Let her go. Never you compete with fellow men to win a woman's love. If you do, you will forever be in competition.

If you succeed in begging her to leave the other guys and marry you, you will forever beg her to stay married to her.

She was never meant for you...

Why did you bring this matter to Nairaland?
I doubt that you have gotten over this lady's rejection of you.

The hotel to hospital switch gave it out as fiction.
Initially, I thought it was a real life story. Try and make that switch better.

Accident victims are taken to ER not private room.
Picture a scenario where you arrive at a fairly big hospital in Nigeria. How would you get to a certain patient as a new visitor in such hospital?

You get the point now?

Earlier said than later. No need to lead her on and dump her later.
She is equally very clear of what she needs - husband.

I am actually amazed at how these two people were able to stay married for this long. I really commend them.
You made mention of the fact that if their case was to be in an African setting, the man will bever have accepted it.
Well, it takes a very humble and rare African woman to be loyal, respectful and submissive to a husband that she is better placed than in all fronts. I have not seen an African woman who will do it.

The native candidates we know are Yamarayi and Yamawo.

Bello Shagari we do not know...

obembet:


You are very intelligent. I hope u have nt marry

Thanks for your compliment.
Yes, I am not yet married.

xavuv:
God bless you son

Amen! May He bless you more...

Osombo:

U tried in ur analysis, I guess from experience. The movie Acrimony comes to mind, remember what Cookie i mean Penda Henson did to Robert....

Yes, actually from experience.
Taraji P. Henson you mean? The movie Acrimony thought people invaluable lessons of life.

Hamiltonii:


My dear, no girl stands by you. They have other secret affairs not known to you.

You might be right though.
But I can vouch for my Babe. What I owe her is trust. If she betrays it, it's her headache not mine.

I think that you are your own problem. If you have a job that keeps you away from home till late in the evening, your neighbour's wife will not be disturbing you always to come and see her at home. Why would you stay at home when every other person is leaving for work?

To avoid her, always stay away from home until when you are sure that her husband is around. If you must stay at home, you can ignore her if she comes knocking on your door. It's your apartment and you are in charge.

People will warm up to you if you allow them by giving them the impression that you are available to mingle.
You can end this drama if you actually want to.

For all intent and purpose, we can assume that she has good intentions for you.

You don't need to over think this matter.
Whenever she comes home, sit her down, warn her sternly to be careful the way she disobeys your instructions.

A healthy relationship must be built on mutual respect and understanding. You are not comfortable with the prayer pattern, she has to respect your position and abide by it.

Meanwhile, prayer is efficacious whether you have pictures/certain items of the person or not. Some persons are practising magic lately in the name of Christianity. This practice is very very unchristian.

Signs of depression. You are gradually slipping into depression without knowing it.

Get help now that you have spoken out before it is full blown.
See a psychologist for guidance and counselling.

You are just the side boyfriend and not even a serious option.
Take a walk and never look back.

That your church does not represent Christ as much as I know. From which book of the Bible did they come up with such ridiculous law that the sin of premarital sex is unforgivable by God?

Someone above already quoted the book of Exodus to clear you up. If they tell you to go to a true Christian church, you say know. Now, your church is trying to mess with your choice of partner.

There is no Bible verse that stipulates how a Christian brother should choose his wife. Whatever you have done with your girlfriend is between you, your girlfriend and God. Repent from your sin and flee fornication.

Our God is not a Pharisaic God. He is so loving and merciful. Ask Him for forgiveness sincerely and marry your wife in another good church.

From your story, your are now your own problem, not the people around you, because you have accepted defeat. This is the worst thing that can happen to a man.

You are an A-list graduate, your results alone could have fetched you jobs. Go on LinkedIn, set up your profile and apply for jobs like a hungry lion. Get a job, start working and rearrange your life.

Send me an email or drop your WhatsApp contact for me. All you need is encouragement. The people around have not helped your matter. And you have allowed their opinion shape your thoughts about your life.

Let's talk...

Did you just walk away after you saw the condition of the bathroom?

At least, you for tell her mek she do proper cleanups and maintenance in the bathroom. For her health sake.

"My friend, I should have told you... is not a good friend". - an adage.

You didn't point out what you saw to your friend, but you have come to share it with Nairaland family. Is this the right thing to do?

Watch out for your friends and help them to be better versions of themselves.

One man's meat is another man's poison, so said a sage.

I don't see why there should be any quarrel about this matter at all.
The guy in the eye of the storm was not the first lady's spec. Her friend duly got her permission to take over and moulded the guy into a better version of himself. More like her spec.

