₦airaland Forum

BanyXchi:
Don't generalize us, how many Yoruba men do you know? Idk a single Yoruba that loves ibo with passion though some in Lagos might like them because they hook up with them and are promiscuous.

Well that's my observation in areas and environments close to me. I'm not speaking for everyone.

SultanOfPuna:
Yoruba men love Igbo women so much
They fantasize about fine Igbo Angels. Igbo girls beauty is extraordinary.

No be juju...
Her husband see better fine Igbo woman wey Sabi cook sweet food come get sweet pussy join.

Yoruba women need to level up
No be juju.. igbo women are goddesses

I don't agree with everything here, but one fact is solid:

Yoruba men do love Igbo women. They love Igbo women with passion. They are obsessed with them. No offence, but those that especially want runs dealings and such, want nothing but Igbo girls. It's all around us. Embarrassingly, glaringly evident.

otherway:
I was molested so much as a child that I know get turned on by a dominitrix.

Infact I can head a lady for hours non stop just because of my childhood molestation

So sorry about what you're going through. You should see a psychologist. You need to heal.

CuriousStudent:
No one will admit it That child abuse in form of beating and coporal punishment has effectd on them. The passive aggression is something ruining everyone. The misogyny and the rest traces back to something. When violence is the only way of living,it traces back to abuse. Some people rarely use the magic word. Vulgar,swearing,slamming doors,banging tables,raising voices. Some(like myself) are conflict avoidant and ghost others as a means of survival/protecting our feelings instead of communication.

Comparing you to your siblings that do better. Parading you in the school for pooing on your body. And the rest. Belittling you or scolding you in public to prove to others that they are a disciplinarian or manipulation of everything about you just so your parents will not embarrassed in public.

I don't want to talk of boarding school. One girl almost sent me to my creator because the guy she liked was hitting on me.

But no,"beating made me who I am" . Who are you? If I may ask. A third world unattractive low earning hypocrite . Who are you? Some dirty misogynist dealing with scabbies and body odour and broke and still eating from mother pot or living in Shanties and squalors with mattress on the floor.

Or the hook up girls were not flogged?

Okay,I guess who you are is something great.you are not gay/lesbian,so that makes you "better"

[b] modified
I recall an accident that made me realize most Nigerians are mentally unstable. I went to a restaurant with a coursemate to eat. He was frowning at some point and I inquired if all was well. Then he said ,"just look at them,they can will never cook but will be coming outside to eat. All these irresponsible girls". I asked if he was alright and he was like, "I just feel irritated when I see a lady eating outside when she should be cooking".
Till today I struggle to come to terms with the fact that instead of eating your food in peace,and walking out,you will devote your time to evaluating and noticing others.
The guy was "disturbed". Him and many others hold very strong opinions and expectations of others that owe them nothing and are quietly living their lives because someone must have subjected them to some high subjective standard. The cycle repeats itself

Your post is just perfect. Said so many things I can relate to.

1stGenAmerican:
I believe you. Words are more powerful than beatings and your grandad probably earned the respect of his children by respecting their feelings as children while still maintaining that he was the adult and had all the power in the home. His children became good people because their father treated them like they were good people, not like they were hated and unwanted burdens.
Children should respect their parents, not live in fear of them.

True. This country. If you're not violent or impatient or toxic, then they believe you are a dunce. May God help us.

My grandfather never beat my father and his siblings. Grandad was always remembered to be a very loving father. He treated his sons like eggs and he was a full Nigerian that never left the country. They never became bad people. Africans just find excuses to be violent.

Dignity doesn't mean anything in this life except when people decide to make an issue out of it due to their own sentiments.

A woman can stay with you through hard times, yet she will not reap what she sowed. She might even be helpful, faithful, but at the end of the day either she won't marry you, or she won't enter that house on a good note. Or you marry her and have a side chick. There's no guarantee that if she stays with you things will be good.

Is it not your same gender that will cross over to sugar babies to enjoy life after making it? Abegi...the narrative that a good girl is one who stays is worn out. This life is left and right, up and down, nothing guarantees anything. Maybe it's even that her callous character that will make you marry her.

It's not easy but you have to keep trying. The guy that started KFC was already very old before his business blew up and he became a millionaire. Many are hitting wealth in their fifties. Think of important positions men are only getting into from the age of fifty and upwards.

You can still make it and surprise everyone. Your story will be a big inspiration. But you need to get up and be practical.

For now, start from cleaning up your environment. Clean living area, clean clothes. Sit down and list options you have. Find a real life responsible person to get you a job no matter how small. Cheers!

advanceDNA:
I am also saying it goes both ways... just like some men use women for only sex.....Some women also use guys for sex and gain.....

