₦airaland Forum

If your brother is what you've described here, then I can tell you that I know a good fellow when I see one, not to talk of a brother.

Be it as it may, I'd also advice that you attend his party. But, I think it is worth watching your back against such a brother. Yes, this brother is obviously not a loving one.

Play safe!

makydebbie:
Don't break up. Discard any advice about that.

Maky why? He's not the one breaking up!

Going by the story, the said girl is obviously pained by Op's refusal to let her come to Lagos. And in her frustration, she initiated a break up as her own way of hitting back hard. Funny enough, she's also whining because the young man is probably too busy to indulge her kindergarten play. I mean, he's simply granting her wish!

C'mon...hers is nothing but an emotional blackmail! And, a very cheap one at that.

By the way, happy new year!

Oh wow...what a fantastic punching bag! Wonderful discovery if you ask me.

Udeme, you deserved an end of year hot slap for this nonsense!

kimbraa:
So you think anyone enjoys being angry since it's a habit?. Whether it's short tempered or not; it's a trait in all humans. All you need is for someone to trigger you.

Kim, getting angry and being short tempered are two different thing. The latter is even viewed as a problem that must be cured or controlled.

And thankfully, like you said, you've gotten yours under controlled.

If I am short tempered as you claimed, then perhaps, the manifestation of my own need a special kind of intervention or triggers. Perhaps, it is truly not there.

What do you think?

kimbraa:
Human beings naturally get angry. Why did you ask?.

Cool.

I called being quick to anger a 'habit' and not nature for obvious reasons: I do get angry as is natural and true of all beings; but I am not short tempered because it is not in my nature.

However, there's a way I can somehow adopt this alien trait, and that is through habit. Yes, I can form the habit.

That is why I said that it's a habit.

kimbraa:
It not a habit 'cause habits are developed/formed but who I'm. Anyway, I've mine under control.

Here, take a look:

'Human beings naturally gets angry' and 'Human beings are naturally short tempered'.

Which of the two do you think is the most correct or truest?

kimbraa:
I've never heard of that. It's like saying once an introvert, now a complete extrovert. If an introvert decides to work his/her introversion and successfully transcends to an extrovert, there are usually signs of introversion in him/her.

Again, whatever had been uprooted has the possibility of springing up again. This happens if that which was uprooted is placed back on a fertile soil and then watered. Where these two is lacking, it dies or at least, it stunts.

Kim, getting angry is natural but being quick to anger is a habit, and habits (especially bad ones) can be stopped or managed to reflect normalcy.

That's the message.

kimbraa:
It's something that's ingrained in some humans, and maturity comes in its management.

Whatever has been ingrained can be uprooted.

So if in managing a choleric, you mean helping the fellow to freeze the burning coal that ignites before one can say Jack, fine. After all, we're plagued on every side by one weakness to the other. Of course, the most important thing is working to overcome it.

Kim, compliments!

The relationship is not over but 'technically defeated'.

Which MB will I use to watch that nonsense?

Samostical:
...That's how the habit continues.

The habit continues because when sin does stand at the door of your heart, about to happen, you lust after it instead of resisting it that it may flee (James 4:7). And this lust being so entertained by opening the door of your heart to it, soon manifest itself and of course, its wages (Matthew 15:19, Romans 6:23, James 1:15).

You see, successfully resisting the devil comes from submitting yourself wholly to God, and submitting to God in turn stems from obeying His commandments.

Here's something to help you. Always pray and meditate on psalm 119 in its entirety. Additionally, when next sin comes knocking, quickly replace the thought with its opposite.

Be strong!

Beemaz:
Piece ko. Even if you compiled the writeup, your arguments and points were borrowed from somewhere else. And I really don't understand the problem with people like you who read foreign blogs and forums that deal predominantly with problems related to their own society and environment and then you borrow their ideas and come on Nairaland to post it. How does your topic resonate with the average Nigerian? Is this brand of "bitter" feminism or any pronounced version of feminism actually a problem here in Nigeria? How is your post going to be of any value to any Nigerian reading this? Abeg carry you post to reddit or 4chan or some other place where majority of the active users are from societies where feminism is actually a conspicuous problem.

