₦airaland Forum

tunjijones:
U dey craze.

She is a thief and a cheat so no amount of insult is too much for her.

And FYI, she is an adult.

All I see in your post is savagery and no sense.

Rexie96:
My woman is.. thatz why i steadily give her infevtion and treat myself right away...

She is sometimes a devil in human form.. put me through hell on earth , almost losing my sanity, lost business oppurtunities and many more.. best purnshment is watvhing her battle infections..

You're actually the narcissist. Doing horrible stuff like secretly and deliberately infecting someone. I hope she escapes you. Since you can't just leave her alone.

That aside. This thread is eye opening. So these are the characteristics of a narcissist. It's true actually.

If they can make transgender people this fine, then there should be plenty hope for natural born women.

I don't like how grown old men took to TV to keep heaping terrible insults on her. It was too much. While doing it, they kept referring to the fact that she's 19 and an adult because people get married at that age, as if trying to justify how hard they were going on her.

I feel it was too much, I feel they were too harsh, if indeed they want to be professional, they can do so without heaping so many direct and indirect insults on her. They heaped it on worse than they would have done to a 35 year old corrupt criminal or politician. They had no thought for her psychological state. Even if a younger person has done things, there is juvenile prison for them, my point is that their youth is taken into consideration. Maybe she did wrong but they were too harsh on her.

I was appalled at why these old men kept digging at her on TV like she was their mate in a boxing match. They went for the throats of those who supported her too. Heaping the insults higher and higher. It was too much coming from these supposed elders. She did wrong and it has gone round town. Is your wisdom as an elder now to dismantle her completely with verbal attacks? You want to kill her completely or what. It was overkill, they acted like bullies, it was insensitive to a youth who could be reformed, it was highly unnecessary, unprofessional and cruel.

I don't want to know who they were, they acted like uncontrollable brutes on TV. Come on, she's just a young girl.

Candidlady:


Your God who you believed would cure your impotency why not pray to him to change your kids DNA

You had such condition and you chose not to tell your wife.. wicked thing

Anyways


Idont believe anything iread on here again.. anything from your gender nothing but pure lies

Exactly he is a wicked thing. He married her knowing his condition fully and he refused to tell her the secret. Now he's irritated by the 'hypocrite' and her kids. Pot calling the kettle black.

achimendy:
Exactly.


Dem wan enjoy but dem no wan suffer.

Why is it that you guys definition of love is for the poor woman to suffer and suffer...before you know she loves you? It is odd to me. I have never thought about a person I love, and thought happily about how the person will suffer for me. Or fantasized about how the person should be happy to suffer for me. No, what I think about is how to make the person's life easier. Also, if someone I love is suffering for me and angry about it, I will feel guilty and bad. I won't label the person a gold digger, or wicked. I will try to make the persons life easier.

Why don't many men sit with so called unattractive women, and agree to endure, that they will wait until she becomes beautiful to their liking. Out of love. Because this is the equivalent of a woman looking for wealth and security with a man. Men never take below their standard, and if they do, the woman must receive I'll treatment or insult for that. So why are you guys always expecting women to look the other way?

Well, it must be because men do believe they have rights to more than women.

achimendy:
There's nothing right about that decision. You talked about rent, do you pay rent every day?? The rent pattern here in Nigeria is yearly, and two months salary is enough to get you good accommodation, depend on the state though.

Nobody wants to live in poverty, and also not allowing him to get you pregnant wont still change the family situation, that's why as couples you must join hands together, come up with rich financial idea that will turn your family financial situation around, that's what sensitive women do, not to sit there and say I won't get pregnant if he earns 100k

100k cannot pay rent in two months. Won't you transport yourself, eat, bathe and wash clothes? What will happen is that such an income earner will struggle to pay rent.

You talk of sensitive women. Are men sensitive when making their choices of women? Money can even be earned, but can a woman of average looks easily make herself to be naturally beautiful and curvy? No, but that's the harsh method you guys use to pick women. At times you won't even treat average looking women like they are human beings. But it's your turn now and you want females to be sensitive about what you may lack.

