₦airaland Forum

The cure for cheating, according to experts on NL

if you like, do the 6-legged monkey crawl in bed, a cheat will complain that you have too much experience and look for a quiet girl to chest with.

And for everyone asking their wives to dress hot, how about you help out with chores and the children so she's not tired all the time? Yes, yes I know "your mother held a job down and did all her housework with her bare hands and teeth whilst rausing 20 kids with no complaints, modern women are lazy" but remember this: your mother also went to bed in wrapper and nightgown, a hair net and rubbed white Shirley cream all over her face...

angelchinny:
Okay will do jst dat. What if I fake calls and make him jealous as well cos I told him recently dat my 1st love re-sufaced n he is realy hrtbroken dat am already married cos he came bk 4 us to rekindle our love. He got realy mad n couldn't sleep dat night

Next time don't tell him. Simply start looking good and enjoy a flirtation with your male friend (I said flirtation o, for now). Don't tell him who's calling and password your phone. Get a life away from him. Start saving up spare change from what he gives you and insist on using a condom. You need to build your confidence and self-esteem back. Your husband and every man out there know that no-one will advise you to leave him so his apologies are just stories to absolve himself of guilt. What will terrify him is the thought of losing you to another man. His ego will be dented. You don't need to tell him you're enjoying gist with an ex, just simply do it and watch him have sleepless nights wondering whether you go waka. A cheat is always scared that someone will do it back to them.

People will come and say "don't listen this will break your marriage", please is your marriage not already broken? he's not just cheating, he's pretending to be single. My dear, if I give you the gist of other women who were in your situation (husbands whose cheating became emotional and they were pretending to be single), you will run away in fear for your life. Those that ended up with HIV, those that almost got arrested by the family of the single girls being deceived, those that ended using their salary to pay off pregnant girls and girls who demanded the money for travel that the husbands promised them when he was pretending to be single (blackmailing the wife so she will chase the man away), those that were subjected to social media taunts when they confronted the babe privately...

ayolight I didn't receive any email from your hubby, i asked a friend to contact him. a please send documents to nry258@hotmail.com

Ladies of Nairaland, I've got your "IT IS YOUR FAULT HE CHEATS-BLACK BRA AND RED PANT" combo right here. Just quote me and state your size comes with one carton of condoms and a Prayer book titled "The Long-Suffering Wife", as added bonus.


Get yours today! Subject to availability!!

Nothing new about this: I rocked threads 3 years ago and a friend rocked threads last year. It's actually harder to find stylists in Lagos who do threads well.

GHoJes:
I dont think she came to share bad news with glee, it was not her first time of seeing them. She prolly didnt know how best to handle it as a result, she told Op who is also friend with the Mrs. I see that it is the care she had for her friend that made her to be angry with the "mind your business answer Op gave her" and that also made her question their friendship going by what the Op said. If she was a mere gossip/carrier of bad news, she could have said it the first time she saw them, go ahead to tell Mrs. Even Op described her as the most comely lady she knows, she could not just have turned to a gossip if Op has not noticed her gossiping any of the friends before. I think she came for Op and her to put heads together to see how they can tell their friends, if Op had told her to confront the man, i think she would have accepted it than the mind your business when its friends involued.
What if your friend has seen your man twice or more in compromising situations with another woman and your friend was at a distance or position that did not allow her confront your man, would you rather have her tell you or wait for another opportunity when she is able to confront him first. Also which will you do if its your friend's man.

Here's the thing though: each person is different. If my friend sees something, she will know how to approach me with the news. That's why we're friends. I can get angry but I will know "this person will never deliberately hurt me so she's telling me this to help me". For her, I'd tail her husband and the other woman (our friendship has knacked 20 years, we good with boundaries ) and confirm without a doubt what I saw, then tactfully approach her, or better yet, noisily approach hubby and other girl with a "hey just ran into you! wassup! can i hang out for a while, how's madam, let me even tell her now now I'm with you... " etc.

5minsmadness:
For others who like to chatter it's easy. They would gleefully go to their friends house and tell them all the juicy tidbits all in the name of 'am your friend o, I don't want you to have HIV and die!' Such friends are the same ones who will insist you leave him or her and will look down on you if you dare forgive your partner or refuse to get a divorce. As if it's thier life! Rubbish!
You are not part of the relationship. Allow them sort themselves out!

If you feel the need to warn about HIV do it tactfully. Tell the guilty spouse that you'll need her to do an HIV test else you wil report her partner. Warn her that next time you catch her she'll be in soup. Attack the guilty party and let her be the one to confide or Confess what she has done! She's the one involved in the relationship, it's her choice not yours! Most normal human beings when caught by a third party would retrace thier steps knowing they have been given a second chance. If they don't repent then you know you did your best to maintain our friends happiness and then u can report directly and with TACT. not as if you have finally found a good morsel of meat to chew on or worse yet tell everyone of your friends except the person involved

This is probably the best way to handle it: tactfully. It sounds more like Miss C was calling to share bad news gleefully. I mean, she got passed when shut down, rather than reflect on what had happened. She could have gone to say "hello" to the husband and watch him squirm, but she called the OP first. Her motives don't seem right. I personally want my friend telling me if they see anything and I have told when I saw/heard, with a lot of tact.

