Girlwhocares: Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday! I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.
I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.
Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.
I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.
Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.
I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.
I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.
Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.
I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions
Thank you for your time.
When I thought I have heard it all.
I honestly am short of words...all I can say is that both of you work it out by communicating and possibly go for counselling.
wany: Thank you dear1 ,I must say this man toks2008 is a phidophile.and he has a daughter not even up to 7yrs.now if I may ask ? Can he allow a man 17yrs older than his daughter date his daughter and he will be comfortable with the union. Why dish out what you cant take.such a hotie and dramatic fellow.
What if the person I dated was an adult lady? I wonder where you left your brain while you were typing this bugaboo.
franchasng: If you want to marry in life and have peaceful marriage with peace of mind devoid of frequent marItal issues, then don't marry any lady you senior with more than 5 years at most.
Forget those cap of I want my wife to look young and pretty as we age, just pray to marry a lady with good gene who also eats well and exercise well.
As a guy of 29 you are, your ideal wife should be ladies of this age range: 24 - 30yrs..
My dad senior my mom with just 3 years and if you see them, they look awesome and young like in their 60s.
All my elder brothers married ladies of their age or those they senior with like 3yrs and they are all having blissful marriages. The only brother I have having marital issue gave his wife around 10yrs.
My friend that his marriage crashed few years after wedding gave his wife 11yrs.
Me I am happily and sweetly married to my heartthrob and I senior my wife with 2yrs+ and she has been more than a wonderful wife to me. If I get cash as much as I am expecting and praying/working for, I will get her a driver and a security guard just to show you how much this awesome lady mean to me.
My point is, don't marry a girl too young as a first wife. Maybe as second wife if you decide to take second wife for any future reason, but as first wife, marry mature ladies with value and understanding for your marriage to work.
Most girls below 27yrs don't know what marital union entails. They don't even have much value to offer to a man other than sex, and maybe cooking and cleaning house. Their girlie attitudes will get you bored and tired with time. Allow them live life and get burnt and appreciate a worthy man when they get one. Don't rush and marry girls below 27yrs if you want peace of mind in your marriage
It is understandable that you write all these to defend your choice but honestly you need not stress it cos what works for you may not work for another. Nevertheless there is no denying that the younger the lady the better.
aysnoopy: I'm 29 last month and my girl will be 22 in April and I love her likewise she loves me too.
anyways, as long as dere is love, den no problem, but be prepared to tolerate some childish and immature behavior from her
Good luck sir
That is the word...readiness to tolerate.
Anytime I had disagreement with my lady she will be quick to jokingly call me "agbaya to n ba omo inu e su" meaning I'm not ashamed that I'm scrwing a girl of wide age gap from me and we both laugh it off...this is just 8years gap o..now she looks just about 2years younger. Ladies age faster sha.
Honestly there is something very sweet about a man being with a lady of wide age gap. You will always feel like you need to guide, pamper and cherish her in a special way.
Maobichek: Good afternoon, how are you? I know that you won't recognize me again. You once advice me to call off a relationship that wasn't working in 2016. thank God I heed to your advice, though painful but I'm strong and better now, thank you very much, God bless you.
wany: You know all this and yet your marriage failed.@op let that teenager go and go for a lady in your social class.there are ladies of 25yrs that also doing well in there careers and business not a teenager that is just cracking out of her shell and how are you sure is love and not infatuation/fantasies.
Without thinking twice I knew this came from a lady and most likely a lame one with no brain...the type that can never be taken serious by any sane man.
How unfortunate is that guy that will think he has a reasonable lady not knowing you are a sorry case.
If you use just the little brain you have to follow my comment you will realize that you just made a fool of yourself.
If you quote me again I will give you some words that will make you see sniper as fruit juice. Arindin.
Acidosis: A typical 30 year old Nigerian guy can never have a 19 year old girl as best friend. Easy s .ex and the need to control someone is why a man of that age would date a 19 year old.
