₦airaland Forum

Well, if the FG is flirting with the idea of replacing Sanusi with sb else of more experience, then I say quicken it. . The economy is seriously gasping for fresh breath, it has suffered too much both from Soludo's deliberate laxity and Sanusi's unneccessary enforced banking piety and high-handedness. . I ve always argued it here on NL that Sanusi may mean well for the economy with very harsh policies, but he obviously lack the technical finesse and tact to implement a pragmatic reform that is expedient and not neccessarily the morally right thing to do. Sanusi made a grave error when he mistook economically expedient policies with his religous standing on what is morally right or wrong. He was too hasty and erratic with decisions, his actions exposed his lack of thoroughness and attention to details, he was more interested in talking too much and playing to the gallery. No doubt, the finance sector needed and still needs reforms but they should be holistic and be able to cater for every part of the problem. Sanusi has done his bit, at this point, I see a diminishing return if he continues, the sector actually needs a fresh breath of result-oriented ideas that takes it in stages and honestly, Sanusi is at his wit's end. Enough of the talking tough, now let us talk intelligence.

A lot has been said about the wishy-washy, double-faced OBJ, the old fool cant be taken seriously. . .I totally detest the stupid zoning arrangement of the FeeDeeFee but for this old ,overspent opportunist to now deny its existence, it is provocative and taunting. Any other person could ve said it but not that incestuous lier who is a direct beneficiary of such a myopic agreement. Now he wants to smear the agreement with the sticky lies coming outta his gutter mouth. Useless old male playing politics of convenience, go and feed those lies to Ur Ugly incestuous family. facking old baboon. . .

This is a very funny policking, I might excuse Soyinka but Tinubu and Co have no shiit to tell us, they are not any better than IBB, Imagine Bugaje saying they left because their presence would ve been tantamount to supporting IBB who is not a member of their party. . That alone shows U the kind of ppl we are dealing with. . They left not because they felt the man was not representative of democratic principles which was what the rally was all about but because they wanted to protect the interest of their party, so it wont like the AC chieftains were supporting IBB. I see nothing wrong with Oshiomole inviting the likes of IBB, the rally was not a party rally or a "us against PDP rally" like the AC have always unwisely done. One man one vote was suppose to rally every Nigerian irrespective of part or political affiliations, rigging and electoral malpractice cuts across political parties and Oshiomole thought it wise to invite everybody,the good,the bad and the Ugly, hence IBB. It would ve been a party rally if he had declined the attendance of IBB and Mark. . .Forget the stage managed walk out from the AC chieftains, what do U expect? These men knew all along how this would go, they probably used the opportunity to rub a shine on their political career and their party. . Their walk out has nothing to do with principles. As for IBB, serves him right, Karma is a bitch! keyamo is the true brave soldier in all of these, not those political homeboys and our prof who is begining to look politically stale to me. . .So much for a staged walk-out.

Mehn why dem com dress am like dat na. . I mean he deserves more respect than being clad in that kinda clothes. . .looking like a common nigga that got shot. . .scheeew. .

DL:
Go Jo! Abeg replace with ribadu.
Hmm,Solomon the wise one.
Guy relax, we know but one thing at a time. Would you have preferred that Yar'asick still be on the seat even though uncle Jo hasn't solved our problems?

what do U mean by guy relax. . Abi U think say U dey inside a Palmy joint? If U ve nothing intelligent to say, U could as well be silent and let ppl with a better understanding comment. . What has Yaradua got to do with the issue being discussed. . I cant even engage U in a debate, Ur IQ is obvious. . .scheeew!

Nigerians are so simple-minded, from the comments, an outside observer would think Iwu is what is wrong with our electoral system. As much as I want him removed, I dont agree that Iwu was the reason most of the elections went the way they did. Our electoral system is deeply flawed, that is not the making of Iwu, rather it allows the likes of an incompetent iwu to become the ceazer of INEC, it forces even men with the best of intentions to compromise along the way. How do U justify the fact that the INEC chairmanship is based on the goodwill, wims and caprices of the president, how can such umpire be unbiase when he was handpicked by an interested or potential contestant? The rogues at the NA have a way of deflecting from real issues that will benefit the common populace if it runs parallel to their own myopic benefits and advantages. Even our media, both print, audio  and visual are distracting us from the main issue, obsessing us with non-issues about IBB wanting to become president, Yerima in bethrodal to a kid, crooked ibori and over-flogged corruption charges story, all in a bid to sell their papers. Nigerians should not rejoice yet until the bigger problem of getting the electoral reform bill is passed, the incompetence and conivance of Maurice Iwu are a part of a bigger problem which is the electoral system. We should take this opportunity to lobby the rogues at the National assembly to accept the electoral reform bill without any alteration and pass it, then can we heave a sigh of relief. Anything other than that will be like Obama once described Mc Cains policy in a bid to ridicule it: wearing or rubbing a pig with a lipstick- it still does not stop the pig from being called Ugly. Even with a competent replacement and best of intentions, the gravely flawed system will betray everything. Wake up fellow Nigerians and smell the cofee!

