₦airaland Forum

@Divine-Oke,

I think before you could get "HIM" promoted to the class of "Husband-to-be", you should have gotten over/used to that Queens English murdering.

abi

I know of a lot of women who have not changed their names after marriage, and it seems to be ok with the husband. 

Most women opt for the hyphenated last name as to preserve both her roots and his, while others drop their original middle name (or keep it) and use their maiden names as middle names. 

As odd as this may sound, I read an article a few months back about men beginning to change their last name to that of their wife's!

It just depends on the couple

@flower,

did this one happen here in nigeria?

better she left as a girlfriend than as a wife man!,

i will be happy, another man done carry my wahala

Sure she will leave him if she has a better option.

I don't send My Chic, I don't trust them chics, I have had enough

heart breaks, nothing surprises me anylonger, just enjoy it as long as it last man

If she carry go, you self carry waka

U SAID IT RIGHT

those that are neat freaks or excessive neat-freaks are "obsessive-compulsive" peeps, in the medical terms. It is a mental disorder. Osama Bin Laden was one of such peeps, as a student.

On the other hand, dirty people have a different kind of problem too. I forgot the medical term.

they are 2-extremes, fingers are not equal, but in marriage, man, one has to shine his/her eyes wellu wellu.

co-habitate ko, co-habitate ni,

what is co-habitation supposed to mean?

The practice of couples living together for many years before marriage seems to be a norm in the western world,

Let us call a spade, a spade. Here is the correct interpretation of @calabarmans msg: The practice of a fornicating man and woman, living together, and fornicating in a legal way for many years before thinking about marriage seems to be a norm in the western world. That is it. yeparipa

yeah right, the major problem of Nigeria is too much of this Western influence. Africans want to be like the west. It is pervading, no the truth is it has pervaded and eaten deep into everything about us, culturally, religiously and morally. How many of our grand-fathers/grand mothers, and great-grandfathers/great-grandmothers cohabitated before our parents and grand-parents were born. If your aged ones are still around, ask them if they knew what co-habitation means. Am I wrong to say that their marriages were more-successful than the marriages today? They didnt even think about all the wahala we have in marriages today. Today, we now have marriage counsellors. Was this a profession in their days,

When a boy/girl, unmarried man and woman cohabitate, what prevents either of them from having a once-in-a-month cohabitation with another unmarried person somewhere else, Cohabitation is a modern way of allowing fornication and adultery, and what do we have as a result today? STDs and HIV.

Biblically, it is wrong, even in the Koran, at least rather than cohabitate, you could marry many wives, at least you "marry", theres no religion that sanctions such a lifestyle. I would say such men and women co-habitating without marriage are mild-swinging practitioners.

Ofcourse, please, marriage on itself doesnt put a stop to extramarital affairs, but with it comes a "sense of responsibility" which many couples in our day dont have. And see, this idea is a ploy by satan to destroy human kind. Once he can succeed in destroying the family, whose bedrock is marriage and commitment to one-another, the battle is over.

Now tell me, if you and your boyfriend/girlfriend are co-habitating, and you have been co-habitating for the past 1-year, are you both always using a condom? why are you suffering yourself, rather than having the real pleasure that is meant to be, if not, so the ladies are on pills, right?(put abortion out of the picture for the moment), doing more harm to yourself and your future? If both co-habitators(i dont call such a couple, coz they are not) have a kid/kids, such children are bastards since both of you are not married. Even if both of you get married later on, it doesnt erase the fact that your firstborn was born a bastard, tell me that this is what we want for our nation in this generation.

@flower put it right, its a slippery slope, and i wonder why shes still living in there ,

@blablabla

(ONE)
The number mistake is that you waited for too long before you sought for advise. You should have asked for such advise before making the trip, maybe you could have gotten some advise, better than now that you are in a fix and your visa is almost expiring. You might have even gotten some good-samaritans who might fix things up for you before you arrive. I know Nigerians are a whole lot of nice people, aiint they.

so you wanted to go to America and twas your big dream, and now you're finally there, and so whats next,, do you come back or do you stay?

