₦airaland Forum

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You know how to cook stew but not soup..as if soup is not even easier to cook. You just wanted to have that woman around don’t lie.

Anywhere from the 16th to the 21st July she will be ovulating. Depending on how long she has her period for.

I think it’s because most curvy/large women don’t age well after children, sorry but it’s the truth. Slim women tend to look better after giving birth to 2+ kids. If you can be disciplined when it comes to food, it’s a very good thing.

See what somebody is complaining about nonsense.

angelfallz:
There are things you can no longer do when you're married.
You can't be married and at the same time living like you're single.

Married life and single life are not the same thing.

Marriage is not a cage, true. But in marriage you're accountable to your spouse and therefore you MUST consider them, it's not the same when you're single.

It is this mentality of marriage is not a cage that we have the Ataga and Chidinma case.
A married man trying to live like a single man. The man's wife is even based in Abuja while he is based in Lagos. What kind of marriage is that?

If people are not ready for marriage they should stay single.

mr man going out once or twice a month is not living like a single man it is functioning like a normal human being and taking a break. If your wife wants to suffocate you with rules and regulations then live your life, I don’t run my home like that. My husband allows me to have my nights out with my girls and I do the same for him and it’s okay.

AngelicDamsel:
Will you be happy if your wife hangs out with her friends till 11pm, all in the name of hangouts. Op, let's face the fact, most women would react the same way your wife did.

What were you expecting? just come home that late and she should pat your back for a job well done.

Hangout, hangout.....Naso e dey start!

Apologize to your wife for such an irresponsible act. You owe her an apology, seriously!

I know many men who respect their wives and would not stay up late for whatever reason. You see them rushing home to honour their matrimonial obligation.

11pm.......... is irresponsible.




That's why small girls slaughter them like chicken.

its not like the man comes back home every night at 11pm for goodness sake it’s a one off thing occasionally. Let that man have his life, my husband comes back at 3am sef sometimes, I don’t give a damn I want the man to live his life and I live mine. I don’t want to feel like I’m in a cage all because of one marriage, what is it sef? Are married couples supposed to be tied with rope to always be together? Na wa oh.

What kind of woman is this nitori Olorun..

DriveByKiller:
the thing touch toy reach bone sha.

Now how's than man supposed to be preparing for grave? What's the age difference between both of you?

when I say preparing for grave, I don’t mean it in the literal sense. A man with grey hair/ a mature face represents old age. Someone of his age should not be talking about side chicks, that’s more of a discussion between teenagers. You have to respect your age, I’m so sorry.

She’s a well known person my ass, is she the first to get pregnant outside of wedlock? Nonsense, as if the people that will talk are not doing their own behind closed doors. Even pastors wife bend over and collect prick please let her hold her head up high and carry that child. Rubbish.

See this agbaya supposed to be preparing for grave he is talking about side chick this and that. Na wa

Bhus21:
People don't realize the upheaval that's currently happening in our societies and relationships. Many of us still have this archaic vision of what life and relationships should be. The reality is that it's 2021, we live a very modern life with technology everywhere. This means the old models of marriages and families in Africa don't really apply as they used to.

The idea for instance that men can cheat willy nilly while women can't is dead and gone. Women are now equal to men and can and should do as they please. You can't beat your wife, you can't be cruel or maltreat her just because she's a woman or because she wrongs you. No matter what she does, if she doesn't break the law, she has every right to do it just as every man also has the right to do as he pleases.

Fundamentally, I believe in this equality so i know that my partner has the right to do as she pleases. Women on the other hand I think are stepping into a new world of rights but don't fully understand the responsibilities that go with these rights. The way however to sensitize women to their newfound responsibilities is not via violence but rather persuasion. The challenge however is that women are more emotional and so the form of persuasion they need is an emotional variant. Being the betrayed partner it's difficult to offer this soft emotional persuasion but it's really the only way to go. Mixing it with some tough love also sha when boundaries are overstepped is also important. Tough love being firm with consequences when there's error and not violence or abuse.

The option of being wicked, controlling and authoritarian is not really compatible with modern relationships. Insisting on being this way will mean you as a man leave a trail of broken and unhappy people. This is my world view and while some people think it weak, if you consider it deeply you will understand the validity in it in today's world.

Anyway sha this is me just thinking aloud. I hope it makes some sense. I'm still in a holding pattern with occasional emotional outbursts. These will cool with time and I'll be able to make rational decisions. Till then, my default position is hoping we can recreate a new stable relationship.

going through your posts again and your previous thread, I think you’re losing your sanity. You are going crazy and you don’t even realise it. I’m praying for you.

eduj:
if a lady I have a relationship with cheats me out of "boredom", I will end the relationship out of "excitement".
Men who forgive a cheating woman are mostly those who cheat or are financially dependent. A well to do man who doesn't cheat will find it very difficult to take back a cheating partner

of course because you’re not married and have never been tied to woman for 10years plus with children and many investments. You have never been in that situation so you don’t understand. But a man who has invested his youth, time, effort, money, hard work into a marriage with children involved will be more reluctant to let that go even with infidelity.

