₦airaland Forum

That's how one Zenith babe took a pensioner's N4mil and gave to her boyfriend to travel with and repay before the 77-yr old found out. Unfortunately for her, the boyfriend was never heard of from again.

GTB, a friend's boss insisted he approve a loan he wasn't sure of. The borrower promptly disappeared and the poor boy was in tears whilst the boss was absolving himself of guilt. The junior worker decided to take the case to a top guy in Legal, who figured out the boss and the borrower had connived and issued a warning letter to the boss, immediately the borrower showed up the next day, with tales of "how his phone got lost, his uncle in the village died, no cause for alarm. Etc"

Union Bank, very very common cases of theft there.

Show me a Nigerian who doesn't want to get rich quick and I'll show you an honest Nigerian.

You can cook it and eat it (I know a couple who did), it's nutritious.

You can bury it and plant a tree beside it (in the past planting underneath plantain -tree symbolise protection or long-life).

Or you can burn it otherwise the witches and wizards in Africa who are waiting around the corner will get you! Those witches and demons left Western society a long time ago when they realised Westerners were willing to base their Faith on science and logic and would take responsibility for their actions and its consequences. Luckily, Africans aren't such strong thinkers or they would have been out of a job.

OP, I stopped attending all sorts of external family gatherings when a group of "aunts" from my mum's meeting chorused to me (unprepared) "Don't worry, your turn will come!"

If it's the way his family is, well you may have to get used to it. Try and study the relatives, see which of them you would have chosen as a friend if you weren't related by marriage. That's whom you talk to.

And for goodness' sake, people stop the pity party and "well-meaning comments" (they're never well-meaning, if they were, they will tactfully be quiet. Abi they mind their mouths with certain people, why not everyone?). Circulate, walk around and don't sit somewhere public. Some will still castigate you for being secretive and quiet. Lord knows I wish I were and besides, you can't use anyone's opinion to buy even tomatoes in the market. Ignore.

And for the rest of y'all "well-intentioned" folks, abeg hold ya mouths o. I had a convo with a friend, we talked about how much fun it would be when his kids come, not that I asked "so it's been some years, how far with your wife no family??". He's always been tactful and never asked me"it's been a while, how far with marriage, nobody??"

Please keep your opinions to yourselves. After all, asking after my marital or childless state is you expressing an opinion that you feel I should be doing that by now.

3D Letters

These are really cute and look nice anywhere, whether in a dorm room or a house, a baby room or your own place. They can stand on their own or be mounted on a wall.

I made these out of some old carton, handcut and hand-designed paper flowers, created my 3D letter and stuck them on carefully. It is a long process, but you can do simpler designs (I will be doing a Nautical one for a boys' room and a F1 letter for a guy).

It's not that hard to cut out your pieces, just either do some careful measuring or simply print out a stencil.

Here are some more pics of her work and a pic of her crochet needles (check out the gauges).

CROCHET

If you're familiar with knitting, then you know about crochet. Grab your crochet needles, some yarn/wool and spend some quality time doing this. There are several patterns online or you can choose to make yours.

Below is a friend's handwork. For baby gifts, she crochets a customised baby quilt or booties and a cap for her friends. It' such a lovely and thoughtful gift from her (seriously, all of us try and get pregnant because of it, lol).

You can find needles at most markets (just look for big gauges and small gauges), I much prefer Babby wool (it's thicker) and get patterns online as well as inspiration.

Hello everyone!

This is for all the DIY lovers, crafters and people interested in crafting.

PLEASE DO NOT SELL YOUR GOODS (attachments, clothes, bleaching soaps etc) ON THIS THREAD.

A place for us to discuss our latest projects, materials, create and have fun.

DIY is a nice way of decorating and making unique pieces for your home/room. It's also a great hobby (which most people don't have in Nigeria) and can be very relaxing.

toni2014:
@onegai, could you pls expantiate on d reddington issue as I'm registered there. Would love to avoid stories that touch...lol

I am not allowed to discuss the details (and it's not one case but several), but based on what I have heard from medical practioners and lawyers who handle malpractise cases, none of them like Reddington. Modath is right, the care at private is not the same as the technical expertise you get at public healthcare facilities.

Find a doctor whom you trust, it's okay to ask for referrals from your doctor (so an independent Gyno can verify what's going on). Your doctor should be able to explain very well what they are recommending for you. Ask them what they can and cannot do beforehand (in an emergency, most private hospitals transfer you to GH/govt hospitals, sometimes it is when you go into premature labour, you find out your expensive private hospital doesn't have the capability to handle such).