Okay, point taken.

advanceDNA:
So are u trying to paint ur gender saints and victims here ?? Lol

A married or single woman sleeping with many guys is just having fun and exploiting the guys for pleasure and other enjoyment....so dont make ur gender the victim here...every one is using who is available for their gain..both men and women

I didn't call anyone a saint. Just pointing out the mindset of men whom women think are their romance partners. Women enter these things with plenty feelings, deep romantic feelings are part of their reasons. I'm just pointing out that the men they are doing it with don't harbour any such mutual feelings. The men in it with them are their enemies, they are rating them, disgusted by them and wish to expose them. So if any lady wants to cheat, she should know that the man she's doing it with is certainly NOT in love with her.

Ah...I like Nairaland.

It shows the true nature of genders.

Ladies, you see what their intentions truly are? You see what they really see us as after going on irresponsible adventures with any one of us? They may be full of romantic words, but their heads are screwed on straight. They are calculating creatures to the core, and they judge everything done with them. There's no romance in the whole thing for them. The woman is the only one in a haze of love or infatuation.

Now you guys will remember that this man is a human being. When you see a fat or older lady marrying a guy, the Antichrist within you will awaken.

kestolove95:
Wis is the pre-wedding pics coz all am seeing there it's pics of mama nd pikin

This is very crude please. How is she his mama, because she is fat? What's wrong with you guys? But a 40 year old man is still a small boy right? If a woman has a wrinkle or is fat she has suddenly become a great grandma. You guys should stop this please. Its grossly unfair!

Stop this shi.t abeg

Fredfr33zy:
If everyone is jumping off a high cliff will you do it, because everyone is doing it?
It can be likened to a Yahoo boy blaming the government for his act.

Yes, but my perspective is also true and also relevant.

Fredfr33zy:
Story story, women are carried away with what they see, when they see a guy doing very well from his pictures, fresh, clean and handsome they drop all their moral compass down. A woman can date a guy for 1 year and he wouldn't see her pant, but she can have sex with another guy she meets the same day. Is all about attraction (whatever the reason is)

True, but I'm still right.

Men are the ones that press and insist on meeting a new lady friend in their homes even when she is also a stranger to them. They insist, claiming the woman can trust them. If the woman refuses, and states reasons, they would claim she is paranoid, she is having a very bad negative look on them, she is a hypocrite, judgemental. A good number of men, even the good ones, will drop a lady simply because she refuses to meet up at the man's house. Many women are pressured into it through manipulations, they don't just go there like that.

But the truth is this, they wouldn't easily do this to a woman whom they have good intentions for, who they respect, who they believe has standards. So, as a lady, choose more of those who are not eager to pull you into such situations.

kkins25:
The girl is the one agreeing to go on the date. Therefore the responsibility of her safety rests solely on her.

1) If you go on a date to a public and safe space, you cannot be sexually taken advantage of. My "bestie" fell for this trap and paid the price. Although I didn't scorn her for it. She was dealing with someone who had power over her, since, he was her lecturer after all.

2) Choose the venue. The venue should be where you're familiar with and probably have a friend or family member follow you undercover.

3) Never go on a date with someone whose background is oblivious to you. Thank God for social media. Check their friends list, their kinds of posts, etc.

4) Connect with several acquaintances of the guy. Have pictures of him(A must).

5) If you cannot find anything about the guy online, then abandon date. Simple!

Your friend fell into the lecturers trap because she had no one escorting her. Even if you had tailed her, you would've gotten her out of that situation.

Not every girl can survive the wiles of guys, same for guys. Responsible escorts will keep conversation and actions at a reasonable level.

Let's not act like girls are so so smart that they can always handle everything alone. Millions of smart people get scammed every day. Men get scammed. Millionaires get scammed. Coups happen in powerful governments. Nobody is too smart for help and protection.

Fredoh:


Another perspective!!
We see life through our own lenses!!

I on the other hand think that women use relationship to get money from men, to the point of asking their boyfriends to do what they can’t ask their fathers.

To be honest, it’s a combination of both. Life is not a straight line graph!

That's true in so many cases, so why not go for the method I stated, so nobody will be scammed. With that method, no woman will ask outrageous things. You would be dealing with the family already, so you know what you are spending on and why, worst case scenario your money will be returned to you by the dignified family.

But you guys won't agree because a lot of you want plenty premarital sex without any marital plans, which is off the rules, but you still want the girl to be a very good girl that won't ask you for anything. Talk about eating your cake and having it.

Whether you are male or female, any so called bestie is your rival, your fellow wife or husband. Let us know the breakfast before it is served.

Just avoid trouble and get rid of this. They should have anticipated the risks.

kkins25:
I like you! Are you insinuating that I approach your father without having to deal with you in person first? Your father has the first and final say?

With dating, you have option to choose. With our olden days method, all i had to do was impress your daddy with many tubers of yam. If we check the timeline, it seems women are doing way better than before. Go to somalia where some women have their vaginas sewed until marriage. E go shock you!

