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Kondomatic's Posts

Nairaland Forum › Kondomatic's Profile › Kondomatic's Posts

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Romance › Re: What's Another Name For Condom ? by Kondomatic(m): 8:56am On Jun 15, 2017
mrpeter010:
Guys, i have this particular girl in my hood who have been coming to see me sometimes. I can play with every part of her including the puss!, i wanna buy condom and sample her but feeling shy, please help me with another name for condom thank you. Gold cycle is not needed.
Enter a chemist shop.

Greet the shop owner.

Look around as if you are hiding from somebody.

Ask the Chemist nah you dey here.

Look around again.

Then tell him that you need vitamin C.


He will give you a condom.
Dating And Meet-up Zone › Re: Ndi oma by Kondomatic(m): 8:45pm On Jun 14, 2017
laurelbae:
Hi everyone.. Am Nenye! Let's meet here & make friends from our dear state that can lead to a blissful union. Olisa Gozie unu Umu oma.
What I need now is an original power bank not relationship.
Food › Re: The Meals Twitter User Made With Less Than 3k!!! by Kondomatic(m): 8:26pm On Jun 14, 2017
CheapSunglass:
What about okra?
This can only be possible in mars though.cool
No Maggi no Salt
Education › Re: Behind This Door Is $1M, All You Need To Do Is Go Through & Is Yours(No Weapon) by Kondomatic(m): 8:11pm On Jun 14, 2017
I will come from the other side.
Pets › Re: A "Rat" Is Disturbing My House - I Think It's Not A Normal Rat by Kondomatic(m): 8:10pm On Jun 14, 2017
subtlemee:
I couldn't help laughing..don't mind all these people OP,just store all your foodstuffs in airtight containers,discard unfinished or left over foods properly and your waste bin shoud be outside your house it will be gone if nothing attracts it again
The rat will start eating his feat.
Celebrities › Re: Sophia Momodu Hits The Club With Her Beautiful Looks (Photo+video) by Kondomatic(m): 8:08pm On Jun 14, 2017
I want to wash her face with warm water
Celebrities › Re: Pics: Don Jazzy Having Fun In Monaco by Kondomatic(m): 8:05pm On Jun 14, 2017
INTROVERT:
God willing...... Honeymoon in Monaco.




Who is the lady with him grin grin grin
Spiritual LadyF
Agriculture › Re: Bush Meat Killed Today On The Farm by Kondomatic(m): 7:35pm On Jun 14, 2017
I wouldn't kill it if I were you
Fashion › Re: Celebrity Stylish Toyin Lawani Now Creative Director Payporte Production by Kondomatic(m): 7:30pm On Jun 14, 2017
preshdawesome:
Olosho congrats sha
They ate your brain.

Politics › Re: Osinbajo Meets With Igbo Leaders (Photos) by Kondomatic(m): 7:27pm On Jun 14, 2017
This man is trying
Family › Re: A Good Paying Job Or A Rich Man?? Which One Will You Choose by Kondomatic(m): 7:03pm On Jun 14, 2017
makydebbie:
Why will I go for a rich man when I have the opportunity to make my money?

Crime › Re: Pastor's Wife Commits Suicide In Ondo By Hanging Herself by Kondomatic(m): 1:16pm On Jun 14, 2017
TinaAnita:
It's so true. Most pastors wives are not as happy as they seem, they pretend to be happy and fulfilled so church members won't question their position in church.
How did you know this?
Christianity Etc › Re: Is Masturbation/self Service Truly A Sin? by Kondomatic(m): 8:14am On Jun 14, 2017
Ighoga898:
So I can't hold my dick again in peace. If I hold and stimulate every other part of my body nobody complains..
What's d difference..
Which other part of your body dey commot catarrh when you stimulate am?