@Chinenye
I intentionally had to paste this article to make U understand the gravity of Ur arguement that it is not a problem. Although, I agree with U that these days, they are not as stigmatized as they were back in the old days.But U cant honestly argue that it is not a problem that a person is refused marriage and discriminated against not based on the content of his character but based on some weird superstitous religeous traditional belief he or she didn't even know about? Your arguement is biase and i find it self-delusional that U think all is well with a system that sweeps serious issues under the carpet of pretense and move on like all is well. . This makes me want to ask U, since U dont think it is a problem in igboland, would U go against the threat of being Ostracized by Ur kit and kins and marry an Osu woman? I want to believe U wont see the stigma and ostracism as problems. Fact is, a lot of igbo youths are ready to marry osu or non-osu as long as the osus are going to be given thesame consideration as the so-called Diala. Until that happens, my brother, the existence of Osu caste system is a big slap across the face of every right thinking igbo youth who seek for justice, equal right and equal opportunity in life. I rest My Case. . .

The people of Umuaka community in Imo State , Nigeria , categorize one of their ten villages Osu. Other minor lower caste groups found in many kindred are given the pejorative Igbo expression of ndi ejiri goro ihe, meaning those who are sacrificial lamb to the gods. They are slaves to the gods of the community and kindred. As is the case in Umuode in Oruku community, the discrimination of the Diala against the Osu in Umuaka affects marriage and relationships of love with the Osu and the rest of the community. The Diala is traditionally and socially abhorred and forbidden to marry an Osu; intermarriage with Osu is an abomination. In the late 1980s, the Osu people in Umuaka revolted, as they could not take the humiliation from the Diala any more. They physically assaulted a couple of women from the Diala section of the community, with the intention of transforming the women to Osu so that the Diala would reject them. It has been noted in the preceding sections that the Diala interact less with or avoids the Osu completely. In some communities in Igboland an Osu is regarded as a worthless human being. As Chinua Achebe, in Things Fall Apart, notes, a conversation, which ensued over the question of admitting outcasts to a local little church in the village of Mbanta, between Mr. Kiaga, a missionary teacher, and one of the converts, the Osu is: a person dedicated to a god, a thing set apart – a taboo forever and his children after him. He could neither marry nor be married by the freeborn. He was, in fact, an outcast, living in a special area of the village, close to the Great Shrine. Wherever he went, he carried with him the mark of his forbidden caste – long, tangled dirty hair.

THE Igbos are found mostly in the South Eastern and South Central Nigeria called Igboland or Igbo society (Alaigbo or Anaigbo). By the late 20th Century the population of the Igbos was about 27 million. The majority of the Igbos are Christians, but some of them practice the indigenous traditional religion, whose major tenets are shared by all Igbo-speaking people of Nigeria . However, a relic of the indigenous religious practice of the Igbos is the dehumanizing Osu caste system, which has divided and alienated the Igbos. Therefore, this paper discusses the Osu caste system, an indigenous religious belief system, practiced within the Igbo nation, with the purpose of bringing the discriminatory, dehumanizing and obnoxious caste system to the attention of the international community. This is because whenever issues of discriminatory practices around the world are tabled for discussion in the international community, the repugnant and discriminatory Osu caste system is never mentioned. The Osu, by definition, is a people sacrificed to the gods in Igbo community. And they assist the high priest of the traditional religion to serve the deities or the gods in their shrine. It is the belief of many Igbo traditionalists that the deities, which were (and are still) perceived in some quarters as being very powerful, would wreck havoc in the society, if they are not appeased. In some special circumstances, those who hold the traditional beliefs of the Igbos could transform a Diala who committed certain atrocities against the land into an Osu. This process involved intricate rituals (offering of libations and sacrificing animals to the earth goddess). Some of the ancestors of the present-day Osu people inherited their dehumanizing social status this way. That method is now a thing of the old; Western influence has affected this practice. Presently, one could acquire the Osu status through inheritance and marriage. For this author, the Osu caste system is a societal institution borne out of a primitive traditional belief system colored by superstition and propagated by ignorance. It is absurd to categorize a human as a sub-human being. Although this author is not a member of the group, he condemns the practice of the Osu caste system because it is a human rights aberration. The Osu caste system, which is a form of discrimination, has caused inter-communal discords and wars between the Osu and the Diala in Igboland. And many lives and properties have been destroyed as a result. According to the United Nations definition, discrimination includes any conduct based on a distinction made on grounds of natural or social categories, which have no relation either to individual capacities or merits, or to the concrete behavior of the individual person. The discriminatory Osu practices involves inequality in freedom of movement and choice of residence, inequality in the right of peaceful association, inequality in the enjoyment of the right to marry and establish a family, (and) inequality in access to public office. That is the crux of the matter with the Osu caste system in Igboland. If one may ask, could a right exist if it is not regularly enforced? To put it differently, can a right exist without a specific legislation that provides for its protection and remedies if violated? Oddly enough, the victims of the Osu system do not have any legal recourse in Igboland. And strangely, some people believe that the humiliating Osu caste system is a part of the Igbo culture nobody should temper with. Fortunately, many Igbos have a contrary opinion. The Osu caste system and the indigenous religious practices of the Igbo nation. All human beings are created equal, but human experiences are heterogeneous. Some people have had it rough all their lives on earth, while others do not have a lot to complain about. Naturally, life has the same meaning for everyone, but the Osu caste system in Igboland seems to have changed the meaning of life for a group of people branded Osu. No historical question gives the Igbos more concern than that of, “ How did the Osu caste system come to be in Igboland?” This section of the paper attempts to deal with the question. There are many versions of oral information on the origins of the Osu caste system. In the absence of documented information, oral sources are central to the study of history in Igboland and other parts of Nigeria . There is a paucity of written information on the issue of the Osu caste system. This is apparently because many people shy away from discussing the issue for fear of being branded Osu lovers. However, available little documented information show that the Osu caste system started out of the indigenous religious practices of the Igbos. And the belief was that these gods could be manipulated in order to protect them and serve their interest. An individual’s fortunes are determined by the by-product of interactions that exist between one ’s “chi”, the deities and the Creator or “Chineke”. Humans interact directly with deities, which function as intermediaries to the Supreme Spirit or Creator. Being in good terms with powerful deities in one ’s domain is an assurance that one is likely to obtain the largesse of creation while, at same time, minimize the wrath of the forces of nature. It is an individual ’s obligation to observe the customs of the land since their violation could offend the deities; and goodwill and protection from the deities depends on one ’s cordial relationship with them.

