₦airaland Forum

Write two letters yourself, one to the local government as an institution and one to the outgoing chairman. In this age, you can't depend on someone who is not interested in your welfare for a thing as common as a letter. Do it yourself.
Or, you can tell me what the content of the letter would be and I will write it for you, for free.

aidameoryou:
Your suggestions are genuinely needed 🙏

Hi my people good day, I have been having a thorough thought all in my mind and have been boiling inside of me on what next step to take.

Over the years, I have seen my mum really been hostile to my dad and it's getting out of hand for me to bear.
I am the first son of some siblings and in my mid 20s.
I live apart from my parents in another state and one of my junior sibling who went home for a little break from school was complaining bitterly about how my mum attitude towards my dad is getting out of hand.

My father has to be the most responsible, respectable, reasonable man I ever know, he doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't womanizer. He has been the sole breadwinner in the family from when we were small up till this time.
His work isn't moving very well as it used to back then and as such he cannot cater very well like he's used to and even though at that, he's been trying his best....
My mum just doesn't appreciate him enough and I've seen this a million times.

[color=#000000]My next line of action is to call my mum and give her a serious scolding because she hasn't been warned sternly about this by any of my siblings before.
This is getting out of hand and I cannot bear it anymore, please what do you all suggest I could do in this situation[/color]

Just enroll your dad at a karate teaching school, and see your mum learn to mind her business. Simple solution.

The unsavory debate of thieving politicians.

The hoopla is because Pete is Igbo, while Otodola is Yourba.

Who is the wife and who is the husband? Today, in the western world, these roles are becoming extinct.

Even if you marry another woman, na the same to happen. It's in your mind.

It's very wrong to classify female staff as drones who do no work. If you know the kind of work they do and the amount of stability it brings to the male ogas, then you will appreciate their contribution. I think your problem here is the definition of work.

1Sharon:
I know but girls that don't perform that well are more vulnerable

Being an academic buffoon is not a reason to harass someone sexually. We condone a lot of nonesense in this part of the world.

He had to register the carry over courses first before adding other courses depending on the maximum credit load of that semester/session. For someone to have five carry overs shows he is either not serious with studies or he has Psychological issues that are hampering his performance.

Thank you for letting us know about this development in your family.

It's their business. There is no right or wrong approach to this practice. It's what brings stability to their union.

Yes, moderate flogging is very necessary.

They give so many people visa ban, why is this crying so loudly?

Some people dey blow or get blown by gambling. Maybe him go be among the first.

And poor Seun Kuti does not know about these institutional and historical grudge. Pity!

Don't you know hypocrisy is a Nigerian?

It's a very difficult situation for you because you are lost all respect and dignity as a man. Also, your wife has no iota of respect for you or the marriage. It's clear she has moved on; look for a way to improve your finances, but don't go to Lagos begging your in-laws to accommodate you. If you take a principled stand, your "wife" might have a rethink and start looking for you.

If you want to marry her, just close your eyes and get on with it. Maybe she posseses some qualities you desire in a woman. However, forget that story of one guy, one kiss, and one sex, it's stale now.

It depends on her personality. But as a general rule, it's better you keep it away from her. It's not the reason she is dating you.

That's one of the ways we show love in Nigeria. Oga landlord believes that if you are able to buy a new car, surely, you are also capable of paying the new rent.

There is no new about this act. It's what most Nigerian women do when their husbands bring them abroad.

It doesn't matter. It's what you call your son that matter. You are making a mountain of out of a molehill.

Xerona:
Hello Nairalanders, there is an issue at hand.
I have two kids and recently gave birth to the third few months ago. It's been really difficult for me since I practically do most of the house chores... my husband is hardly around because of work.

I came down with this strange disturbing headache that doesnt go away. So I went to see a doctor and she said the headache was as a result of postpartum stress and lack of sleep.

The truth is I'm awake most of the time because of the baby or when I'm attending to other household matter. I haven't had a good sleep in a long while. So when the doctor suggested I get a house help so I can find time and sleep when shes holding the baby. I knew she she was on point. But the problem is my husband, he wouldn't hear of it, he doesn't want us to get any househelp...

I even pleaded with him and made him see reasons why I needed help, but he refused... I'm beginning to think I ended up with the wrong person because I dont understand why anyone would deliberately want to subject their wife to this kind of torture.

My kids are age 5, 2 and 3 months... I go to the market, cook, clean, i even do school run too...He's a contractor and will be travelling back to work next week.. yet he doesn't want me to get help...

A house help that you would soon turn to punching bag.

No, it's your life that's after betting.

floret23:
What will you do if you are in my position and feeling deeply hurt.

Some men have bitter experiences both in relationship and some in marriages.

Even though I know this story is fabricated, it's the sort of things an average Nigerian woman do. An average Nigerian woman believes she has an unqualified right to use her money as she sees fit, and has tremendous control on how her husband spends his money.

She can't just ignore you like that in a great moment of need. Her action shows there is no love lost in your union.

Nawa o! Which kind family be this? Did you kill or impregnate any member of their family? Why would a family be so mean and cold to you?

The way I see it, there is a sort of intimate relationship between you and your boss. If not, what would make an employee to develop an entitlement complex such as yours towards her boss? Most Nigerian ladies feel they own a man when he has had access to the cookies.

