₦airaland Forum

kinda my business - since you quoted his reply to my post - if he is kissing my arse or there is a 'potential arse kisser on the prowl ' like you put it - i think we should know esp if he is replying our posts

(no offence JJYOU )

if i dont talk to him i hurt too - why punish myself to punish him? - sometimes na chakara - sometimes na vex - i be woman and me sef sabi do!

but never above the limit make up quick quick and cuddle - same sense of humour helps - when angry i dont talk, but that is only until my anger passes - but when he tells me of the 'make-up' promises - i will be tlaking to him soonest - why let the devil steal one more minute of your joy than is necessary

PUNISH - no need to !!

although i know most women use sex (refusal) as a punishment for their guys - lol

you are not hte first to do it - neither are you the last - if however you are not comfortable with it - talk to her - because no one on NL will make it a more pleasant experience for you if you dont want to do it.

i just hope you are not one of these guys that like the favour to be returned and will get hurt if she too decides she wont go down on your manhood

Pataki:
Another ass kisser on the prowl! Gosh! Darn irritating for a married man!

Where is your bible to preach against those drinking alcohol.

how is complimenting arse kissing?

al-qaeda:
luxoire, you said you sleep with ur phone on silent, how is it that you can hear your mom's calls and can't hear the others. pls explain.

yes but i don't think you got my msg i said

i sleep with my phone on silent - so even if someone did call late - chances are i wouldnt hear - if i did though i only answer his calls, my mum's and my siblings - any other person can wait till day break

meaning - if i didn't put the phone on silent and did hear the phone ring - the only calls i would answer are those from the ppl listed above

he told me he cheated - BECAUSE I MADE HIM DO IT - boy was i mad!!! i was soo mad i was ok with it - just told him to leave that was the end

JJYOU:
you are gradually working your way to becoming most sensible poster on NL. God bless. i dont actually accept there is anything good in drinking acholhol but i stand by your right to express your opinion. you have a fine mind.

thank you JJYOU - i must say i also always look forward to your contribution - God bless you too

Lady T - thanks hun - good to know some ppl see the voice of reason

Aloy.Emeka:
You are obviously suffering from gender complex syndrome. I said that women are more vulnerable to the after effects of alcohol because they usually carry the loads that come with careless sex if there are no diseases involved yet you are fixated on it being an order because you are a woman. I am not interested in your right and power so please hold on tight to it whether its worth it or not.  Life is unfair to both sexes, if a woman claims that she was raped by a man, the whole world will jump on the man's neck without asking for his side of the story but if you flip the script, everybody including his fellow men will be at loggerheads trying to figure out who is lying.

That is the unfair thing about life and it affects both genders depending on what is at hand. If Africans/Nigerians view a bar hopping  woman as an irresponsible tart, deal with it because that's just the way it is. Visiting the bars is not one good idea of development we are interested in for now in Nigeria. If you wanna fry your liver and kidneys with alcohol, go ahead and I promise you that a you will attract men that derive pleasure from being drunk and don't complain when you come up with a family that is totally dysfunctional.

why do you seem to think the only thing that can come from being a drunk is careless sex? women will have unwanted pregnancies whether drunk or not - it is a side effect of sex, and whilst alcohol impairs the judgment of both parties - you are right in saying the woman carries the pregnancy - but is that a reason why women shouldn't drink? becuase they will end up pregnant?

is your argument against women drinking cmpletely (as the poster) due to their sex or women drinking excessively? - personally i think alcohol in excess is bad for BOTH men and women as it iwll 'fry their liver and kidneys' (as you put it) - you are right in saying women are more vulnerable to the effects, hence the lower alcohol limits for women - but i beg to differ when you say unwanted pregnancy seems to to be the only problem you associate with excessive drinking.

My conclusion is: there is nothing wrong in both sexes drinking moderately - but just as excessive drinking is bad for men it is also bad for women - unwanted pregancies whether drunk or not, will always happen as a result of carless sex - so women should be given more logical reasons to not drink other than their gender. based on reasearch they can be advised to comsume less alcohol units than men, but to not drink completely based on gender is an unfounded conclusion.