@Chinenye
I am yet to understand the basis of Ur arguement, I understand, that some ppl esp the non-igbo come on here just to have a field day bashing everything that is igbo. However, i fail to see what it is, U keep saying that tallies with my own opinion of the topic. Are U saying the Osu caste doesn't exist or it does but it is not a problem that needs the attention we give it? I mean, am confused at Ur stance on this issue, is it just me that thinks U re in denial here. Osu caste is still a big issue in igbo land and please dont tell me U or Abagworo believe it is only in imo state or sth like that. . I remember my elder sister saying she read it somewhere that a particular community in Anambra state had outlawed it, that alone tells U it is an issue there too. Although, I agree with U guyz that igbo families can reject marriages to their childrien for very many reasons osu being inclusive and is sacrosanct too, that is a fact. So please Nwa nne, let me know Ur real stance on this issue so i can at least appreciate the basis of Ur arguement and where U are coming from.

ChinenyeN:
I'm laughing now, more than I did on your other post. Anyway, I don't know where you get your information from, but Osu and non-Osu do EVERYTHING together with (in most cases) the exception of marriage. And last I checked marriage is a family to family affair. So, if some family doesn't want to marry a suspected Osu, ke yi ke ole? If a family doesn't mind marrying Osu, then that's them. What of a family who only wants to have Osu inlaws? What will you do then? Cry discrimination against non-Osu? Nonsense. Again, there is nothing you can do about it. Hence, it is not your problem.

Chinenye, I am igbo too but I do not neccessarily agree with U that there is not such thing as Osu caste and that they are not being descriminated against even though I dont agree with the OP's allegations of them being oppressed.
I got to know about Osu caste and Diala caste after secondary sch, i remember reading a story about it in pastor Bimbo's(blessed memory) book, before the ring or so, cant remember well. The story was so touching i got curious, i started asking questions, i remember my mum rebuking me for bringing up such topic in the cityroom with visitors around. That was when I understood the gravity of such a tradition. . I remember my mum told me afterwards about it. . She said their great grand fathers were sacrificed as slaves to the gods and back then, it was a taboo to have anything to do with them, neither were U allowed to call them osu to their face. I know of a serious inter family squabbles that almost resulted in ppl's death just becoz a man accused another man of being from the lineage of Osu. . There was a meeting and the man denied it, he was told he was going to swear to prove his innocence or better still give evidence of his claims. The man later admitted,tendered an appology to the accused family and paid a very heavy fine. U wont know how serious the matter is, until U re set for marriage. . An uncle in Canada was paired up with this very pretty young woman in Nigeria by my dad, it got very serious that my Uncle came down to Nigeria with the intention of marriage. My Uncle met with the lady in our house and next was family introduction, i remember vividly, i was the one with the contract of buying all the demanded drinks(lol). Then suddenly, there was a rumour abt the possibility of the gal's family being osu caste. .Then a delegation of 3 elderly men were sent to make enquiry abt the gal's family, one said actually that they shared thesame boarder but he aint sure if the family is osu caste, the 2nd said they were while the 3rd said two ppl claimed they were not bot another person said they were. When these speculations got to my uncle who had already given out money for renting of hall, buying of wedding gown and so on, the whole plan was halted to an abrupt stop. . My Uncle gave silly excuses about her not being adaptable and all that, infact, it became the subject of a court case as my Uncle demanded for his money. We all didn't know his reasons until much later,till date the guy is still mad at my dad even though he is now married to a Tunisian with a daughter. . The gal too has moved on to marry a very wealthy yoruba guy who also is based abroad. .So it is very unrealistic for anyone to claim it is non existent. I remember once, I told my mum jokingly that if love takes me to yorubaland, calabar or even edo she wont stop me O! She was just lafin at my youthful banters but as soon as even osu i can marry. . O boy my mumsy's countenance changed o! She just retorted: ishi gba wa kwa gi . . Onuku come on shut up your mouth and go inside. . Mehn i was surprise by mum's action o!

