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Health › Re: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by Onegai(f): 5:37pm On Oct 15, 2015

Hernyolar:
For babies with colic, it's advisable the mother avoid or reduce to the barest minimum,all diary products which includes milk. And this is just for a period of time, after 3months, colic tends to reduce in babies. After 2weeks of avoiding diary products, and if colic has'nt reduced, the mother can resume diary products back.

www.nbci.ca/?option=com_content&id=13:colic-in-the-breastfed-baby&Itemid=17

www.babycenter.com.au/a77/colic-in-babies.

I discovered during mine that my baby's colic worsens if I take egg,coke,lacasera and beans.
It's just a suggestion.
Thank you

The coke, lacasera and beans points to excess gas. Milk is usually for those who are lactose-intolerant.

Health › Re: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by Onegai(f): 7:21pm On Oct 14, 2015

vickilafab:
thanks sis. Some people say early schooling helps for brighter kids oooo.. that's y I'm asking.

It doesn't matter how old they start, it's what they learn and in what environment. My nephews go to one expensive (N1mil per annum for both boys) Montessori and the only good thing I see is that at least it's a safe environment and they keep the kids happy there, but half of the kids sounded like Fulbright Scholars and the other half sounded like they spent a looootttt of time with their uneducated nannies at home watching AfricaMagic. Meanwhile another cousin whose kids go to school (N450, 000 per annum) sound just as smart as the first group. Each child progresses according to the PARENT (who is the one that has the time to sit with the kids, go through homework together with them and reinforce the lessons learned in school). School gives them interactions with other kids (good) but a good teacher is a must (rare in these parts) but what they learn the most is from you.

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Health › Re: My New Born Baby Girl Still Weighs 3kg After 2 Months by Onegai(f): 11:48am On Oct 13, 2015

Take her to a GH asap. That vomiting sounds bad and she should have surpassed her birth weight by 2 months otherwise she will be deemed as having a "Failure to Thrive" and she may be below her estimated percentile. The constant vomiting, any other symptoms (excessive fussiness, etc)? Be ready to tell all to the paediatrician. Even things that seem normal may not be.

Crime › Re: Bank Robbery In FESTAC Town by Onegai(f): 10:23am On Oct 13, 2015

4bobo:
Bros easy na. Which water ways are close to festac , I haven't seen any around that axis. It is only swampy areas I know. Haba

The canal. There's even a bridge connecting 4th avenue to 6th avenue. There's water and it would be the smartest way to get out of Festac (Ojo, Badagry and Apapa). If Nigeria was sensible, the police would have radioed the Navy to ask their patrol boats to look for any flying boats with young man and stop and search, even a helicopter can give aerial tracking... buhhhhh this is. Nigeria. we are. talking about...the easy stuff we cannot get right yet we are shouting and making noise about being some. silly giant of Africa blah blah

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Family › Re: Tips On Saving Your Drowning Marriage As A Woman by Onegai(f): 9:58am On Oct 13, 2015

Highcuerayte:
You deem it women are inferior to men?

bros answer my question: is the president more powerful than his ministers and is it the ministers' duty to control the president and do the president's job all the time? Shebi women are meant to be doing all the heavy lifting saving their marriages and men are the leaders, according to your words.

No dey use question dodge another question o... you're trying to misdirect. Answer: is the leader meant to shoulder more responsibility and take the blame for a failed project more than his follower?

If you cannot answer, please go away and keep checking if OAU cut-off mark for Biochemistry is out (i hope you made it though

)

3 Likes

Family › Re: Tips On Saving Your Drowning Marriage As A Woman by Onegai(f): 8:42am On Oct 13, 2015

Highcuerayte:
What do you say about a man who keep cheating on his wife? The wife won't do anything to help him regain his lost sense?

What do you do about the MD of a company embezzling corporate funds? Will you the junior staff not try to help him regain his lost senses? How will you go about it, after you counsel him and he refuses to listen? Will your very nice and sweet and disciplined behaviour change his ways? Because if that's so, then the real reason Nigeria is so bad is not the corrupt leaders, but the people under them. So it's not GEJ's fault he couldn't control his Min of Petroleum, Diezani. It's Diezani's job to be a saint so that GEJ would be a better president. Right... huh

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Family › Re: Tips On Saving Your Drowning Marriage As A Woman by Onegai(f): 8:27am On Oct 13, 2015

Highcuerayte:
And that is why I include point 1 & 2. This allow you to create the link again.It allows you to reach again to your husband. It helps you to get him involved.