Christianity Etc › Re: Is Masturbation/self Service Truly A Sin? by Kondomatic(m): 8:11am On Jun 14, 2017
Masturbation itself is not a sin but what's in your mind when you're masturbating. Masturbation as you may know is mostly the result of lustful thoughts
Phones › Re: Infinix Note 4 With X-pen, Beezeless Display In Pictures by Kondomatic(m): 8:05am On Jun 14, 2017
There are many benzeless phones in the market already and you're here hyping near benzeless as if it was sent from future.
Celebrities › Re: I’m Now A Happy Man After My Second Marriage - Ahmed Musa by Kondomatic(m):
Too early


Every married man is living with three persons in one woman.

The person you thought she's.
The person she's
And the person she will become in your house.


The last person is usually the one that causes all the troubles.

Wait for the last before you conclude
Crime › Re: Pastor's Wife Commits Suicide In Ondo By Hanging Herself by Kondomatic(m): 7:51am On Jun 14, 2017
NwaAmaikpe:
shocked

Most of the women married to pastors are dying in silence.
How did you know this?
Jobs/Vacancies › Re: The Best Job Interview Answers Ever. This Man Just Nailed It. by Kondomatic(m): 7:49am On Jun 14, 2017
cyprianlah:
You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, it’s raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus:

* An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
I will pass her. My new year resolution is to stop interfering in what God is doing in people's life.

Nigeria roads will hasten her death and put me in bigger trouble.

cyprianlah:
* An old friend who once saved your life.
I will pass, he's reward is in heaven.

cyprianlah:
* The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.
I will pass. Dream partners are spiritual spouses, I always fire them in my prayers.


cyprianlah:
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there could only be one passenger in your car?
None, sorry.

cyprianlah:
This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

He simply answered:
“I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.
Good of him but I will leave all of them.

The old woman should pray for a miracle.

My friend's reward is heaven.


What I need now is an original powerbank not dream partner or relationship.

Ah don't want to be raped every night by one succubus.


Take your job, I will look for another.
Politics › Re: Meet The Fellow Who Threatened To Kill Igbo's In The North. by Kondomatic(m): 6:04am On Jun 14, 2017
Shelloween:
Dear Abubakr Al-Hassan, you should know that "If you Kill Eze in Kaduna, you've Killed Musa in Aba". Nobody's killing Anybody. Somebody should please take Nnamdi Kanu back to prison, this ethnic rivalry and sh!t exacerbated the moment they let his smelly ass out. I love Biafra but I love Nigeria more. I dread the I would need a visa to travel to Lagos. #OneNigeria
You're not being completely honest. The shit exacerbated the moment Buhari arrested him "unnecessarily"
Celebrities › Re: Nigerian Lady Kneels Down & Proposes To Her Boyfriend.Nigerians React(photos) by Kondomatic(m): 6:01am On Jun 14, 2017
Mimienudles:
Seriously shocked
That's super romantic smiley

It looks not so real though undecided
Seems your definition of romance is absence of common sense.



Okay, she proposed and he said yes, what next? Who marries who?



Let nobody cry when she hears "I was never ready for this"
Celebrities › Re: I Will Bleep You Morning, Afternoon And Night-female Fan Tells Davido by Kondomatic(m): 5:58am On Jun 14, 2017
And the only thing she can offer is sex.


Feminists need to leave men alone and start reprogramming these girls.
Romance › Re: My Husband Has Refused To Kiss Me: See Why. by Kondomatic(m): 5:54am On Jun 14, 2017
Igbos:
I hope it isn't for otumokpor reasons.
That aside. Get the snails secretly, make sure you wash it well with alum so all the slippery too is gone.then prepare it nicely but this time cut it in which a way that it doesn't look like snail. Serve it to him and watch him enjoy it.
Worst advice on earth.


Her marriage is history if he Mistakenly finds out.
Politics › Re: Which Igbo Presidential Candidate Can You Vote For As A Non Southeasterner? by Kondomatic(m): 5:47am On Jun 14, 2017
deedeedee1:
Bro, that is not my point. I am also in support of a balkanized nigeria, but i know fully well that nigerians will not vote an igbo as president. This is just the truth.
If you think i am lying, then ask about 20 non igbo you see in the streets if they will support an igbo being president and see their reply.
The truth is that nobody will vote an igbo as president. They can only rule themselves in biafra.
I am a yoruba man from ilesha and i support nigeria disintegration. This is my stand!
You're saying the truth but the problem is your generalization.

