₦airaland Forum

Juzzybabe, I understand what you're going through. Truly, we have some similarities in our stories but I thank God for my mum and my MIL. Leave for now (beacuse if you do leave your child with them, they will continually use it against you and most likely poison your child's mind against you.) Men tend to get frustrated and start looking for who to blame (and in most cases, it is their wives that suffer). A man that told you how happy he is to have a baby, when you get pregnant and Reality comes knocking and they find themselves weak in the face of Adversity, all of a sudden, you become the Devil and it is all your fault. And at that point in time, you cannot say anything to change his mind. So leave for now. When things settle down, the honest ones will own up to their mistakes. The less honest ones will continue blaming you and will keep making their mistakes in different versions with different people, over and over again. Down to their children.

The next few months are going to be so tough, and none of us can really help you from afar. But people who have worn some parts of your shoes will hold you in prayer (and yes, please people give her financial aid so she can leave).

Leave for now. Try and leave tomorrow, don't wait until you have the money complete. Just first be able to transport yourself to your friend's place. Your parents should be contacted immediately you get there and if your husband calls on the phone (he most likely will be screaming abuse at you), please don't pick up, just send a text saying that please he should speak to your father and mother as you wish to be guided by their decisions, same with your MIL. They married you from your family, they should explain to your family why they no longer want you. Henceforth, say nothing more to anyone, don't shout, don't abuse, don't say anything to be used against you. Money will come, I promise (Angels will come to your aid, I swear it. I speak from experience). Just get out for now, secure your child.

OP you didn't try, your bribe is too readily available . I used to sign MOU until I realised they don't care (my nephews and nieces) so I resigned myself to Cbeebies, Nick Jr and Disney Jr (Mr Maker ftw!! ). My pikin and I are going to do endless hours of "Nina and the Neurons" or "Numtums". ; D

Start enjoying some anime, CN shows a lot but even better buy them awesome toys, then make up one gangster game like that, you and madam play it with much noise and fanfare but dont invite them. Trade the game for the remote controls. And whenever they fight over which channel they want to watch, "punish" them by taking the remote and watching what you want to watch till they both agree or leave the sitting room.

Works like a charm.

Btw kids of about 8 can watch CNN (my dad started us at about that age). Helps them learn new words and ask smart questions.

EgusiSoup:
I have paid the fees for the catering school but she has vowed never to go there.

I am already getting tired of the marriage. I converse more with the Maid these days and see her in my dreams.

I need help

Get one white fowl, red thread and your maid's picture, pour your wife's foundation (2 drops only) on all of them. Arrange it in your parlour that night for your wife to see.

If you survive what happens next, thank me later

I'm in the exact situation (my mum is trying to come over but her reason is the distance and she's old). My sister did it for a month when she had her son and she advised that you contact maybe a Naija kitchen or restaurant and order food in coolers. Your hubby can be warming it rather than you cooking. Other races do it (Indians sha being their mum and an aunt and pamper the new mum) and they survived.

@Thorpido, so hot water and tying doesn't work? I thought it was effective. Some Asian races do it and swear by it.

There seems to be a lot you're leaving out (but now is not the time to go into it).

Since your mum feels the same way you do, and you said your family will support you, can't a financial arrangement be made with your aunt/father to send money to you? And he can follow up by coming to Ogun state, ostensibly to see you, but in reality to speak with your relatives around you and decide the best action.
Even better, your aunt should be visiting daily. Visiting isn't the same as getting deeply involved, it just means people are watching and your in-laws cannot deny her coming to see you. Same with the friend who has offered you a place to stay.

The reason I'm urging some caution is because you've just had surgery and you need a month to rest. So far, it's been 2 weeks, an additional 2 weeks gives you rest and time to gathet funds and plan properly. And during that time, safeguard by having relatives visit almost daily (those are the people that will raise an alarm even more on your behalf should anyone take your little girl. Even as far as legal wahala).

