This is quite scary. Imagine if a husband is checking his wife's phone and smashing it up and down. Equally imagine if he makes his wife stay within his sights every time and ensure she is never out of his sight...Many people here would be saying Run Run Run...

She has some form of mental illness and is an accident waiting to happen. How OP is able to cope so far baffles me. However this kind of arrangement isnt sustainable as the OP has already realised which is why be is seeking help

Its time to start refusing all those demands. One by one until she realises everything has changed. Watch for her reaction and pray she doesn't harm you.

Most importantly is to refuse for your wife to check your phone every three days. Cheating or not. That level of distrust is unacceptable to anyone...man or woman. How you allow your wife do this shows the kind of weakling you are(no disrespect sir)

truthfulparrot:
They are protecting their own ambitions and selfish interests Where were they when the government was disobeying court orders.

The fear of sanctions and traveling bans by US and its allies on the ruling class and their family members compelled them to advise the President to release 'Sowore and Dasuki.
Nigeria was drifting into anarchy especially with the arrest of 'Sowore and fragrant disregard for the rule of law. The editorial by punch newspaper must have caught the presidency unaware. And other media houses and Nigerians were getting bolder.

Spot on. 110%

midnighter:


It seems you have more of a problem with his attitude than what he actually wrote.

The OP can still pick what he needs out of the advice. Its actually his own fault in the first place for not giving enough information and leaving everybody to jump to conclusions

I saw something valuable in what that guy said anyway. OP may not realise that he has let himself go and is no longer attractive to his wife, which is a valid suggestion.

If you say that theres nothing special about people who dont have dead bedrooms he could equally say that theres nothing particularly ground-breaking about advising somebody to read about other people who have dead bedrooms. Thats why I said that both of you had a point.

Or to add to your several interesting viewpoints countering the LordAdam, OP and infact everyone else can say that THERE is absolutely NOTHING special about dead beat dads and husbands who DO not show up in their responsibilities at home, financially and otherwise

It's not a one way traffic na

vaca1:

Get it outside? I laugh in Swahili. You never jam the one wey go rubbish your destiny. Many of them out there ready to destroy. Before you know it you don see yourself for villla. I am not just talking. I've seen happened live.

Be careful man.

Ok fine. Awon destiny destroyer. Is the one at home not destroying his destiny ni?

I really don't get this. A man is begging and his own wife is doing shakara. It baffles me beyond baffle cos I have seen so many women come and complain that for months or years their husbands don't touch them. Some are banished from their matrimonial beds even

Several women that have come for STI issues have also complained their men arent simply interested in them anymore leading them to stray. So this is a key reason for cheating. Mind you, these r mostly women complaining

It's new for a man to be denied constant sex by his wife without her fearing severe consequences. Stranger still that he is begging and being insulted on top of the matter while providing adequately for his family.

I do not know how these works but it takes a woman that knows her man to do this. It also takes a woman that knows she won't face dire consequences to try this

So essentially this speaks volume of the weakness in character of the OP which the wife knows. A lot of men I know are wired such that this is a virtual impossibility from their wives even if she desires to do such. The thought of the terrible repercussions would quickly not allow her try it

Experience have shown that some women quickly take charge when they see a weakness rather than use such weaknesses to uplift their men.

Finally my advise: sex is a vital part of marriage and even relationships. If you are not getting it then the salt of the marriage is gone. Use the extremity of iron hand here and assert control. Stop being a sissy and take charge of your home. If you can't get your wife to submit to you as the bible said, I am sure it is not only in the matters of sex that you are also failing

You have just finished bashing your hubby. I want to ask. Didn't you date him? Didnt you see all these traits before marying him??

Women always claim the victim when things don't work out but they wouldnt say how they contributed to make things bad

Until I hear both sides of the story I would never apportion blame. However it is your decision and your life and whatever you feel is best for you is what you should do

And the essence of this is to? Like we dont already know that while there are bad apples there are also good ones

Next

There is no such provision in the amended Amcon act of 2019. The salient provisions are as regards giving Amcon access to the bank accounts of debtors and extra powers to recover debts even using extra judicial means

There is no amendment on the existing appointment of chairmen or requirement that they must be deputy governors of CBN

Whoever came with this article is in bad faith

Impressive. Takes a real man to publicly apologise to his woman. I pray she forgives him

But she offered to come back to Nigeria and EFCC as at then refused

Have they forgotten this?

Le2money:
Yes...that's true provided he or she uses her PrEP drugs regularly...but the drugs is expensive and scarce in Nigeria here. PrEP is a drug which ppl who go by exposing their life or their life at risk of getting the infection do take to prevent it...Example are d sex workers. But it cost ALMOST half a million.

