₦airaland Forum

it is not easy for 2 reasons

1. with the right person it can be the most memorable, warm loving experience you will ever have in your life

2. with the wrong person - it will be the most  regretted thing you ever did

whether for the right reasons or the wrong reaons a woman never forgets her first LOVEr

biola44:

hahahah was that for me abi the poster?

biola44:
may be d guy was under pressure,

under whic kind pressure? so you willl take it out on your partner? how do you know the pressure / pain she is under is not even more painful and more long term than yours?

i knwo we are human - but sometimes we need to start being a little more considerate and less self centred in our r/ships.

so you are stresseed out - so what? is that why you have to shout and behave irrationally?

@biola - for the record - sorry that was not directed at you personally - just ppl that seem to take stress / pressure as an excuse to be hurtful

then the older brother needs to know from BOTH of them

they should discuss it and tell the elder bro together - he has a right to make an INFORMED decison on the woman he is about to comit the rest of his life to - he needs to know and decide whether he can deal with it or not.

it also depends on what kinda r/ship the girl had with the younger brother - was it sexual? was it intimate? or was it just courtship - that will help decide the way in which the older brother behaves.

i'm sure if things were reveresed the girl would want to know if it were her sister - so why keep it from him?

don't engage in someone else emotionally if you are alreayd spoken for - na so trbl dey start

soon you will start saying you are not happy with you hubby - or start thinking the grass in greener on the other side

i say talk to your bf about the issue so he is aware and you dont have to feel under pressure when around him, cos i bet that doesn't help too.

1. - see a doctor - find our if there are any medical explanations
2. - pray about it
3. - be proactive and do not drink water,tea, alcohol or anything with direlective atleast 3hrs before bedtime
4. - wake up regularly about eveyr 2-3hrs to empty your bladder.

If your bf really loves you he will help you through this and you should start trying to tell when your bladder is full

i seriously dislike one of my exes - but i spent so much time disliking him that i started becoming a bitter person - i still dislike him inetensely and eveyrtime i hear soemthing bad has happened to him - i rejoice a little on the inside - i cant help it

but the difference now is, i dont spend my time and life, trying to make his life difficult (accidentally) or making 'bad' coincidences happen to him - i just leave it to God now and fate - and it is truly gratifying to see myself with someone else and Karma paying him back slowly and painfully over time

I released the anger and freed myself from the pain

God hears and answers the cries of the innocent

time makes all things easier to live with and bear!

even the pasisng of a loved and dear one - feels lighter and easier to deal with the more time has passed.

It doesnt erase the hurt or the scar even - but it makes it easier to deal with

it depends on how they both relate

i have a busy job and so does my partner - we usually text each other during the day - so if i get a call then i know it is improtant and he needs to TALK to me, not just text

so i make myself available even if it is just for 2min to find out what the matter is - i will go to the toilet or anywhere else with signal

and the reverse is true, we both care for each other deeply and due to the pattern we have established we usually know when there is a problem and how to alert the other person to it

so in this case, if i got that kind of reaction - i will hang up and deal with him when i leave the hospital

na2day?:
are u talking from experience?

YES

let me assume i know where this guy is coming from and try not to be a smart ass about it - although i do agree with the idea that there is no correlation btwn love and colour.

However, my dear to answer your quesiton - YES - black women do and can love - they love with their heart, and with a passion so fierce it is there for life - it is soo deep that when you hurt them - they find it really hard to get over it and move on to the next man because they love u deeply

i think SOME of them have a problem with how to EXPRESS that love - this may be because of our culture and traditions back home, not allowing overt expressions of love/emotions - in some cases even seeing it as a weakness.

we stand by our men back home, they beat us we are there, they cheat we are there, in days of old it would be because you had no where to go - but woith female emancipation today, if a woman stayed with you through thick and thin and believed in you for richer for poorer it is because she LOVES YOU and we are LOYAL to you and only you

Lol – so u know I was taken – yet you were trying it on!! – cheeky

About ppl in CW – funny u say that – cos they are actually the opposite AFTER 6pm – they become a completely brand new beings – lol

