₦airaland Forum

Princeyoungd2:
Thus far mistake has been made, but reading your suggestion to the dude, it begs me to wonder if you will do the same to your child in future.
He has the right to choose good or bad, loosing that ability to make the choice of a life partner will hunt him all his life.

The basis of my comment is what you started with "Mistake has been made already".

I didn't want to due on that aspect because it will make my contribution unnecessarily long.

At the beginning, he could have maintained his ground of No! But he give in to his mom's demand.

My focus is on the fact that he has not in any way said anything the wife is doing wrong or being bad at. It is all about her physique.

As for doing such to my son, I will say it can never happen.

egobetter4me:
I know a lot of you will blame me after reading this and even want to curse me, but this is my sad story and I just want to put it out there for people to learn. Don't ever let your parents decide your partner for you. Even if you have to run away, do it.

I recently got married to an ugly, short, black, smelly, village girl. At first my uncle took me to see her, then we spoke and she came visiting. All these happened in the village.

When I went back to the city, I told my mom I wasn't interested in her any more, but she insisted I must marry her. My mom would always take my joy by telling me about the girl anytime she sees me happy. There was no breathing space. We live together and I pay the rent. I loved her so much that I could do anything for her. She once sold her wrappers/materials and jewelleries, to send me money for school fees.

Anytime she tries to talk to me about the girl, I will beg her and let her understand that young people like to marry who they truly love. I don't want her, I don't love her and I don't think I will ever will.
After all said and done, she still insisted, so I called my elder bro to come talk to her. He came in from another state and spoke with my mom for hours. She did as if she would allow me marry my choice, just for my brother to go. Immediately my brother left, she started again.

My mom has BP. She stopped using her medication and was ailing. she threatened that if she dies, that I killed her. I thought to myself, that if she truly dies, I might live with the regrets for the rest of my life. I really tried but I was defeated. I succumbed. But before marrying the girl, I spoke to her(the girl) that I don't love her and that I'm marrying her against my wish, but I guess she was desperate. She said I shouldn't worry, that the love would grow in the marriage.

We got married. She lives with me and my mom. Even my neighbours were disappointed in me, when they saw her. Church members and friends were all disappointed. I can't start narrating to them how I got here.

We are over a year gone now and she still irritates me. I so much hate to look at her. We've had sex only about 5 times or so and I have to get high to do this. I only kissed her once(at the alter and I cringed)

I cry everyday.....both at home and while hustling. I never envisaged my life to be like this. I had hoped to meet a beautiful, clean and well mannered graduate from the city. Someone I would truly love and she would love me too. I'd hoped that I would meet her, approach her and we start as friends, then lovers, then I would propose and all. I never planned for it to be like this.

I am so sad with my life. Right now, I'm thinking of applying for masters abroad and probably use the means to Japa and never come back again.

My life is so miserable!

Learn from me. Don't ever let your parents blackmail you into marrying someone you don't love. Pls don't. Just run away for months or few years and they will leave you alone.

You are making yourself miserable not your mom.

I am very sure you are the one making the life of that girl miserable by refusing to see the good in her which made your mom recommended her to you.

You think marriage is about beauty and what other people will say about your wife.

I am convinced that she is a good girl, respecting you, giving you peace of mind but you have refused to reciprocate just because you think she is not beautiful to your standard.

My candid advice is to reciprocate her love, cherish her, give her the best of wears or outfits and her beauty will manifest to your likeness.

It is your mindset that made you think other people are disappointed in you for getting married to her. Cherish her and other people will do the same.

Don't make the mistake of dumping her and then go and marry one yeye yellow/bleached lady without brain and manners oooo. That one will finish you!!!

Relate with her the way she wants to relate with you. That is from afar! Infact, it is to your favor because if she comes too close, the more she becomes a burden to you.

The more the relating from afar, the better for you. So, give her what ever you propose in your heart.

Theopneustos:
Good day nairalanders

I have listened to a couple of preachers both secular and religious on the issue of what is prime in a relationship and they revolve around these three which are romance,finance and purpose.
Some said romance is important, while others finance and yet some others purpose.

Which is more important.
I think it's purpose.

What do you think.