Half a million bawo..PreP meds are mostly Travuda and it cost less than N10k

philos:
Before this guy should come here to celebrate his supposedly HIV negative status, he should have waited for at least SIX months to go for another test. He thinks he's really HIV negative after testing negative twice in a one week interval. If you just had your last unprotected contact, it'll be too early to conclude you're negative. To be sure, you need to abstain for six months, then go for another test, if you're negative, then you really are.

No uncle, the technology existing now means that virtually most people would test positive within two weeks of exposure. The sensitivity and specificity of existing testing algorithm is so high that non reactive tests on fourth generation protocols, when done after two or three weeks of exposure, would remain negative even after 6 months in the absence of additional exposure unless the patient was on PEP or other immune suppression medications

Know your status. This is the best HIV prevention tool ever. If you are positive medications would practically ensure you live your life fully and normally and also prevent you from infecting others even if you try to

If everyone does their test and takes medication for those applicable, HIV would be a thing of the past

Akem12:
E pass u get belle ni??

Exactly...what else

How APC can even campaign with their failures baffles me. In a sane country the Sowere Case is enough to make APC not get a single vote...How can a government be so tyrannical and expect votes at the ballot beats me

We really deserve our leaders. It's like being in love with your tormentors

If you two are legally married and she somehow married the other man then you can piss on their parade

How do you do this? You can actually arrest her through a petition on d grounds of bigamy. She along her new man would be arrested and charged to court. Trust me they would be taken to the same prison you just left and if they are lucky could perfect their bail in like two weeks. Small consolation but something to cheer about plus give them a taste of the prison they Gloated against you

In addition they may be eventually convicted and spend more time in jail

If they didn't marry, then move on. Trust me her stars would eventually wane sooner than later and yours would be on the up especially if you become comfortable later. You can cherry pick your choice of women and jealousy would kill her in due course

There is no guarantee her new marriage would be rosy and in those bad patches regret would consume her

Good luck

This is not a way to run a country. The judiciary is so easily manipulated. Sad

Sorry for the various issues you face. I do not know how many miscarriages you have faced. I can only assume they are more than once

For those calling you barren I assume it is a comprehensive issue. She is NOT barren

Your issues may be a Rhesus factor issue. Simple yet deadly. This can potentially lead to a life time littered with miscarriages and sorrow

If your blood group is negative in whatever form, it means you have a form of protein in your red blood cell. As long as you are negative, you would likely be incompatible with your husband. If he is positive which most peoples are by the way, then you are what we call Rhesus incompatible. That's only half of the story in your case anyway

Imagine a situation where you had an earlier abortion while in school and you have this Rhesus factor negative due to your blood type. The likelihood that the person that got you pregnant then is Rhesus positive is high as majority of people are positive. And then you had your abortion. Ostensibly you should have had an RH immune Globin injection to prevent acquiring dangerous antibodies from the RH positive child you aborted. Without this injection you may go on to acquire this dangerous antibodies which would attack any future pregnancy you have, leading to its miscarriage..when you hear of a woman having consistent miscarriages RH factor is usually the culprit

What to do

If indeed you are blood type negative, and you had a pregnancy in the past without taking this injection after termination, you need to schedule an appointment with your doctor immediately

If this isnt the case, then you would be a mum soon. With or without your abusive husband

Don't be foolish young man. At 40 you should know better

This lady isn't your wife. No one should also barger you into marriage. The warning signs are all over the place

Just back off and say you no do again. My guess is she would act nice and all that and wanna come back like she used in getting you. But the mask has slipped already and you have seen the monster you planned to marry or already married. Back off and dont do any further damage. See what next they do. I am betting she would vex and do a late term termination. So be it

Dont talk her out of it.

All the best man

For those of you saying they are even, sorry to disappoint you, they arent! The OP is perfectly in order to feel aggrieved

And yes they both cheated. In our immoral society most men cheat. The society is just that badly skewed. Most women even before getting married knows their man has chains of females. Most even bulldozed their way to end up his wife and suddenly expects him to be any different in marriage?

The major issue here is this. A man can sleep with a woman today and not even remember her name tomorrow. In my practice, I have treated several men who can't even remember the woman that well just days after the act. They are out of town, go on a fun roll and get laid...end of....Its like a beer hang out, well sort of...Just for fun

For women it's entirely different and more so in marriage. There is a saying that you have to win a woman's heart to win her body...No saying is truer especially for a married woman...Think about it...For a married woman to do this, it's not just for fun...Something deeper is involved

In my practice, the most common reason women do this tend to be money. Aside this , they do so cos they fell for the man and would gladly do it over and over again as long as the man is interested. This is one big reason African culture frowns at a woman cheating, and infact why it is seen as a taboo whereas a man's is tolerated.