Well I won’t be drinking beer – Large of Small – cos I don’t like it – and my bobo knows that – he knows my preference.

erico2k2:
haha canarywhaf are for those in the financial sectors lol and weather spoon would be where you go with ur family in the weekend, true its the cheapest in london, there are quite loads of wine bars in claphan Jct, drinking of tomuch Pint=beer belly lol well on a serious note, there are better places in the west ned where you can have a meal and have a decent bottle of wine for under 30 quid I think, I would only drink beer when Im with the Boyz ie we are doing Pub to Pub lolU ned to try it, its fun.(Sorry fellow NL for derailing oh,nah she dey corupt me nowwwww, btw,I need to ask Mum if I can take you on a date first sha lol

well CW happens to be where i work - so i know a few good nook and cranny hidden spots there - haven't really been out drinking in Clapham actually Would look into it further – lol

Why would u need permission from your mum to take me out on a date (Omo mummy)

Sorry to disappoint I would be unable to attend a ‘date’ as such with you as I am happily taken. I am sure you’d have been a great companion though

are you 32 but looking closer to 40 and behaving like that - or are you a 'yuppy' 32yr old who looks/acts and dresses close to 28?

JJYOU:
i am not supposed to say you are mostly right cos you are female but you know you are right. i dont believe illiterates are that easy to manage. if they were why are there loads of fights and seperations in vilages. another thing most people dont look at is what has a typical un-educated person got to contribute to your life than use the resources to live up to the jones.

a stuborn and difficult person will be educated or illiterate. i think people who want to live with them have some insecurity troubles.

i agree

erico2k2:
lol U are one hell of a funny chic lol I meant bigger Girls as in Big Boyz, I aint talking bout FAT GIRLS if thats what you thought I meant, so chill,I dont wanna get punshed yet, stilll like my face,anyway now you know
If you was my Date, where would you rather go to PUB or WINE BAR?

thank you - ok now i get your drift on the biggy issue!

erms IF i were your date depends ohhh - on how i guage you - some guys are pretty chilled out and i like Weatherspoon - because i know the drinks are cheap and any guy wanting to take a girl out can afford a beer and a burger for under a tenner! - yes i can be condierate like that. - sop if u cant afford that - maybe you shouldn't even be taliking to me like that - let alone offering a date

but if you turn up in one flash car trying to claim big boyz me too go do big girlz now  - i know some pretty swanky/cosy/funky bars in Canary wharf by the docks - they'd do nicely

i adapt easily - just depends on howu present yourself to me

where did you think i'd go? and where would you take me

P.S
i think we are derailing the post (sorry my fellow NL)

erico - lol - we have given each other some 'space' - because we spend every waking minute we are not at work together - and sometimes you need space to do your own thing - to be yourself

some married couples do it - they arrange to go visit a family member for some time one yr or once every 2yrs - either alone or with the kids - giving the other person and each other some time and space.

but NO i have never done a BREAK before as i see that one as excuse for philandering

Eriko - lol ok so na d size for d pint dey fear you? lol no wahala na wine - some men prefer their women to no behave in what they consider 'manly' ways and to some ordering 2 pints one for him and her would be a bit daunting for the guy

erico2k2:
luxoire, you don de change ur mind Abi, abi you dey amongst the ones wen they pull pint for toothing Bec lol anyway seriously if a girl pulls a full pint man thats a major turn off for rme, half a Pint would be nice, I'd rather my date to have a glass of anything else either than PINT though lol Red or White wine would do or rosey, or [b]for the bigger gir[/b]ls do brandy n coke or any other spirites, you dont wanna wee 10 times along the way home

woawww hang on a minute - in what way did you use the word BIGGER?

some literate women would question you and seek reason in what you say / do. others wouldn't - it just comes down to an indivisula's predisposition.