There is a fourth factor, which I think is more important than any of these three and the cryptic sum of the three equals this fourth factor. This factor is Commitment.

Romance: One can be romantic to his/her partner while still cheating on the partner.

Finance: One can make enough financial sacrifice to his/her partner while still being domestically violent to the partner or being unfaithful.

Purpose: Is a higher order than the two above but it can still fail because in most cases, the purpose each brought into the relationship might not converge (Varying individual purposes).

Commitment: This can not be faked for long. So, it is either a partner is committed to the relationship or not. With commitment, romance will be intact, finance will be adequate because the available one will be judiciously managed for the good of all, and there will be common/genuine purpose for the good of all.

My only recommendation is that you are not skinny and you should appreciate your God given stature. People are equally using money to look for your kind of body build!

Mcslize:
This is one aspect majority of ladies always get it all wrong. They are mostly after their own self. A lady didn't hear from a guy, if she is truly interested in the guy, what's the right thing to do? Is it not by calling the guy to find out what must have been going on with him? But no, when they don't hear from a guy, they will just quickly start seeing another man immediately without even finding out from the other guy if he is still alive or not or something happened to him. To be frank, I won't say such ladies genuinely care.

A lady that truly cares about a guy will call the guy if she doesn't hear from the guy for a period of time. But this isn't always the case. Majority will rather just walk away to the next available man.

I don't see such ladies being loyal cuz any little challenge from the man, they will start looking outside for the next available man.

What stops a lady from reaching out to a guy she is planning something serious with if she doesn't hear from the guy for a period of time is what baffles me.

That's one area a handful of ladies really need to work on. They believe that the man should always be the one checking up on them without them checking up on the man.

So, if the man is sick and failed to reach out, they will just come up with assumptions and move to the next man without even reaching out to him to find out what could be wrong.

That attitude is very bad of majority of ladies I must say.

cc: letstalksense

Ya, that is just it.

letstalksense:
There is this lady I plan to marry, which I have made known to her already even before she travelled for her NYSC. Although she just came back from NYSC service recently. We are just discussing the way forward and on the process I was asking her about her sexual life and how recently she had sex. After insisting for her to answer. She opened up and told me she had a sexual relationship during her NYSC service. And the reason was because I didn't call her at a particular time so she thought I have find anther woman. And that was when I was having some personal challenges. According to her, they ended the sexual relationship in the camp. That she is sorry and all that. I didn't really expect that attitude from her as she seem to look responsible and Godlily. I was just disappointed even though I pretended like everything is well. And I was also thinking she had the courage to tell me the true.

Now I have to make my decision, but needs a matured advise and guidance from a mature mind please.

Do think I should continue my marriage plan with her?

Pease what do you advise I do?

Thanks in advance.

She did something wrong and she is trying to put the blame on you. Why didn't she called you to hear from you instead of making assumptions. Like she said, she has moved on and it is left for you to do the best thing for yourself too.

I can assure you that what she did over there is far worse than what she spilled. So, get ready for more wrongs and the blames put on you as the relationship continues.

Ronaldo723:
First of all I would start this post about myself I’m 21 the second child of my parent, I moved out from my parents house on the 21st of July 2022… I have been catering for my self and to be frank in todays Nigeria life isn’t rosy for me at all…

I moved out from my dads house cuz he was a narcissist always talking down on me and comparing me to my younger sister who gained admission in 2021always telling me that I’m visionless and has no plan for my life he is a man I never wish to live with again….

Now to the issue on why I opened this thread sometimes I yearn for a change of environment like going to visit my parents and spend sometime with them but I just can’t my mom is married to another man who she stays with and my dad is nothing to write about he is poor can barely take care of my younger ones that stays with him…… my younger sister in the university is even the one that feeds him sometimes…and he doesn’t even care on how she is getting to money to feed him she gives him money to buy clothes cus he literally has none to wear … the last time I saw him he was wearing a faded shirt he looked like a pauper I felt so ashamed…

When we saw he was telling me I’m so selfish that I don’t send him money I only think about my self and this is a goddam man that swore never to buy me even a pair of clothes while I was living with him he made my life living hell I had to run to my moms place then…… when he was saying all this I told him i don’t really have money that’s the reason I haven’t been able to send him he said why won’t I have money that people that does the same work with me are making it big what’s happening to me.. then I told him me and does people ain’t the same and God would bless me in my own time…




I have really developed a very strong dislike for my dad and I wish never to see him again… the conversation I had with my dad yesterday has made me realize how I’m left alone in this cold world and had no shoulder to lean on when I’m down I literally have no one to look up to in my family is so sad 😞

Do I need to see a therapist?