I stay in Lagos and I am yet to see anywhere in Lagos where people pray and sleep in dumpsites.
If U take a very close look at those pictures,U would see they are kind of doctored for a purpose, the guy sleeping on the trash cans looks nothing like a person that sleeps there, they all look like ppl doing a job and getting paid for poses, U would notice that the dumpsite is not even in Nigeria, look at the people in the dumpsite they look nothing like nigerians. Pure water nylon, plastic water bottle and other polythene and plastic material usually make the bulk composition of a typical lagos dumpsite. . The pictures are so clear and precise that they betray the demeaning intents of the so-called documentary. . .Western media are in the habit of highlighting only the ugly side of things that happen in Africa, check out CNN, BBC and co each time there is news about Africa , it is either Sudan,Libya,Congo, Somalia and any war torn part of Africa. They tend to give the impression that only war,hunger and poverty exist in Africa. . Like to say that they are right in their supremist thinking that unless a white man governs us, we would continue to live in hunger and poverty. . Well, am not living in poverty neither am i hungry or live and pray in a dumpsite. . I live just like an average american or european does, may be BBC should also tell their people that. . Facking Colonialists, who does not see through their vail of pretense as if there are no dumpsites in the west or everyone there lives like the president. . .if they cant give us a balanced and unbiased coverage, then let them shove their documentary down their throats, we know the harsh realities already, we would be stupid to deny them but we would even be more stupid if we allow these kinda pseudonym in the guise of a documentary to poke stupid fun at us just to make themselves feel better. .

blank:
I know its rude but sometimes it gets so annoying esp when the guy cant take no for an answer. Some guys feel that if they r persistent, the chic will fall. It may work for some girls but not all. Some guys think just because you engaged in small conversation with them the first time, its okay to meet u again n try and strike up another conversation even after repeated rejections. That's why i can sympathize with some of the chics n dir responses. It could lead to either the guy having false hopes or being mis-interpreted by your significant other.

i consider galz that act like dat as childish. . .fact is, it is generally known believed that when a guy toast a gal, she is not supposed to yez the 1st and the guy is not supposed to give up at the first try just because the gal has not said yeah! Me, if gal halla me becoz i dey toast, scheew. . She no go like my reaction at all coz me i no dey luk face when i don vex o, even if my potential wife dey there, me i go give d gal yawa double. . .afterall, it is only human. . . .

keneff:
never toasted anybody but had a guy toast me.                              I work at a local supermarket. A guy  ask me to help him with something. I followed him to the fruit and vegtable section and oh my goodness the guy started to describe my butt and my busom as ripe as the tomatoes and oranges and he went on and on told me he had money and can buy me things. After undressing me with his eyes heThen hand me his phone as if i would put my number in. I nearly threw up in my mouth.


Jesus Christ

are U male or female Ur comment dey make laf o! Hahahaha. . The guy was probably tryinna be creative with wordz. . .tomatoes buttz. . Lol. .

RuuDie:
Remember one time i was walking my friend's sister home after Wednesday night church service - it wasn't like i was wooing her at the time, per se, but it was fairly evident to most that we were attracted to each other cuz we communicated & hung-out together whenever we were chanced.
I was cool with everybody in their house; her mumsy even knew we were getting along well - her brother (my pal) & her 3 sisters had all but embraced me as their sister's guy; her dad - also knew me well enuff. But she always insisted that i steered clear of her dad & most times, whenever he was near, we would try not to get too close to each other.

On this faithful night, after church, i had the "all clear" to walk her home. . . . . we got to their gate & just chilled there gisting away; mumsy and other sisters came, saw, greeted & went away without incident.
Omo. . .  when her papa show; see raking - i no know sey d man don dey carry am 4 mind 'tey - from like 5 metres to the gate, the man don dey halla, "this is the first and last warning i will give u; i don't want to see u near my daughter again!" If you are familiar with Surulere (Aguda in particular) & u know how busy Brown Road is at evening times, then u can imagine how many people witnessed this. E jus be like make ground open swallow me becuz no hiding place - people jus dey look; d babe sef jus discharge leave me there. . . .  i jus dey smile conny-man smile, dey beg d baba, wetin man fit do!!?

