, she never hid her health issues from her husband and he didn't seem bothered with the fact that she was having an invasive surgery that involved her reproductive system. In fact, she always used to praise him that he stood by her when he could have walked away. BTW this growth was no fault of hers. She never went through indiscriminate abortions, neither was she the type to hop from one bed to another.

A few months after the wedding, she is yet to get pregnant. Her husband is angry and irritated with her and has threatened to impregnate another girl if she doesn't get a solution to her problem. He claims their childlessness is due to the operation she had. (Her gynaecologist has checked her postOP, he says she's OK).

Also, it seems she has a short cycle and can only get pregnant at the end of her monthly flow. Her husband loathes blood with a passion and doesn't even want a menstruating woman standing near him, talk less of them having intimacy
Please NLs, what do you advise??

Well, to be candid, the woman must have had a leiomyoma, also known as fibroid and this might be the growth she was talkn about. However the short duration of the menstrual flow means that there is a tiny window of opportunity to hit the right target as regards making love at the right time to maximise conception. However, unknown to many Nigerians, most cases of infertility are as a result of low sperm count from the MALE not the woman, yet the women keep getting blamed for it. The man should himself undergo a seminal fluid analysis to ascertain if he really can impregnate a woman and not brag about impregnating some chic out there only to end up with another embarrasment.
@poster, encourage ur man to go for a full reproductive check up and visit your Gynaecologist together to work for a solution to the problem. Also bear in mind that as long as its not up to six months that u havent conceived, u cant be classified as having primary infertility. but like suggested, drag ur man to the Gynaecologist.

maybe we should ask Akala what he did for 8 years ?

Correction, he was there for 4years, not 8yrs. He was beaten in his re-election, (gladly)

pistol has silencer meaning they can kill(shoot) with little or no sound!

Silencer kor!!! Silencers are not as common as AK-47s and are more expensive than guns generally. The gun must have been fake but obviously, its better to play safe than risk testing the genuineness of the gun. However, its sad that security in Nigeria has gone to the pigs (dogs have better hygiene sef), its time to buy guns to provide personal security,

The law of karma can strike anytime. You could be smiling this minute, and next thing. . . Gboa! Stroke, heart attack, sudden dea. . .
Unu go wound o!

One by one, the "IBB's" that haven't declared themselves fools on their 70th birthdays are becoming victims of mysterious illnesses.

Dude, no vex, look at the news article again, its a whole load of bull-crap!!! If he was 'RUSHED' to the UK in a critically ill state, its either he had a Miracle to have walked away from the hospital to attend a musical show or someone seems that Nigerians are as daft as he/she is to have published such a news item without it being countered! I only like the truth to be said and in this case, this is a HUGE LOAD OF CRAP!! Tinubu waved to the crowd and wasnt rushed to no hospital and is parading London (if he's still in the UK sef) enjoying his loot,

When did he become critically ill?

As of last week Sunday, I was with Tinubu enjoying P-Square, Whizkid, Ice Prince and Basketmouth performing in London. Cheesy

He didn't look ill in the slightest. Cheesy

The same Tinubu that waved to the crowd LIVE AND WELL at Apollo Hammersmith during P-square's show and was welcomed to the programme by Basketmouth who was one of two comedians at the show? Why do Nigerians love spreading malicious and STUPEEED rumours? He is enjoying his money in London folks, ignore those lousy mumulets!

fake stats, these figures should be higher!!

people should first listen to the song before jumping to useless criticisms, he mentioned NICKI, not Omotola's nyash. he said and i quote; I LIKE NICKI, HER N.YASH IS BIGGER, I LIKE OMOTOLA, COS PEOPLE LIKE HER,

NBC is just a busy-body agency. what would they do if they heard Lil wayne's Lyrics or worse lyrics with SEXPLICIT content? Nonsense,

d VC is even lenient in estimating d amount of d fishes nd books 2 b dat small, wat of my skul lyk [size=8pt]absu[/size], wat wuld u xpect**almost 1trillion naira worth fishes

Come take your time and stop embarrassing my alma mater! mscheeewwww

i'm planing of marriage

BOOOOOOOMMM!!! BOMB BLAST!!!!

I think Psychology has quite a lot to do with this. some of these girls are afraid to let go becasue they feel the devil (boyfriend) they know is better than the new man they dont know. Same thing probably happened to that poor banker girl murdered by her husband, who had experienced repeated brutalisations by the man before her eventual death. I dont agree with any man who thinks beating a lady is cool, if he is such a macho, let him confront some boko na RAM folk and test his masculinity.

The way i see it, any girl who sticks to a man that beats her is the sick one, and I really have no sympathy for her. (unfortunately)

which of the planets did u migrated from Cheesy Cheesy

ANOTHER BOMB BLAST ON NAIRALAND EEEEE!!!!!

GEJ's statement reminds me of a Basket mouth joke, while a chic was ON TOP while beating shyt out of the boyfriend, the mumu boy was shouting, 'I WILL KILL YOU TODAY',

Nigerians - The image below is called a 'Drone'

Its about to become a regular sight in our skies especially in the North and Abuja.

- When you see one - dont wave at it or run after it like you do when you see a plane.

- When you see one - Dont fire your catapault at it as its not meat and cannot be eaten.

- When you see one - if your near a muslim distance yourself from him or her.

- When you see one - Just take cover.

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!!!!!
Spot on!!!! Soon the Nig Police will label the drones UFOs

macaba

its MACABRE!!!

Another fake or 'sorted' result in the making. or worse maybe he was taught some FALLACIES by his lecturer at school too,

Guys pause and be rational for once not sentimental
1, an AK 47 is damn too long to shoot oneself, unless its in the head. we were not told that
2, whoever found the body should be queried more. Probably he shot the policeman.
3, its not uncommon for DPOs to brutalise their subordinates and put it on them,

Mr Fani-Kayode really needs some temporal lobectomy. the dude thinks with his anus and after releasing his foul-mouthed rants his brain now restarts and he begins to act the adult-child he really is. A man with the tongue of an allen-avenue ashaw.o, deserves to be sent to jail where some dude would wife him since he really is good at sounding like a nagging one, USELESS MAN!!!