Forgive him and show some genuine concern and care towards him and your young ones with the little you can extend to them.

This is because nature has a way of blessing the more those who are a source of blessing to others.

Also, forgiving him will lift that heaviness or pain off your heart and fill it with peace of mind which in most cases improves ones productivity and attracts success.

searchlight:
So i must treat my mom equally to my mother-in-law? Never. In my life. If my wife thinks otherwise, she should do that with her own money. Marriage is a scam to me I must say.

You are misinterpreting my post. His wife only care about something being given to her mom but I am telling him to make sure whatever he wants to do, should be for both his mom and mother-in-law.

Quit the relationship.

Valoromega:
My wife and I are expecting our first child, so currently I'm saving up money before the baby comes, we are also trying to get baby things of almost 400k.

But she wants me to buy Christmas rice for her mom. I've already decided that I'm not buying anything for anyone this December, including my own mom. But she wants me to buy for her mom which I refused becauze my baby is more important.
Mind you, she has elder ones who can't even get anything for their mom this December (she's the youngest). I just lied to her that I'm broke and I don't have any money. But I have close to 1.7 million which I want I to save for the baby and also get a car for when the baby comes.

I'm I making the right decision by ignoring everyone this December or should I take like 100k and just buy a bag of rice and share to the mom.

Personally I don't want to spend a dime on anyone because my child is the most important thing right now

You can do the small you can but make sure it is for both your mom and her's!

Please feel free to come but make sure you come with our money to be returned back to the FG.

chigoziri2403:
Did she change her mind about the suicide?
She should have done it after the murder

The suicide story seems shaky

The most likely thing is that her husband did the crime having suspected his wife cheating on him with the guy.

If you are one of her former customers, maybe otherwise it is a no no!

Boomboost:
Toke, how person wey no get IV go enter?

Women supporting women, in anoda mud

She simply means dress good, look take away and hang around where house parties are being held in Banana Islands and wealthy men will see and approach you.

kkins25:
I've been thinking about this alot, and can't seem to understand what "submission" means.

What does it mean for a wife to submit to me? Also, can women provide what "to submit" means to them?

Is submitting to a man similar to submitting to God in the sense that man has the last and final say? Does this mean, the man's will should supersede that of the woman? Does submitting mean, taking care of? Please, explain it to me like I'm a dumb 5 year old.

Generally, submitting to your man means respecting and obeying him.

But to me, submitting to a man means being committed to the relationship (marriage), respect and obey him. This is because some women can appear to respect and obey their man while constantly cheating on him.

VTJN:
This is so complicated man. Village no be am but city is not smiling.


God have mercy

Just tell them they will both feel lonely without the company of those children. Also add that you will be supporting them the little way you can henceforth.

Good but put measures in place to ensure this doesn't happen again.

DyshApp:
"Women Nor Get Spec, Just Have Money"- Fans Shocked At Seyi Vibe's Mystery Woman

Seun, a Social Media personality, created a stir by claiming that women do not necessarily have specific preferences when it comes to choosing partners.

According to the man, financial stability is extremely important in romantic relationships, implying that a substantial amount of wealth can make a man appealing to a diverse range of women.

Recent sightings of popular singer Seyi Vibes with a stunning mystery woman prompted the man’s comments.

Netizens react after a photo of Seyi Vibes’ recent outing with a mystery woman surfaced on the internet.

As images of Seyi Vibes and an unidentified companion circulated online, netizens took to various platforms to express their thoughts.

Some claimed that Seyi Vibes, who may not be considered conventionally attractive by societal standards, appeared to be in the company of a stunning woman primarily because of his celebrity and financial status.

