₦airaland Forum

Brightgem:
So when it's genetics or a health condition, the woman should do what? Excuse the philandering man or hold him to account on his vows, like are these vows people take now a joke to the world?

Are you married?

maybe I’m being unrealistic, but of course most women will add weight as they get older. It’s just something you can’t control. But what stops you from doing your hair, putting on makeup, dressing according to your size, using cosmetics that can brighten your skin to glow? What really stops you from taking out a few minutes of your day to take care of yourself. The reason why people are condemning the wife, it’s not necessarily her weight. But the way she carried herself, her dressing and her overalll effort to make herself look presentable. She’s probably the same size as mercy Johnson and omotola, but packaging makes the biggest difference. I’m just an advocate of beauty sha, I think it’s important for women to make an effort forever.

eni4real:
So, JayZ did not cheat on Beyonce??

jayz started cheating on Beyoncé right from the beginning of their relationship, his own cheating stems from his personal insecurities which is a completely different situation. He will never leave Beyoncé no matter what. This situation is quite different.

Please kids are not an excuse jare. My mother has two kids, even after that men were still chasing her up and dan up until her late 40s. What does it take to make your hair, put on some makeup, put on flattering clothing and maybe watch your weight just a little bit. Let me hear word please. Omotola that has many kids, she’s much bigger than how she was when she young, but she still looks very beautiful and presentable.

Sniper101:
Bros, u seem to be forgetting something o

"A young woman CANNOT stay beautiful forever".


If that man happen to just make the side chick his second wife, give her 5years and let her have two kids within those 5years
...then let's see if this 'beaitiful' side chick won't be looking as unpresentable as that woman who's attacking her

Fisher007:
Deep pure redpill truth.

Ladies prime is from age 18- 30yrs when beauty is still intact. They decide who and what they fvck. Females have most of the fun in life without hormonial inbalance, no sense, riding the cc.

Men's prime start from 35- 60yrs when they are financially stable. They can easily provide and are more experienced, so young ladies flock them like bees on honey.

This is why most men cheat after marriage. The amount of plausible deniability young ladies use to seduce them is just too much.

Madam deal with the truth or stay single. Simple.

the truth is that most men do not get to that financial stability where they can pick and choose even after 35 plus. Most of these married men chasing young single ladies are using their last savings, their wives money or money that is supposed to be used for their home on these girls. The side chicks will discard them after finishing all their money. A man can only be in his prime past 35 when he has a substantial amount of money, which most men never acquire. At 35 if you don’t have money as a man, just forget it, you can’t attract a young hot single lady. But you can still manage and get a hot girl when you are young yourself.

cr7lomo:
U women are evil I swear... Men are even the ones defending the wife ...but u women are supporting the side chic... Anybody wey no fear woman na ghost

because the truth is that we know most men are cheats, this is the advice I will give to my sister. Instead of giving yourself hypertension over your cheating husband, look good, focus on yourself and let Gods will be done. No amount of shouting and and craze will padlock a mans penis. A man will only change if he wants to. If the tin is affecting you so much, then leave the marriage. You will shout and shout at side chick and still go back to beg your husband, does that make sense to you? I will not die before my time .

Chidorx60:
maybe when u get married and your husband does somethingt like that or even worse maybe he does it with ur you get sister....who cares..men will be men...marriage is not a do or die...infact that kind of situation will not move your strong sense of emotional control.....sorry that I generalized a women with so much girl power like u can handle anything..uriahh

im already married thank you, and I don’t wish for anybody to be cheated on, ever. But how you handle situations really determine the results.

Chidorx60:
..mtcheww you mean in your previous hit and run relationships....who told u you even had a right to questions your partner when he decided to go after another girl....were u married..we are talking about the pains of a MARRIED WOMAN...and you are comparing it to yourself....pls go and buy sense

married or not, men will always be men. Is shouting at the side chick going to solve the problem? Will that make her feel better about herself? Will that improve her self esteem and confidence? Whether you have suffered with a man or not, the truth is nobody cares not even the so called husband. So why put everybody and everything before yourself? Why sacrifice your whole life and well being to please other people. People make marriage look like it’s a do or die, it might be challenging but you’re not to lose your sanity and peace for it.

Chidorx60:
If u you were the woman and you home is being torn apart by one harlot and you get to meet the girl...ruining you once blissful marriage face to face...you would react differently from that woman....sometimes think before you talk........

will I disgrace myself and start shouting in the middle of a shop? You must be crazy. I’ve been in a situation like this in my previous relationship, I handled it with wisdom, and the foolish man came crawling and begging on his knees. I can never in a million years act like this woman, she is not wise at all. Too emotional and too irrational.

