₦airaland Forum

Owlette:
@lightest asked a question. He asked why A WOMAN WOULD not put HER SPOUSE’S name on the lease and a couple more things. I only said PERSONALLY I would not put my husband on my lease if he wasn’t financially responsible.
How you deduced from my post that I insinuated his wife kicked him out for financial irresponsibility is a mystery.
That was why I put a disclaimer there.

He personally asked his wife to add him to the bills. that doesn't sound like someone who is financially irresponsible. Actually the opposite is the case here.

He also stated that he do send money directly to his wife's account as his own contribution

stephoye:
Afternoon my people. I'm planning to apply for a 8 month masters (fast track route) in Accounting and finance at GCU. My question is will I be issued 8 months visa or 12 months visa when I get to the UK?
In addition, in my application for Graduate visa, do I need to show proof of fund for the fact that I have not stayed in the UK for up to 12 months (remember that my course is 8 months course)? Thanks

They will probably give you 10-11months visa(not 100% sure) but you are usually given at least 2months more than your course duration

Regarding the maintenance money you need to check the link in the first page of this thread and read the finance section of that link.

odafeMMM:
Does anybody have an answer to this??

Google that and please don't advertise one here as we are trying to keep info here that will benefit everyone including those looking for whatsapp group

lightest:
U make me cry bro.

I have seen first hand what toxic marriage break up can do to a man.

A very close friend went through it and it almost destroyed him if not for intervention of city council and his work HR department who supported him and gave him time to return to work.

12yrs marriage with 3kids ended and he can't put his finger to what he did exactly.

He was kicked out and was sleeping in his car while the wife got council accommodation and child benefit from his work.

fatima04:
Awwww, sounds like you are making improvement. Why not suggest Therapy so you can both have a professional help you work out your issues. And if she still can't overcome it then by all means it's fine.

Meanwhile what kind of job do you do? If its healthcare related go check the sponsorship list and start actively searching for an opportunity to sponsor your Skilled work visa. That way you can still be in the country to see your kids.

Wishing you the best as you navigate this period

In addition to that @lightest if you are considering student visa route all you need to worry about is the tuition fees, you don't need to show maintenance money as you will be applying within the UK

lightest:
I have being trying to engage her in talks, and I think most of her grievances have being the issues we have dealt with over and over in Nigeria.that I felt it has being erased in her mind was never erased. Not adultery issues o b4 bash me.

I believe communication gap has being created for a long time which I believe most part was my fault I wil say but nevertheless, there is no way u can read minds even when u tried to ask what is wrong all the times

She is a kind of woman that wil rather bottled up issues rather than say it out.

In what she has being saying so far, she said I should give her time to think.


Though I am proposing we walk more on our communication but she believes am doing that because of my visa.

I will soon conclude what to do if ADR does not work.

The worst that could happen is going back to Nigeria but the fate of our children is my fare right now.

Please note, she is a good woman that would rather bottled issue up than say it out untill it explodes

I believe a thread on living in marriage should be open so that we can all learn from the good, the bad and the ugly of marriage in UK.

What I have realised so far is that I still love my wife and my family as a whole.

Thanks to all advices

You are a good man, you haven't come here to bash your wife so as to gain sympathy despite all false accusations flying around here.

Keep working on peaceful and RESPECTFULLY resolution of this issue.

Keep your own side of your marriage vows to love her even at this difficult time.

Give her time to decide as you keep constant contact with your kids

You will definitely find peace even in separation because you have played your part.

You have my respect.

scobyy2007:
Today is my Birthday and I give God Almighty all the Glory for the Gift of Life. Thank you all on this platform for the words of encouragement. Thank my Oga @justwise you are a rare gem.

Happy birthday

jtech17:
Exactly my thoughts... abi na she be the wife of the man ni.. wey come nairaland dey follow up on a case that seems similar to hers...LOL

You can see how some people are trying so so hard to come up with made-up excuses to justify why the wife kicked him out?

They say maybe....

He is overweight and not attractive to the wife again, he is not developing himself..

She worked sooooo hard to bring her husband here.

She is doing 12hrs shift and should not be expected to come home to cook for the husband and kids

He is financially irresponsible

One asked men to explain why a nice and loving woman will suddenly changed...

Remember they are all waiting to hear the wife's side of the story ? SMH

Owlette:
I would definitely do what your wife did if I had a financially irresponsible spouse that would come and mess things up for me by not meeting up with bill payments or messing up my credit score if we were to have a joint account. Some people are very bad with money management.
Disclaimer: I am not saying you’re financially irresponsible.