. . .hahahahaha. . . o boy no be only U sabi laf dat cunny man laf even me sef dey laf am too esp when kasala don burst. . . .dat man just act like my pupsi, he has done that to a lot of my elder sister's male friend. . . Some sef go greet my palla go use akpo answer them. . .even me sef, e get the ones wey me sef dey give them akpo, nothing dey vex me like make my own friend open im mouth come tell me say im like my sista. . Chai! Dat thimg dey scatta my dada. . I no just no why e dey do me like dat sha. . Lol. . Bros sorry O. . Hehehehe

Fueless Generators?? From what I decipher in that butchered report, they were probably claiming to have developed a generator that generates its own input from which it gives its output.Fundamental Scientific laws flaws this claim as it is practically impossible. Any average student that has been exposed to O level sciences will understand that a Generator basically converts mechanical energy to electrical energy, it does not generate it per say, it merely converts the mechanical force which is a product of energy in another form, like gasoline,lead batteries etc. He fails to explain to us how his generator internally generates the input. Unless of course, he is trying to lay claim to developing Perpetual Motion Machine. I mean i dont ve to be a brainiac to understand the basic science here. . .

Krissykriss:
Dont actually know who should be embarrassed in my own experience but somehow i was. Not too long ago, i was in a bus with this beautiful chic. We werent sitting close to each other so there was no way i could strike up a conversation from where i was. When d conductor was gonna collect money, i paid my fare & hers (to create a platform for conversation when d bus stops). I asked d conductor to codedly return her money. When d conductor did, she was like 'what for?'. The conductor codedly told her i paid. She turned & said thanks but she wasnt gonna accept it. Mehn d conductor provoke o. The conductor begin hala, "how person go pay for u & u say no? Inshort u must take your money back". The girl insisted she wasnt gon take it back. Everybody inside the bus come join mouth for d matter; they were like, "na by force to pay for person"? I hade to take back my money. The conductor kept murmuring about the incident till we got to our stop. I tried introducing myself but she paid me no mind & went her way. Me too find my bearing.

. . Hahahahaha. . . This just too damn funny. . Typical stuf that happens in Lagoz. . Lol. . Some women and pride sef. . . Just broke a brother's heart. . Anyway, her loss. . . Lol. .

kieryn:
never toasted anybody but had a guy toast me.                              I work at a local supermarket. A guy  ask me to help him with something. I followed him to the fruit and vegtable section and oh my goodness the guy started to describe my butt and my busom as ripe as the tomatoes and oranges and he went on and on told me he had money and can buy me things. After undressing me with his eyes heThen hand me his phone as if i would put my number in. I nearly threw up in my mouth.

meehn. . At the moment i know of these two guyz in my former street, i notice the gays were in the habit of sizing up me and my friend from their balchony, casting the kinda flirtty glances a moonstruck guy would a lady. . I ve even complained to my friend too, he lafz and then confirms it too. God help one of them to surmon enuf courage to walk up to me, I will make minced meat outta his faggoty a$s, facking disgusting weirdos. . .

Hahaha. . I just remembered one funny toasting xperience me and my twiny had with these two yoruba chicks that came for holiday in the house a friend.
As in eh, my bruva and I were just sitting in front of the house gisting about dis two hotties that had just invaded the street, as we just dey gist they laf, it was around 7pm, lo and behold, the pair just came out of the house onto the street taking notice at the way my bruva and I were sizing em up, dem just dey ju idi ile, see as dem come dey swing waist like say dem fix them with hydraulics, mehn these galz get both "Nkiru & Azuka"compactment, we were so carried away by the sight of what our eyes were seeing, the time wey my twiny who is crazier blurted out:"e hia bu ukwu"(dis tin na waaaist?) he did't know. Personally, I dont fancy the idea of toasting chickz in my area or house but mehn, i had to make an exception at that point, besides, i said to myself,these galz ve only come to spend their holz here,they aint part of my no go area galz. So my twiny and I waited for them to gain some distance away from us then off we went. As if they knew we were goina come after em, they started a phoney chat,lafin and constantly looking back, my bruva and I decided to separate and then I went closer to the more chubby one who kept meeting my eyes each time she turned back, when i gained enuf distance towards em, i went: Hi Ladies! They luk'd at each other like they were tryina figure out who said it, then I gave em my $20million dollar smile(who would resist that) the chubby one reluctantly muttered hi under her breath while the other almost didn't say anything(who cared anyway,she wasn't my target) then my twiny joined us with:"mhmm, steve, I see U got Urself some new friends here,Hi Ladies, am Buchi". . . .In a very funny way, am sure that got the galz less tensed. Then I went: "Oh forgive my bad manners, am steve" then turning to the chubby one, so what's Ur name? she said Tolu,all these going on while we were still walking, as my bruva say make im ask the other one her name, the next thing we heard was:eeihh! Tolu! Tolu! Luk who is here! Tolu turned away from me and also went: Dare! Wow! Then came the Mørøn wey wan spoil show for guyz. He approached us, my twiny sensing say the paralz don cast,take style waka go front, me na feeling like one optimistic mumu still stood there with the galz and even shook hands with the !diot(to make him understand that an important negotiation was underway).Guyz, could U believe that I stood there like a Morøn for over 20min watching dis trio chatting away and lafin(probably lafing at me, I guez) the yeye guy no even consider say me been dey wait make im free d galz, he just went on and on asking them questions,lafin and sometimez luking at my direction. . .mehn. . .I developed a cold feet, I was caught up in a dilemma, did't know whether to just leave or go to them and excuse myself, like say holyghost minister brain enter my head, i just waka without looking back until, i reach my house. . .o boy my twiny been dey downstairs dey wait for me. . . As we just see eachother, come see laf,we just started lafin at eachother. . . Needless to say, i did't bother to know abt d galz again jare before dem go use me Chop Amala next time. . Lol