I don't know what to say about this matter again. It seems your relatives are not in a strong position compared to your in-laws, so they're not fighting for you. I will pray for you because I can't think now what to do.

okay so you've stated you're financially down right now, so running in your condition is hard, we need to plan a strategic retreat. Where are you located and please can someone take time today to visit and claim to be "an elder one from her family who came to wish her well" (just buy small fruit as show to give her). She needs to give the impression she has people checking on her (juzzybabe, start calling your mum to come to Nigeria right now, leave all and come for a 3-day trip).

@juzzybabe it's really sad that you have to go through this, especially with your surgery (btw what is this constant stupidity Nigerians display over CS? Why would anyone in their right mind assume people will rather take a surgery than natural birth willingly??)

After surgery is not the time to be jumping like chicken, so I will ask do you have any relatives who can come get you? Can't your mum suddenly show up and say "oh my daughter had surgery and a baby, I'm here to do Omugwo or visit her for a bit, I won't stay in your house but a guesthouse close to you? "

This gives a legitimate cover to leave rather than looking like you ran away from your in-laws (justified or not, people will blame you later and say you acted unreasonably). Your mum-in-law cannot threaten you when she knows your mum is a street away from you (why hasn't your family come since to check up on you during your pregnancy?)

You need a strong relative nearby, and you're not fit to travel until you are healed, so get on the phone and scream and cry till a relative who is female and strong (your mum or elderly aunt) arrives the next day. Because right now, you're isolated and you may not have enough funds to even move, talk less of the strength.

Where in Nigeria are you, perhaps some NLers can be going to visit her daily (so as to give the appearance she has people in her life and from her family checking on her, which, if there is a nefarious plan underfoot to take the baby from her, would give caution to whoever planning it).

Don't assume your marriage is over yet,for now tell yourself "this is a bad patch and I must take steps to protect my family (hubby and baby)" but be cautious and dont keep letting yourself be isolated.

This situation should be handled with caution.

Even with all the visas, Nigerian passport is very weak. Go to Heathrow and see how much time the Nigerians on visas take at Immigration, explaining their life history (I recall them once asking a guy to even explain how he would get to his location in the UK and describe the bus routes sef) and compare it to entering the UK with any other passport from a Western country (all they ask is "how long are you here for" and stamp and release you in under 5 mins).

tearoses, when I saw this thread some hours back, I had my suspicions and hoped you wouldn't reply. Please keep up with your good work. This is the internet, do continue to speak freely. We may have different opinions but we have respect for you as another spice in the soup that is NL

Anyone can change their moniker on NL, last time checked it wasn't affliated to a govt ID it's a free world, no explanation needed

Enjoy wella! I'm trying to convince my friend let is ditch our hubbies and go to Bali or someplace else.

No fall off the side ohhhhh!!

For the OP and anyone else who is interested in Surrogacy, it has a proper system. I spoke to my OBGYN and she said the rate is about N1. 5million and there is a list of potential surrogates (she used to work for a fertility clinic in Lagos). I could pass on her contact (I am in no way affiliated to this business) and speak to her. She handled my ante-natal for months, so I'm not making this up or trying to attract scammers please.

Reference:
I don't know why people complain of charges for service not rendered. If you know the thing doesn't work simply cut it off. If I am running my power plant for 18 hours a day or have not public service for such a period constantly then I simply ask them to withdraw their services till it improves to make economic sense. I don't get the complaints. Power is PRIVATISED. Competencies and liabilities have been shared across the society. Everyone is now a stakeholder. If you can power your town, if you can't power your street, if you can't power your home, if you can't power your room, if you can't power your self but by all means stop complaining and power something.

Have you tried asking them to withdraw their services? The kind begging they will beg you, won't have part 2. Then they will refuse and take their time to actually do so.

Last week, we went to pay the bill for the most epileptic supply yet. There was no light in their office and their worker was asleep at her desk in the heat.

This week, I'm somewhere where I don't have to grab my electronics and rush to charge them before they take light and see the difference in how I think and what I can achieve. I mentioned it to the guy beside me and he replied that if NEPA provided light for 48 hours, he would cry and wonder how to feed his family. People like him and your powerful Nigerians (like Atiku, who is on the board of Directors for Mikado generator) are satisfied with the status quo.

How can Nigerians be creative and innovative, when they're still struggling to provide the basics?