In a point when the leader is not listening or leading a woman who wants to keep her home make plan to get him to listen and get him to lead.That's the main point of the write up.You have got to initiate it as a woman.

You know, if a woman has to initiate a man's leadership skills, then he's probably not the leader, she is. I'm just stating logic. Or at work, do you initiate everything so your boss comes and then does his/her job? Wouldn't that make him a poor boss?

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Family › Re: Tips On Saving Your Drowning Marriage As A Woman by Onegai(f): 8:25am On Oct 13, 2015

Oh boy, another thread telling women how to "save" their marriages! grin

Walai, if I was a Nigerian man, I'd be so ashamed that my own society thinks I'm incapable of being a leader and keeping my marriage and family intact. That apparently my own society believed that the only job is to put the ring on her finger, be indolent with chores and responsibility, father children and make some money. Which the average woman is now able to do successfully on her own. Which makes the man redundant.

How can men keep being happy with such mediocrity and even worse, it's other men telling you "hey dude, don't do any work or heavy lifting in your marriage! "? Talk about the bar being set so low...

undecided

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Family › Re: I Dont Know What To Do About My Wife's Behaviour. by Onegai(f): 4:04pm On Oct 11, 2015

Phema:
@Onegai: Deep. Nice.

Tenkyiu

Family › Re: I Dont Know What To Do About My Wife's Behaviour. by Onegai(f): 7:11am On Oct 11, 2015*

OP, do you say "thank you" to her as well, for little things such as bringing you dinner?

See, I'm going to ask you a question: have you ever made comments, maybe during a fight or absent-mindedly, to the effects that "without you or what ypu provide, she's nothing? " A lot of times, women are told to love a man, adore him, pet him like a child and all sorts and he will treat them well. Which is kind of bad advice as it makes it seem like women need marriage and they have to spend the rest of their lives placating the man for "stooping so low as to marry her". So since you've spoken to her about this issue several times and she's still ignoring, perhaps, we should assume this is what goes through her mind:

"oh he wants to be constantly say "thank you" like his slave, yes he's taking care of me but when I take care of him, he doesn't notice, he treats it as if it is his right like he did me a favour in marrying him so I should spend the rest of my life pleasing him whilst whatever he does, anything involving me, he's expecting me to acknowledge it like a king stepped down from heaven to help a servant. Well guess who's not falling for that!! "

She's silently fighting you

the fight has already begun since, you just didn't realise it (most men never do until the screaming part, which is the end of the fight, comes around grin

)

I suspect this is the case because of how you described her behaviour in the Job matter. She was proud of her own input but deliberately refuses to acknowledge your own input. It's galling to be a woman in Nigerian society where you are treated as a second-class citizen (people of recent keep asking me to thank my husband for helping to take care of his own child, yet no-one is asking him to thank me for taking care of him. And he brings it up, I will keep quiet but start acting like your wife).

It's the same with parents and kids, yes you are sacrificing for them but do not constantly bring it up and throw it in their face, it rankles.

Start by saying "thank you" to her for little things: say "oh thanks for doing the dishes", "hey thanks for lunch", "oh did you already give Junior his bath and get him ready for school, thanks o". Teach her by example (you be the man no, Natural Born Leader abi grin

). She will follow your example.

Acknowledge her efforts in the little things (by your own admission she's a good wife) and she will acknowledge your efforts in the big things.

She's a good wife and she loves you and you love her but I suspect you subtly make yourself seem like a benevolent dictator and she dislikes it but dare not complain (lest the society starts to harangue her with "be grateful or he will leave you o! " so she's fighting you in her own little way. Just you start appreciating her little efforts, she'll join you.

6 Likes 2 Shares

Family › Re: After Yrs Of Marriage,she And Her Ex-boyfriend Still Secretly Communicate.advice by Onegai(f): 9:28pm On Oct 10, 2015

Hmm.

OP, firstly if you are a kind and gentle man, don't change. People are stupid to whom ever they decide to be stupid to and women do respect soft men (I married one sef).

It seems from the man's behaviour (the one you spoke to whom replied you harshly) your wife has given him ammunition to speak to you so badly. And your wife keeps calling and communicating with others is not the problem, it's the fact that she's willing to lie when you ask her to stop and explained it reasonably (I hope you did).

I'd tell your wife that she should please head back to her parent's home and you guys get a separation. Say it in a calm manner and don't get angry or get provoked. Call her parents to get her out if she refuses to leave. Don't let them attempt to settle the matter, as they are merely putting plaster over a deep wound.