@Modath, your ex-neighbour sounds like one of my sisters. Her spiricoco caused her to insist on natural birth against the advice of all her doctors begging her to do CS (including my relatives, who are consultants, one a freaking surgeon!). Her church people were egging her on. The baby's heart had a hole in it, stress from birth made him simply stop breathing a few hours after birth. And she was in a good hospital in the UK o, not GH where light fit comot or they will say doctors are on strike or no blood type or one daft thing.

Now, she's all for natural birth (you recover faster) but if I need CS ( I pray I won't) and she sees me delaying, she will pull her fist back and punch me out of that bed. She has also said my hubby should limit who has access to me (physically and on the phone).

@Modath, you be pro for dis work! Abeg I'm coming to you with my questions.

GH doesn't offer CS quickly, my bro is at GH Lagos Island and his colleagues said the same thing (that hospital is mad, my bro-in-law had to punch one patient's hubby for jacking his shirt when he was there, another time my bro was almost mobbed by the patient's family/prayer warriors over this CS issue).

Go to Lagoon, Reddington or St. Nick's. Before you cry too much, epidural and CS will be offered to you sharply, because they're calculating their profits.

And please avoid Reddington if you can

afamgod:
Hello lovely mamas and papas in the house. Pls help me glorify God. My daughter arrived less than two hours ago.

Birth story uploading............................
Mek dem com comot this thing for my hand.

Omo, less than 2 hours later, you're laughing online You're strong o. Congratulations

(I'm beginning to feel very lazy)

kaffy4bill:
Gud response..the 12-18month wait is to allow the body and scar to heal well and back to normal. VBAC is so common so there's nothing to worry abt

The 18 month wait is considered but they will consider other factors too as they present during childbirth. The example I gave, she was over 18 months, they advised a CS. I just asked right now from a former HOD in LUTH. He gave me that answer, he also said he advised CS in a particular case when he noticed the hole in the baby's heart (which is common) and looked at certain factors (he felt the stress of natural birth would be hard on the baby)and CS-ed the mother (who had been insisting on natural birth). Now she's a happy mum.

OP, We can all give answers, but it truly depends on you trusting your doctor and yourself to make the best, informed decision.

sexiebecky:
Good mornin mamas,hope we ar doin fine? Pls I hv a queStion to ask concernin dis CS. How many times can a preg woman deliver 2ru CS And pls is it possible dat u can deliver natural after passin 2ru Cs in ur 1st birth. Thanks mamas

There's no exact number of limits with CS (it is a surgery so it comes with its own risks). Yes you can deliver natural after CS.

While in the UK, my sister's baby went into distress and he had to be CS-ed out. For her 2nd child, she wanted Natural birth but the doctors advised CS due to certain factors.

Fear of CS in Nigeria is because Nigeria has very poor Healthcare facilities so even small surgery that is minor and you should leave the hospital that same day becomes a death-defying situation. In the US, women even opt for CS and inducement so they can schedule their childbirth in a convenient manner. As you're entering the hospital in labour, they will offer you Epidural sef (before you even start crying too much). Now they're trying to encourage more natural birth though.

Nothing wrong with it. Put it on a nice channel with good learning programs (CBBC or Nick Jr), keep her a bit far away from the tv and keep the sound not too high.

Give her breaks away from the tv, interact with her by reading her books (with lots of colours and pictures). Lots of games exist for that age, as long as it is bright and colouful and makes noise (and gives parents a headache , kids like it)

Take her out once in a while, let her start identifying animals.

sayoberry:
Beedam u see my case is a bit different. Even though I'm trusting God for a miracle. The way my babies are positioned are in such a way that even if twin A turns to be head down, twinB may not get a chance to do so cos of the space. If there's anything I dread most in my life its a c-section. There's nothing as good as pushing out Ur babies and jumping on Ur feet. I'm 31+4 and I have four weeks for this babies to turn or I'm scheduled for a c-section.though here in america no one sees it as a big deal. In fact some of them ask for it. But I'm just an hyperactive someone that can't bear staying in bed groaning in pain, been careful of stitches not tearing and bla bla. No one can preach to me that a c.s is better than normal. I've been a bit depressed but Gods wish for me is the best. Till week 35 when I take another scan.. (If my water does not break one night) I'll pray hard.