[quote author=pine_ed link=topic=425860.msg5853514#msg5853514 date=1270732698]@ rhymz, nice one pal, had a very similar experience lately.
i was @ a restaurant not far from my office one early morning. met dis beautiful lady who was already having her b/fast. sat next to her, later started a conversation & we just got talking. all of a sudden, in d course of our brief discussion, maybe she got carried away,  she just switched into yoruba,    holy smoke!!,  i could barely understand, so all i did was just nod my head. i was so embarrassed!
don't get me wrong, i respect our local dialects, but d poor lady couldn't read my body language, dat i wasn't comfortable at all.
i just hurried my meal, got up & left, never asking 4 her name, let alone her digits,  it was really crazy   [/quote]mehn broda, seriously, situationz like that can kill Ur morale and water down Ur enthusiasm and guts, especially when U ve to contend with the fact that there other ppl who might probably be eavesdropping on Ur very unintelligent conversation. . .the way I see it is, if there are amebo evesdropping, the least we could do is entertain them with our conversation. . Lol. . But seriously, i get so uncomfortable with such an incompactability esp when the environment demands for some sophistiscation in mannerism and behaviour. . . Anyway, I feel Ur pain bruva, it has nothing to do with liking Ur local dialect or not, it has to do with what courtesy demands of us.

Gentlebabs:
Mine happened when i was in SS1. I was the best toaster amongst my friends, gifted in the act of writing love letters, which i also do for commercial purposes.

We were having men talk when this girl i had been eyeing walked past. My friends asked me to go for the kill! I approached this girl in my short knicker and immediately my john bosco started to nudge,  i had to put my hands in my pocket to contain it. Eventually, i heard myself saying “What will it cost you it i take few minutes of your precious time”, as soon as the girl replied “Silver & Gold” i just went blank, but sha we eventually dated and broke up, The rest is history.

hahahahaha. . . O boy that thing dey do me too sometimes especially when the gurl is just too hot for me to handle. . . I remember one very fine yello hot opkekei for sch dis gal get bøbby and nyash, she come get one lipz like dat, anytime she rub am dis their wet lipz Oh boy, i find myself lukin at her in forgetfullness like a slowpoke, na so blood go just dey rush dey feel my kini. . Chai D day wey me and dis chic meet for park, she wan come give me 360 degree hug, noticing as kini dey sing kini bigdeal and halleluya na im i give her my side, making d hug a 180degree to save myself any further embarassment as my bulge been dey show through my pant trousserz. . Chai! Through out the convo we had, I was not myself, coz my hormones just de9 fail me in the wrong places. . My mouth and tongue come dry no be small, come see internal heat. . E come be like say d chick sef no wetin she dey do me coz she kept chatting me up and touching me here and there with her innocent gestures. . I hear nwee dat day. . .i no dey 4get that stuff. . As U just tell dis Ur tory na im d thing enta my head. . Hahahaha. . Dis woman game e no easy O. . No be everyday U go run into galz wey fit control Ur hormones like that. . Lol

This happened some 3months back. I had just gotten off a six-month r/ship with dis gal and was in a hurry for another company. I went to visit another female friend in my ex's sch, there was sth she wanted me to do for her at the cafe so we went. While we were waiting in the crowded cafe to use any of the free system, i noticed this very fine gal sitting next to a lady who was probably typing her material for her. I moved close to where dis gal was,didn't say anything as I thought since I was standing it was pointless talking to her.Soon as the next user left his seat, i used my opportunity. I feigned and asked her: "mind if I sit down" acting all casual and friendly, she nodded her head in gesture to say no,I sat down.And without looking at her face i pointed to the computer screen and said: "is this Ur work?" she said yes! Then a conversation ensued, i just joked and said funny stuff to ease out the atmosphere but i noticed she gave very little response when i ask her questions cos in between the jokes I was getting my data on her. . . I didn't read any meaning to her unsual reticence but i suspected it was not natural either. I told her i would like for us to meet again, she gave her number. . Then after a day, I called her and noticed thesame shyness and inarticulate attitude especially when I speak english.Anyway, we arranged to meet an eatery but this time i decided to experiment, in order to make her more comfortable around me, i decided to speak only pidgeon english and occassional igbo since my igbo was not very good. O boy come see no holds bar, dis gal com dey gist, dey voice pass me oh all because I wont speak english, she even went to the extent of yapping my igbo when she is obviously lacking terribly in english. . Mehn I was kinda embarassed, i com dey reason stuf, how i wan take introduce dis kind chicks to my homeboys and their chickz. . Guy, dem go ridicule me die. . . Somehow i just did what I had to do, acted along and at the end, i kissed the idea good bye. . No matter how pretty a gal is, mehn if she cant express herself in simple english, i gatto ride on. .