Mind you, a separation is not a divorce. Let her go and decide what important to her and you need to think what's important to you. Make sure she doesn't return for 3 months (the first month she will beg in a false manner, manipulation, reporting all sorts about you to anyone who cares to listen, lots of tears, bible quoting and even a pastor will be asked to beg you. Expect this and say no and keep her away. 2nd month it will begin to dawn on her "this man is serious" and she will try calling you back. Ignore her. 3rd month of her being out of your life will induce panic in her).

If you can be very strong, I'd recommend this separation last for 6 months.

Once she's panicking and thinks it's all over for good, tell her you are willing to consider continuing the marriage if she on her own, cuts off all communications with everyone (I mean EVERYONE) in her life (no phones). And she has to make that guy who spoke rudely to you on the phone apologise to you. He must call you and apologise (if she refuses to, calmly tell her you're seeing another lady and a divorce takes a year after to finalise. Be very calm when you're saying this).

She must prove herself to you unless you have a right to value your peace of mind. If you do both fix this, you both have to work on your marriage to find out the root cause of all this.

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Family › Re: Would Be [2015] Brides; Come In, Let's Plan Together! by Onegai(f): 8:26pm On Oct 10, 2015

Shininstar30:
Hw do I get it, am in abj

You would have to contact your local florist, go and speak to those selling flowers (look for nice gardens and pictures of their past work), ask for a quote.

If you are in Festac Lagos, please speak to Mrs Ogbonna, 08033249570. Such a wonderful lady, knew so much about plants, caring for flowers and the right ones to get and her work was hassle-free. Just give her a colour scheme and some images as examples of what you want. That's her job from this year, roses, coxcombs, some yellow plants, flame of the forest flowers, greens and gardenias. Everyone wanted the bouquets.

Health › Re: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by Onegai(f): 3:14am On Oct 10, 2015

SAMBARRY broken it down before let me down again

parlour Parry means small party. The child doesn't have to invite all his classmates in school and Sunday school class. Tell him to just invite 3 of his close friends in class
3of his close friends in the neighbourhood and 3of his close friends in church making 9 children

there are affordable low price cakes. Find one struggling caterer you can tell to bake you better cake of not more than 5k.at most 7k

rice of 8 derica is ok . One derica is 200 naira, so making it 200naira x 8 cups is1600 naira.

tomato 400 naira, pepper 200 naira is ok then 100 naira onions, 50naira Maggi, thyme of 80 naira making it 830naira then buy 2kilo of turkey. A kilo is 800 naira so 2 will be 1600 naira

photographs shouldn't be more than 2k

A pack of plastic coke is 2k.mix it with fanta another 2k making it 4k.no need for dj.na parlour party. Just make the environment children friendly and put children music on

those that want to play video game should go to another section of the sitting room

No need to buy water. Water is in the dispenser near the dinning table. Any child that wants water should indicate

then pack of sweet is 400 naira

Big bowl of ice cream is 1500 just pour some inside small plastic cups for them

decorate the sitting room with balloons. Just buy 150 naira balloons

calculate all that money and tell me if e reach 10k talk more of 40k

.you people just believe that if you've not done a big party for kids you've not done anything

souvenirs too shouldn't be too expensive. Inside the souvenir will be exercise book of 100 naira. Put 3sweet and 3chewing gum. Buy sweet of 3 ten naira and chewing gum 10 naira making it 20 naira. Put eraser 5m 30 naira and pencil 10 naira inside the souvenir small nylon as take away for 9 kids lobatan

The reason why kiddies party go overboard is because of ADULTS. at the end of the day you displace the kids and the kids have no other choice than to sit back and watch. Some adults don't even know their actions make kids feel bad

Ask him to invite his friends and classmates His birthday is all about celebrating him and not you. Put them in groups, find a couple games for them to play( including board games), take pictures while they are doing one activity or the other, cut the cake when it is almost time, serve them the food then send them off to their homes.

It is his birthday not the family's. That is why he should be the one doing the invitataon. You want to have a personal swell time, get him involved in the food preparation (he can help out with the tasting and mixing albeit with your supervision), also you can ask him to choose the colours for the decoration.

Please don't act like our typical Nigerian parents who turn their kid's birthday into a society affair. There is no reason for an adult to present at a kid's birthday. You don't need speakers or chairs, if your living room is big enough- decorate it for them. You also do not need 20 kids, there is nothing wrong with having 10 kids around.