Sayoberry, in Nigeria, most doctors would CS twins without even asking or offering natural birth as an option. I hear in the UK, if it's your first birth you have no option but to go to the hospital (where they will either allow natural or CS, depending on your case). Depending on what hopsital you are, even a Birthing centre will insist on having a doctor on standby and be ready to transfer you to the Theatre. And I'll share what my sister said to the rest of us (she had a baby with a heart defect and insisted on natural birth against her OBGYN's advice. It wasn't a happy story): "A mum is a mum, it doesn't matter how the baby comes out, your job is to make sure that baby is safe and healthy that's it. There is no prize for either method, no-one cares". I understand the fear of CS but imagine holding your babies afterward (or not sleeping through the night because they're crying that's the important thought to hold in your head.

Btw, what state are you? I'm heading over to the states in April for a long stay

UGLYS:
Who destroyed your sense of humor to a harmles post?

The lady aint reporting to no one.

Thank you for having a sense of humour and some chivalry. This is why one should avoid random people on NL, like in real life where one ignores the aggressive person in the room and looks for the fun people to hang out with.

Misblah:
Archaic means old or antique
Laxity means ermmm *gimme a min*
Axiomatic means...an axiom is a saying that does nt require proof so an axiomatic should mean smtin close to that.
Gullible means quick to believe. mostly used as an adjective
prattle...should be an onomatopoeic word. dunno d meaning.
*Aisha oya bring that dictionary*

Prattle means mindless chatter that goes on and on. Think of lots of children talking together about nothing in particular or women aimlessly gisting about nothing in particular. Feel free to use it to describe any thread on NL about Tonto Dikeh henceforth: Mindless Prattle

Onomatopoeic words are words that describe a sound e.g meow, honk honk, ding dong, boom, bang-bang (for guns, not the male type!) So the snake went "hissss" at the girl's bare ankles, is a good example of Onomaetopeia.

MissMeiya:
The funny thing is, the scenario we described totally happens somewhere in Lagos, I'VE SEEN IT ON INSTAGRAM

Lol I just try to not notice these days.

Forreals? Bet they all had faux-british accents and no learning. I've met their type before, the more the fake accent, the less they actually know. Sometimes to mess them up, I would randomly bring up one daft discussion they can't keep up with e.g. The Signing of the Magna Carta, Settlement of the Europeans into South America, Mining practises and the Potato Blight of Ireland, Ancient Bedding customs of the Benue people and Reincarnation beliefs amongst the Ika of Delta. Watching their eyes glaze over because they had ZERO idea about what I was talking about, priceless

Ah, the good old days....

MrHardOn:
Tiddlywinks

hey, stop stealing my signature. I'll have you up before the mods for Appropriating my signature!

MissMeiya:
Omg you're hilarious! We have to listen to Highlife, or something equally retro and hipster. Or something classical and really pretentious like opera. YES!

LET'S DO THIS!

btw,

Flummoxed

That's how I feel about some of the responses on this thread....

I'll never forget my first year of Uni, everyone was clowning around in the car park and I was laughing at their antics. I remember saying

"You guys are so GAY today"

Silence...you couldn hear a pin drop, then echo, all over the car park.

I had to explain that "Gay" was a word that meant Happy and Lively.

Chynx:
Fjord.

Go to Norway, my lad...

MissMeiya:
That would be SO MUCH FUN

Seriously, one jobless day like that, some of us from NL will gather. You can quote poetry (to sound even more obnoxious, make it Byron or Browning, throw in some JP Clark for African flavour) and I will discuss 18th century Versailles, palace life and any similarities to 18th century Benin palace life. Others will play Chess and Scrabble and expound on all sorts of theories. And we will drink tea and have scones (do they have that in Nigeria??) and do all of this in a loud manner.

Massive points if all the guys who attend wear cravats or bowties and the women gloves

God knows what the average Nigerian will think is happening...

MissMeiya:
Tintinnabulation

This is my favorite word. Very onomatopoeic.

"Haha" I cried out

How marvellous. We must (a select few) meet up somewhere from Nairaland and make up a convival party.

Joshuadon:
Sobriquet
Moniker
Appellation

Clever way of saying Names and I'll raise you one:

Onomaetopeia

Faustian

Utopia

Agrarian

Spurious

Complaisance

Discourse

Stupid!! Arrrghhh!!

So our budget is planned on a benchmark that is not attainable right now, the govt is shouting "Austerity" without refusing to curtail corruption and reduce the size of our over-bloated government workers and agencies, independent marketers have bought fuel for N95.50 and this guy announces a reduction now

To win a election??

When we need money and strong implementation of good fiscal policy, this is his answer??