Seyi Vibes has been making headlines in recent months for his extraordinary achievements in the music industry.

The talented artist received the prestigious Best Street Hip-Hop award at the 16th edition of The Headies Awards in September, marking a significant milestone in his career.

They do! But a woman always feel she can eat her cake and have it by being with one man for the money while cheating on him with another man who is her actual spec.

Offer! As in for what?

If it was when the case was still in the court, I will understand. Offer for what?

Don't put anything in it. He is not even a godly person, so forget about that envelope thing.

Tell him you don't have money, things are down and you are even expecting him to pay the money he is owing you as it will help you weather the storm at this point.

Note that he will likely not pay it but this will give you the perfect path to freedom as he now sees you as a source of money to always deplete. Never give him any money again. Always tell him you don't have.

Scholace:
Good day all

My dad is from a nuclear family of eight. Seven boys and a girl. Their parents are late. My dad owned 8 rooms apartment in his village. He singlehandedly bought the land and raised the building. We reside in Lagos in a rented apartment. Obviously that was the only building owned by my dad. We hardly visit the village, but I've been there twice, likewise my other siblings. My mum and dad are the only ones that frequent there back then, and they're well known. My dad and the sixth child of their parents are the only ones that owned a house. The rest of them live in a rented apartment and had no house to their namew.

The house at the village wasn't occupied by anyone nor let out. Recently, one of the family members from their mother side at the village suggested to allow someone occupied the house. He brought in some people who i learnt were church people. Someone gave my dad info that they want to sell the house. My dad was surprised. We later got info that my dad elder brother claimed he owned the house.

My dad called his elder brother immediately he got the info to confirm what he heard. The so called brother asserted, and he was ruthlessly lashed by my dad. He was surprised by my dad's reaction. Two of my dad other siblings came around to apologise on behalf of their eldest brother outburst. I was around then, i overheard one of them saying it's a family's house. I was like, why are they fighting their eldest brother then?He claimed he owned the house while some claimed it's a family's house.

Apparently, my dad discussed this with two of his friends and they both advised he sell off the house and get a piece of land in Lagos or Ogun State and put up a small building on it. They told him if he didn't sell it, the family will take over the house when he kick the bucket, and his children and wife will be thoroughly dealt with if they attempt to be in loggerhead with them. He called one of his friend that reside at Ibadan, he said the same thing as suggested by his two other friends. He also added, if he can get a developer to take over the building because only 4 rooms had been roofed. By doing that, the developer will complete the building and write a will when to recoup their resources and the building taken back from them by we the children.

My mum suggested he sell it and start up a business, considering the fact that things aren't going well financially with him. My immediate younger brother may likely drop out of school due to finances. According to my dad he has really helped his siblings when things were going well for him. He financed his elder brother's wedding, sent his two siblings to school, put some in trade as mechanic and electrician. Sponsored two of his younger siblings wedding ceremony. He linked one of his younger brother's to my mum's brother who happened to be a staff at Mobil. By the grace of God, he got a job at Mobil. That my mum brother is late, he died 2016. After all the favour my dad has rendered to his siblings, the best way they could say thank you was to inherit his only house. None of them has ever given even our last born #100. I graduated from school and still in search of job, none of them had shown interest. Glory be to God, we've never had the course to call them that we're hungry. I wasn't surprised regarding the recent development from my dad's siblings. I was envisaging taking it to a radio station, but i got to realised I'd have to spend some money towards that. I was discussing with my brother and he suggested i put it up for wider view

Please what steps would you suggest my dad take inorder not to lose his property to his siblings.

Thank you.

He should sell the house as it is right now. Forget about getting a property developer involved as this could lead to another problem.

He should sell it out right away and use a part of the fund to meet you guys current needs. He can use the rest to start a business that you have interest in and be in charge to manage it for the time being.

Ogene001:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPQvDODxG4c?si=QdhB7ru2cXHQkSO7

United Nigeria airline is growing fast
Direct flight from Kano to South East will commence soon.

How many planes is UNA currently running and how many routes in total does it operates? I want to check something!

And I hope it is not that Ethiopian plane ooo?

JasOnKruegEr:
Is this job worth it ? I am the manager of a betting shop and my monthly salary is 40,000.