Another strange post…so how did you arrive at the conclusion that his wife kicked him out because he is financially irresponsible ?

Sabiman92:
Mr Idabakanta Aka Iyimide or should i stick with your new moniker ... If truly u have gotten your visa then atleast this should stop you from deceiving people here and also stop you from trying to fraud people. Guys be careful with this Moniker.. Lastly i have proof with receipt, that this moniker is Idowu Aka Idabakanta Aka Iyimide who is now yossi4rmaguleri .


Note: The embassy does not collect any bribe for appointment of visa application.. Na people like Idabakanta Aka Iyimide Aka yossi4rmaguleri they spoil that embassy name.. If you have a work permit u can get a work visa appointment without bribing anybody just do your research well.

God bless everyone

I'm interested in this, do you mind sharing the evidence?

Thank you

Regex:
Honestly, it is so appalling. I would never marry nor advise anyone to marry a Nigerian and bring her over to the UK or any gynocentric country.

I will not discourage anyone from doing that because there is no angel anywhere, just know who you are getting married to

dupyshoo:
Do you have a problem when a matured woman with her family members come and beg a man to allow a woman back into the house even though the money to build the house came from both? This is what happens frequently in Nigeria.

I will love to hear from the wife before coming to any conclusion.

However, whether it is a matured man or matured woman, nobody should be too big to say sorry and beg if you are at wrong. There is nothing insulting about saying sorry when you have offended your spouse.

Yes!

claremont:
Guy, it isn't an insult. We don't live in Nigeria and its innate misogyny. I don't mind being called a ''beggar'', ''simp'' etc, as long as the family is happy and I'm providing for them. This thing called marriage in the UK is something we have to continuously work on towards perfection. No one is perfect. This isn't Nigeria where the man can order the woman around simply because he has the testicular fortitude to do so.

If you start to involve lawyers at the slightest whim on marriage matters in the UK, you will spend a lot on lawyers because after divorcing this one, your future partners wouldn't be perfect. You have to be ready to have lawyers on call to engage with you as a multiple divorcee.

I respect your choice to be a ''beggar'' or ''simp'' but i will not take that part in my marriage.

If she has any atom of respect for the father of her two kids kicking him out in a foreign land should be the last thing in her mind.

She did that to humiliate and belittle him and you expect him to go begging?

Once you start begging you are massaging her ego and enabling her to repeat such in the future

Lexusgs430:
On the contrary, wiping her backside, might be a romantic gesture ..........

Writing from experience?

LagosismyHome:
No marriage can work if one person has given up. It does take two willing parties to make a marriage work so I agree with you

That been said single parent no be bean ooo. That in itself is plenty work

Well …whoever wants to kick her husband out needs to consider that first.

fatima04:
Just curious if tables were turned would you want the woman to beg to keep her home or just move on. Unions with kids aren't so easy to just pack up laik that oo.

Yes if mediation did not work and right from my first post on this I stated if it’s not working out, if you tried all you can and it’s not working out THEN yes move on!!. Don’t spend the rest of your life begging a woman or man to love and respect you, if you do that then you are a weak man/woman who got no self esteem

Lexusgs430:
Infact, begging is a desperate measure .......... And would be used against the other party, when any situation, presents itself ........

What an insult! A mature married man begging the wife to allow him into their home ? All because his visa is dependent on hers? Ridiculous! Will she try that in Nigeria?

What next ? Wipe her backside so as to stay in the UK? Nonsense!

topellycategory:
Thank you for this wonderful comment unlike some people making humour out of some else issues all in the name of spicy up this thread..

Bless you.

Nobody should be encouraged to stay in marriage when you have tried and it’s not working out. For your own sake and that of the children please move on! Staying in a toxic marriage will have negative effects on the children.

Your love alone is not enough to make marriage work if one partner is not willing, and begging is just waste of time and energy.

Goddyss:
Please can I use birthh certificate issued by local government to apply for student visa?

@ Justwise

Yes you can

Mrtruetalk:
@lightest listen up if you have ears.