@sambarry stop laughing or a coconut will grow on your back tonight!!

WordOfABendelite

Yep you should be worried that you are that tribalistic and small-minded an 8 year old's childish pronouncement got you scared. You probably "blood of Jesus"-ed all night over your child.

As for your child, children fight. it's what children do. Now if your kid said Mark had threatened to beat him up, it would be serious and a talk with his mum would be necessary.

If I were him, I would laugh and my son would learn that such comments have no power over him as a child of God. I would also tell him to say "Mark you are being silly and I won't play with you until you say sorry" and walk away. But that is how reasonable (and rare) Nigerians think.

But I'm sure you will talk to Mark's mum (because you can't help yourself and while those kids will make up and play today, you will cause more permanent wahala between you and Mark's mum, your co-worker, by insinuating her 8 year old is occultic). Don't forget to take this to your pastor in prayer, unless of course you attend Christ Embassy and go to Pastor Chris' face (he's from Edo state) to insinuate that even an Edo child is occultic because na only Edo people get legal rights to occultism in Nigeria, once you cross Ugbowo boundary into Benin proper, they will apparently indoctrinate you into juju

Yay tribalism and small-mindedness!

Now that I know how scared Nigerians are of Edo people, can I start my rampage of childish threats on NL? There are soo many people I'd love to scare with childish words

OmonileLawyer, thank you for this. Have been pushing my hubby to make a purchase of land and was interested in one I had heard of via church.

Now more cautious and will make a sensible decision thoughtfully.

i

Waterway:
@bennynaza

Look at accessbank for agricultural loan. Interest rate is 9%

Get your business plan looked at by the a trusted business planner , get a consultant to put all on paper. Approach the bank for a loan to
get the scale to grow the business.

OP this is your best option. I have done this for a company (bigger than yours) and the fact is that a consultant will have to look at all aspects of your business and advise you on what to do in order to make yourself attractive to the bank and potential private investors. i also write the proposal and get you other people ypu need. I would have done it for you but I'm not settled till next 2 weeks.

i

njokusboy:
Mind you op, before you consider taking the advice of some touts here asking you to insult your husband back, you should consider this fact, "most of ur advicers are foul mouthed women, they insult their husbands normally without him even insulting them, you are not like them, secondly, your husband may not be as docile as most of their husbands... His reaction fit set the houuse on fire, you don't put out a fire by stoking it, two wrongs don't make a right...
Tread with caution...
God bless you....

Even some men here advised her to lose her temper and insult him back. Why are you ignoring that to focus on the women?

I don't know much o, but I have a feeling trading insults with him will lead you somewhere you don't like. In your personality.

Take it from someone who was emotional and smallish as a child with 5 brothers who acted like this. Sure, I ended up realising my God-given potential to trade hot words and win but I could never stop afterwards. And of recent, it doesn't make me feel so good to think a lot of people call me behind my back "abrasive"

You're not stupid or silly. And you're not violent (if you are, then I am worse, because sweetie, from age 5 when I was close to tears of frustration while some older brother sounded like your hubby, I learnt I had great aim for throwing stuff). You're just really hurt and frustrated.

Try @tearoses advice. You don't have to beg and plead and cry, calmly and gently tell him every negative thing he says to you, he is saying to himself. He knows what he is doing and how it hurts you, and you are giving him the predictable response (beg, cry, get emotional, hit him) and it leaves him in control of the situation (whether he is right or wrong)

So stop all that, control your emotions. Don't ignore this, but don't get emotional about this, okay?

He will come to his senses the day his kids act like him and he sees this and realises you have never stooped to his level. And his shame will be great and permanent.

CATHOLIC BRIDES

if you start on time, you can make things easier.

Firstly, know this: Marriage counselling is 12 consecutive weeks and they will NOT reduce it for anyone or anything in the world. The church is dead serious about it. If you live abroad, you can do the short version of it and submit your card to the church in Nigeria. But you need 12 weeks (add more weeks if your class falls on Sundays when the church cancels class, like Palm Sunday, during Christmas and Easter and some other feast days).
Your marriage counselling tutors will be strict, if you come late they may not sign your card and make you retake that class.