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Family › Re: Would Be [2015] Brides; Come In, Let's Plan Together! by Onegai(f): 9:32pm On Oct 09, 2015

For those who like real flowers for their wedding (I feel this is much classier than fake bouquets and some fake bouquets cost as much as N40, 000), May I suggest buying from your local florist? The professional wedding floral stores will charge you N45, 000 for one bouquet (and may use imported roses, lilies and more which will be half-wilted by the time your wedding comes) but your local florist grows tropical flowers in their garden (which will last longer because they are acclimitised). And their prices will be way cheaper. Imagine 5 bouquets and 1 boutonierre for N25, 000.

For those planning in Lagos and other big cities, you've probably realised getting a decent hall can be start from N400, 000. So why not look for alternatives such as halls belonging to schools, churches and hospitals? Go there, ensure the air-conditioners are in good working condition and they have parking and some security and most times they are usually cheaper (Sickle Cell Foundation Idi-Araba Surulere has a hall for about N250, 000 compared to Banilux hotel in Sabo Surulere for example). Get extra security from your hall or event decorator.

Those fake flower bouquets tend to look alike in pictures and have no personality. A bouquet of imported flowers from a wedding vendor can cost more than N45, 000. Meanwhile, roses and lilies don't last well in tropical weather. Why not go to your local florist and use tropical flowers for your bouquet? They are stronger and will last longer and are much cheaper (N10, 000 thereabouts). I've seen so many that are classy and colourful.

Family › Re: A Few Thoughts On Unclothedness AKA N@kedness by Onegai(f): 5:49pm On Oct 09, 2015

Stillfire:
Nu.dity is contextual. You can express it in art, in science, on a nudist beach, among indigenous tribes, but as soon as you take it upon yourself to walk nake.d on the streets of New York or Lagos in the name of freedom of expression or liberation, I will call the damn cops.
No, I don't want to see any random person's naked body.
Be naked in your house and express yourself there.

Like seriously. Anyone who calls that article deep probably believes fried rice is the most nutritious and balanced meal ever. I hate pseudo-intellectualism.

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Health › Re: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by Onegai(f): 4:41pm On Oct 09, 2015

MiracleMum:
With my daughter, if you like use syringe oh - put the drug under the tongue or by the side she will spit everything out. or hide it in her mouth then when you look away she will turn her head to the side and bring out everything. So i had to do it the "soldier way" (I know some mothers will crucify me now but its for her good and also mine). I spank her a little on her toes, once she opens her mouth to cry i quickly drop the drug and next thing she swallows it. Then i pet her. shikena

I also discovered another way to make her swallow drugs. i tickle her then while she opens her mouth to laugh i quickly drop and kpere she swallows it - mission accomplished.

Soldier way works for stubborn little boys more than sweet babies in my family. I have used a live chicken to scare someone to screaming point just to get him to eat his food. He may need Therapy when he grows up but he finished that food that afternoon. I also threatened to hold another one under water in the bathtub if he kept annoying me.

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Health › Re: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by Onegai(f): 10:30am On Oct 09, 2015

[quote author=mytestimony post=38811233]Nurse kaffy4bill and other mamas please help. They say force d drugs if she is nt taking. No matter how I force she vomits it. What do I do. Please help. She has stopped eating. Only breast milk. Please

If she wants only breastmilk then give her that for now, Baby E did the same after her immunization and when she's not feeling her usual self. Nursing comforts babies so they do it a lot. Don't force drugs, baby can choke. Use the plastic medicine syringe which comes with baby medicine bottle like Infant Tylenol and place the medicine at the side of her mouth beside her cheeks, not in the centre where she can push it out. Press it slowly.

1 Like

Health › Re: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by Onegai(f): 8:20pm On Oct 08, 2015

Deezou:
Pls house am a ftm,my boy is 4weeks+3 now and he takes like 3 days to deficate,his stomach is always bloated.i took it 2 b normal since i av seen my little siblings do like dat.3 days ago was his time and he did it as expected bt it was too little compared 2 wat he used 2 excrete and he was crying b4 doing it.dis tym arnd he did like last time and he is still crying after doing d little one,it is now past an hour and nothing yet,still crying.pls anything i can do?Or i should take him 2 hosp?

Cc:kaffy4bill

Are you giving him formula? Because that is common with formula-fed babies. If youre giving him breast milk, then there's a chance you may need more of the right foods to aid his constipation, as a bit of what you eat does end up in your breastmilk.

Health › Re: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by Onegai(f): 3:06pm On Oct 08, 2015

modath:
Ok then, we cool... Peace out...