OMG! I ve been lafin convulsively reading from one post to another. . .honestly, most of the funny posts feel me with a pang of nostalgia for my ol sec sch days in St Finbarr's College. . .I dont realy consider many of my experiences in wooing the opposite sex as embarassing per say. . . Though I went to an all boyz sec sch, I manage to somehow have many female friends, i had friends in many of the gals' sec sch in Yaba-Sabo Oyinbo and Surulere axis,from Anglican galz, QC, OLA, ISL,methodist girls,surulere gurls high sch to even Gideon in Okota. . One thing I learnt early abt wooing chicks is to have as many female friends as possible, that way they help U create avenues for getting their friends. Seriously, no gal likes to be around a guy that is hardly seen with a gal and very nice. . Hahahaha. . U will end up being their good friend and that is where it will end. . Hahahahaha. . However, i have had cause to be embarassed not by any cold response from the gal or a lack of what to say due to some adrenalin rush but the total lack of confidence in the gal I was toasting but that would be for my next posting. . Meanwhile make I laf. . .

Beaf and Sagamite, the thing wey remain na make Una throw e-grenade and e-missiles at eachother. . . Anyway, two of una are a match for eachother, let me see who will back out, I know for Sure say Sagamite no dey gree likewise Mr Beaf. . Hahahahehehe. . Dis wan clash of the titans, battle of wits. . Let the Duel begin. .

Ikengawo:
lol they use it as a tool for campaigning cause ppl are silly and he's a politician whos job is to capitalize on it lol. obama can 'take credit' for reducing unemployment but he didn't the free market did it it's self through the natural laws of economics and even that was propaganda cause the unemployment rate didn't drop in his first year it remained steady and high

lol i wish my dad was sending me money, cause i need to buy a new car, but he spent enough time in the US to learn the values of DOING THINGS FOR YOUR SELF and knows as an able bodied man i can make my own money.

Nigerians on the other hand think the government will make money for them.
they except the gov to build them homes
they except the gove to build power plants
they except the gov to hire them
they except the gov to do EVERYTHING for them. The Us president 'creates jobs' by motivating the people to create their own damn jobs lol. This has been the practice since FDR. All the things we expect the nigerian goernment to build for us the US government doesn't build for americans and they have more money then nigeria will ever fathom. unless you can point to the power plant Obama has built

Are U high on some cheap brandy? if U ve nothing of importance and intelligent to say, why not hush. . Are U trying to insinuate that we are $tupid,we dont know what we want or sth. . .
U re in the US as U claim, do U know anything abt their energy laws and grid system? Before U open Ur big mouth to talk abt electricity Or dont U see infrastructure there that enables and encourages the creation of employment? If the government ve no business creating jobs, how come they are the first to point to when ppl lose their jobs even in Ur eldorado america. . . Sometimez U need to be in some1's to know what they are talking abt. I dont know of any Nigerian that expects the government to build homes for them even though that is what the mortgage system in Ur darlin america is all about. . Abeg guy just hush, obviously, U aint got any clew as to how government work, but if U wanna run Ur mouth, be my guess. . .i know U re one of those Nigerians that just arrived the US, awed by the efficiency of the place buh have no insight as to how they were able to attain such fits, so U blame Urself and now U want to whine and blame others too. . .scheeew. .

detopshot:
I'm smellin sth funny here. i have lived in Calabar for more than 10years but i'm not from cross river. 4get about all this silly comments we're makin- muslim terrorist, christian saviour and all the bullsh, t. let's think of this:
1. the cross river state govt recently banned the operations of commercial motor cyclist in Calabar urban of which 70percent were uneducated Akwa Ibomites(abt 60percent of Calabar residents r Akwa Ibomites, apart from visitors).
2. the govt also, thro the dept of public transport (DOPT), levied a huge some to all privately owned taxi operators such that they complained bitterly and even went on strike as a union (most of them r former okada riders).
3. the new Ibom intl airport was formerly operated by arik airlines, but out of misundrstandin wif govt, they withdrew (but i don't know how this is related, but let's also consider it. probably it'll aid our reasoning).
4. there's been a bit of face-off between Akwa Ibom and cross river state govt cos of the oil well issue that left them, i.e Akwa Ibom, the highest oil producer in the country. So, from the aforesaid, we MAY NOT engage ourselves in silly and unmerited tribal or sentimental talks abt this issue. this is a very serious one and as such, let's not make fun of it BUT REASON TOGETHER AS A PEOPLE. remember, we DONT HAVE ANY OTHER COUNTRY but NIGERIA. good day all