Gnaeusmagnus:
The man too, for the sake of his children and his wife should keep it in his pants.

Love is more than just beauty.

love is more than beauty but it is part of it. Infact love is not even the main component of marriage. Okay take away the beauty, look at the way she’s shouting and embarrassing herself in public. This woman is stressed, worn out and fed up, I can only imagine how she is at home. If you like, blame the husband, but I always say women should learn how to be selfish. Learn how to put yourself first, for your mental stability and sanity. You want to kill your self in a marriage, if you die who will take care of your children? Will your husband not move on and marry someone else? There’s power in wisdom, women just allow emotions to cloud their reasonings.

nathaliya:
Lol, mystery solved. You have a point but not everybody can put themselves first. When I first had my twin boys, I went 2 full years without making my hair. Just relax, stretch, style, wig etc. Not just because of my kids, my company was also in a critical stage. I still feel there will come a time where you just put things pending to pull out of some tight corner . It can last for weeks, months or even years and I feel no woman should be judged or dumped for that

true. Life comes with it’s up and downs so yes it’s impossible to always 100 percent be on point. But if you make it a priority to take care of yourself first, you’ll find it easier to peddle through those obstacles. Sometimes challenges in life can be much harder to face simply because you’re not caring for your health/physical and mental well being.

darlenese:
vague

I’m not going to write a paragraph on it. It’s very simple. There’s a reason why sidechicks are taking over marriages theses days.

MhizJoyce:
What power do women have? Tell me

your power is in your femininity. Your looks and your attitude.

Listen I’m married and I know what I’m saying, if you sacrifice your whole life, you’re whole well being, your looks just to please everybody else, you’re deceiving yourself. Nigerian women always want to prove that they can do it all, always want to prove they’re superwomen in their homes, I’m sorry do you get some kind of medal for this? Only you will cook, clean, go to work, take care of children, what is your husband now there for? Is it anybody’s fault that you want to kill your self on top of your marriage? I put myself first before anybody else, and I don’t care who wants to open their mouth to call me selfish. How can I be the best mother and wife to my family if I’m not taking care of myself mentally and physically. Nobody will kill me before my time and that is just the way I see life.

nathaliya:
Please do this,
Close your eyes, imagine you're married with 3kids, working class lady.

- You have to dedicate time for your kids to avoid molestation that's going on, I mean our kids are a priority right
- You have to spend several hours up at night giving it to your husband the way he likes
- You have to be at work on time to make sure your career dreams are intact
- You have to bring out time to groom nails, hair, spa, shop etc so your husband won't look outside
- You have to clean the house to avoid being called a lazy woman and because these housegirls can't be trusted before they snatch your husband
- Occassionally, family and other social engagements call and you have to answer to avoid being the evil wife.

Do you really think you can keep it all up 100% ?
Which would you sacrifice? Your husband's time? Your career? Your kids time? Your your beauty time? Your social life?

How will you feel when you find out tomorrow that your husband is dating a prettier girl who doesn't do anything except treat her skin, shop for good clothes and party hard because she's better looking than you and she knows all the "latest styles" you have been too busy to notice. Or do you think you will have time to practice the new dance moves?

See, until you've been there, you can't judge.
Many women have chosen their appearances and career over kids and marital duties. They don't care of the maid snatches their husband after all they are dating someone else's husband too, they don't care if the kids don't have good grades. Should these women be the measuring rod for all women?

What do you think?

.

Olalan:
Hmm as much as it was wrong for her to confront the side chick she seems very bitter at the seeming lose of her husband to the side chick. You can criticise her as per her shape, or looks but you should ask if the husband didn't was blind when he wired her and even made her a mother for His kids.

im pretty sure she wasn’t like this when he married her. The side chick is also married.

.

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Idontgiveafuck2:
WHAT WILL YOU DO IF A MARRIED MAN ASK YOU TO BE HIS SIDE CHICK?

Wouldnt agree. But like I said, the problem is not the side chicks.

Idontgiveafuck2:
SHUT DA Bleep UP AND CONDEMN YOUR TEAM MEMBER FIRST.THE MAN Bleep UP YES.CANT SHE SAY NO?

Who? The side chic? The problem is not the sidechick, at all.

.

larryking540:
That's why they say 2 head better pass one head ,,,
It's difficulty raising a kid alone but if even 30k isn't enough then u just have to manage the little u receive

or maybe the father has to work harder to provide more for his children.

larryking540:
U be thief ooo

to feed two children, buy their things, school fees. Excuse me, 30k is too small sef. What rubbish

letusbepieces:
Ok, how much exactly do you think he should pay every month as child maintenance.