Bhus21:
I have an issue with the idea that women rarely cheat for no reason. Of course, every marriage has its ups and downs, does that justify cheating? What's the point of a vow and commitment then?

If you want to end a marriage, cheating is not the way to do it. End it the right way then go off with whoever you want to go off with. If you feel neglected or offended. Seek help with communicating well and if it doesn't work, leave. Cheating unapologetically makes the situation 10 times worse not better.

if everybody did things the right or the way we envision, we would never have problems in life. Unfortunately in life you have to accept that people will not always handle situations the right or the way you would like. You can gain control of these situations by using wisdom, involving third parties, getting to the root of the problem and flipping It to your advantage. Mr man you have to sit down and ask yourself if you really want this marriage and If you think your wife will Co operate. This is not going to happen over night, it will take months of trial and error. Time will heal you and unveil the destiny of your situation.

Bhus21:
2 days after I found out and going through emotional turmoil. I resolved to do the Christ-like thing and give the marriage a chance. I spoke to her at length and tried to convince her of her folly. I then made a candle-lit dinner at night and bought some flowers. I then extracted a commitment to work on the marriage for 6 months.

So imagine my horror when 2 days later I find out she was still talking to her affair partner for hours. Omo this wahala is even deeper than I thought.

this is deeper than a candle light dinner, you need to involve a third party possibly or really go for some counselling, because there’s a serious problem lingering somewhere. Some times couples need to separate (not divorce)...live in two different houses to give each other that break and reflect on certain issues. This is not going to be an overnight thing, you need patience and wisdom to over come this hurdle.

Have you ever cheated on her?
What is your communication level like ?
Does she seem to be going through a phase of boredom?
Your marriage can still be revived, but it needs the effort of both parties. A lot of men have experienced infidelity on the women’s part and have quietly resolved issues and moved on with their family in tact. Women rarely cheat for no reason, you really need to dig deep and find out what the issue is before taking any further action.

Let me tell you the truth most women Have things going on behind closed doors, forget packaging and pretence in public. Behind closed doors you will see all kinds of abormalities in peoples personalities, it’s not only women, men included. You will see some people have extreme paranoia, some people when they are angry they become very destructive, some people will sit down and be talking to themselves, some people will be hallucinating or having extreme delusions in their mind. Some people will just carry wild thoughts in their head. Some people are just always negative and depressed no matter their circumstances. Some people are dealing with trauma that happened in their past life (ptsd) that still affects their day to day life. All of these are mental health illnesses in their own form. So what I would tell your friend is to look for ways to handle it, if she needs medication, she should get on it.

Communication, understanding and tolerance is needed. There’s nothing outside that he’s looking for forget packaging, the next woman he looks for will be talking in her sleep, everybody has funny behaviours if you look deep inside them. Goodluck

As for the night blindness that is very serious, and you guys need to speak to professionals about that that because once children are involved it could be very dangerous. She’s not the first to have this condition, so please don’t totally disregard her because of this.

eazzzy1:
How can child bearing be like dying and going to heaven but y have 4 children? You like dying and going to heaven? I think women exaggerate the pain to men just because they know we will never get to experience it.

If men could give birth, we will give birth and 12am and be in the club at 12:30am same day.

well for me if I had my way I would stick with the one I have because motherhood is just a never ending journey filled with so much sacrifice and pain, yes there’s joy to it but in my opinion it’s just A LOT!!! The reason why I would consider having more children is because my son would probably be happier with a sibling, the pressure from your husband and family members. Watching the children grow together is an unexplainable feeling of happiness. In life you just have to make sacrifices, everything cannot be your way or you will never progress. But trust me motherhood is not too lovely.

Ugly old men go after women who represent you not underage school minors. Fool

The agbaya thinks he’s in Nigeria. You talk to anyone under age in the UK, they catch you.. that is your life finished. Too many young adults walking around it’s a 15 year old school girl you want to chase. Why are these old ugly men like this? It’s only his family I feel sorry for.

Gamesmart:
I was just pointing out the contradiction in thinking.

Part of the things that proves my point that you are only responding out of emotional distress/worry, not facts and logical reasoning.

but you didn’t prove anything sir.

High blood pressure medication is not good for young women,your body becomes too reliant on it and it may become a permanent thing. If she start by doing the natural things like staying active, walking more and just avoid sitting in one place for too long.