Finally, even on the case of working together, it can be done. But two people earning little pay can not magically make bills easy to bear. They and their child/children may suffer for some time first. Which is where the man will start blaming the woman for his misfortunes.

sonofthunder:
Spot on.... I actually asked the question to find out where you stand on the feminist/wokeness line.... I hope I can be forgiven. Also, if the #100k is not for eating out but for providing foodstuffs at home, the woman should have change for transport and few other stuff.

That asides, I believe this argument focuses on those who are caught up in the rat race of city live. There are several smaller towns whereby such amounts will be sufficient without the woman's input and we regularly expect income to increase.

The opportunities for such income in these less expensive towns are smaller though but then they exist and some people manage to get a hold of one.

I guess there's always an exception to every rule.

Another point/question I was trying to bring out earlier is what If the man has high earning skills or graduated from a program that is well sought after, is that sufficient for a commitment or he should wait to actually enter such opportunity?

I would advice any male I mean well for, to get his opportunity before commitment. For his own sanity.

kernniejay:
150k for house rent daily or weekly or what?

For the year. That's on a low budget house.

sonofthunder:
Okay... Quite reasonable but what's your angle? Should both parties contribute? At what percentage?

Should it be solely the man's responsibility?

Personally I feel there are better markers to look out for when we seek out financial security in relationships. Wealth do sometimes fly away I'm sure you know.

It is not solely the man's responsibility. However, with all the bills hanging around, if a man wants to be comfortable enough to care for himself, while caring for his family, that 200k should be the mark.

Okay let's say wife earns 100k. It will finish on house food and the baby, for the month. If she uses all that money, she is left with nothing to save. What about transport, what about herself? It's not enough for her to be earning 100k while hubby earns 150. Both of them will still be strained.

Imagine if he earns like 150k.

Gives 50k to wife monthly as contribution for house supplies. He will use some for transport. That's at least thirty thousand. He will still add for that baby or babies. What of his parents, even if he leaves wife's parents. What of extra for expenses he didn't plan for? As the baby grows, he or she needs other things that will come with their own cost.

This man may be left looking ragged and not enjoying his life. Well

todugo:
How much is she contributing financially to the families bills.
When it comes to opportunities the feminine gender claims equality, but when it gets to responsiblity they will all shy away.

No problem, I won't dispute this. However, my post even favors men more. Men will do themselves big favors if they prepare for such expenses before marriage. Less stress for them.

But if men want to believe in the fairytale that it will be easy with less than the 200k, no problem. We go jam head when we reach there. I sha no get money to borrow anyone for emergency by that time.

sonofthunder:
What's your choice.


How much is sufficient to start raising a family?

200k and above.

Dimaya:
It's 200K monthly. How much does the average Nigerian earn?

Okay, I know the average Nigerian earns little, but can you explain this to a baby born or unborn? Or the staff at a hospital before delivery, or won't she give birth in a hospital? How does the man want to by pass all the things the baby needs, unless he means to neglect that baby.

Toh, it is possible to do with less, but do you realize that having a baby on less means running from pillar to post looking for funds up and down? Well, there's no problem. They can do delivery at home, scrape money for antenatal and all other pregnancy complications. Buy two shawls and baby things at any trader's store in the market. Also feed baby pap when the baby is ready for food to reduce cost. Cloth nappies, and second hand clothes as baby is growing.

Shikena.

Shege... With just a pinch of sapa...

It's not supposed to be so, but that's what people believe in. Like the less attractive people are not human beings too.

Bukola94:
A man said in a thread that is girl is good but the girl family are so toxic. What will be your advice for him,is like the man in question wants to wife the girl. Just that her family is toxic

He can leave or if his authority as a man can help him put his foot down and show them what he won't take, that's fine.

They should make a happy boys movie about all this, with someone like A.Y. Then they can gain more popularity and all that.

I am just afraid because, the fact that we are reading about this from afar today, doesn't mean it cannot affect us tomorrow (God forbid). Is there no religious court or something to be done to reduce these attacks on people? I fear because those being killed are people's children, and tomorrow I hope it won't be one of our children.

Sapa×20 mixed with shege.

I love this topic because it addresses something I really hate. Nigerians love to take advantage of meek people too much.