Unlike many of the yankee based posters who advised you to go-back-home because of a whole lot of reasons(suffer suffer that they/their friends have endured/are enduring(pls im sorry for that), or events they might have witnessed some nigerians passing through, and for which they bid you a caution(thank them for that)), and others from our nija brodas/sistas who say come back to home-sweet-home because of similar reasons(the hardship that 'illegals' in the US pass through, that they have witnessed or heard/read about), but perhaps in their heart of hearts, if they were to be in your position, they wont be asking for advise on nairaland, rather they would just disappear into the American thin-air, in a hope to pursue their own American dream, like my man 'sage' said, since you are wearing the shoe now, you better sit down, think hard(weighing all the pros and cons) and if you know your liver cant handle what may befall you as an over-staying african - an illegal immigrant to be precise(as has been postulated and itemized by other posters), you better get on the next plane bound for nija.

HOW MANY OF US WITHIN AND WITHOUT NIGERIAN SHORES HAVE A "NIGERIAN DREAM"?
is it not a hopeless situation, that even if you have such a dream, you'll gather for yourself a lot of enemies who wont allow you to realize it, and so you'll be forced to adopt the dreams of another land yonder? its a shame,

Back to you my broda on the other hand, if you want to damn the consequence and you feel in your deepest heart of heart that you can make it, abeg, stay put where you are. Where there is a will, there is a way, even in America.

(TWO)
Now that you are already there, if things dont work out: as in,, if you cant arrange yourself a job, an extended stay, a wife(your girl here will be mad) - i dont advise you to do this anyway, or become a student, do MCAT etc, as @ajadudu advised, if all those things are not possible in your limited time, I would adivse you to come back while the sun still shines. My reason for the advise is that you entered legally, and at least to prevent deportation(a big shame, and which will lead to future visa denials), come back and plan your strategy wellu wellu. Then launch out again. The next time you go applying for a visa, you would have a "credibility level", and you would be well prepared mentally, and properly networked.

A lot of nija dudes will be happy to have a good-samaritan, boyfriend-loving girlfriend who would go all the way to arrange them a U.S visa. So at least, if you come back legally, it wont be difficult for her to arrange you another one, and by then both of you would have planned your getaway, if you really want to leave nija shores.

You see, the best thing is to be in a position that if you want to leave the country at any time, you would be opportuned to, but to have your name on some blacklist somewhere aiint nothing to delve into, besides, once your name enters into their blackbook, you bet sure you might not be able to get visas to Europe.

(THREE)
For all those who are advising you that since you are making 100k in Nija, then everything is cool and rosy, dont bother about them. A 100k for a medical doctor, to me is trash. A nurse, a psychologist and other professions lesser than yours in the medical caliber earn more than you do, and yet they might not know as much as you know.

On a more serious note, I think if your wanting to stay put in the U.S is for the purpose of furthering your career and professional exposure, then i would encourage you to better look into the academic areas/linkages while in yankee land. The fact that our academic institutions here in Nija are a national-disaster, working your ass out in nija for a 100k when the world is moving on to the next level is not what you should be content with. I have a medical doctor brother too, who once told me of an experience he had delivering a baby and suddenly, NEPA resumed duty, and the nurse quickly had to assist him with a lantern and all he was shouting at her then was not to allow the lanterns kerosine to pour unto the fresh-baby and her mothers u-know-what, however, the nurse brought the lantern so close because none of them could see, besides that the lantern's shade was all blacked out, etc. now, you dont want to be living in such an environment, do you, nothing works in nija, we all know that.

Ten years from now, if you were to become a great scientist in the USA, these same nigerians who told you to go back/come back would gather together and be reading about you in the newspaper,,,,,saying,s yes o, thats the son of our soil, and you'll become everyones 'broda', blablabla, on the other hand, if you are deported and your face appears on the frontpage, its the same nigerians that will still gather together, reading the papers, and start calling you all sort of names,

If you have a vision and are ready to sacrifice, you'll get there man, no sweat. Not even george bush can stop yah.