You may think this won't affect you. You do realise Unemployment is worsening,Naira's value is falling right??

Abegi, I'm leaving the poor and going to get a PA to a Special Advisor to some blah blah job in Govt. You guys keep sleeping here, the private sector that belongs to Nigerians is dying slowly.

lioha:
All of a sudden my LO @beat stopped at 25 weeks and there was nothing I could do. For the little time i spent with him, my joy was countless. But God knows the best RIP.

Mama's thanks for your wonderful advices and suggestions, you are one in a million God bless you all.

I am so so sorry. Your LO was very brave and you, his mum, even braver. He's gone somewhere wonderful and God will comfort you with another special angel soon.

MGeey:
I didn't really feel anything until yesterday morning when I woke up with mild headache and fever.

Take Kaffy4bill's advice but please get another opinion with another doctor (the first one who prescribed Artesunate without a test sounds worrying). I too was treated for Malaria and given antibiotics in my first trimester. They ran a blood test to be sure and gave me Chloroquine and the rest of my drugs were safe for pregnancy. I know we all get scared of drugs during pregnancy but the side effects of not treating malaria are really bad on your baby. It sounds like you're not absolutely sure of your doctor (hence you ran a test by yourself), so maybe look for a hospital around your area with good feedback from a lot of mums and get a second opinion.

modath:
So counting now, july mamas are myself,Kaffy, proudmom and......

I think I'm a July mama (the doctor isn't sure, as I'm either end of June/first week of July), but EDD is July for now.

Eye Service is encouraged in Nigeria. Before I got hitched, I kept complaining to my male friends why I wasn't getting dates. They all advised me to "not sound so smart, dress sexier, join a pentecostal church and join one of their depts to become more social, stop talking about my really weird-for-Nigeria tastes etc". I was confused, I wasn't a party girl or anything yet they kept encouraging all sorts of Hypocrisy on my part. So I gave it a try and omo, it worked. Luckily for me, I couldn't keep it up and went back to liking all the stuff I liked. And because of those weird-for-Nigeria tastes, I got married to someone who also had weird-for-Nigeria tastes. So eye-service starts in dating and then causes wahala in marriage.

The first time hubby saw me industriously sweeping his kitchen (whilst dating) he said in his mind he hissed and wondered who I was doing eye-service for Now he knows I'm better at making Egusi soup, washing the bath tub and cleaning the cooker, I know he can cook Ogbono soup better, sweep and sort out the laundry. He told me not to be kneeling down too much for MIL and I told him to touch knee for Maman when he sees my mum.

We cool

haemi:
Good morning wonderful mamas. thank you for showing me love. They couldn't save the baby. I had to be induced and delivered him prematurely. It was a painful sad experience, but I know God knows best. I have the faith that very soon in sha Allah, I'll be amongst the pregnant mamas on this thread again. It shall be well.

God may have taken this angel back, but He will send you another one in the appointed time. Please get some rest and try and find things to take your mind off it.

bushdoc9919:
Which is a foreign school built in Nigeria....note that he won't send his son to Kubwa Primary school!

Again....not GEJ's fault...every parent has the right to send his kids to whichever school.(I know of one guy from a poor home whose parents suffered to send him to a prestigious private school.)....but then again, his govt needs to make the hard choices in improving educaiton in Nigeria....by improving funding for primary schools....via removing the fuel subsidy and making unis private...and using the savings to improve primary and secondary education.

Simples.

Lai lai. That system won't work in Nigeria, our mentality is not the same. The average Nigerian runs Educational institutions for money, they think building a fine building and putting computers is achievement. They don't care about the quality of minds teaching inside it. Most Nigerians are very suspicious of learned intellectual folks and appreciate people who use foreign accent to speak to them as "intellectual".

Let Primary and Secondary be govt-funded. Then 5 Universities and 5 Federal Schools of Technology be heavily govt-funded and invested with the best brains. Anyone who wants to work for NNPC will have to go to those Fed Unis. Any company that wants massive contracts from govt fund visiting lecturers from their countries to teach there (particularly if it's Sciences). So we have Engineers who actually can catch up international and Technicians who can compete with their foreign peers.

It's not about how much he spends, it's the fact that the man who is telling me to vote for him doesn't suffer like the masses and send his children to Nigerian Universities. How can he understand the rot in our Education system when his own kids are getting better elsewhere. Let him send his kids to Convenant or Babcock or University of Abuja, then he gets my vote.

GEJ, Buhari, neither impresses . I'm not wasting energy to vote in February.