Depending on the diocese you go to, their requirements for sacraments you should do before marriage are different e. g St Dominic's Yaba requires Baptism, Holy Eucharist, Confirmation to be done before Marriage. They are serious and no amount of begging will make them relent. if your spouse is not Catholic, he/she will have to take those sacraments before giving you a date. Most Lagos mainland churches are like that. The ones on the island are more understanding and will require only Baptism. So ask before you register at a parish for marriage.

You can transfer your marriage to another parish as long as you have time, but the originating parish priest may decide to not allow the transfer because of lack of one sacrament.

Your Baptismal card is of utmost importance. Go and find it now. Nothing will happen if you don't have one.

Add an additional 4 weeks for marriage Banns to be read in your parish of residence plus the parish in your village. The church will NOT wed you till they get notices back from all parishes that you are eligible for marriage. And they usually will not start Banns till after marriage class is complete. You will have to coordinate sending out an receiving the banns back from all other parishes to the one you are using for the wedding.

if your spouse is not Catholic, he/she will be required to be baptised in the church (they do recognise Anglican, Methodist and Baptist. they do not recognise Pentecostal baptism) and may have to do other sacraments. In the SE Nigeria, they are more rigid and may either give your spouse a document to sign that he/she will not encourage you or your kids to leave the church or make you take a solemn oath on a bible (before they celebrate the marriage).

You will pay to use church things like the choir and altar boys. If you're on the mainland, usually less than N10, 000. If you're on the island, expect N40, 000 upwards if it is a big parish or a parish in a nice area.

If you are wedding in a big mainland parish like St Dominic's or Holy Family, expect to have trouble getting dated (particularly during wedding season). So they may end up doing mass weddings for you and 19 other couples (I'm not making this up). The churches on the island like Church of Assumption or Our Lady of Perpetual Help won't do this to you, but you have to pay more to use them and you will have to book in advance.

If you are an expecting bride, ask if the church has any reservations (please don't hide it, they always find out). Some do and will give you specific days you can marry in their parish (some will say first Saturday of the month for expecting brides only) and may insist that you don't wear white as your wedding gown since you're pregnant. Again, the more flexible churches will not.

Please follow their dresscode (no sexy wedding gowns) as they can stop the wedding and if you come late, they will start without you or your spouse.

You can ask all these questions in your initial visit to your parish before you register to get married there.

A lot of people don't quite understand what they're getting into and it adds to their planning stress. so please read this so you have an idea. HTH

I've eaten uncooked mushrooms in salad before (it used to be my favourite thing in the world) and I've used it in sauces (though I think I overcook it

they have this bland taste that is nice. Better than Tofu (which is tasteless).

if you're buying them from a supermarket, they are generally safe.

megan1:
Congrats all.Thanks for the great job.

My wedding is this december and sometimes i feel like I'm preparing too early. i have only gotten reception venue (haven't booked yet).

i am still confused about the colours. i feel i should slow down in d planning and start properly in june as i'm thinking too often. i don't know if the feeling is common among brides

Any advise is welcome

June is late if you don't have a lot of money. You can plan your dream wedding in 1 month if money is no problem but if you want to work with a budget, start early. Also there is something known as Wedding Peak Period (April, December and around public holidays) which means a lot of wedding vendors will be booked. So start contacting them now. Depending on your church as well, marriage classes and all your requirements may need a minimum of 6 months (especially true of the Catholic church) so in order not to stress yourself, start now.

As for colours, stick with you and your groom's favourite colours. Or pick colours you both tend to like in every day items like clothing, fabric, curtains etc. Those are colours you are attracted to.

cococandy:
OP did you honestly from the depth of your heart want to be married to her till death do you part?

OP still needs a bed and somewhere to be comfortable and someone taking care of him, for now. He still wants to be using her to make himself comfortable whilst he is building his own life, then leave her eventually and he is shocked that she is not taking his nonsense. And worse, he expected all of us to support his fraud and perfidy.

You better keep up your end of the bargain, since you knew you didn't love her and were using her.