an illiterate woman may be easier to control and take your word for gospel - however, bear in mind that the illiterate ones may be very uncivilised, barbaric and potentially ' dangerous' in the way they handle confirmtations and arguments, just because they do not know a 'better/civilised' approach on how to deal with things

for what it is worth - if you love a woman and you see something beautiful in her then encourge her to be the woman you want her to be - encourage her to maximise her potentials! I would like to think no man wants and unrefined woman on his arm in public - unless of course he marries her to keep her at home to amke babies with, whilst he continues to 'chase' other women outside

I used to think maturity is in age. However i realised it is in the mind
i am with a young guy (still older than me - i am still in the group of women who would not attempt to date anyone younger than me) - who behaves more matureely than my ex who was older!

so i think it depends on the individual - but generally a mature mind has a lot more to offer a woman who is looking for comfort and stability in her life than an immature soul!!

depends how you guys define a break - for couples that are used to spending 24/7 together and are always together - one can start feeling 'confused' or that they are being 'taken for granted' or may be that they are not being 'fulfilled' so in this case a break may be 2/3weeks or how ever much time you choose apart - talking on the phone but not seeing each other - putting that little distance there!

for others a break is we 'split up' for 2 weeks no contact - go our separate ways - try the outside world see if there is nothing better out there for either of us and if we dont see anything out there we come back together - if we see it - we stay on a permanent break - lol

if a couple is discussing a break - consider your circumstances, define the boundaries of the break and what it is you both want to do and want out of it - seek alternative means of resolving the issues that dog you - without separating - because dat one opens d way for tempatation alot of ppl are not ready to handle

she doesn't value you and what you have in the relationship - if you really love her and want to make a go of things - talk to her and find out what she wants - how old is she sef? and how old are you?

are you thinking of marriage and commitment that you are ready for and perhaps she is even thinking in same lines? perhaps she is not ready for the kind of commitment you seek from a partner?!

i say COMMUNICATE, don't assume that just cos she has been with your for 3yr she is thinking of settling down with you - find out WHAT she wants. WHERE she sees the relationship going. HOW she plans on achieving what it is she wants from you and the relationship.

YOU MAY REALISE YOU ARE BOTH NOT EVEN SIGNING FROM SAME HYMN BOOK - TALKLESS OF PAGE.

@erico
hahahaha some ppl's taste buds are different some ppl like beer, wine, spirits

personally i am partial to a bit of Brandy or Cognac on the rocks - or with a splash of coke

in the absence of my preference above, i'd go for white wine, if that is not there then rose

beer would be my last option - and if i had to have it (which i would normally go for a sweet drink instead or alcopop) i could DO IT LIKE A LADY AND ORDER A HALF-PINT INSTEAD if na d big pint glass u dey fear - then we'll have it in half-pints instead - the lady-like measures - lol

sistawoman:
I can think of serval ways just pick one:

lying
cheating
beating me
stealing from me
harming a family member
verbal abuse
being a 419er

imagine a character like this wanting me to take him back whetehr or not he has changed is for someone else to discover not me!

its your choice - sadly some parents still hold stereotypical views like that - prove them wrong

dont try to allienate them - do you best to include them and let them see how wonderful you and this guy are and how he makes you happy!

after eveyrthing if they are not very stubborn - seeng that you are happy is enough reason for any parent's heart to soften - just be patient with them and pray over it.

Nothing wrong with white men - they have their own style and brothers to ahve theirs - depends on what tickles your fancy

LadyT:
So a glass of wine with a meal is bad?

Its the falling over punch drunk that I think is a serious problem. I dont see the need for male or female to drink themselves into a stupor.
But I see nothing wrong with people drinking socially.

Its when people feel that they cannot have fun unless they have a drink . Thats when I see it as a problem.


p.s Pataki please do not derail this topic.

HEAR HEAR!!

ThoniaSlim:
Sorry to say. . .but all you've said made no sense especially if the guy in question is a nuisance that was worth dumping!

hear hear - this will make his 'reaching out calls and e-mails' all the more irritating

hahahahahaaha - this thread funny - cut your coat according to your material - lol - hahaha you set the precedence so continue it