Why you add that, e jo e fun daddy se oo

I cut at 6wks to give an even look...

@onegai,
How ya doing, baby? long time, take care.

we are kicking kicking grin

thanks

Family › Re: MY Baby Is 5 Month Old Today (photo) by Onegai(f): 1:29pm On Oct 08, 2015

congratulations

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Family › Re: Photos: How Many Husbands/Men Can Do This? by Onegai(f): 1:27pm On Oct 08, 2015

That is what a father looks like.

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Health › Re: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by Onegai(f): 1:22pm On Oct 08, 2015

mytestimony I kinda agree with modath, let the hospital run the tests a few more times and feel free to ask a competent paediatrician for a 2nd opinion. I have senior paeds on pinging (unlike modath's ones, they demoted me from speed-dial grin

) and one is in malaria research and from what I gather, fevers in babies can be caused by several things: teething, malaria, a viral or bacterial infection etc. But to start treatment without confirmation, if I were you I'd get a second opinion.

And doctors tend to give you the info that will sway you to taking their opinion as valid and the only answer, when sometimes that's not the case.

1 Like 1 Share

Politics › Re: Niger Delta May Erupt In Violence Again, International Group Warns Buhari by Onegai(f): 11:51am On Oct 08, 2015

mheey:
Biafra is different from the south south..hope you know?

If una wa waka...u r free too ;DDD
No they carry south south pple join body

Abeg take 1000 likes for this comment! Also go to your nearest bar and collect one chilled bottle of Orijin, drink's on me.

3 Likes

Health › Re: NEW BORN BABIES! Are U A New Mum? Then Lets Discuss Babies Here!!!!! by Onegai(f): 10:06am On Oct 08, 2015

MiracleMum:
Oh, its a lagos address i have.

May I have that address? Thanks

Family › Re: Inside Ajegunle Hotel Where Little girls Dance for Old Men At night by Onegai(f): 10:55am On Oct 06, 2015

edwife:
What do you mean it's 1 out of 500?I have been to two parties like that,and the parents are even enlighten but could do nothing because the "aunties" decided to have a competition for them.

Who hired the aunties in charge of the party? I know a party where, once things started to look wild, a parent made a point of getting up and collecting his child from the dancers and other parents followed suit quickly (you know how Nigerians like to be "among" wink

because no-one wanted the others to judge them. And they complained later on to the parent who hired the DJ who encouraged the wild dancing.

Like someone told me "parent your child well because he or she may be an innocent being but the rest of the world isn't. And you cannot control the rest of the world, just your child".

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Family › Re: Inside Ajegunle Hotel Where Little girls Dance for Old Men At night by Onegai(f): 9:41am On Oct 06, 2015*

@5minsmadness Paedophilia has always existed but it's on the rise nowadays.

And this is awful: mothers and fathers exposed their lack of morality and good judgement in this situation (who brings a child to a nightclub and who watches a child dance for them at a nightclub? )

This is a societal problem, I've seen what 5mins is talking about I was at Elegushi at night and we were walking to our bar and I saw a bunch of kids gyrating under a lightpole and some fathers started spraying them and their mothers were pleased. And all the situations were this is acceptable is usually a lower class environment. So yes, poverty is a factor as there is little privacy or encouragement to keep certain private things private and anything goes if it makes money (just ask village kids of age 7 what sex is, you'd be shocked).

You cannot ask government to legislate how to bring up your kids but you can make them pass and enforce laws that won't allow minors inside a club till 18. You can't make our musicians sing clean music with clean videos but you can parent more strenuously that your child knows such music videos don't show acceptable behaviour. You cannot tell a parent how to dress their child, but simply teach your own child such dressing isn't acceptable. And that's good parenting.

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Family › Re: Should She Abort The Two Months Pregnant Or Not. by Onegai(f): 5:33pm On Oct 05, 2015

I'd keep the baby and see if the marriage survives and if not, okay. There's a strong chance her husband knew he was impotent (refusing to do tests and immediately knowing he wasn't responsible for her pregnancy) yet rather than tell his wife, led her to all sorts of emotional stress and anguish. And those herbalists know how to "arrange a pregnancy" for those desperate. She must have hoped the husband will stay silent and accept the baby since he knew he couldn't father a child.

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Business › Re: Amazon Now Ships Any Item To Nigeria And Kenya - No Third Party Involved by Onegai(f): 11:45am On Oct 05, 2015

omonnakoda:
It is always good to think of the bigger picture. Yes I agree that Nigerians like everyone else are entitled to buy shiny things.