Calm down bro. This one is made in Naija and for Naija o. Original cha cha! I didn't consult any foreign blog as you claimed.

I've quoted mainly from the Bible. If that's what you called "borrowing points from somewhere else", then yes.

However, you seems to have problems with feminism.

What Cause?

Some men who professed to be 'Christians' appropriate to themselves the power to choose what is right and wrong for a woman. In other words, they literally sits as emperors over women. Now, no matter how foolish or irrational their choices may be, it doesn't matter. After all, they just know that it is written in the Bible, "I am the head".

Ahem! Mbok, who is the tail?

CHRIST AND HIS CHURCH

In Ephesians 5:21-32, Paul further establishes man as the head of a woman just as Christ is the head of the church. Now, the church here should also be seen as a 'woman'. In fact, God's church is pictured as a bride foretold to marry Jesus Christ at His return (Rev. 19:7-9). You see, one can't help but envy the love Christ and His woman shared in Song of Solomon 7. I tell you, Romeo & Juliet are learners.

So as a man, to understand your place as the head of a woman, you must first of all understand Christ's position as the head of His own woman, which is:

1. Christ, though being Lord (master) of all, "made Himself of no reputation" (Phil. 2:7- and became a servant/slave of all (John 13:5-15), and left for us an example to follow.

2. Whoever desires to be the first/head must become the slave of all (Mark 10:42-45). He must serve and not served.

3. Christ as a good shepherd (groom) died for His sheep (bride)-- John 10:11.

So, who is the head?

To be the head is to be a servant, I.e, though you are the head, but you don't bring this position to bear. Instead, your position is cloaked with humility to love and serve one another. To be the head is to lower one's self to do such a stunning thing like the one Jesus did, which provoked Peter, knowing his unworthiness and who it is that wants to wash his feet, to say, "Lord, do you wash my feet!?" (John 13:6). To be the head means there is no head, for all are servants of one another -- equal -- all are driven by the desire to serve. To be the head means you must also listens, considers, and seeks her consent. To be the head is to be one with her, just like the head of Christ -- the Father, is one with Christ.

Indeed, the headship of Christ over His church and that of man over a woman is, like Paul puts it, a "profound mystery" (Ephesians 5:32). Truly, it is a mystery to almost all who thinks it's the position of a king. And contrary to claims by some that God is a misogynist, facts reveals He seems to love women the more. But of course, He loves us all the same.

So, does anyone still want to be the head? He desires a good thing. Now is the time to take charged; now is the time to answer your true called! You must come down from your high horse; it is time to serve! And feminism? It will die a natural death when feminists no longer sees emperors but the 'heads'.

Remember, "A servant who deals wisely has the king's favour, but his wrath falls on one who acts shamefully" (Pro. 14:35).

Do you then think it's a win-win for women? No, I think it's a win-win for all. And... it's a wrap!

The sudden and seeming unending rise of feminism from a hitherto obscure position in this part of the world to that of a sizable following calls for serious attention. No doubt, the trend is only bound to go up except there's a mental & attitudinal reorientation by some people.

And what is feminism or who is a feminist?

A feminist is a person who opposes the systematic way of shortchanging or undermining women in the society, especially in ways which create and reinforce relationships of male dominance and female subordination, and therefore struggles, supports or seeks a redress. Feminism is a struggles against what U.S anthropologist, Gayle Rubins, called "sex/gender system" which in other words means a set of arrangements that condemns women to a secondary position in human relations. Feminism also seeks to eradicate social constructs such as gender-specific roles, responsibilities, expectations, norms etc. It is a clamour for equality in man-woman relationships.