I am willing to bet most of the women on this forum screeching that they are even, would be the first to push out their sister in law who cheats on their brother, even when they are the one arranging their friends for the said married brother

Now for the OP. This is my advise especially having had numerous experience treating STI for married women who must confess to me and who are desperate for their husband not to know about such infections

(1) Insist she tells you about all her deeds. Insist you just discovered it wasnt once like she said and you "Miraculously" or "spiritually" whetever found out she lied about her singular affair...You might just be surprised how clean she comes. Act mad and really mad and talk like how can she withhold such critical and vital info. If you must, act weird and demand full disclosure with a threat of walk out

(2) Be sure to know who the person(s) are and go through their conversations via her phone. Check her honesty that the relationship is over by using her phone to chat up the man/men. See his/their response...This is vital as an adulterous woman, if she must be forgiven, must come clean fully and you must have all the information. There is strong trust issues that must first be resolved.

(3) If this stray was just once as she claims, and no evidence of further likely acts, move on from it

From my experience, women that stay apart from their husband , eg living in separate cities, tend to do this more

Magu has done well. However they forces against him since 2015 still remains, i.e Daura. No one knows if he would put spanners in his tenure extension again. We keep blaming the 8th senate for Magu's non confirmation whereas it was the DSS that wrote a damaging report with which the senate had no option but to decline his confirmation. Daura seems very much around today

For Fowler with the confluence of allegations against him and the fact he is a cash cow to the Bourdillion 2023 war chest, I doubt if the cabal would allow this one

we shall see

This is very provocative. I keep saying it that the decision NOT to have sex is a moral one and not a medical one

Since she doesn't intend to have sex with you until your wedding night, this is also a moral decision and NOT to claim you two are NOT married. We have three types of marriages in Nigeria..Court, Church/religiois and Traditional. Either is valid. I keep asking why we expend time and money combining them

Having said that, a good woman would expend more time making her husband happy than trying to prove morality on her matrimonial bed. What does she have to prove to a man that has already paid her dowry? What shall it profit her to bring disunity to her marriage on the alter of insanely proving virginity on a religious night

This is foolishness and shows how poor her IQ is and how religiously brainwashed she is. If she is smart she would balance her need for religion vs her need to build a stable and happy home with her husband

I am sure she would cry blue murder if this leads to resentment from her husband. He may well do the wedding and start misbehaving in return to her behaviour now. Who would lose more?

He may also turn several of her request down in future as against his principles too. Is she can do same to him, two can play that game

He may have promised to go through with this but he is human and a man afterall. He has done well to have gone through marrying her already and made a wife of her. If she doesn't take care of her home, she is inviting unnecessary issues into her marriage so early

Successlane:


more

*Buhari send Magu's name to senate for confirmation as EFCC chairman, Saraki ,Dino and their cohorts rejected and were even threatening fire and brimstone, Buhari no even look their way

*Buhari suspended Onoghen, wailers erupted in wild protest, with allegations of ethnic, political, religious, etc meanings, Buhari no send

The list goes on and on ………….

Your examples show how Hitler started. He was performing all sorts of atrocities against the law and was applauded. I am sure you would scream fire fire if you are the direct beneficiary of such lawlessness

To the topic, ASU has a point while the FG has a point too. ASU is saying that the law setting up the uni allots powers over their finances to their governing council and not a government fiat as is being done under the FMF IPPIS. That is the law

The FG knows this. What they should do is not shoving this illegally down the throat of the uni but getting the national assembly to pass the appropriate laws to ensure they can do this legally. IPPIS is good and has harmonised the payment structures within the federal staff system

I am sure this is the future and has come to stay. However simply cos it's good doesn't make it ok to illegally implement

Duggedised12:
The question here is have you really wrecked her chance to get a job because its her ex offering to help? you claim she is not your responsibility and you are only obligated to help her when its convenient for you , you claim she still collects money from her ex and you are angry about it? If you are not obligated to inconvenience yourself to help her but someone else feels obligated ,then why are you angry? I am sure if you were in the position of her ex you will never help,even now that you are even dating her you dont feel obligated to help her,maybe that is where the problem is, you cant wrap your head around why her ex will be helping her cos you cant do such.

Her ex is about to help her with a job and your busybody carried you to interfere. The one opportunity she has to be independent you have interrupted, let me even ask you how many many times have you directed her to a job opening or vacancy?,so now judge yourself .

Anyway ,i am also of the opinion you end the relationship,all this back and forth is exhausting.