Majority of people act razz and crazy, and if you don't act like them, they believe something is wrong with you.

kaboninc:
I could show you my son. And I repeat, it doesn't cost much to feed a child and keep that child healthy and nourished.

Sorry, where in Nigeria do you live?

Can I ask what brand of food you bought monthly in the early months and how many packs per month?

How much was the cost of delivery?

Immunization cost or were you on insurance (like me)?

Is the mother contributing to the welfare of the child?

Cost of registering for antenatal?

Cost of your baby's oil, cream, soap per month.

Just list monthly expenses and grade them, drop here.

Please I don't mean to be rude, hope you don't misunderstand me. I'm just curious, honestly.

Let me add. Shey na second hand cloth una wan buy for your children, this one that you're saying a baby is low cost? Is that the legacy you are planning for kids that haven't even been born, right?

No plans for baby cot, you plan for the mama to spread wrapper on the floor right? You won't buy flask for keeping baby food, or few baby toys? You won't buy pampers, you're planning that the mother should wear her hands out washing re-washable nappies and such?

You people are wicked o. That's the plan for your beloved mother and baby. You want them to suffer while you continue to earn 'let my people go' salary. You self no go enjoy that kind life.

Any way if you want to struggle like that, who am I to say no

kaboninc:
It doesnt really cost that much to feed a baby. The most important fear is medical emergency.

I feed a baby. It costs much if you want a healthy, well fed, good looking baby.

Men shouldn't decieve themselves. By the time a man sees his baby looking thin and 'just there' while his friends kids are looking plump and pretty, he will start to blame the mother. Forgetting that he is the one who insisted on feeding the baby on small pay.

Last last we both know where all these pretences will end. Side chick with a good job to produce and care for a fine plump baby. Or a second wife, for whom you guys will end up bringing out that same money you didn't want to spend before.

Instead of admitting their mistakes, men will start a second family with a woman and kids who will look good because he spends better on them. Why not gather that money now and spend on this first wife and family. So you won't start having greed for a better looking family when your baby is looking bad due to not being catered for properly...

Dimaya:
How many Nigerian men earn over 200K monthly?

Direct answer: I don't know.

What I do know, however, is the cost of baby food. I know the cost of pampers. I know the things a baby needs.

If y'all are fine running from pillar to post to feed the baby, fine raising your baby on pap and water, if you want to feed your baby agbo when sick and you want constant quarrel based on how hard you're working to barely feed, continue.

Na same una go hear am. Since you want to earn 100k and have three babies on your neck.

Bukola94:
u are so right, in some cases in_ laws & the mother inlaw maybe giving the wives problems. Serious problems, like nothing that she does for them that they appreciate

Yeah and no one wants to admit that they have bad behaviors. Some convince their sons that the wife is a stranger, convince him to take sides and not be private, personal or respectful towards the wife. What's meant to be a family is a power play and a fighting ground to them. Often, the nuclear family doesn't hold much value to in laws. They want the wife to slave for them, they want good, beautiful and healthy kids from the union, they want plenty respect and pampering.

But you see the one benefit they would leave for the wife, having respect, standing in her own home and a special relationship with her husband, that one thing pains them to give that woman. To them its better she should be happy being a nobody in the husband's house. Then when her own son grows, she can go and be a small god in his house too, terrorizing the wife and low key being a creepy substitute wife to her own son. The circle continues.

okomile:
And the mother insults the wife nko?

Anyways, mine insulted me and she is on my black book.

I dont tolerate rubbish
Hubby takes her side.
Who cares?

So sorry, they don't want to acknowledge that some in laws are the problem, they are troublesome.

pussyphilia:
Some of you don't know that some men actually love seeing their wives bleeped by other men. It gives them some great dope feeling! The husband in the op might just be a cuckold who wanna have his fun

Civilization is revolutionizing sexuality!!!

Welcome to the jet age!¡!!!!!!!

I am not deceived.

SeaTrade:
Who says you have to ignore your mother?
Remember,you're only playing a game and most likely your mom should be in on it.
Life's a stage,learn how to act!

Exactly what I'm trying to say.