₦airaland Forum

Only one slap? Why not give her a very good knock on the head as well.

It's quite difficult (often impossible) to reason with kids at such a tender age. Grab a cane, and they'll align instantly. Then with time, you can relax the cane and start preaching. People in the diaspora will quickly cut me off here though. (My neighbour will call the cops [size=6pt][/size] )

It will take a miracle for my kids not to get whacked once in a while. I was brought up that way. Years back, I got 12 lashes of the bulalah on my creamy butt for getting a D in english language.

Now look what I turned out to be

Whatever happened to Nike, Tokunboh, Bimbo etc etc

Why do we go for names like
Rhea ,
Tatasha (more like pepper);
Aaliyah (the only one I know is dead);
Acacia (as well as Iroko, Mahogany, Whistling Pine etc etc)

Let's go back to the roots and give our children names that define their identity.

KDK:
@ Rhea,
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, You are one of the few muslims I respect. I would however be happier if you could acccept JESUS CHRIST as your lord and saviour.


P.S,
Is that really you?

I am not a moslem. But I have moslem brothers. The world is a global village.

belloti:
KDK, Those comments were misconcieved and provocative. Both ways they shouldnt be made. You may not agree with us the liberal muslims but our Holy prophet is an epithome of peace. The greatest advice he gave to us was "La tagthab" meaning Dont be Angry.

Dont be blinded by the period of his persecution in his native mecca and his resolve to fight in self defence. I swear He was the greatest peace lover i ever know

Belloti,
Spoken like a true muslim.
I believe there are many like you (moderates). That buttresses my point that not all moslems are radicals. Let the world know you moderates exist. Chastise violent moslems and christians as well when they are violent. This is a time to take sides with righteousness and not with religion.

Pheeww!!
I was beginning to wonder,
who did it

I don't know about the pope being an ex-nazi), but then come to think of it: St Paul murdered so many of Christ's followers, and yet became one of Christ's most celebrated apostles.

No one is without sin. That's exactly why Christ came to the world.

If I wage way against all that criticise me on a daily basis, by now I woud be a war hero, and would still be fighting; and chopping off heads accordingly.

Islam is a religion that preaches love and tolerance, yet anytime anyone makes a critical comment concerning Islam or anything islamic, some moslems start spoiling for war, declaring fatwah and jihad etc etc. How does that holy war and love go together?

The pope cited a dead pope's statement, and people are calling for his head on a plate. When someone came up with a theory that the virgin mary was raped by a roman soldier, christians waved it aside as a joke and everything went back to normal. That is exactly what it is: freaking joke. I wonder how many churches would have been burnt if that statement was reversed towards the Islamic faith.

Some moslems have proven too many times in the recent past that they have zero tolerance for negative comments that border on their faith. It seems that their faith could be influenced by such comments. It thus seems that the very faith and beilef of moslems are hinged on the utternaces and comments made by people of other faiths. Is this a test of true faith?

Now let's face reality. With the advent of the internet, the concept of freedom of speech and expression is a phenomenon that has come to stay. Islam is not the only religion in the world. It was not the first either.

My advice to my moslem colleagues on this forum is this: practise what you preach. cascade that to the younger generation and moslem-converts to be. If religion is all about lifting the scimitar and sword and chopping people's head off for expressing their views, then the christian crusaders would still be around today ravaging the whole earth like they did ancient Europe.

Such days could be brought back, if need be.

I wonder what role your dad will play if/when you get married.

Umpire??

Ask him to give you a more cogent reason

Absolutely no issue here.
The girl just met the wrong guy or rather, you met the wrong girl.

Wonder if you know what some men would do to be in your shoes.

Analytical:
Bolarge55,

For those who err, which is only human, the path to restoration is self-realization.  Examples abound to attest to this.  Remember the prodigal son in the Bible was lost in his sin and wanton rebellion against his dad until he came to himself, and realized his wrong-doing.  In coming to himself, he had to ask himself several questions like: Why am I here?  What led me here?  Where was I before?  How do I get there?  What do I need to do?  At the end he concluded it was better for him to return to his dad where at least he can afford to eat as he likes and not with pigs.  Not only that, he actually got up and did so.  Guess what?  The father welcomed a lost but found son and threw a great party for him!

I don't want to sound preachy, but you need it.  Take a cue from the prodigal son.  Sit yourself down and think.  Would you want a nameless, faceless lady, whom you probably have not even seen physically (maybe she's even a cripple!), destroy your joy and home of 5 years?  Would you rather prefer her to your beautiful, lovely,  intelligent and resourceful wife (according to your own words)?  What do you stand to gain if eventually your wife files for divorce?

What you have to do is:

1.  Accept your fault and acknowledge you have indeed wronged her.  Consider what she had been through with you, helping you do your responsibility actually.  The last she would want to have is a lazy husband, that sits idle all day, flirting behind her.  Yes, that's what you have done and accept it.

2.  Ask for her forgiveness.  She's mad at you right now.  Try and go through somebody she really listens to, her pastor, best friend, mentor, guardian or whatever.

3.  Repent.  Simply put, don't do it again.  Convince her of this by your action.  Destroy the porn, get rid of the other lady, refuse to pick her calls, stop chatting with her.

4.  Concentrate on building your trust with your wife.  You don't have it right now.  She has every reason not to believe you.  You have to be seen to be trustworthy.  That is a foundation for a good marriage. Let her have access to your phone, don't keep any secret.  Take her out.  Don't take her for a fool, let her look up to you as her man, treat her like your queen, in short woo her like you did the other lady!!  I tell you, it's only a matter of time.  She will grow to love you again.

5.  Start now.

Have a great home.

