₦airaland Forum

Umm, NO!    I don't care how much money he has.  Cheating is NOT an option!  If he feels he needs to "cheat", then he don't need to be with me.  Plain and simple.  I will NOT tolerate my man (key word there) again I will say "my man" cheating on me and vice versa.  What does money have to do with infidelity? You can't "buy" your way out of "Haites". That's the logic I see in this question.  I'm very loyal and faithful to my loved one's, and expect the same in return.  Livedit do not share, EVER under NO circumstances.  No amount of money in this world will make me allow my man to betray me by stepping out on me to cheat just because he has money.  Like the bible says: "what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his own soul?"

It seems to me that you do care for "Plan A" more than you do for "Plan B".  From reading your post, outside of you telling us that "Plan B" loves you, you haven't said anything else positive about her.  The simple fact that you haven't told "Plan A" about "Plan B" shows you are sparing her feelings.  Frankly, "Plan A" sounds like she has alot going for her. I'm basing this on all the positive things you've said about "Plan A".  Then too, you did include that you loved "Plan A" so much and that you loved "Plan B".  So your emotions appears to be deeper towards "Plan A" than "Plan B".  

Have you prayed and asked God for wisdom and guidance with this situation? Maybe you need to ask yourself some questions; when you are with either girl, how do they make you feel inside when you're spending quality time together?  Putting aside their feelings, which one have more in common with you?  What attributes do you find more appealing and similiar to yours?  Which one have the qualities you are seeking that you can actually see yourself with in the long run?  

You never mentioned how long you've been dating the two women.  To me, "Plan B" seems like she is more of a "back-up" on BOTH of your sides.  Who's to say once someone else comes along that "Plan B" finds more interesting that she won't leave you again?  With that being said, she has proven not to be trustworthy.  The decision IS your's, and you do need to make a decision and stick with it.  Don't be double-minded. Because the bible says: a double-minded man is unstable in ALL his ways.  So you seriously need to pray and seek God on this one.  But to me, "Plan A" sounds like the winner.  But again, that's just livedit's opinion.

What the?? You are kidding right?

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=595746.msg7642059#msg7642059 date=1296505718]Hello Livedit. How you be girl?

I can personally say I have never experienced heartbrokeness. I do not think that those who experienced it would smile in remembrance. I can imagine the hurt and embarrassment.

Just want to say I have not experienced it. In Jesus's name I will never experience it. Amen.[/quote]Hey Mrs. Chima!

I've been pretty good actually! Thank you so much for asking! How have you been?

Amen girl! I wouldn't wish anything like that on my worse enemy. I also wanted to include that "heartbreak" isn't limited to your partner. But in all aspects of your life. Maybe your pet past or ran away, family member or a friend left or past away. A job loss, a promotion, a business idea that went sour it could be many of things. But you still have to keep on pressing. That is why it's important to always keep God first in your life no matter what you do or who you are with. Because he will never fail you or leave you.

Livedit has heard many. Let's see:

A way to a man's heart is threw his stomach and great great sex.
There are no good men in this world.
You are forever "bound" to whomever you give your virginity to.
No two people could truly be faithful to each other.

Those are the only one's that comes to mind right now.

Livedit first REAL kiss was at the tender age of 27.

Having your heartbroken is devastating and I'm sure it's not easy for anyone to cope with.  Most of us has experienced it sometime throughout our lives and some can even write a book.  But unfortunately, that IS apart of life.  People will come and go in your life. And whomever was meant for you will be the one that stay.  For those who are not, won't be.  As another poster mentioned earlier, you just have to try to pick your self up and dust yourself off and keep on moving.  Try to keep yourself preoccupied with family, friends or an hobby you enjoy.  But I do believe you should allow yourself time to grieve, because this person was once apart of your life and meant alot to you.  So you are suffering a lost.  You can't stop living your life just because someone chose they no longer wanted to be apart of yours.  Everyone has choices in life, no matter if you agree or not.  But I know life won't end just because this person chose to leave.  As I've said before in many of my posts, everything happens for a reason.  Just like the seasons change, so does people.  It's a strong possibility this person wasn't meant to be your "rib" or "Eve".  That means whomever she is, she is still out there waiting for her "Adam".  Don't give up hope, she maybe closer than you may think.