Funny comment

It's a No No for a responsible woman to seek financial or otherwise assistance from a former lover. It isnt right, doesn't sound right and doesn't appear right

Or is it cos they arent married? If they are, pray, how would it look on the husband that cos he doesn't have his wife would run to a former lover to get help??

The ex doesn't even have to sleep with her to make this all wrong. The very appearance of it makes it bad

It's not material if he isnt helping. A responsible woman should know the map to follow when seeking help. You do not go inside a lion's cage to seek for bones

I would advise the OP to support his woman as much as possible. It's always important to build your relationship and make the need for your woman to seek outside assistance as non existence as possible.

A woman that is making two men compete for her affection is truly not worth to be called one. Her affection is for a price and isnt even worth my mention. I am sure she has other sources of seeking employment help.

Finally OP, her level of disobedience is extra. I simply cannot imagine telling my woman that I feel passionate against an act and she goes right ahead to do it again. I dont know how it works with others but I dont involve myself with such characters with abundant negative energy

Sorry for your ailment. In the midst of so many unprofessional comments here have been very quality advise. Your symptoms does show you have some form of immunosuppressive ailment. It's a good thing you have done the basic serology screening and ruled out HIV and hepatitis surface antigens. Those produce most of the symptoms you mentioned

However the tests you have conducted are definitely conclusive of the absence of HIV. Advancement in HIV algorithm means seroconversion should have been picked up with the plethora of tests you have done. Infact as early as a 21days exposures are confirmed by the new 4th generation HIV combo tests used in most labs these days. I am confident you do not have HIV nor Hepatitis

It would have been nice to have a look at your FBC result since you have done those. It would also be nice to run a VDRL test to rule out secondary stage syphilis which also shows up with the symptoms you stated. Lupus has been mentioned and I strongly suggest you rule this out as it comes with different symptoms for different individuals and is quite prevalent amongst young African females

A TSH test would also be recommended by me. It would he important to ensure you do not have hyperthyroidism. Also throw in EUCR and LFT. This basically means you should do a comprehensive test but make sure your labs include all these I stated. Comprehensive doesn't include tests for lupus and TSH so be sure to get your lab to include these

Finally this is not psychological as some people mentioned. The symptoms are physical and points to an issue with your immune system. If you are losing weight while not trying, it would he important to know.

All the best and do not be afraid to tell your doctor every slight details. They do help

The question that need to be asked are:

(1) Why was BRT lanes done by the government but operated by a private company owned by the Tinubu? Is this NOT corruption

(2) How come Ambode donated 5 buses to a privately owned company free of charge?

(3) Despite claiming he met an empty Treasury, Governor Sanwo Olu recently bought 800 boses at a cost of over N500b and donated it to a private company owned by his benefactor Tinubu. Note that he bought this with public funds and Lagos state has it's own buses but the governor choose to donate what was bought with public funds to a private company whereas the state has it's own buses

(4) How come the government buses can't use the BRT lanes constructed with public funds but these lanes are rather used by Tinubu's owned private company buses??

From time Imo and Abia seem to have cursed leaders. Enugu, Ebonyi and Anambra with less FAC allocation have world class roads

These two, cursed with terrible leaders upon leaders have terrible infrastructures. Imo as a whole has failed and should summarily be annexed to Anambra state while Abia should be annexed to Enugu

Problem solved

OP let me burst your bubble. A girl would usually give our the number and then study your manners, how you speak, level of intelligence in a conversation, your pollishnness and general suitability for a possible relationship

If she becomes hard to get then you failed in the above and she wouldnt just be bothered

Sorry

Having just passed your second MB I congratulate you young man. Your are on a solid path to greatness already

However avoid the online buzz and focus. A lot more is coming. The real med training starts now and please focus and read beyond the teaching.

An attack on free press and speech is an attack on our fundamental values. Decree 101 is well and truly resurrected. They know by doing this the broadcasting outfits would toe their lines and cow to their whims

Well government is transient and they won't be there forever. After using baboon and co comments to gain power, they suddenly realise what they invented and perfected is painful.

History would judge these bunch unkindky

You allowed a teenager that is yet to graduate to marry someone old enough to be your father

If she had come to you that she wants to marry a nobody at 18, won't you have flogged her and taken her for deliverance

Money talks, BS works

Very true

Tea contains the chemical polyphenols which is very good in helping with LDL control, prevent fat cells from damage by free radicals and help with blood pressure. The benefits are legions

However avoid the sweetened teas like Bournvita and Milo. Go for tea bags and stick especially to the green tea over the black tea as they contain lesser caffeine for those suffering from insomnia

If you desire a daily higher doses of tea, remember that adding milk regularly may increase serum creatinine levels and as such not as good for your kidney.