What have i been saying? Home is where the heart is, if your heart is in nija, then come back, else if its outside these shores, then find where it is. Just make sure you do the legit. goodluck!!!

anyone who tries to rip Easter and Christmas apart is bidding for the wrath of God on his head.

How could one even think that one is more important than the other. Both events are significant, important, individually unique, and one wont have meaning without the other.

Jesus was born pure and holy, through a holy vessel in the person of Mother Mary. He died a unique death to fulfill a certain unique purpose and awoke from death in a unique way.

If anyone says he/she puts a dividing line between Easter and Christmas, my conclusion is that such person is not a Christian.

this is one of the reasons I like Nigeria, we like to call grey what should be labelled as black or white.

Regardless of ones emotional state, except been drunk or raped, when it comes to sleeping with someone, there are no mistakes about it,

, or maybe we would want to rationalize those guys that steal all our money, ok, heres the scene, the politician didnt want to embezzle money, but he he was in some financial hardship, due to some pressing family needs, so a bank manager took advantage of this politician and made him to embezzle 200million Naira,

i believe that makes a whole lot more sense,

1. God Fearing and God Loving
2. Honesty and a motherly nature
3. Loves travelling and driving

My opinion: ones ability to speak ones mother/fathers tongue is a matter of choice. The fact that one may/may not be able to read,write or speak in one mother/father tongue/dialect doesnt make one a better/lesser human. Any one wants to dispute?

@papermoon
Pls, theres nothing run with a kid saying to his/her parents "hey mommy, wats up". A mommy who is socialized and knows that time is changing will not see her children addressing her with such words as rude. That one says "e", "e", "e" etc, before every word does not actually mean the person saying it has an ounce of respect for whoever is been addressed.

And yes, its nice to dobale for your parents, but in todays world, its not necessary. The main thing is RESPECT, right? and that can come in many ways. Do you know that in some parts of the world, if you prostrate(half/full) to greet anyone, you are seen as a member of a cult? two of my friends were arrested because of such, they were JJCs in North Korea. Worse, they had some tribal marks on their faces. THey(my two friends and the person they greeted - an elderly man) spent 3weeks behind bars, because of prostrating, tell me that the koreans did not understand our culture, right, but my guys spent time behind bars,

still best is to make sure your kids understand and can adapt to the changing world around them, but trying to chain them to one, just because thats where u came from is to me, child abuse,

the reverse effect is that the more one tries to force kids to learn their mother/father tongue, the more they dont want to learn it, i think its to be done the other way around, let them appreciate it, on their own, they'll love it and then learn it

@whitelexi, she doesnt just appeal to me, thats it

and shes too much of a pest, u know,

i think we already concluded about this topic in another post, that THE NYSC IS NOT RELEVANT,

English, Yoruba, Spanish, Nihongo(Japanese)

nothing wrong with that,

hello guys,

theres this girl whos after me, but honestly, i have no feelings for her, yet, she still persists, texting me and calling me , (still making moves sha), even through my friends etc,

pls in your own opinion, whats the most polite way, (to still keep things formal), to tell a girl that you are not interested in her advances/or in any relationship with her, i mean a girl whos always running after you, posing, calling you that she loves you, and why dont you like her etc, trying to get close to you thru your friends etc, you know, theres nothing they wont do, and some girls nowadays just go too far,

who said so, na lie

@teju

did you know that, yes i tried it once, however no tear came out of my eyes because i had read that a tear was supposed to come out of my eyes.

Did you know that by typing "did you know" in the search button at www.google.com, you would find a lot of informations you never knew,

here:
http://www.kellys.com/know.html
http://www.geocities.com/area51newmexico/page8.html
http://www.cut-the-knot.org/do_you_know/index.shtml

read your eyes out,

did you know that your Anal Optic Nerve connects your eyeball to your butthole?