But we must remember

Shopping with Amazon is consumption and consuming without producing has been our bane.
If you consume goods from abroad you have to sell something back what are we selling besides oil
What is it that entitles us to consume? Only the productive deserve to consume
Amazon is not a Nigerian company and will not pay taxes in Nigeria
When we consume we are spending scarce foreign exchange and creating jobs NOT in Nigeria but in Amazon's home countries and in those countries that manufacture what Amazon sells. Interestingly most of what Amazon sells is manufactured in China and other Asian countries . More jobs in those countries and fewer in ours. The goods travel from Asia to Europe and then America and back to Africa and who pays for this?
More jobs for DHL and other logistic companies(In Europe)

We should not be happy grateful or celebrating but when a people have been deprived for so long this is difficult.
We should encourage Nigerian or African Amazons or force Amazon to incorporate in Nigeria and pay taxes in Nigeria and employ Nigerians. Everything Amazon does Nigerians can and should do. We should not be grateful for an opportunity to spend our money. Nigeria is potentially a top 10 economy if our young people dare to dream. Amazon is quite simply a middle man.

This is the sort of move that our government should pay strategic interest to. We should learn from countries like Malaysia and Indonesia. If we must consume let us do so in a way that creates Nigerian jobs e.g why are there no major companies making phones laptops etc in Nigeria in large numbers . No Asian country with our population will put up with that. I was pained to see photos of GEJ shopping in London,he is entitled to do so but you can bet nothing he bought was made in London . It is all China or Asia these days(almost all anyway) Another example is perfume ,make up and alcohol. A huge drain on our Forex for things we can and should make. Let Amazon come but let us do what the Chinese do learn their secrets,copy and take over.

Adverts › Re: ... by Onegai(f): 9:19pm On Oct 01, 2015

Family › Re: Man Batters Wife, Throws Her Out For Rejecting Custody Of Love Child (Pictured) by Onegai(f): 1:33pm On Sep 30, 2015

harbeedaymee:
She deserved it. Why did she reject the love child? What has the innocent child done to warrant such a harsh reaction?

Correct! May your husband bring home twins from his outside gf for you to take care of, May he never stop impregnating women outside the home he swore with you to uphold and protect, as you are so kindhearted, oya receive this blessing grin

If you say anything else other than "Amen" to this post, you are a hypocrite and olohun I will descend on you verbally grin

I'm dead serious angry

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Family › Re: Man Batters Wife, Throws Her Out For Rejecting Custody Of Love Child (Pictured) by Onegai(f): 1:30pm On Sep 30, 2015

Dear Naija Wives,

UNA DON TAKE YA "ENDURANCE" MEDICINE TODAY grin

Leave a cheating husband mmbbaa! Dey there dey "endure". Even her in-laws joined hands to beat her up for her "disobedience". No-one will blame the man, they will ask this battered wife to get on her knees and pray for forgiveness and submissive spirit and more power to endure.

Oniranu

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Family › Re: Need Advice From Married Couples/divorced Women by Onegai(f): 8:38am On Sep 30, 2015

heartbrokenwife:
He has indicated he wants us to stay married while he TRIES to see if he can stop.

Hmmm.

A mistake is "this happened once and I am so sorry I swear to do everything to fix it till I die", not "I can't help myself, I live a double life like a CIA agent with multiple phones and social media accounts and my side chicks may one day clash over me".

Well, the ball rests in your court and it is not an easy decision and you have to be strong to stand by whatever decision you make.

Btw of course his parents will tell you to endure. They are concerned more about their son than you. No matter how much any in-law loves you, they loved their child first and will sacrifice anyone's peace of mind to keep said child happy. After all, my cousin's wife in your situation was told "we knew he was bad but we hoped him marrying you will change him". Her peace of mind sacrificed on the altar of his family's wanting to shape their son's public perception to be better. They shed tears with her over her constant humiliations and heartbreak and go home and eat and sleep in peace after all their son is still married and that's all they want, to be able to speak well of their child to others and not say "oh he's single in his 50s, two wives have left his cheating arse".

Funny enough, just like your husband, my cousin forbade his wife from wearing any skirts above knee level because it "exposed her thighs" (according to him). Yet one of his gfs (I'll never forget this) showed up to his hangout in a tight black mini skirt. I could have slapped him in anger because his wife was there dressing like Mary Amaka to please him whilst his babes were all hot chicks.

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