If anybody is being dramatic about this matter, it's just so unreasonable.

thebosstrevor1:


It seems you didnt even progress

How can you be stuck in the same thing, 2 girls came and saw the same situation. You dey try ooh

I am not sure what you consider as 'making progress'.
I was barely surviving then though, I still made progress in different dimensions.
Today, the story is completely different.

ArcSEMPECJ:




Hmmmm
"food for thought "

Girls that bear Onyinyechi not Onyinye oo are wonderful.....
Operation search for Onyinyechi will begin soon

We need to conduct a social experiment to validate this hypothesis.
More guys have come forward to state their positive and favourable experience with girls who answer Onyinyechi.

Akinlady:
Oga please MOVE from that house IMMEDIATELY. Enough said.

Thank you very much for your concern.
I already moved and I am better off much more than I used to be.

abimic:

I feel it is the truth, onyinyes are always loyal, and they love to a fault. I had a similar experience too.

Kindly share with us if you don't mind.

Munzy14:

Nice one.....who will stay, will stay...no matter what.

Absolutely!

TRUTHaDDICTED:
Guess what..... The girl I also plan to settle down with is even more loyal and faithful than yours and you know what...... Her name is also Onyinyechi and she sells phone assessories just like the OP, but I won't tell you where before Nairalandgrabbers will rush her what a coincidence

You can share your story with Nairaland family. Perhaps, it may inspire some persons.

iamdapsyj:


The truth is everybody is not the same. We all have varying personality. That she left doesn't make her a bad person. It's just her own preference which we all have. Some men too can't marry a broke lady you know. I am not holding brief for your ex though.

I did not condemn her nor say she is a bad person. Nothing like that, and I hold no ill feelings against her.
She made her choice based on her preference and left for someone better for her.
You are very much on point.

UwaMmebii:


Fact, those girls answering such name have heart of Gold. I know some of them, there is one from Nsukka Enugu state that used to treat me like a king when I was in unn and I was broke AF that time, now money don dey enter my hand I'm reciprocating all her kindness back. I bought her Samsung phone of 185k last year but I never regretted my action God bless you Onyi. I swear there are still good girls in this earth. I trusted this girl so much to the extent that I will use her account details for my online business deal and sometimes she will receive 10m in her account and she won't touch even one naira from it. Very beautiful girl with good character. I can never forget you Onyi if you are reading this is me Emmytex

What's holding you back from marrying her?

LOYALTY
Loyalty is everything. If you have a woman that is loyal to you, hold her tight.

I have one now and incidentally her name too is Onyinyechi. Seems like girls who answer Onyinyechi are just excessively loyal.

The girl I wanted to marry (Favour) came to my house once, saw only bed, reading table and chair. My DVD player was placed on its carton and my TV hung on the wall. Favour vowed never to come to my house again. That was how she left me for a wealthy man.

Onyinyechi came, met the same setting but she stuck to me ever since. If not for anything, I respect her for her loyalty and humility.

The shit you are passing through now is the cost of living a life full of lies. Nip it in the bud now and stop causing yourself heartache.

Come clean and free yourself by telling the truth. Certainly, you will lose both your face and the lady.

You can't continue to invent lies daily just to save face. You are just shifting your doomsday which will surely come sooner than later.

Then, learn to live a truthful life. It costs much less than lies. Telling lies will get you temporary relief on the interim, but it will cost you almost your life on the long run.

Secrets shared can easily get out to a third party. I have witnessed it firsthand.

I will rather make her believe she knows everything about me. But then, I keep certain things away from her.

Your brother in-law is only being human. The trust he has for his wife has been badly damaged.
Your sister and mother ought to have carried him along in all their plans because the prevailing problem is their problem and not your family's problem.

Your sister is yet to give him a child and now, her faithfulness, respect and loyalty have been called to question.
It will only take divine intervention for the man's attitude to change favourably towards his wife.

Let your sister get her parents in-law involved and ask them to plead on her behalf. If there are church elders, get them involved too so that they can plead with the man.

Your sister as a matter of necessity must henceforth, show signs of remorse and remain very open and transparent to him.

Trust once shattered, takes so much time to rebuild. The recovery time is usually very long. It can last for years.

I will approach this issue from the angle of loyalty and commitment.

A girl who stood by you when you had nothing will most likely stick to you even when you make it. For such ladies, you can be sure that their loyalty will remain unflinching through thick and thin whether there is wealth or not.

A girl who makes you and sets you up will most likely demand that you worship her. You may not have the freedom to do things as you like because the lady built you and you are supposed to remain loyal to her.

It's not an easy decision to make but most honourable men will stick with the lady who stood by them when they had nothing.

They are minding their business. You too should mind your business.

Go and buy ear plugs and stop stressing your nerves.

Those your neighbours don't owe you anything ooo!
If you are friendly with them, you can jokingly greet him or the woman about their activity whenever the situation is convenient for you.