I'd like to swim against the tide of "bitter feminist" and other such tags. Of course, whoever agitates for something is likely pushed by some kind of 'injuries' which naturally makes one bitter. Perhaps, feminist have been wounded truly. If so, then I think we must tend their wounds. But...to you that feminist out there that breathes nothing other than fire and brimstone, listen! "The lips of the wise spread knowledge; not so the minds of fools" (Pro. 15:7). Yes, you have to let your opponents see the need for service and humility to one another irrespective of sex; the need to do away with silly ego -- the spreading of this knowledge. Not spreading hatred, insults and threats! Or what do you called it, "Pepper Dem Gang?" Oh c'mon... you no dey pepper anybody but yourself o. Shey na me dey struggle ni?

And so, because the bitterness in itself is not the struggle -- the wounds that must be tended, I also think it is an unwise thing to attack the effect instead of the cause. (But of course, you can't go into a strong man's house and all you do is to insult him, and then expects him to grant you your desires. He will not only flown you out of his house, but let fly at you with his fist! Thorough beating eh ).

To be continued...

MuttleyLaff:
You head, I am head, everybody is head

End of story.

Chrisbeks:
I can't read this your long epistle o but I agree with you. Modern day feminists are just a bunch of arrogant and ignorant fools

Hehehe... They can be annoying sha. Mbok, try see the conclusion of the matter up there.

What Cause?

Some men who professed to be 'Christians' appropriate to themselves the power to choose what is right and wrong for a woman. In other words, they literally sits as emperors over women. Now, no matter how foolish or irrational their choices may be, it doesn't matter. After all, they just know that it is written in the Bible, "I am the head".

Ahem! Mbok, who is the tail?

CHRIST AND HIS CHURCH

In Ephesians 5:21-32, Paul further establishes man as the head of a woman just as Christ is the head of the church. Now, the church here should also be seen as a 'woman'. In fact, God's church is pictured as a bride foretold to marry Jesus Christ at His return (Rev. 19:7-9). You see, one can't help but envy the love Christ and His woman shared in Song of Solomon 7. I tell you, Romeo & Juliet are learners.

So as a man, to understand your place as the head of a woman, you must first of all understand Christ's position as the head of His own woman, which is:

1. Christ, though being Lord (master) of all, "made Himself of no reputation" (Phil. 2:7- and became a servant/slave of all (John 13:5-15), and left for us an example to follow.

2. Whoever desires to be the first/head must become the slave of all (Mark 10:42-45). He must serve and not served.

3. Christ as a good shepherd (groom) died for His sheep (bride)-- John 10:11.

So, who is the head?

To be the head is to be a servant, I.e, though you are the head, but you don't bring this position to bear. Instead, your position is cloaked with humility to love and serve one another. To be the head is to lower one's self to do such a stunning thing like the one Jesus did, which provoked Peter, knowing his unworthiness and who it is that wants to wash his feet, to say, "Lord, do you wash my feet!?" (John 13:6). To be the head means there is no head, for all are servants of one another -- equal -- all are driven by the desire to serve. To be the head means you must also listens, considers, and seeks her consent. To be the head is to be one with her, just like the head of Christ -- the Father, is one with Christ.

Indeed, the headship of Christ over His church and that of man over a woman is, like Paul puts it, a "profound mystery" (Ephesians 5:32). Truly, it is a mystery to almost all who thinks it's the position of a king. And contrary to claims by some that God is a misogynist, facts reveals He seems to love women the more. But of course, He loves us all the same.

So, does anyone still want to be the head? He desires a good thing. Now is the time to take charged; now is the time to answer your true called! You must come down from your high horse; it is time to serve! And feminism? It will die a natural death when feminists no longer sees emperors but the 'heads'.

Remember, "A servant who deals wisely has the king's favour, but his wrath falls on one who acts shamefully" (Pro. 14:35).

Do you then think it's a win-win for women? No, I think it's a win-win for all. And... it's a wrap!

The sudden and seeming unending rise of feminism from a hitherto obscure position in this part of the world to that of a sizable following calls for serious attention. No doubt, the trend is only bound to go up except there's a mental & attitudinal reorientation by some people.

And what is feminism or who is a feminist?