Ur submissions are very close to the possibility of what had caused that incident. . .Am sensing some political tension btw cross river and akwa ibom esp after they vehemently disagreed to give cross riverians back the oils wells that the FG had transferred to be in the possesion of akwa ibom. I watched the showedown at the Senate and I must confess that the akwa ibom senators came across as insensitive giving the fact that they own more oil wells and were not ready to take pity on the cross riverians who did not have any left besidez those the FG took 4rm them and to akwa ibom. Funny enough, Calabar used to be the host of every akwa ibomites back in the days and even up till dis day, akwa ibomites still make up a sizeable chunk of the Calabar Population. It is possible the cross river state govt is reeling out harsh policies aimed mostly at businesses which are mostly occupied by akwa ibomites to teach them how not to bite the finger that has fed them. And am sure what we saw in the papers, was a taxi man( who most likely is an akwa ibomite as they make up the taxi biz in Calabar) who understanding the politics at play, was angry with the Cross river government and wanted to teach em a very big lesson. For real this guy wanted to make a very big statement. . Geez. . He rammed two gates and headed straight to the fuel tank of d plane, it was just God that saved the passengers. This is a wake up call i guess to the two states govt.

. . Lol. .babaogun e be like say U sef like too much yarns sha. . .U know why I dont like arm chair critics such as the Junky U re arguing with? They are only good at finding faults, I would prefer for us not only to do the talk but to also work the talk. . There is going to be a match protest to Alausa on the 13th of dis month against Iwu's continued stay in office, I will be there if I happen to still be in Lagos by then, my elder brother and twiny brother will surely be there, we would be converging on a catholic church(cant remember the name) in ikeja, my elder bruva has the details, i could get more info on it from him if U re interested.
Quit arguing with this show off that is more interesting in exercising her close-ended and twisted logics. Anyone can sit on their butt and talk 4rm all corners of their mouth, that is not thesame thing as being part of the solution. Like I always say: "be the Change" Nigeria is like this 2day because we have a lot of arm-chair critics like the Junk U re arguing with, who already ve their conclusions even before they begin,thus their close ended arguement and unbriddled arrogance. . . Abeg leave that creature jare. . Am not even sure if it is a woman or a man coz am very sure the Junk used to pose as a male. . .scheew. . Infront of the computer screen, everyone feels like an intellectual esp when U can easily google up idea and present it like they are urz. . Scheeew. . Na 2day we don see am! Abeg free that Show-off biko. .

BabaOGUN
abeg e don do, U and Ur i too sabi wife dey give me headaches with Una long epistles. . Abeg e do. . . .

Turquoice
weird mc no do me anything my bruva e just be say d tomboy no fit in there jare. . Dis one no be ijoya matter. . .

babaogun:
@kobojunkie
Just to bring to your notice that i will rather have a 2 mouthed Dora as my minister than have a see no good in anybody as my minister.

. . It is funny U noticed thesame thing I have noticed long ago about this professional complainer. If U want to fully understand this arm-chair-siddon talk critic take a look at all her comments and arguements on different issues, they are usually complaints,see nothing good in others gist and i too sabi pass U arguements. She is more into showing off her arguementative skills and winning any arguement even if it is obvious to her that she is fighting a losing battle. . .There are ppl I respect their arguements and there are those I just see as show offs who often times get lost in verbiage and make no sense.
Abeg pay no mind to this whiner who is propelled by an overbloated sense of self importance,that is all she is. . . .

babaogun:
@kobojunkie
Just to bring to your notice that i will rather have a 2 mouthed Dora as my minister than have a see no good in anybody as my minister.

. . It is funny U noticed thesame thing I have noticed long ago about this professional complainer. If U want to fully understand this arm-chair-siddon talk critic take a look at all her comments and arguements on different issues, they are usually complaints,see nothing good in others gist and i too sabi pass U arguements. She is more into showing off her arguementative skills and winning any arguement even if it is obvious to her that she is fighting a losing battle. . .There are ppl I respect their arguements and there are those I just see as show offs who often times get lost in verbiage and make no sense.
Abeg pay no mind to this whiner who is propelled by an overbloated sense of self importance,that is all she is. . . .

It is Funny the Msg I just got from aisha2, the Mod for this section i suppose. . .hmmm. . After reading that msg I decided to read back my own post again to be sure I was guilty of what he alleged i did. Funny enough the only thing I was guilty of in that post was just a series of typo errors and perhaps rude jokes which if U are familiar with my posts, U would understand that they are just funny and prepostrous soundbytes just to give relaxing effects. I fail to see any statement that can promote hate,disintergration or even war( lol) like U tried to imply. . But thanx for bring it to my attention that some persons felt slighted by my rude or rather expensive joke, at least I will be on the look for any mutallab luking kid around my vicinity . . Hahahaha. . .Well on a more seriouse note, I want to say that I am sincerely sorry if my very corrosive vitriols spilt on ya, Anaegboka in particular(even though i suspect say na U go rat on me. .lol). . .it was not intended to make anyone feel bad about themselves, I am igbo and I know how much bashing the igbo tribe gets on NL, I dont take it personal coz I ve got more very important stuf to worry about than give a damn to somebody's secterian bent of mind. . . Anyway, welcome to my world. . Lol. .