You are right in saying the African man's mentality towards women who are drunks is not very pleasant - but the same mentality is semingly 'sympathetic/more relaxed' towards men that are drunks - does that mean it should be followed strictly and not be challenged where it defies reason? ,male drunks detroy their finances and future and homes with alcohol - so i suppose it is wrong for both genders - does that mean men too should be banned from drinking?

ppl are generally more relaxed and have their guards down when in that mood - they are also usually more comfortable and somewhere they can chat freely (or lie freely if that is the case) it is the best time to simulate intimacy especially in a long distance r/ship

with the added benefit of cheaper calls - its no wonder some ppl do it.

i sleep with my phone on silent - so even if someone did call late - chances are i wouldnt hear - if i did though i only answer his calls, my mum's and my siblings - any other person can wait till day break

i have been in this situation and i told my ex say I AM NOT COMING - he was abit shocked at my reaciron (as he liked playing Mr Nice guy) so he said why - because he would really love me to be there for old times sake, that i should come and celebrate with them - and the wife used to be my friend, telling let bygones be bygones - i said NO, he said am i busy? i said nope, i will be at home all day chilling, but i can think of better ways to spend my time i qucik tellam say

if na me be d pastor when go marry una - be say una no go marry, because me i no dey show face

and i didnt go - am i bitter? Yes. does one ever get over such betrayal - Yes, but if you have a mind like mine - YOU NEVER FORGET IT

LIFE GOES ON FOR BOTH OF US - we are both happy where we are

tell your friend to not go - esp if he still has some feelings or regret at the way their r/ship panned out - he should call some friends and go out and chill together - forget her for that one day completely

when they stand by you when you are poor, unemployed, about to be deported and yet they are therer by your giving you support and hope - helping you - they share your pain and joy and no matter what you always find a way to work things out - they are committed to a better tomorrow for both of you

this is true love in my books

some not all - i mean its like saying all naija babes are money-hungryu, money grabbing -unemotional bitches - which is the stereotype vibe you seem to get even form naija men - but just because some are like that, it doesn mean ALL are

kiss if you both want to - e no go give u belle

as for me i can't stand to share my boyfriend - talkless of husband - god forbid bad tin (shudders at the thought!!)

if all parties like and understand each other and are willing to work together to make the home happy - then it will work

unfrtunately the hman nature tends to think of self-first and where this interest is threatened ppl change and these homes become breeding ground for all sorts

so i would advise a man who intends on being polygamous to start from scratch and tell his first wife that she may be one of many - make she sef enter wiv her eyes open - and let it not come as a surprose to her 5yrs into wedlock and you expect her to auto adjust form mono to poly chances are it won't happen

i love the way the men have dominated this forum even when the first wordf says LADIES

i will go really quiet after that the whole evening - and if he knows me as well as he should he would realise his mistake and apologise or try to make amends i wont even need to say anything. - Looks are sometimes better than words

why would you park and UnCloth before rescuing your mum? are your clothes more importnant than your mom?

and it didnt say you has to go home to UnCloth did it? so technically you are not home yet!

when you get home - sort the bastard out

Aloy.Emeka:
@bold is the major reason why marriages are falling apart in the west. Women are yet to differentiate between an advice and an order. Some of you tell your husbands not to go out in the evening even if he really wants to and he respects that but when it turns around, it becomes an order. Just live your life and make sure you listen to whatever somebody is telling you and see some sense in it. Alcohol impairs your judgment and women are more vulnerable to that. I mean, you can get pregnant from an alcohol related careless sex from an unknown stranger. Agreed a woman can take a glass of 5% alcohol wine but even at that, she should case the joint before doing it. Doing it at home or in the company of other non gay female friends is strongly suggested. All these women drinking an 80% proof liquor needs to enter into rehab.

@ poster - advise appeals to one's sense of logic and reasoning and has some form of rationale behind it - telling a pregnant woman not to drink because it harms her baby is advise that has reasoning to it, and will work with most caring mothers. telling a woman not to drink because she was born female is NONSENSE.
if i advise my husband not to go out in the dark because it is dangerous to him is an advise - telling him to not go out in the night because he is a man - is rubbish! and i am sure he will take it that way too.