People, a lot of people will vote for Igbo President but they won't be enough to give him victory.
Politics › Re: Which Igbo Presidential Candidate Can You Vote For As A Non Southeasterner? by Kondomatic(m): 5:45am On Jun 14, 2017
FriendNG:
If they can keep the agitation, shun lies, shun hatred, shun propaganda. Embrace peace. Show oneness and apologizes for their past actions and words. I think they can get it but you know what? An Igbo man from Anambra is still fighting an Igbo man from Enugu or Ebonyi. No unity.
This is silly
Celebrities › Re: Reekado Banks Slams DJ Xclusive: "You Messed Up Big Time Bro" (See Why) by Kondomatic(m): 5:14am On Jun 14, 2017
ModusOperandi:
How do you compare ogbono soup to ordinary okra soup. That is a criminal offence >sad
I combine them.




Tastes better than orgasm
Politics › Re: Aisha Buhari Didn't See Buhari In London; Cabal Forged Buhari's Signature - SR by Kondomatic(m): 5:04am On Jun 14, 2017
GenBuhari:
Sahara Reporters are the mouthpiece of imperialist America, a CIA outfit with headquarters in New York City US.

The same imperialists that have conspired and poisoned PMB, to be replaced by their stealth imperialist stooge Viper Osinbajo, who they installed in VP position to take over when they remove the president at a time of their choosing.

Of course Sahara Reporters tell obvious truths 75% of the time, but their ultimate role is to massively deceive Africans and make us form false opinions to benefit imperialist skullduggery.

The 25% used to deceive is used after they have used their CIA intelligence information to give some truthful info and gain some confidence and trust by giving relatively unimportant facts that is can be confirmed. Then when the tell us the big lie like they are doing in this story many will believe. Their job is to sensitise us to help form the opinion that Mr President is gravely ill and is likely to die and that imperialist are trying to save his life.

Wife of the President Aisha was probably used to help imperialist appear to be genuinely treating PMB.

Whilst she visited him they may have allowed his health to improve slightly so she will return and tell us he has improved, but the moment she leaves they would up their dosage of slow poisoning that would eventually permanently incapacitate him or worsened to continue as president.

Politics › Re: Aisha Buhari Didn't See Buhari In London; Cabal Forged Buhari's Signature - SR by Kondomatic(m): 5:03am On Jun 14, 2017
Politics › Re: 2019: North Wants Buhari, Even On Wheelchair –ACF Chieftain by Kondomatic(m): 4:36am On Jun 14, 2017
sarrki:
Mr chieftain you are not patriotic
Secondly baba that we know will do the right thing
Please find another person to achieve your greedy aim
In as much as I love pmb
Nigeria is greater than any individual
Am a patriot
Where's Buhari?
Politics › Re: Our Diversity Is The Cause Of Our Disunity by Kondomatic(m): 4:27am On Jun 14, 2017
True Talk
Romance › Re: The 8 Kinds Of Single Ladies: What Kind Of Single Lady Are You? by Kondomatic(m): 4:26am On Jun 14, 2017
I need an independent analytical nurture
Politics › Re: FCT Indigenes Protest Unclad In Abuja Over Marginalization (Photos) by Kondomatic(m): 4:02pm On Jun 13, 2017
iamexcelblog:
Aside the Fulani, the most brutal, wicked and heartless tribe in Nigeria is the Kanuri of Borno and the Igbos in Ebonyi and Nsukka. These set of people have no chill. Human blood means nothing to them.
Interesting.




I will like you to prove this.
Education › Re: Fulani Herdsmen Invade School In Edo Again With Cattle (Photos) by Kondomatic(m): 3:00pm On Jun 12, 2017
Cattle need education too

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