I mean, how can you say "I was looking for someone to help make my residency permanent", and "I'm not expecting us to last but to break up, but not just yet" and expect anyone to believe you didn't marry that lady because you wanted to use her? I'm glad she found out but I'm sad because somewhere there is a decent Nigerian guy who wants to marry for honest loving reasons, but guys like you make it hard for foreigners or even Naija girls with papers to trust them.

5minsmadness:
Majority of menfolk who behave like the guy in my example live to regret it.
The women take them for granted.
They start bossing the men around. This isn't theory, this is what i have seen first hand.
you can even read it in the few men that come on nairaland to complain.
Women don't like men that treat them like queens all the time, fact.

If a guy makes the mistake of asking his wife "may i have sex with you?" as a routine , he will regret it.
Before you know it sex will only come at her behest, NEVER at his.

A man who cooks and cleans and washes and does the dishes will soon find himself doing it alllll the time, the woman just sits back and becomes lazy.

I had a girl once when i was naive, I bought her flowers for valentine (not that i didnt have money but i thought roses would have a more significant meaning than any material gift, silly me ), I would carry her books to class and all the romantic stuff. Women can't stand that behavior for long. They want a man to be in control, to tell them what to do, to OWN them. This doesnt necessarily mean the man should be wicked or a slave-master, simply that being a man he should be more assertive, more confident, more steadfast and determined in what his likes and dislikes are.

I ended up handing my first love to another guy on a silver platter. she went after him because he was more assertive. he slapped her on the second week of thier dating because she made the mistake of thinking she could behave with him the way she did with me. she came to me to report but they made up the next day. they are married now with three kids.

This is the truth of the world we live in, men should stop taking examples from telemundo. Women want heroes, men they can look up to, not men who will worship them.

I beg to differ.

Had a bf once who never took me anywhere not even to the cinema, meanwhile he got delicious meals from me every date. He would pick calls from other girls whilst I was sitting on his lap. On val's day, I wrote him a love letter, got him an original copy of his favourite musician's CD, wrapped them all up with a card and delivered it to his office.

He couldn't even be bothered to send me chocolate talk less of spend the day with me. I felt like a fool that day. Of course he broke up with me for being "too clingy" then wanted me back later (he also blamed me for him breaking up with me, changing the story from "Onegai is too eager to pick my calls that's why I broke up with her" to "Onegai never picks my calls that's why we broke up".

My point is that an arsehole is an arsehole no matter what you do to them, irrespective of gender. Pigs will always pick up pearls, throw them in the mud, bite them with their snouts and discard them to eat shite.

A caring man is a wonderful man. Hubby gave me roses and I took more pics of them and worried about them lasting more than the cake or perfume he sent me.

Ralphlauren:
damiso, taking time off from work (one day to a week) to take care of a sick child is different from giving up your career entirely to raise a child.

in as much as you might get the 'stare' from your employer anytime you give 'child care' reasons for not coming to work or coming in late, trust me they understand.

the mothers they have issues with are those not pulling their weight in the workplace. if you know your onions well, the business will actually 'bend' for you.

heck! i know mothers that work few days a week (3days) and attend meetings via skype from the comfort of their homes and trust me, their input to the organisation is immeasurable.

besides, parenting is a joint effort. if the man has a more flexible job, then he has to do the school runs, attend all the PTA meetings, etc. however, some men do not want to get involved. they are happy to push their wives to ''teaching jobs'' under the guise of ''taking care of the kids'' while they flourish in their own careers which is bullocks if you ask me - after all, they had the kids together, so why cant he make sacrifices

Really good points but most of Naija corporate world won't accept it. When I worked with LASG civil service, I remember suggesting Skype meetings with clients in order to reduce the stress of them going through traffic. Office people stared at me as if I had grown another head and a tail.

I'm really worried about this about my current job sometimes can take me from home for a month or two and the environment can be stressful and late nights are a must.

Plus I didn't really wanna work after kids (so I delayed them)

@juzzybabe woohoo! well done mama!

For the rest of my pushing mums who can't sleep, try relaxing. Naija is a stressful place and recently I was under a massive load of it. So my gynae prescribed Lexotan (I didn't take it as I felt its risks outweighed its benefits and luckily she had a rethink and agreed with me, so I went on bedrest).