Kimoni:
Onegai!!!!

I suspect you used to do this as a kid see the perfect description...but anyhow, mummy must still hear about it

I have my first aid box handy with all sort of colorful plasters ready for them, I will even ask them to choose the plaster they want

By the time the Flying-Down-the-Staircase happened, my mum had survived even more fun stunts such as tying wrapper round the neck and screaming "Superman! " before diving off the balcony to land on the car roof. The staircase one didn't even bother her

Kimoni:
Letting them slide from the stairway kwa and I'm sure the kids will be enjoying it until they hear "gbam" on their head

And they'll come running to mummy

Cor-rection: the gbam sometimes happens to another part of the body, depending on how the child falls. And no, the child should not run to mummy or daddy (why report yourself for punishment!), instead meet the nearest oldest sibling to deliver punishments on the other children who clearly goaded you into putting a mattress on the stairs and angling it in a way to make it go as fast as possible before ending up slamming into the wall, shrieking in pain. Good luck trying to CCTV that.

Not that I'm speaking from experience or anything

Please contact The Fountain Of Life Bible Church as the author is wife to the head pastor.

Bumping this thread up.

Someone once told us about a driver he knew, who had 11 children. Our old gateman came to meet everyone one Christmas for money to marry a new wife and install her in the shed he lived in, because he wanted more children.



People like this expect those doing better financially to fund their families. It's crazy.

I think mandatory family planning should occur: low income earners should be limited to one child and higher income, 2 children. Our resources are not going to keep supporting everyone. And to burden your children with the task of training their younger ones is just awful, they haven't begun to worry about their own families yet and their parents have already added more wahala to their heads. We can talk and talk, but the people most guilty of this are not on NL, they're procreating out there.

Your child is a SHARED RESPONSIBILITY.

My father earned well o, yet he had time to teach me how to fry an egg, take me to school, pronounce words and wake me up to bath (he did that for all his kids).

My brother changed Baby E's diaper and fed her last week. My other brother stayed with me in the delivery room and even took time off from work to care for her. Hubby is right now putting Baby E to sleep, after feeding her.

None of those guys are doing badly financially. Their masculinity has not been reduced by 1% for caring for their blood.

But y'all's manliness is challenged by being responsible for the human you helped create, to the point where you say "on my wife can't ask this of me often as she may abuse it", whose genes and last name does that child carry, that there will be a question of abuse when asking you to simply be responsible for your own flesh and blood

truly the King of the Jungle in Ajegunle

With the almost daily cases of Child Abuse being reported, I want to bring this topic up again.

I've gotten my copy of Nomthi Odukoya's "No, Don't Touch Me There" (I am in no way affiliated to the author). Since I cannot sew AgbadaPampers to cover Baby E up "decently" and no-one can be trusted to have self-control and the law will not defend her (even worse, they may accuse her of tempting her attacker), I decided the best form of defence is offence.

Please grab your copy or any book that will help you relate this serious issue to your kids. Both parents, take time to sit down together as a family and discuss it with your babies. Also, appropriate videos exist, teaching about how children can keep safe from Child Abuse.

Emma was a nice girl who minded her business when she was young. I'm sad to hear this happen to her and wish her all the best.

I don't get this trend of making one's kids turn against the spouse or taking children away from one parent (usually they are taken from their mother). It always backfires. Someone tried that stunt recently and found himself in jail (the mum called the police on her husband) and everyone supported the wife. Why would you ever think your marital problems will be solved by removing your kids from their mother's presence without informing her, especially if she is no danger to them? Because you know it will hurt her and a woman will do anything for her children, it becomes emotional blackmail to make her bend to your demands.

Enfamil, Aptamil, Gerber Good start. It's a bit surprising he doesn't want to eat though.

ayolight please email your documents to me, I wanna send them to a radio presenter in lagos to see if we can get it on the radio here and on social media.

MGeey:
Thanks Nita2013 and kaffy4bill on your experience with tommy tippee teat. Each time i use it for my 3months old son, he keeps pushing it out or is it me that can't use it? Or is it that its too soft/hard for him? Maybe i should try the momma feeding bottle. Please how much does it go for? Thanks.

Tommy Tippie and Medela are quite soft and tend to collapse. Dr Brown's is slow flo and and very well recommended.

ayolight what passport office are you guys going to? in Lagos, with a contact, you can get a passport in less than a week for N25, 000. Is your passport office that quick.