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=592573.msg7622272#msg7622272 date=1296234573]Mz Dark,

You didn't get banned again did you? That fool always think WHITE PEOPLE are the only ones with hair with his whitewashed arse.

Hello Livedit. How you be?[/quote]Sup Mrs. Chima!   , I've been good, still been a little crazy for me. Hardly have time to breathe.  My fiance flew in this past Sunday.   , other than that, I've been pretty good.  How have you been?  

koolchicco:
https://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0282.gif

Your so silly!

I would hope he would either go up to her and ask her if she is okay or if he is interested go over and ask her out.  That would make me uneasy if the shoe is on the other foot sort of speak.  I really don't think it's polite to "stare".  To look briefly is okay.    If she is interested, why not go up to the guy and talk to him.  What's the point staring looking like you have a emotional uncontrollable inpolite mental problem.  Unless she is majorly shy. But even still. Personally, if I was a man, I would be like what's up with this chick and if I was the woman, I would feel crazy staring like that anyway.

A world without MEN??!    Give livedit a heart attack why don't you.  I couldn't see myself walking around on this earth with just women.  No men, no livedit!    Oh no! That's like saying, no air, no water, no soap.  No doubt some men can work your nerves, but so can women. Nobodies perfect! But life without men wouldn't be no life at all sayeth Livedit.  I LOVE my fellow man.  I thank God for them! 

Livedit, personally loves to hear that she is loved.  But not only just that, but also to SHOW me by backing it up with ACTIONS.  Don't mutter the words if you don't mean it.  Just like my signature says: Say what you mean and mean what you say.  Some people find it very difficult to utter those words, but it's nothing like speaking the word "love".  It's nothing more powerful.  Even for those who have trouble saying "I love you", by all means, write it down on a piece of paper/card etc and give it to that special someone.  I think everyone should get into the habit of saying those words.  Again, as long as you mean it.  Nobody wants to hear a phony or a liar.  Don't mislead anyone.  Be truthful to yourself and to that person.  My fiance and I tell each other we love each other everyday.  So definitely, if he stopped telling me he loved me, then of course that would draw suspicion and I'll need to ask him and find out why.

Hmm, could it be that she don't "love" herself?  If you don't love yourself, how do you expect someone else to love you?  Maybe she should try not short changing herself running after men who obviously is not interesting in her trying to trick them into loving her.  She is searching for love in ALL the wrong places.  What she needs is God in her life.  She need God to TEACH her how to love herself first.  Because God is LOVE.  Next she need to start telling herself that she love herself.  Then telling the people in her life, such as her parents, close friends etc. she loves them.  Because to me, it appears more like she either don't know how to love, accept it or want love.

Woa! What's going on up in here? Just wanted conclude to Mrs. Chima and Atreides, thank you! When I seen this dress, it was love at first sight. Still running around like a chicken with it's head cut off trying to get stuff together. But it's worth it. One love everyone!

[quote author=Lord_Reed link=topic=585272.msg7542929#msg7542929 date=1295184372]@livedit
but brides look oh so beautiful wen made up especially professionally. I don't doub dat it would make u look a million dollars![/quote] That's what my wedding planner said. I told them I'll think about it.  I thought maybe a little foundation and lip stick would be good. I've never worn Mascara before. But I guess for an event such as this, maybe I should go all out huh? 

Atreides, Mrs. Chima and Lord_Reed.  I've attached a copy of my dress I'm having made.

[quote author=Lord_Reed link=topic=585272.msg7534512#msg7534512 date=1295039252]@livedit
U're welcome! Just keep a piece of d cake 4 me! lol[/quote]No problem!

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=585272.msg7536981#msg7536981 date=1295080280]Baby! I don't know but I know them men were drunk as hell. One guy was pissing on the flowers.[/quote] What the??

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=585272.msg7534691#msg7534691 date=1295041354]Orton, go suck something.