Hubby and I checked into some hotels in Lagos. The fact that we were not worrying about generator, light or no light, pump water to the tank and treat it, something has spoilt somewhere, what to cook, traffic etc was incredible. He and I slept well, I slept through the night for the first time in months. We went swimming (perfectly safe as it is a low-impact exercise and the breaztstroke really builds your back muscles particularly in 3rd trimester, don't swim freestyle and float and walk around in the water, just relax and let it lift you) and I slept even better that night.

We got back home yesterday and are already not sleeping well again (no light and our neighbours whom we share a meter with waited for us to go and enter traffic and pay the light bill rather than take the initiative). So we may head back (btw some hotels are doing promos, especially the business ones so you can get some rooms decently priced).

If regular se. x isn't possible try a massage down there with your fingers (I believe it's called ante-perineum massage ) it expands those muscles.

We don't really do ante-natal in Nigeria well, no doctor here had heard of sciatica when I had mine over a month ago (it's what causes bad pains in your legs and pelvis) and were quick to declare I was having premature contractions (common in first time preg) and prescribe bedrest, drip, sleeping pills and all sorts my sister got me a gym ball and taught me how to sit differently (especially when entering a car).

OTHER THINGS WE HAVE LEARNED

Half of your vendors will wake up the week of your wedding and start looking for how to disappoint you. Watch out especially for makeup,hair. Our makeup (a popular one) overbooked and couldn't figure out how to balance the bride and other clients (and since she was doing the bride a favour, decided to show her Nigerian personality and shouted at the bride that she was doing her a favour and lost her temper at the bride, the morning before the wedding. Don't worry, she promptly updated her BBM status with a Bible passage so you will know she's a good person. Very typical Naija behaviour. So we spent the day before the wedding searching for makeup artist.) This overbooking and disappointing is very common in the industry, so vendors like makeup and hair will start looking for ways to pass you off to their assistant or not show up if they get a higher-paying client, irrespective of if you booked them first (rather than realistically saying to themselves "I cannot do 4 brides in Lagos on a saturday because of traffic", na money dem go chase).

If your makeup disappoints, go to the malls where they have makeup stores and speak to them. One will be able to negotiate a new deal with you.

Your friends and well-wishers will also stress you. They will call you (at the last week before the wedding), start the conversation with "Bride oh, I hope you're not stressed", then proceed to stress you. One BM will realise she has to do her hair and show up, 30 minutes before you leave to the church and be squeezing her face that you are insisting to go to the church on time rather than be late so they can do her makeup. Other friends will realise they couldn't have been bothered to remember what day was your wedding so that week is the best time to start asking you for details others will want you too organise transport and hotel for them. Very few will offer to help. So pick your BMs carefully (my bride's chief BM was a rockstar and has become everyone's best friend because she was helping bride plan her wedding from a different continent, whilst her BMs in Nigeria were waiting to be told "please help me" and were asking her to confirm she was sorting out makeup for them).

Have Extra money on hand. All of a sudden, random expenditure will pop up during the last week. You cannot avoid it, so hold extra cash on hand and do your best to control it. Suddenly, things will break, disappointment will start and crazy will happen. Ask your trusted most helpful relative and friend to be with you to discuss those little issues and help you keep your sanity.

Plan your wedding with your Groom. Nothing brings you closer than stress and madness shared together. I have heard of couples fighting a lot from wedding planning. The groom picked out the wedding IVs and got feedback from the bride, helped us look for makeup artists and was very involved in the wedding planning. Which is much better than a lot of grooms who barely know what's going on.