A feminist is a person who opposes the systematic way of shortchanging or undermining women in the society, especially in ways which create and reinforce relationships of male dominance and female subordination, and therefore struggles, supports or seeks a redress. Feminism is a struggles against what U.S anthropologist, Gayle Rubins, called "sex/gender system" which in other words means a set of arrangements that condemns women to a secondary position in human relations. Feminism also seeks to eradicate social constructs such as gender-specific roles, responsibilities, expectations, norms etc. It is a clamour for equality in man-woman relationships.

I'd like to swim against the tide of "bitter feminist" and other such tags. Of course, whoever agitates for something is likely pushed by some kind of 'injuries' which naturally makes one bitter. Perhaps, feminist have been wounded truly. If so, then I think we must tend their wounds. But...to you that feminist out there that breathes nothing other than fire and brimstone, listen! "The lips of the wise spread knowledge; not so the minds of fools" (Pro. 15:7). Yes, you have to let your opponents see the need for service and humility to one another irrespective of sex; the need to do away with silly ego -- the spreading of this knowledge. Not spreading hatred, insults and threats! Or what do you called it, "Pepper Dem Gang?" Oh c'mon... you no dey pepper anybody but yourself o. Shey na me dey struggle ni?

And so, because the bitterness in itself is not the struggle -- the wounds that must be tended, I also think it is an unwise thing to attack the effect instead of the cause. (But of course, you can't go into a strong man's house and all you do is to insult him, and then expects him to grant you your desires. He will not only flown you out of his house, but let fly at you with his fist! Thorough beating eh ).

To be continued...

Ahem! Just be careful.

You know, some people never chop since 3 days now because country hard. And now, you dey wish am Happy Independence when bros no get joy at all for Naija? Wetin dey there to happy about?

Anyway, Op I believe sey you don chop, so at least I dey save. Happy Independence!

Topic should read, "Cutlass wielding men testing the efficacy of their ODESHI".

What is she blabbing about?

kimbraa:
Op, you wrote so much for a woman being morally upright but what about the men?.

He is saying that a man has no business with morality. Perhaps, he is of the opinion or belief that a man is inherently moral, hence, the needless talk of a man's morality.

In fact, Op is simply telling you to your face: "F**ck it! I holy pass you"!

Such a funny piece.

Mumu question. SMH

gabazin080:
...am thinking of ending the marriage...

You can't be serious. Ending a marriage built over the years with so much money, time and energy put into it until now over such a trivial case is simply irresponsible.

gabazin080:
what can I do pls

Do everything but not a separation. I'd suggest you confront her and show your great displeasure. Marriage is serious business, so don't go about thinking a divorce at every little mistake.

The date was going great until...

She said, "Baby I love you" just when I ordered for two fat chicken laps. WTF!

Of course baby I love you too but not with this chicken, mbok.

You are unable to retrieve it because it is simply imaginary, just like every other looted funds recovered by this kleptomaniac government.

Why are those stone arse niggas attacking OP?

Whoever advocated for the said allowance insulted men a great deal. It exhumes a sort of a pitiable-look-like gaze on men as helpless, penniless and beggarly people. Perhaps, what she meant to say was: "Let us pay our gigolos allowances", which is absolutely okay.

I'm a man, a real G! I don't ask/want money from women; I feed them! Yeah, you can't pay me; the paycheck is mine to give out!

Sanada:
...What do u suggest I do please.....

Simple.

Talk her out of tribalism and make her see reasons why that guy is the next best thing after pounded yam ( ).

If I can't bring my mother to a compromised, then I'm not really her beloved son. She loves me that much anyway.

So go. There'd always be a compromised.

easymancfc:
99 % of Christians believe Jesus is God.. believe he came to die for our sins... So because many believe it.. it is wrong according to your quoting of mat 7:14...

As usual, a warp presentation.

Apparently, you never get it and I wonder when? If you were diligent enough or even remotely knowledgeable about the Scriptures, you would have known that it is not about the NUMBER--in your twisted attempt here, of those who believed these things, either, for even the demons believes (James 2:19). Does it mean the demons too are saved?

easymancfc:
LOL... we don't believe the bible? I leave you to your ignorance

Sorry, I don't think I'm ready for your comic relief.