Analytical has said it all.
To add to that, you really have to stop proving why you did what you did.  Just admit that you erred big time, and ask her to forgive you. Ask for a last chance to right your wrongs and get back to where you guys were before. Believe me, this is absolutely no time to be chauvinistic. You just have to plead with her. Also be ready to tell her all without witholding anything.

She will forgive you if she still has the capacity to love you again (which I believe she still does). However, if there's someone else in her life (which I deem unlikely), then you're screwed big time.

Much luck!

Bluenubian,

The bible is not read like a poem. You don't isolate/extract quotes and make conclusions with them just like most warehouse pastors do. Read the whole quotation or better still the adjoining story in its fullness to understand where the author is coming from. Let me demonstrate with the first line of what you found. Quotes in red are from your thread.


God is satisfied with his works (Gen 1:31)

Gen 1:31: God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.

Gen 6:6 God is dissatisfied with his works

Gen 6:5-6 says: The LORD saw how great man's wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time. The LORD was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain.

I could go on and on. Do not be misled by non-believers. The bible is as clear as the interpretation you give it.

419 can be (is) practised at any time of the day. The move by EFCC is not exhaustive to curb the menace.

Seun:
You should have indirectly made it clear from day one that you're the kind of girl that wants marriage. He might not even have considered it seriously. He might be thinking it's not something he should think about yet.

Here's what you should do. Ask him when he plans to get married. Then listen carefully, and say no more. If you listen carefully, you will hear what he has to say and not what you want to hear. Good luck!

Seun has said it all. Enusre he's in his best mood before you throw the question.

Men and their insatiability

When they don't act hard to get, then they are forcing themselves on us.
When they act hard to get, then they are frontin.

Comparison

This is the main reason why marriages fail;
the same reason why we have 45yrs old bachelors;
the same reason why we also have 40 yr old single ladies.

When you go to a market, you compare two or more finished products to find out which is better.

The word to watch out for here is finished and goods.

Finished: The transformation process is complete. You have your already-made stuff, ready for usage. Your wife/husband to be is not yet finished/complete. You are the one to complete (or try to complete) him/her.

Products: Human beings vary in so many innumerable ways and attributes. Hence, the basis for comparison will always be biased and full of assumptions and errors.

So, my take on this, is that one can marry his/her first love. Having been together for 8yrs successfully is almost a good-enough signal to go ahead and tie the cord.

If people are to be compared endlessly before the optimum choice is made, then you will always think there's someone out there:

more beautiful
more handsome
better behaved
sexier
richer etc etc than your partner.

If you do not believe, take a look at the sky on a clear cloudless night. If you stare long enough, you will always see a star twinkling away somewhere out there at every spot you choose.

my 2cents anyway

snazzydawn:
Yea,I love those long tapering fingers.Never cease thinking what they can do to me.

like tickling your fancy
U like good thing ooo

Busta, You too fine oo.
Very curvacious devlish delicious mouth-gaping contours

Guaranteed to give your man a raise for a long while.

Theory of retrogressive modernisation


Prehistoric times
Africans walked about with little more than leaves to cover up.
Oyibos clad themeselves heavily in all sorts of exotic fabrics.

Modern times
Africans cover up and dress exquisitely; even cover up on the beaches.
Oyibos bare almost everything; even in the offices, where mini skirts and eye-popping tops are the order of the day.

Lauryn,

Life is full of suprises and expectations. It also presents its fair share of disappointments. These experiences are meant to shape us and make us more formidable. The only reason people fall is in order to rise again and continue.

In relationships and affairs of the heart, you will learn to replace your heart with a rubber heart. You seem to have a tender heart. Time will harden it. In as much as you trust your beloved, be prepared to face the little suprises he/she will package for you once in a freaking while.

While I urge you not to relent in your search for the dream man, it pays to brace yourself for any suprises that love will present.

C'est la vie (that's life)

As to the question: is there an ideal man? Yes there are ideal men; ideal for you.

But there is no perfect man. Perfection went the way of the dodo.

Kudos to nairaland.
That's one of the positive attributes of the forum (credible surveys and polls)

Big pimping

Try to get your hands on one PC that's uninfected. sanitise one for yourself.
Whenever you are caught, no one will believe your story (they just popped open)

Blacknbold,

All is not lost. Infact, nothing is lost. Remain focused and try to taste only one side of the river next time.
Men (Original men that is) treasure girls that are dedicated to a cause; girls who don't steer off the course or waver in difficult times.

I hope you will relish the experience and lessons drawn from this and strive ahead with future prospects.
I once said in one of the threads on Nairaland that there are quite a good number of decent prospective men out there.
The issue is that they don't look like Denzel washington, Taye Diggs or Morris Chestnut.

But for those that seek for the other half, such men will complete you.

This sounds like a typical case of fairweather johnson.

If the relationship didn't work out when the guy was still learning the ropes, what chances would they have now that he's turned into the man of his dreams

Note: He now has a girl.

That girl no dey there or fancy. She go fight oo

blacknbold:
i used to date him then we had issues and split up , i travelled and met him again and men hes turned to my dream man, how can i have him back hes got a girl

Blacknbold,
You would have perservered and make him the man of your dream.

When government increasingly provides good road, the number of commercial vehicles in our cities and towns will increase.
This will automatically phase out the era of okadas (at least from the city centres where they constitute more hazard than good).

For now, they are neccessary evils.

I've been paying my income taxes regularly but not willingly, as my salary gets to me net of tax.

Eustace,

This is a typical example of a 419 syndicate. Any recruitment agency recruits for, and then charges the firm that has delegated them to do the job. The candidate has absolutely nothing to spend.

Do not be lured into such a dubious syndicate.

If I ain't of much use to the friend when alive, what chance does he have with me being dead?