Livedit,

The plane tickets are expensive and if a person is not making a decent salary it could take a while to purchase a ticket. Sweet thoughts on your wedding day! Are you wearing a dress or African attire? I wore both. My hair was looking good and I didn't get glam up because with my beautiful skin and features I did not need make up. The girls were hating and their men were licking their lips. It was funny but I had a great time! <---- too funny Chima!

We had regular beverages but you know SOME African men must have liquor and when they had the drinks inside their system. <----- Really?? It was raw form. I think I saw somebody's man kondo and was scarred. (He ripped his dashiki pants and it unravel to shreds)[/quote] I know Mrs. Chima. We can only pray they are able to afford to pay for their tickets. Well, far as my dress, I'm wearing a dress. Not the "typical" dress with a super long "train" on that back. Just something cute, sexy and simple. My hair will also be whipped, I don't wear make-up either Mrs. Chima. Don't typically care for it. I only wear lipstick/lip gloss. That's it. I have make-up (foundation/lip stick) still from 2003 from my younger brother's wedding. Which makes me think, does make-up have an expiration date?

Were you two having an argument about something? Is one or the other feeling "unloved" , insecure, selfish, taken for granted or unappreciated? Other than that, if he just spit this out of "left field" then sounds to me that he has some serious issues with you and/or himself. When you give gifts to someone you care about, why do you have to keep tabs? Shouldn't he be the one who know what he has done/given you? If this is the case of see what I done/gave, then it's not done out of the goodness of your heart. It's done out of vain. Just for "show". This don't sound good at all. Unless he is having money issues, or something more has happened than you are letting on. You definitely need to have a talk with him to find out what's going on with him. I've given gifts to people I care about my whole life and don't remember half of the stuff when people come back to me and be like "livedit" I really loved that such a such you gave me or did for me. I don't even think about it. God loves a cheerful giver. If you not "feeling it" or giving it from your heart (by not expecting nothing in return) then by all means, don't give it or do it. Because how can God bless something like that when you not doing it out of the goodness and kindness of your heart. You might as well stay real and true to yourself and don't give it or do it. Keep it 100!

Dave ama:
Why do ladies believe having sex with a guy would make the guy fall in love with her and getting pregnant would make the guy keep her?

Not all "ladies" believe if a guy have intimacy or get pregnant by the guy that the guy will stay with them.  At least, I surely hope not.  Most of the times in cases like these, these women may have low self esteem, too young, immature and/or inexperienced by thinking that is the only way a woman (girl) could keep a guy.  But in reality, we all should know that is far from the truth.  It is true that many of women who become intimate with a man (especially on a regularly basis) will eventually "fall" for the guy and want to keep things going and therefore sometimes taking it to the extreme of trying to get pregnant by him.  Then to find out sooner rather than later, that her plan back fired.

There are some women who think her "stuff" is so good that the man couldn't help but falling in "love" with them.  "The tunnel" is a very powerful tool, but a real woman would know it takes a whole lot more than swinging from "chandeliers" or "poles" or playing "leap frog"  to win a man's heart over.  Sex can only hold for so long. Because eventually, he is going to need "fulfillment" and happiness in other aspects of his life.

She sounds like she's not ready to take it to that "next level" and she also sounds like she young too.  I'm thinking that because what woman brags about how good she is in bed and then have a panic or anxiety attack when it's time to "put your money where your mouth is".  Now rather or not she's actually still a virgin will remain a mystery to all of us including you.  Only whomever was involved, her and God knows. We can only speculate.  But regardless, maybe try slowing things down a bit.  Maybe you ARE moving too fast. Maybe she doesn't feel completely comfortable letting go with you just yet.  You said the two of you has only been talking for a *few* months. That's not a long time at all.  For some women, you have to take things slow, talk to her, be patient etc. and don't make her feel like this experience is going to be a "marathon".  I know in the heat of the moment, your light is green and her's may still be red or yellow. Slow your roll. Now after sometime she still keep's doing this same type of stuff, then maybe you want to either try talking to her to find out why she keep pulling this same "episode" or move to someone else who is mature, know's what she wants and into it as must as you are.