Not bad, just that you, too, will undergo the same test to give a sense of fairness and equity.

twang414:
been with my wife for 11 years, and throughout this period we have always had trust issues. The trust issues emanate mostly from her. Issues like not being accountable, not being transparent and disloyalty at its core. Eg, claiming shes at location B, whereas shes at location A, like calling her and not picking, but will pick other number calls and much more. We have communicated in ways to make things better, she would promise to make things better but will at the end of the day backslide. further issues deepened, I got tired and couldn't tolerate more of it, so I repeatedly asked for a separation, but yet she disagrees. One of the major that happened now is here in UK, as we relocated last year Sep. She had met a new lady friend at a party, apparently they got to know more of each other after the lady forgot her kids bag at the location so my wife was asked to take it that she will come over to ours to pick it up since we live close to each other.
To cut long story short, the woman is into beauty products marketing, she involved my madam in the hustle and they seem to pair along well, invites her to events held in hotels and all that. The one they went for 3 days ago, after the event, she called me that she was done, didnt want to take uber prolly cos it was expensive, so she said the lady claimed she will drop her off. An hour later she called she was on her way that the ladies husband have come to pick them up, 40mins later she said there was traffic at woolich that it might take time b4 she gets back. Because of the trust issues we always have and haven't been sorted, I checked her lcoation via her findmyiphone and lo and behold they were at the womans house. I waited at least 15mins to see if maybe it was the traffic, but it wasnt, because her movement was at a complete halt. So I called her, she didnt pick, gave her another 3 missed calls she didnt pick, so i called my daughters phone that was with her, she then picked saying that she was on a zoom meeting with some clients thats why she couldnt pick, but that shes in the car still heading home,though i could hear TV sound, so i was like babe, it dont sound like ur in the car, she was like the ladys husbands car is a Porsche car, you can hear any sound, so i said i was going to call her on video call, I called she didnt pick, she then called me back on video while showing she was in the car and it was at that time her movement on the map started showing she was moving, this might be too much to be doing, but it just seem glaringly obvious that there is something she is hiding, but the most painful part was that she now handed the phone to her friend to defend her that she was truly in the car bla bla bla, i had to cut the call off. I felt so embarrassed and felt maybe I would not have told her that she wasnt in a car, or that she would have handled the situation better by not handing over the phone to her friend to talk to me. Do you guys really think trust issues that havent been resolved over the last 10 years can still be worked out/

You knew about the unresolved trust issues in Nigeria, yet you move with her to the UK. What were you thinking? That she would magically change on getting to the UK? The truth is that you have compounded your problem and your wife's trust issues would more complex and frustrating to you. You are in a clime that easily throws men under the bus and where women hardly do wrong.

Smokeybrain:
Happy workers day. Since am at home I decided to voice out what is bordering me. First let me give a preamble about myself. I'm an introvert, I don't take alcohol and I have never been to the club. I work with a commercial bank as an ABO and from Niger Delta. I leave in Lagos. I have two ladies in my life and I kind of confused.
The first lady is base in Abuja, 30 years old and an extrovert. She's unemployed and I have knw her for sometime now. This lady is the type that was perfection in everything. I have told her about my intention that I want committed relationship. She didn't say yes and she didn't say no. All what she did was ask me series of questions and I answered. She hardly calls and check on me. I do the most calls and initiate conversations. She can comfortably stay for days without hearing from me. I invited her to Lagos, she came spent few days and left. When she got home, she sent me a text that she didn't get the vibes she was expecting. I was confused. Vibes! What do u mean? She said connections and vibes was not there. Maybe she expects me to be gisting with her till midnight I don't really know. Sometimes I come back from work late, I will talk little, eat and sleep. I don't really know the vibes and I connections she's talking about. This is the lady I spent on, the her flight ticket I paid for it...am still confused.
The second lady, a Fulani Christian from the north, 24 years base in Lagos. A graduate and a fashion designer. She's just the opposite of the first lady. I don't give her much attention like the first lady but no day will pass without her checking on me. I spend little on her unlike the first lady and she doesn't complain. I will like to get married next year. I'm financially okay. Which of these two ladies should I go for am 31yrs.

Baba, nawa o! Na you dey ask this kind question? This is skin to clearly seeing the road but electing to follow through the bush. Unless you have problem with the background of the second lady, your post, to me, is grossly unnecessary.

Reminderz:
as long as I respect Islam when it comes to modesty, this is just an example of extremism in the religion... it was even commanded in the Qur'an and hadiths to do away with extremism.. wearing this is not compulsory or mandatory in the Deen.. and it's not meant to be forced either... it should be of the bride or woman's wish or will to do so herself... in fact, it's not necessary in Islam... just wear clothes that cover what God tells you to be covered and you're good to go. nevertheless, we now live in a world where people are being persecuted, oppressed and abused for being covered and people are being praised and seen as role models for being naked.

because of the strict laws and modesty in Islam, Islam has been able to preserve her culture and values compared to other religion... and it's also the fastest growing religion which will overtake Christianity.. before you argue blindly, a little research and checking of statistics will help you..

because of these facts, Islam countries are still one of the best in terms of culture and upholding moral values compared to other countries where moral decline, the fall of family and civilisation is being witnessed... Qatar not wanting to accept any LGBT bullshit is an example of why Islam is one of the strongest religion..

And yet, whenever there is war in Muslim countries, Muslims would prefer to go to the west and not Qatar, Saudi Arabia or Iran, where Islamic culture has engender strong moral principles.