No exaggeration, just a reasonable sum and be serious.

at least 30k for crying out loud.

Thank you. God bless you.

zoeycherie:
olabrinks, I've been up since 12am reading your posts and I want to say that you're amazing.

You're just so positive and your posts are always so empathetic and encouraging. Reading your posts makes me really happy. If you're anything like your comments in real life, then I'll say your family is blessed to know someone like you.

Please don't ever change. I remain a big fan. Thank you.

That is it. My cousin was a virgin and she was 25 when she got married in 2015. But she is yet to conceive, I’m not using her situation to mock her. What I’m trying to say is this life no get formula. My mum had her first child at 33, honestly it’s not by age unless she is very close to menopause. It’s by the reproductive health of the woman and man. I just pray this man will open his eyes, sort out his finances and marry this lady. To get wife in this generation, it is not a small thing at all.

Onyi22:
@Opp I will advice that you follow ur heart, remember it's ur life and u r d one to live with her after the wedding,
Forget about getting any meaningful advice from this forum because some of the guys on this forum r buttered, frustrated n miserable..
Some r impotent n have watery sprem that can't produce anything....
If u really love her and she possess the character u want in a woman pls marry her and allow God to perfect his will concerning your marriage...
Remember, u can marry a girl of 23 and she will still have difficulty in child bearing, u may marry me a Virgin, and she will not bear any child for u, it's all depends on God.
I wish u good luck

Hed0nist:
However as women age past 35, there is an increased risk of giving birth to babies with congenital defects like Down's syndrome etc. This also applies to men but to a waaay lesser degree and at a further age

yes but every pregnancy has risks. Ah beg leave that one jare, you men are too overly cautious about the wrong thing.

Liposure:
mummy, what causes d decline of fertility in ladies at dose ages 38, 39 u just mention

naturally when a woman ages the number of eggs in her ovaries decreases. Every month she will lose thousands of her eggs. By the time she hits menopause, they’re no more eggs left in her ovaries. There’s no egg for the sperm to fertilise, so the woman will not be able to conceive. Also the older you are the more likely you’re to have reproductive health isssues. But like I said this doesn’t happen until late 30s early 40s as it’s very gradual and it doesn’t happen over night.

Vyolet:
I don't understand why stupid boys keep springing up on this section year in, year out.

Someone is talking about his finance and you are condemning his babe saying she is humble because of age, like is someone not suppose to grow sense as they age?

Ok she is humble because she is old, should he dump her for you?

men are the cause of their own problems. Can you not see this nairaland sef? Everyday Men writing story books on their miserable marriages/relationships, they always make stupid irrational decisions based on hearsay and generalisation. Then when it’s too late, after investing time and money their eyes will open. Don’t use the sense that God gave to you, nonsense.

When you said the word aged I was even thinking maybe 40 something. She’s in her early 30s, as long as she has her period every month regularly with no issue, she is very much still able to conceive. Fertility doesn’t really drastically decline until 38 or 39, and she’s still able to have children then. The only time a woman will never be able to conceive is once she reaches menopause. My cousin that got married at 25, is having problems conceiving till now. It’s not always by age, it’s by the reproductive health of the mother and father.

proclinician:
20 to 25..... Whoring stage, very stubborn and sexploiting

27 -30 and above.. ... Calm and calculated. Time is running out. All men matters.

but yet I got married at 23. Stop being so stupid please, everybody’s journey is different. She’s not married at 30 doesn’t mean she has a bad character or she’s desperate. This is why some men are depressed and miserable for their whole lives, always generalising and making irrational decisions based on hearsay. Nonsense.

CrazyMan:
There is more to marriage than who clears up the dyiurishes. When you genuinely love someone all these irrelevant things would mean nothing. Cos there are more serious and pressing issues that needs attention in the home than dishes.

And yes most great girlfriends make terrible wives....and for the record, I'm not married.

You’re not married so please stfu and allow those who are married to contribute sensibly. It’s always those who are not married that think they know it all, but once they enter, they become so humble. Nonsense

I wonder oh. Most Nigerian men don’t even earn up to 300k per month, yet they want somebody’s daughter to kneel and serve them food. Are you an adequate husband bringing chicken change home to provide for the family? Yet you expect royal standard service from your wife, because you are the King of the palace abi?. Somebody that will still contribute money to the home because hubby is complaining that he is under too much financial stress. Abegiii

Gift7428:
Will you shut your dir ty mouth.
All this plenty talk because you make 80k Per month.

Dont go and improve your life and finances.
Be looking for a maid you cannot adequately care for.
I pity the woman with you because i know she will always be in complete lack.


I