Most people typing up and down here know how they manage their homes, some men even know how they prostrate to their wives in the middle of the night when no one is there to make things work. So far there isn't any case of domestic violence here, you have to go back home and sort issues out with your wife for the sake of your kids. You are over 40 years old and i believe you should be wiser to know that you don't fully depend on the advise you seek from social media platforms. Refuse to be a victim of the system. You and your wife have come into a system and you need to be strong to pull through the system. Yourself and 3 members of your family must have sacrificed at least £10K to come on this Tier 2 with renewal fees coming up soon and i believe this should be your focus at the moment not you leaving home. The tier 2 system is not an easy one. You both literally work for the system for the said 5 years with huge financial sacrifice. Your MRS is probably tired from work as a nurse and needs your support but unfortunately maybe you are adding your drama as the Baale of Norwich as per your previous post. You probably are not looking to develop yourself either. Additionally, you might no longer appear attractive to your wife, you need to look to improve in all ways and set the example. Many things might be involved for her to lose interest in you. Talk things with her and you would find an answer. Legal fees don't come cheap. I would advise you don't even think of that route.

There is nothing one will not read here..smh

Pacypatty:
@ Justwise
God bless you always
My sister called and they gave her a date for her interview. Thanks

Oh great! Wishing her the very best for the interview

lightest:
working on that bro. And for the record I am not the cause of the issue. I think she has being planning this since.

she has refuse to put my name on the rent and refuse me to be paying any bills on our names.

all I do is to send money to her acc despite me telling her that I have read it here that if we need to renew our visa we need to let the 2 names reflect on the bills

I believe she might have friends that are teaching her.

But which ever way, I am prepare to use immigration lawyer to help me look into my odds and favours.

Bro whether you are at fault or she is … this is what I can say to you.

Look after your mental health, don’t let this drain you and affect your job. Speak to people you trust and don’t bottle things as we Africans usually do.

Settle in your new place and maintain a healthy relationship with your kids, if with time things works out between you and your wife good , if not then it’s what it’s . Life goes on.

olacio:
@justwise and others,kindly assist

I have answered this sort of question before though I can’t remember the particular ID , I will quote you when I get it

wallg123:
…
If she’s that hard na to use am reconstruct my garage …
if the OP get money to spend, then let him seek legal advice….but until then a little bit of Justin Bieber “Sorry” is the intimate solution

Bro you know that it doesn’t always work that way, sometimes the solution is to walk away and still raise the kids together without living together.

Marriage is not do or die affair, if you have tried all you can and it’s not working please walk away amicably for your own sanity.

You can not be in a loveless marriage and keep saying sorry just to keep it going no matter who is at fault here.

lma4real:
Please it's urgent, I was in the middle of interview now when the network started doing somehow, the lady doing the interview said he could not hear me clearly so she had to end the call...what did you do when you were in the same situation...I have sent a mail though but I need your experience as you have been in my shoe once...Please all the house @justwise and others...

This is not your fault, there is nothing you can do about it, they may call back or make their decision without another interview

Pacypatty:
Please house, my sister got a mail from teesside University asking her to reply within 7days for schedule interview next month, since yesterday she tried replying but they keep redirecting her to the portal asking who sent the invite, we are confused what could be wrong?

Pls it's urgent
Cc Justwise

How about calling the university?

dupyshoo:
Deportation might not be an issue but he can become an overstayer if he is not careful.

Not sure discretionary leave would be granted for a child that's not British or has spent more than 7 years in this country.

If your case is with HomeOffice you are considered a legal resident until your case is decided and you are asked to leave the country.

I don't think he will allow his visa to expire carelessly without exploring other legal means.

Lexusgs430:
FACT......

But do you know evidences, both parties have been secretly collecting ..........

I have been involved in loads of such cases, with plenty twists and turns .......

Even people from the other spousal thread ........

Again as long as he is not a danger to the wife, those kids or the country..his chances of remaining in this country remains high..

He should be actively involved in those kids life, avoid any violent and go through the legal process.

Lexusgs430:
Exactly the point I initially made ..........


He got loads of legal backing and structure, to mount a fightback .........

I don't expect him to lay on the ground crying , but remember........ He might also be the architect of this issues .........

probably but still...deportation is a long run as long as he is not a danger to her or the kids.

OneKinGuy:
What took him so long??

Look at how left wing media was desperately trying to protect him. If it was a republican governor, CNN them for dey give the news 24/7

Did Trump resign despite countless women accusing him of sexual assaults/harassment?

Lexusgs430:
Do you know what the other party filed to Home office?.....

No matter what its, he will not be picked up anddeported without challenging whatever allegation leveled against him