Here is the process I support. I don't support oppression of women. I support going to the family first. The family then asks the girl if she likes him and wants a brief courtship before marriage. If girl agrees, then the lady and man go on a few dates. On those few dates, ranging from a few months to a year, they will both always be accompanied by a family member or more. The dates must hold in safe public spaces. They will not be let totally out of sight, so that the man does not take advantage of the woman sexually. Within that time, family dates will also enter. Let the two families go out and see if they gel on some joint family outings.

If all goes well, then marriage will be set. The observation period, decently arranged by both families, should normally not exceed a year. If both parties agree, marriage happens. No one loses.

PoliteActivist:
Well said.
So r u a supermodel?😎

*snort*

I wish I was, but I am not.

whippersnapper:
despite the fact islam abhors premarital relationship it helps in getting to know your partner better before going the nuptial way, red flags, ailments, sexual compatibility, secrets and all. I cannot meet you today because i love you then plan to marry you tomorrow. maybe thats why there are so many divorce cases among them

Eh, then in the dating, sex will enter. Then the man will have the upper hand as the woman is emotionally tied. Is that not it?! Then after eating to his fill, the man will STILL be 'contemplating' whether he wants the lady or not, right? Treating her anyhow, she has no pride or power, she has to wait until our lordship deems it fit if he wants her or not, despite having a good use of her body. Then pregnancy and abortions or a hurried marriage, all indignities on the woman, enter.

See, that dating is only profitable to men. They can use every trick to manipulate women. They can treat the lady and her family any which way after impregnating her. They can use so many women and get so drunk on sex that they come out here to call them names. It made women so available, so easy and cheap for them. Why won't men call women whores when they don't have to work for them? They don't have to be on their best behavior, till their father in law's land or anything. All they have to do is to be visiting eateries and romantic spots with her. Afterwards sleep with her, then start calling shots on the emotionally bound woman. No wonder many men have ditched marriage! No wonder women are valueless, begging these irresponsible men up and down for marriage, accepting anything just to be married! Because dating has made women so plentiful and easy for men.

Dating is only an avenue to use and abuse women to stupor.

Why should they engage in it? So they can fall for the same snares and misfortunes involved, and the same men would still insult them for it?

The result speaks volumes, after refraining from premarital relationships, at least they are more respected.

I love her look!

Johnnyposh:
I swear to God,I’m a 26 years old guy,and this is what is happening right now In my marriage,my wife is 25 years and I got married to her in 2021 cos I impregnated her,the bastard ex did not call her when she was still in pregnancy o,I think the guy is her current boyfriend before she met me after she finished school but they were still dating before she met me and she told me that she is not dating him anymore cos it was back in her school times and she finished school in 2019 and the school is in Ijebu ode while her parent house is in Ota here in Ogun state,the worst past is that I was forced to do court wedding with her by her mom and I did cos of the love I have for her.
Now the bastard ex did not call her through her 9 months in pregnancy o,immediately she delivered like this,they start to talk on phone again,we fight like crazy as in like crazy that I don’t want all this shit,you are married and if you know you still want to be with him you should just go back to him,I’ve packed her things out more than 6 times since we got married cos of this bastard ex,I reported her to her mom we fought and fought every time because of this guy,I changed her SIM cards,I deleted her social accounts and imagine after few months she got the guys number back,I don’t know how but I checked her phone and she has renamed the guys name to another name and all the call logs it’s when I’m not at home,during my work days that’s when they will talk before I get back home,I was hurt again and tired,we fought again and pack her things so she can go back to the guy,her family begged me and we settled again,I changed her phone and after few months again,she has renamed it to another name lol,I get to know cos I have been noticing her in the house,hiding of phone while chatting and other stuffs,I just collected her phone and she did not know that I have saved that guy number on my phone since then,I dialed it and it brings another name lol,now I’m so tired and she begged me but I listened and I can’t be able to love her anymore,I don’t trust her anymore so I just pack her things out and send her back to her family,cos anytime I see her im always mad,make I no go kill somebody pikin,her load is still outside right now as im typing since last week Monday,she just took few of her clothes and her child’s and left for thier house,please is it my fault that I don’t trust her any more?
I still love her and want her back but something is telling me it won’t end well,I’m not even sure if I’m the father of the child cos love entered my head and turned me to a fool,I’m alone at home now sad and depressed.note ,she no Dey suffer o I’m taking care of her in the best way that I can,I don’t think there is any honest ladies out there anymore.(matured people advice will be appreciated,thanks )

Calm down, stop looking for clues, stop busting her phone and learn to trust her. If you must accuse her again you must find complete evidence that makes your claim 100% true, because guys like you will say they caught her 50 times when mostly you just saw something and jumped to hasty conclusions.

If you can't trust her and respect her, go for a divorce, because you are very jittery from your write up. You're not okay mentally right now. If you can't handle it, let her go or you might end up killing her.

Her village people have contracted the ex for the job of calling her.

Most men care about beauty, very few care about character, even though character is important.

The truth is most men just don't care for character!

You'll find what you're looking for one day. Continue poking your nose in.

Just don't pretend to yourself. This one that you are asking plenty questions, it seems you'd prefer a younger lady.