I have been on the job for four years now and I'm thinking I'm not getting younger anymore . I joined the work with the aim of saving and sending myself to school I've tried for years now but it was unsuccessful.

I got promoted as a manager earlier this year, I felt it was the perfect opportunity for me to send myself to school as I will have the time and opportunity. To be able to go to school while also working.

The problem here is the cost of expenses . Transportation and food I spend a minimum of 1500 everyday and as a manager I have to go everyday Sunday to Saturday without off. If you calculate it I spend a minimum of 46000 which is more than my monthly salary for just food and transport. There are small perks like in terms of winning, people can give you a share inside but that doesn't happen always, sometimes I can go a week without getting 5 naira from anyone

. I haven't added other personal expenses to this, how much will remain that I am going to even save for school? Talk more of other shortages expected in the job.

What's the gain of stressing myself working from 8am to 9pm everyday only to spend more than my monthly salary on food and transport ?

I'm thinking of finding a better job but where is the work ?

I will just say this here. I don't know if it will be of help to you right now or in your next endeavor. You failed to be prudent all these while. The first thing you would have done is to get accomodation close to your place of work that will help cut off expenses on transportation completely.

Well, if you must continue working there, better consider this now.

One of the best success strategies of independent authors is "writing to market" that is writing in a genre or subgenre that is currently selling very well and not just writing what you love to write about. To find out these genre, study Amazon "best seller" lists and see if you Chun out some good books in those niches.

One of the best success strategies of independent authors is "writing to market" that is writing in a genre or subgenre that is currently selling very well and not just writing what you love to write about. To find out these genre, study Amazon "best seller" lists and see if you Chun out some good books in those niches.

Jewessgratitud3:
I'm not talking about your choice for marriage, I'm talking about what your affinity for slutty girls is doing to the good girls.

Every individual adult have the sole responsibility for their decisions, choices and indecisions and they will also in the long run bear it's consequences (good or bad).

Visblog:
https://dailypost.ng/2023/12/14/god-has-departed-from-wike-primate-ayodele/

All these so called "men of god" self. So, you mean so many nonsense he has been doing were the handwork of God?

Dtruthspeaker:
This is to hear directly from the victims themselves as well as to let those evil fathers and uncles know that people do see what you are doing to the girls in your custody; that you are handling and molesting and sexually touching them thereby killing them.

So you people had better know that you too are guilty of murder just like Cain and that whenever people say that they have not killed before, you people cannot say that for you are all rapists and murderers (so Cain even better pass una as na only kill e kill, e no rape Abel)

So, this is coming about because of the case of an acquaintance I have been closely monitoring since the daughter was 3 years I suspected that he was defiling her but because I thought the mother was a sharp woman and she was technically in control of the house, I did not think the guy could implement his evil plans.

Nonetheless, I watched and then corona virus made it better because the mother now worked from home since then till today... so i thought and wished.

And there was a period the bastard left the family for a year and I did see the girl improve slightly but I also saw that the mother was attacking and bullying her.

And sometime last 2 years or so, the bastard returned as i noticed he was not in the estate for that 1 year and we met on the street in our estate where he confirmed that he was now back home for I withdrew visiting them.

To cut the long story short, I just ran into him and his daughter on the road (she was going for school party) and oòoh she was dead.

This was a very bright and very sharp confident girl who freely speaks her mind and ready to face anything.

But today, she could not even lift her head to greet she was completely defeated and one can see that she had been claimed and wife by her bastard father who was just smiling proudly and possessively.

And she is 11 years old but she looked 18. Her head bowed low and she silently cried for help.

So, JennyClay and other victims would you prefer I destroy your family by having your father and mother thrown in prison to save you or what do you recommend?

For option 1, is the only thing I have and wish to do to that bastard and his wife, for she works from home so she cannot claim that she does not know for even I, a mere acquaintance saw it from outside, so how can she who lives with her miss it?

So, I wish to throw the beast and his wife into prison to stop the evil but, would that be a good move?

Over to you! DVST people oya, what do you recommend.

Ask the girl to confirm your suspicion. This will help you to better strategize on how to help her.