Does anyone know who can help with that passport?

in order to speed up funding, let's look and see if we can get any celebrities in Nigeria on this. can churches get on this too? Everyone please ask

@ayolight Giditraffic on Twitter has gotten 500 people to retweet this info, please is it okay to post the account number there? Guys is it safe?

For those wanting it, it's Ogunruku Mercy Itunu UBA
2056071186

#HelpSaveLight

Seun, lalasticlala and any other mods, please move this to the front page asap. We need to help this baby. Please. I will tag usernames I know on this thread so people can see it and help get this baby help.

cococandy
SamBarry
mutter
thorpido
lewistherin

please if I've tagged you, help spread the word to people who follow you. This has been going on for a while please.

Please have you guys started applying for the Indian visas? I don't know the process, but can someone help them with that pro bono (if they need help) so that while we are fundraising, we can be prepared that once we get what we need, the baby is ready to travel the next day or in 2 days. Thanks.

Many private hospitals should not be open. There should be more stringent rules and enforcement. Please report this case to the medical council and demand an autopsy and full medical report of what transpired and the reason why they didn't proffer a referral (it is your absolute right to get a referral and a second opinion from another doctor).

Feranchek:
So na like this you hate me reash okwaya Diaris godu o0o00o!

Bros why you complain? I don pencil your name down for the next 2 life cycles, you wan make I demote you to 10 life cycles after??

Don't worry, that life cycle I will make sure it's sweet for you I will find you when I'm 18 and fresh.

Feranchek:
I can paint nails o0oo0...

e ya and I'm married and just had a baby. The thought of se.x (with all the sleep deprivation) is enough to make me an axe murderer. But give me your number, in my next life let's see


No wait, I just remembered I'm marrying a white dude in my next life. The life cycle after that one, do you wanna book me down for that??

Are there any doctors in UITH Ilorin that can forward her medical records and see if she can do the surgery?

SAMBARRY:
cats are one of the easiest creatures to kill.


All it takes is to grab the thing. Tie its two hands and legs, put inside sac and tie it very well. Roll it over your head several times and slam its head on the floor like 3 times till its dead. Lobatan.


Kilolembe

Abeg if I've offended you at any time in the future, I apologise This ya description shows you have the mind and liver to do anything to any living creature. Please don't let me fall asleep around you when you're pissed or hungry


and I thought my two older sisters were gangsters...

lol so me

I'm with Feranchek on this: fun. I'd love a man like this and this picture will be a constant reminder of a nice memory when he and I have rough days, I will hold onto it.

mutter:
I love cats. They are so faithful and carry themselves with elegance.
The last cat I had saved my baby's life more or less.
I brought my baby home from the hospital but it kept throwing up.
I had a hard time with the cat she insisted on being not only in the room with the baby but was constantly jumping into the baby bed
I kept throwing her out but she was so persistent. Since she didn't do it with the other baby I decided to let the cat have her way . She would lie at the foot of the bed and stay there. One day I was in the kitchen cooking. The cat ran in frantic. Meaww!!! And out. Came in and out I just had to follow her. She ran to the baby bed and the baby had thrown up and was choking on it. She watched over my baby like her own., always called me once the baby was awake or started throwing up.
My cat was a house cat though. Wouldn't like a cat that left the house near my baby.

Now that's a great story! Same thing happened to a friend's dad and their dog: she alerted them their dad was in danger.

People don't realise the difference between house pets and other types: most of the pets I see in Nigeria are not house pets, they've not been trained properly. A proper house pet is an asset.

Before anyone castigates her, let us play the tape of the most likely scenario that led to this apology:

"omg you put it out there for the whole world to see and people who know our family are now calling me to ask why I seized my grandchildren from their mother! Especially since I didn't have a concrete reason to keep them (it's not like the Mother was a danger to anyone). Now you've embarrassed me and made me look bad in front of everyone and as a Nigerian, being made to look bad is worse than actually being bad! You will get your children back but you must make a public apology to clear my name! In fact come and collect your children as soon as possible! "

I've been in this sort of situation and yes, I too apologised to the person who was clearly wrong because everyone wanted to bury the hatchet and it was easier for them to ask me to do so.

It may have not been the wisest move to hit social media but it was the most expedient move. I doubt the grandmother would have released the children as fast as this if she had gone there, powerless and begging (even with the British High Commission, it would have taken a while).

Anyone who takes Baby E from me (after all we've been through) had better get a cutlass to defend themselves. It's not a small matter and you have no right to declare me unfit to be a mother when you failed the first time.

Please keep us all updated to confirm you get your children back by end of August 2015. And we will let sleeping dogs lie and add our apologies to yours. It's for the children.

And we will keep supporting you till your kids come home.

Where's the best place to buy the machine, going to the LG store or a supermarket like Spar?