- ALCOHOL IMPAIRS THE JUDGMENT OF BOTH MEN AND WOMEN - so dont think it is just women! some ppl can hold their alcohol more than others (know your limit)

DanWaziri:
So familiarity is non-existent in marriage? A relationship is only as viable as both participants want it to be (this is not a ground-breaking revelation). Married, shacking up, or whatever arrangement.

this is the simples best way to put it - a man that wants you in his house but does not want you to have his name will give you belle whether you have your own house or not - a man that only wants to date you but does not want to marry will NOT do it - i think as long as you both know what you want fromt he r/ship and set yourselves realistic targets you'll meet them in Jesus' name!

only continue with the r/ship IF youare serious about each other and you BOTH see it going somewhere - i am not one to take family ties lightly - cos as much as they can love you, they have the most access to do you the most harm, than any outsider - either directly or indirectly via another member of your close family.

so if you are serious and sure about this guy and see him as potential husband and someone you have a future with, then tell the guy to come with you as your boyfriend to your family house, and tell the family the story of how they broke up before he comes - this way everyone knows where they stand.

if you are both just in a r/shiop for now out of convenience and you dont really see it going anywhere - then i beg - watch out - because MONEY IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL and can make the nicest ppl do the nastiest things out of desparation

some of them will HOUND YOU no sorry - its like by saying NO you mean YEs and they dont get that they are annoying you

well - judging from your view point on this issue - yes, it does make you secure and matured in my books

@poster - leave her alone - when she don tire she go come back - let her pray that you still love her and want her when she comes begigng and if she has got another offer and she doesn't come back - move on - i no dey like inequality for r/ship!! wettin na she born you?

Independent - but willing to be dependent on the right man who will not abuse the power I GIVE HIM OVER ME. a man who will appreciate that, the fact that i submit to him is of MY OWN FREE-WILL and he should respect my opinion in the r/ship - it counts - he needs me to make a home, same way i need him to make a home - we should be inter-dependent on each other and value and appreciate each other.

sexy huh? - it's not always seen that way by most men - only secure and mature men tend to view it that way

MrLoverMAn:
@ luxoire

My reason is because you are a woman lol

Just kidding.


I think men who say women shouldnt drink are just control freak.
They are the worse culprits any way.

glad your kidding!

yes, and anyman that wants to control me, is in serious trouble - because i have inbuilt control-proof - especially when it means following your orders dumbly

i question, i reason, i challenge and if the reaons and explanations are good enough and persuade me, then we decide on things together - you don't TELL ME what to do - that's why we are a partnership we discuss these things and make decisons together - dont tell me to not drink BEACUSE I AM A WOMAN.

what's next - don't send our daughter to university BECAUSE SHE IS WOMAN and will marry into another man's house?  

i drink oh, but i don't get drunk - anyman that will tell me i should not drink, then we are not meant for each othe r- there are times when i have gone yrs without touching alcohol, but its a personal decision - let no man tell me to not drink - because i am a woman - arrant nonsense!

now when I am pregnant i don't  intend on drinking, if my hubby says i shouldnt drink then the logic is there and understandable!

if you want me to stop something gimme a tangible reason other than - BECAUSE YOU ARE A WOMAN!!

no it is not cool - as they both have same pupose - to shield your eyes fromt he sun

i don't think it is the same thing - but the effects they have on a relationship are the same

you just basically have to be clever in how you sieve info you give in a r/ship how important and relevant is it to your partner and would you want to know in their shoes?

@JJYOU - maybe she saw the poster as secuity, but wanted the liberty to still be with her lover

hmmm some ppl need to think about the effects of their actions ratehjr than their immediate pleasure

Ppl that marry young immature girls, pls beware!! sometimes they marry because it is the 'in thing' not because they understand the sacrifice, commitement and what exactly it entails

i would think for most women it is an emotional thing!

their partner 'ignores' them emotionally - they find comfort/solace/friendship in some one of the opposite sex outside of their relationship and before you know it - feelings start to develop and one thing leads to another - she might not have meant it that way - it just happened - and most times it will be going on for a while before her husband b/f will notice.

other women are just like men - they are not satisfied with what they have - they do not want to compromise and think their man is perfect in every other way but lacks sexual competence, and so they'll keep him but get the physical gratification from elsewhere