Reduce the amount of salt in her food, be very vigilant about that.

Try to lose some weight. And also sleep at least 7-8 hours a days. I did all these when I gave birth when my blood pressure was so high and it worked.

If these can’t work then I will say go for the medication but it should be the last resort because she’s too young to be on it.

youngestuk:
It happened to my wife too.

She needs all the rest she can, try to tell your doctor so they would place her on medications.
She will be fine.

Gamesmart:
You don't need anyone telling you what to do.

One would have thought that was your point here:

hello, our conversation has ended. I don’t need mentions from you any longer.

The female sex organ was not made for orgasms....whaaatttt? Are you alright? Thank God it’s 2021 and to meet a man who will give you satisfaction can be done in the click of your fingers. You can take your opinion to 1932 where you will also meet your wife. Goodluck and goodbye.

emmyN:
Good question. The female sex organ was not created for sexual satisfaction. Orgasm for women is like an icing on a cake, regardless of which the cake is still there. Her main satisfaction is seeing that her man is satisfied and is able to empty his sac of glory into her honeypot of sweetness and pleasure. You gerrit?

I advise we all go the way of our fathers. They married our mothers as virgins, and in their cases, lack of performance in the other room is not so much as heard of outside. She should fast and pray, or better go to mama rukiyat to mix one powerful shot of agbo jedi jedi to give to her man so he can ride her all night like a horse.

I hope I answered your question?

Women get tired of their husbands prick, we have these kind of convos. Men become lazy in pre-intimacy, erectile dysfunction, premature ejactilation, bad hygiene, boring in general. Women these days hardly marry as virgins so they know what good prick tastes like, please what do we do when the husband is no longer satisfying?

emmyN:
Our fathers were not unwise when they practiced polygamy. That way if one woman is indisposed, the other can take up the task. Six months or even three months is unnecessarily too long for a man to carry his full balls about. Shit can explode and it won't be funny .

But these days any attempt to relieve ourselves is branded cheating by these woke feminism lot. Here you are accusing men of not wanting to touch their wives when the reverse is the case.

Gamesmart:
So when you know the kind of man you want and you see him but he does not want you because of one single factor, that is more intentional and reality?

As for the bolded, so your argument is women will compromise and manage at a older age based on their circumstances? They can no more dictate?

my point has been made and as long as it’s been understood no need to go back and forth. Thanks so much

This does not make sense

Having a higher pool of suitors does not equate to better results, it actually minimises it. You have more inadequate men to deal with. When you know what you want, know the kind of men that will want you, (which greatly reduces the amount of men in your dating pool), it makes dating more intentional and realistic. You don’t have to waste time going through the bad eggs.

So you men need to understand this. When a woman gets to a certain age with experience, it’s no longer about the amount of men, it’s about the quality and standard of men that will fit into the woman’s circumstances. Please understand this and have wisdom.

Gamesmart:
Okay, at least you have dropped your silly "approval" nonsense.

Now the next lesson is that "Yes, most men will not be interested" is significant.

Someone who has a higher pool of potential suitors is privileged to:

1) Find someone he or she is attracted to.

2) Be with someone more compatible.

3) Have higher confidence and self-esteem because rejection by a lot of men can be demoralising for most women's self-esteem.

So, never again say being in a position of improved choices is insignificant. This refusal to accept facts because of emotional rejection of it is the bane of most females.

Gamesmart:
Sorry, please explain how saying "most won't now want her for marriage" means "she needs the approval of most men or one man to move on"?

Do you know the meaning of "want"?

And do you know the meaning of "approval"?

you stating that most men will not be interested in her anymore is insignificant as she doesn’t need to be desired by most men to get what she wants (remarriage) if that’s the goal for her. She’s at a stage where she’s been there and done that, so the selection of men that she may even consider will be low, and very much in line with her circumstances.

Gamesmart:
Who said she did?

so why the reference of “most” men will not take her seriously when she only needs the approval of one man if she wants to re marry. The aim for women is never to get the approval from most men, as most men are not even worth chicken on bones. The aim is to get the approval of a man who is worthy.

But does she need the approval of most men or one man to move on? Please answer this question for me

Gamesmart:
Unfortunately for her, she appears to either be:

a) one of those delusional girls that think (or know) they are still fine and feels it will be easy to replace him because she was used to having a queue of men chasing her before. Im eye neva open say she don born two now and even if men what her, most won't now want her for marriage.

b) attempting to be smart by making him know there are consequences for him sleeping with other women, but she plans to go back to him asap.

If it is (a), I am sorry for her.

Donpenny:
can I dm? Let talk

yes

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