If it was consensual sex, then it wasn't rape. But I don't think the guy raped her and then called her the next day to check on her or kick it with her. I think many of us has done or said something that we later regretted some time in our lives. But what the person shouldn't do is post blame or make someone else feel bad for THEIR actions. And please, don't blame it on the alcohol either. That's like the lamest cop-out I've ever heard before. I've regretted giving myself to those two other men in my past, but I've never confronted them or told them that I regretted. I took responsibility for MY actions. Regardless if I knew I was getting played or not. And alot of times, that is what happens. Some people want to tend to shift blame on that other person because they refuse to take personal responsibility for their actions. All she could've said IF it was even necessary was "last night was pretty wild, I was tripping, I don't think I'll be doing that any time soon. Or something along the lines of that to him. What's done is done. Some people just have to accept it, learn from it, forgive themself and in cases, the other party(ies) involved and let it go and move on. You can't change the past so why hold on to it? Just let it go, don't do it again and keep it moving.

I would tell him politely but yet firmly look him dead in his eyes and tell him that you are flattered, but you are not interested in pursuing any kind of "romantic" relationship with him.  Just let him know that you care about him, but you would apppreciate if he would respect your feelings and not disrepect you by putting his hands on you.  If he continues to say and do the things you mentioned on this board, then you need to take the appropriate measures and that can include up to discontinuing your friendship.  If he was/is a "true" friend, then he should understand and respect your feelings and back off.

  I beg to differ. I'm not the one to keep "secrets" especially if it may cause harm/havoc in our relationship. But why does my "significant other" should have a "right" to read my personal thoughts/past/present experiences"?  It's true, we have established a foundation of trust, love and respect but I really don't think it's absolutely "necessary" for the guy to invade my "personal space."  Just like I feel I don't have to absolutely know "everything" unless he feel it's of importance of value, but c'mon now. What's the real reason why he must read and know everything?  Somethings is better left untold or unsaid.  Far as past "experiences" unless it's affecting the now.  Just like if my "partner" had a journal, of course, the nosey nature in me would want to know what he has written, but I wouldn't get mad and hold it against him if he chose to keep something like that "personal".  I trust him and he trust me.  I believe in giving my partner space/respect and let him have his own "identity" so I would expect the same respect in return.

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=585272.msg7533310#msg7533310 date=1295026686]That so nice! Lake Michigan beautiful at sunset. Breathtaking view! Girl, you gon make me start planning an anniversary party. Sighs. We got a million children to feed and a hundred Hot men to keep on the WATCH OUT.[/quote] too funny. Our wedding will be small and intimate though. I know my cousins/siblings have many children and that could get even pricer. We are trying to keep it small. Like maybe 50 people. I'm praying all my fiance's family/friends is able to make it. I know that would mean alot to him in turn will mean alot to me.

Atreides:
Aww. . That this love's shacking you so much is uber-sweet. Will i actually see? Oh well. Until then. P.s-i'm serious about my rice oh. . . Double P.s-April weddings are great! On the flip side,i love all kinds of weddings. . There's always cake and there's always free (non-alcoholic )booze. .

, but there won't be "booze", well if you consider "wine" booze. I don't drink either of it. But it will be available.

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=585272.msg7532969#msg7532969 date=1295023662]Well, Liveit!  I wish you and the sir all the best!  Take plenty of pictures!  


It normal to be excited and gushy because this is a new journey.  Believe me you gon be like girllllll after a while.  Enjoy it while it hot!  

April is a lovely month for weddings![/quote]LMBO!   You are hilarious girl!, But our wedding/reception is facing a beautiful lake so I will definitely be taking plenty of pictures.


[quote author=Mr, Cork link=topic=585272.msg7533059#msg7533059 date=1295024550]livedit (f) <<<< Most beautifull Niaraland female (((mwaaaah)))[/quote] I bet you say that to all the ladies you little sweet talker you.  

[quote author=Lord_Reed link=topic=585272.msg7530678#msg7530678 date=1295001267]@livedit
now I undastand wat all dat gushiness is about lol!

I wish u a very splendid day come April 2 n a blissful ever after.[/quote]Lol, right right!    I love it! I swear, it's nothing like a feeling of two people genuinely being in love with each other. But thank you so much!