If you don't believe me, pull a hair from your butt and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye.

ouch

=========
A clock never showing right time might be preferable to the one showing right time twice a day

for me, what makes a lady beautiful,

1. the fear of God
2. Honesty
3. whether or not she has the mother-nature, (many girls do not have this one)
4. physical beauty, the way she carries herself,

GUYS
If your rich friend were to fall in Love with a poor rat-girl, you would sure advise him to take things easy, that there were better girls out there, some who were at par with his class. You might even introduce some to him to help him out and take his mind off the church rat girl, worse, by the time you'll wash her down with omo oozing from the corner of your mouth from head to toe, i believe your rich friend would surely see the light.

If twas the girl that was your friend, wont you ask her to go double check on her heart to make sure that Money was not what she was looking for in the guy? In fact, you would tell her that money doesnt mean both of they will lead a good life. I bet you'll tell her, hey see, let me tell you one truth, you know weve been friends for a long time, im a guy, ok, and the truth is that Money doesnt make the Man.

GIRLS
If your rich girl friend were to confide in you that she was in love with a poor-rat guy living in mushin, while she lives in VI, wont you ask her if she was out of her mind, definitely I know her rich mom would definitely say no,

if twas the guy who was a friend of yours and he was after some poor girl, i think you would think he was also out of his mind,

so Sayoh said it right, the class thing is inevitable, but all the same, there are many across the class-border get-togethers and anyone in such a situation just has to pray that things would work out fine,

Ive never had any problem telling people I do not have what I know I do not have, neither have I had any problem telling people I cannot afford to spare what I know I need.

So just tell them, "O Boy, things no dey easy here o, abeg, just bear with me"

I think its the duty of the Islamic leadership in Nigeria to educate Muslims in nigeria that Suicide bombing is not the way to go,

I JUST PRAY SUICIDE BOMBINGS DONT START IN NIGERIA O, Amen, Amen

@flower

I still do not beleive that you cheat because you have a plethora of women throwing themselves at you, I think you cheat because you lack self control and respect for the one you're with.

thanks, you hit the nail right on the head,

yes o, this post is just getting tasty,

@nightrider
i would rather put a "plus" sign between the first and third paragraphs of your last post, im talking clean money, man, clean money, and thats what you mentioned in your first paragraph

the difference between the wealthy in the western world and the wealthy in Nigeria is a Hardwork and innovation.
In the U.S nobody questions the wealth of men like bill gates, donald trump, oprah winfrey, paul allen, steve balmer,  because we all saw where it came from. Pure innovation no Governemnt contracts and fronting for Leaders involved. Thats the difference.

that is exactly the problem, A lot, let me even say majority of the RICH people in this country can't boast of clean money. Its either they stole it from the govt or from another person who they killed and had to make human sacrifices for, its all in our movies, right?

Name 7 extremely wealthy Nigerians who don't have ties to the government.

all the ones i know have ties to the govt, in the western world, its not the case,

And also Kimba if you think Nigerians are not wealthy in dollars think again.

I really don't consider someone rich if his source of wealth is not genuine,

and the reason why all these our peeps keep their money in swiss accounts is because its not genuine, they fear to get caught, Bill Gates pumps his money into microsoft, not into some swiss account,

@hotstepper, well then

On a more serious note, its the government-make up of a country that actually determines the CLASS of its citizens especially those outside their native land, you know, when weve got a govt that doesnt care about its ppl, then whichever class other nationals put us, thats where we'll belong, abi,

See all the runs that the American and British embassy has pulled on behalf of its citizens that were taken hostage by our delta boys, at least they did something, even if they havent been released.

Woe be to that nigerian who is taken hostage in a foreign land, that one na his own cup of tea,

Marriage is serious business, girl. Marriage is not Merry-Age, so let her get the stepping.