₦airaland Forum

Don't know if my opinion is of value to you dear April 22 and others. I am a white and arabic mixed lady married to a nigerian. Lovely man indeed he is. April, ther are huge differences between western culture and naija culture and if anyone can write a book on that its me.

Put it this way, it depends on the man but generally speaking it is a traditional society not like our 'oyinbo one lacking in values one'

Not true April, not true we do have values indeed. So no matter how much of a sexy, killer cullinaire, nymphomanic, workaholic, super housewife, superwoman, blessing, god fearing, respectable, submissive, OCD style clean etc etc individual you are,tradition will always take over. Be prepared for that.

As to whats expected from naija ladies, it depends on the hubby all of the above to say the least plus more.

typical responses you should ignore:

Be a woman again - men don't know what is like to be a woman and don't give a crap either
Forgive him: he has cheated on you twice
Loose weight- buck yourself up, dress up etc - typical naija mans response always the womans fault!
talk about the 'dreams' you had before- what dreams? he wouldn't even remember if he could cheat on you twice and then bash you up.

It is not your fault, talk to him all you like - but you cannot teach an old dog new tricks.

I don't think my opinion is of any value as I'm not a nigerian but I can tell you qualifications don't matter when it comes to marriage. What does matter is that you must be crazy to put up with that, why do you chose to put up with that? are you compelled to rely on your husband to sustain you or something? no your not you cam be independant. Sickens me that so many naija ladies chose to put up with what they put just becuase it is 'til death do us part' there are many ladies out there divorced, especially educated ones that have moved on and met other willing, faithful, able bodied men. He cheated on you twice and you are pursuing a Phd if you don't get rid of that cheater it MAY effect your educational results. You also say he is on the internet all the time how do you know he is not looking for hook ups on the net aswell. Why trust this man?

I got a beating myself once before, although slight and I can say I fought back and he promised never to do it to me again. He has never cheated on me as I carefully monitor all his movements knowing that he is a naija man makes me even more observant (as they are polygamous in their blood and nature and culture condones cheating). He knows I know that too thats why he does not have an opportuinity to do that. If a man has an OPPORTUINITY to cheat it is likely he may do just that whether you trust him or not. Beating you when you confronted him about cheating? thats really unbelievable, typical promiscuis,traditionalist, ignorant, discriminatory behaviour towards you and you let that happen. Its another sad example of the abuse naija ladies chose to endure. Do you want to end up in an early grave either through stress, high blood pressure, HIV, AIDs or worse again MURDER

yes I am an irish lady married to an igbo man. I don't like when men looking for papers try to blame the 'crazy oyinbo' when they want an easy escape. I am NOT referring to myself as thankfully this has not happened to me from my current partner (lets hope it doesn't ever either)

you're very welcome

You got what you deserved so white ladies feelings don't count? mmm interesting. I lived in Pittsburgh b4. Funny enough I was married to an african american who also done a runner on me and left me pregnant too! I can tell you I had him in court for child support, he pleaded with me to withdraw it and then I did, silly me trying to get on the case again I am. Not only are you a bigamist your a racist too!

yeah thats abou tthe same as myself. I was just curious! thanks.

Hi, How much do you expect to spent in a week lets say on all the foodstuffs for a family of three if you like, including foodstuff from the african store and that of the remaining that needs to be obtained from the supermarket ie vegetables, bread, eggs, kids foodsstuffs etc? In a typical diaspora setting I mean.

It consists of spherical granules made by rolling and shaping moistened semolina wheat and then coating them with finely ground wheat flour. The finished grains are about 1 mm in diameter before cooking.

LOL at holy ghost pepper you'll need more than holy ghost pepper to tame them. Glad I don't live in nigeria!

PS is this missy he is all over married? I doubt it

Shame on all you cheaters hard working wives at home waiting for you with all your favourite foods

If you really cared that much you woud sit your wife down and explain to her how you feel, but no. SOm enaija men couldn't give a rats ass about how their wife feels. Remember it only takes one sperm

hafees, are you a muslim? if so you know you are under an obligation to care (financially) for your child. Also, haafis, you should have jealousy for your wife (ghairah) really you shouldn't leave the mother of your child I have had it done to me. But then again you cannot live in misery can you? you also pointed out the fact that your wife is in a new religion? what religion is that? would that be islam?

Please Ralse reply me r u serious? I thot I was the only one in this situation

at least he has some interest in the child.

Very true almondjoy it seems to me that they cannot even love their own yeah guess I will just do my thang!

In otherwords

I heard white women are not real women obviously there are not as strong, submissive and not to mention thye can't cook, plus they are ugly.

@nino whats wrong with all the beautiful naija ladies out there?

Oh yeah they are not REAL women though are they?

Your'e gonna end either with AIDS or mental problem get away from that dirt. Bible this bible that do you want an early grave? if you do reconcile make sure he gets tested.

Or is it someone that, really you would not have married in your wildest dreams?

Also cultural difference and white ladies are quite ugly some of them.

If you had 100% freedom of movement in EU or USA do you think it is at all possible for one to marry a white person genuinely from their heart?

so cute well done to you both! good man.

its a form of semolina

muslim women don't marry men from other religions. I have never heard of any (exept for myself)

I just wanted an insight into this issue. Whatever about 50 50 some weeks it 75 to 50 it depends but I can say that I do all the household chores and the cooking so really it is not 50 50, when it comes to bills etc it IS 50 50, folks this is not the issue. Debosky thank you for your response it makes sense now just I was not sure how this is handled in the culture but now it is more clear - it just depends on the person.

Wow this is interesting I actually never thought of the impact this had on my husband. Please help me here. I cannot drive. Myhusband can drive, we both work and split the bills 50 50. I do the cooking all of the time. However becuase I cannot drive I ask him to take me to the grocery store and it ends up we have to go in together becuase our child wants it that way I do offer to go in alone but he just comes in. I notice that he has a very blank look on his face. So it is true that naija men are not supposed to be seen in supermarkets

Presido i know many a naija family and many naija men (through my hubby that is) I have also been down there.

@poster answer = both

Sorry what is ofada rice and sause is that like rice and stew?

In saying that If I discovered a mistress I think I would be even more furious.