Hello everyone. Wedding was a success, bride off to a small honeymoon. As per the dresses from the designer, omo, the bridesmaids' dresses were all too tight. One was adjusted a week before the wedding, the other, the BM wearing it spent the friday before the wedding telling them how to adjust her dress (they had her measurements, sewed and left no allowance and didn't know how to fix it. Luckily she sews so she started instructing them). Another BM who flew in for the wedding wore her dress on the day of the wedding and it was too tight, the zip got spoilt and we had to cut her out of the dress and find a tailor that morning. A lot of these naija designers who proudly declare they don't copy dresses and only sketch, apparently what they do is buy patterns from sewing places abroad and duplicate it, then come and declare to you that your dress is one of a kind, sketched out by them, sewn with imported fabrics. And charge you crazily for that so-called "creativity". The BM who could sew (she flew in for the wedding too) immediately knew that was what was up and once she challenged the seamstresses at the designer's store, they admitted that yes it was patterns they used. The bride also realised this, as she had met other wedding "designers" and they kept insisting on their styles and when she described what she wanted (a 1920s style), they would disappear quietly rather than take the job. Also those mass Chinese websites are hit-and-miss too. A bride told us she ordered and got a cheap-looking gown instead.

Moral of the story: buy readymade and try it on immediately. Even better,rent.

Tinyemeka:
I get scared when I see a couple going into marriage and the dude seems to be the happier partner. It's like watching the movie 'Scream'. You just know something bad is gonna happen. Dude be grinning like an Orang-utang that won the lottery and posting pics everywhere like say na campaign poster.

Nne whatever you do, never acquiesce to opening a joint account. Truss me.

Your use of language is fantastic.

@ chiefwedslolo and others,

We spoke to someone in the industry who advised us to send a text asking for the refund in 10 days' time. Which we did and I asked my uncle who's a lawyer to draft the text simply asking for the dresses and the refund. The designer replied just now that she will refund the deposit and my poor bride is now going to rent a gown, 2 days to her wedding, 6 months pregnant. Sigh.

I would certainly advise brides to buy ready-made, even though our people complain about lack of jobs and money, they behave badly when given a chance. We don't understand customer service.

I strongly believe we should use this thread as a place for referrals (though it may be abused). I know great people who do great jobs and I would like to let brides know.

Thanks guys, let me go pet my little bride

what kilo or mg is the bowl?

Thanks.

@chiefwedslolo and any other major bridal magazine and vendor on the thread, please I need your help for a friend of mine whose wedding is on Saturday and she made a huge mistake in trusting her wedding gown to a selfish, fraudulent designer in Surulere who kept making mistakes and demanded more money for things the bride requested at first (her mother is a witness to all thia). she has asked for a refund, the lady agreed to repay it immediately (so she can pay for another) only for this designer to call back in 5 minutes and say she can't repay it, she has spent the money refurbishing her shop, how dare the bride demand it of her now, the bride (who is heavily pregnant btw) is emotionally blackmailing her and dropped the phone on the bride. She seems to have also seized the bridal party's clothes (which even though there was an issue, the bride paid in full and was willing to accept them). Bride is in tears and has no money to get another gown and her wedding is on Saturday.

Please can we get your help, I can send the full details to you in pm. We need help to get the bride's deposit back so we can take her to a store and pick up something she can wear. Thanks.

Note: the designer did not mention any info about a non-refundable deposit (we feel she will make up lies now about that) and last week even threatened the bride to sell the dress and refund her (which shocked all of us) until the bride spoke to her calmly. There have been issues with the designer and the dress from first fitting, the bride being unhappy with the dress and the designer kept insisting her own friends liked the dress and the bride getting unhappier (we spent today looking for alternatives).

The size of the dress is a 12/14 and it was designed by the designer and is not a special custom style for the bride. We will mention the name of the designer if she insists on continuing with this sad show of customer service

Please help.

philips70:
You guys should keep quiet. Hon Victor Ochei is PDP but only contested elections under Accord Party in the senatorial elections. He fully worked for Ifeanyi Okowa of PDP in this governorship elections. PDP have rigged every elections in Delta state since 1999. No matter the system introduced by INEC be it electronic voting or others the PDP indomitable rigging machine in Delta state will break it. Up to the extent they organized a 3 day training workshop on methods to compromise the card readers at Asaba. All participants fully lodged in hotels. It's a shame.

Don't mind them. 2011, I knew the house of the person they took ballot papers to go and thumbprint or cancel opposition votes. PDP will always win Delta with rigging, irrespective of the smaller parties.

Before Jega read out Delta's results, I told non-deltans "I bet you it will be over 1 million". They thought I was exaggerating.