Funny conclusion. Make I leave you to your opinion.
Acidosis: How do you guys do it? How do you date a 19 year old girl? What do you discuss? JAMB, Post-UTME, Makeup, NYSC?
I can't try this nonsense. By the time you're married, you will find yourself spending more time with your age mates and friends, keeping late nights and doing all sorts of nonsense because the teenage kid-dult you kept at home do not reason the way you do.
Go and marry your best friend sir. A best friend is likely going to be someone in your age group.
And what if she is his best friend? Abi best friend and age correlate ni?
At a stage in the past I dated a lady that was younger than me with freaking 17years but she had no clue at all cos I look over a decade younger than my age but when she found out she told me she can't continue and I obliged her request but guess what, she no gree leave me cos she said she has never seen such care from a man like the one she got from me.
I just laughed and told myself quietly that this lady is in big trouble cos I know she is hooked. I had to sit her down and begged her to move on since there is no point sticking with me whilst insisting she can't date me cos of age gap.
This age thing is a mind thing. When a lady sees great care from a man 20years older and younger guys keep acting like pricks she will rather pitch her tenth with the older man. Who close age epp?
otherway: Hmmm! this your story gives me a sweet nostalgia.
Met my woman a day after her 19th birthday and I am 8years older having met her when I was 27 and guess what? I married her at 33 After 6years of courtship and 18years down the line we are still waxing stronger.
So you no get any reason to worry but just be mature enough to cope cos she was so naughty at the beginning but I coped.
Impressive. Sounds similar to my story but mine strayed at a point but latter realized her mistakes.
Kobicove: The age gap is good but a 19 year old girl is not yet ripe for marriage in my book.
Look for someone who had tasted life a bit otherwise at some point she will think you robbed her of her youth
Did he say anything about marrying her right away? and even if he does, as long as he is mature enough to cope with her idiosyncracies i think it is all good.
Petyprincess: Lol you really delusional!! You believe in this first love shit in this 21st century? No wonder you like them young nd naive!! Just give her three more years you d be surprised she will go for her age group even if he should be her first love as you call it
You sound so indecent and very naive. Yes first love is very very strong not just for the lady but for the guy and the guy or lady you first love can make or mare you cos many people dont recover from it.
in the western world they believe so much in close age gap but guess what! that is why you see many baby mamas and girls in their teenage years or early 20s are already single mothers and this is not unconnected with the fact that they dated babies like them who are still very immature to understand what commitment is. If i were you i will calm down my raging hormone and learn from a man probably old enough to be your dad.
Petyprincess: [/s] Trash!!! Will you advice your teenager sister to date a man almost at his thirty? You guys will just be giving advice that you can't give to your sisters!! Y'all like younger women because they are easy to manipulate nd exploit at the same time! What is stopping him from waiting for her for three more years by that time she will definitely know what she wants if She's truly interested in this age gap shit! A girl at that age have no mind of her own!!
Why are you yelping over my personal opinion? se o wa alright sha? One cap never fits all so stop acting like a pepper seller and make your contribution decently ok!
The funny twist is that a lady at 20 will say a man at 30 is too old but this same girl at 30 will gladly date a man of 45... Why the change of mind? If you like date a guy you are older than, as long as it works for you,fine but what i wrote is my opinion and only an unintelligent person will start getting fussy over another person's opinion. Be mature and be guided please.
obembet: Veteran Nigerian actor, Pete Edochie has said any man who kneels down to propose to a girl is an idiot.
In our contemporary world, it is common knowledge that men who ask their women to become their wives kneel down to do it. However, veteran actor, Pete Edochie, does not think any man should kneel down before any girl to propose.
In a video making the rounds online, the respected actor is seen speaking to a man behind the camera, giving his reasons why no man should propose on his knees.
"Any man who gets down on his knee to propose to a girl is not just an idiot but a bloody fool, he's a compound buffoon" the actor declared.
When the man recording the conversation asked why, Edochie explained that if a man kneels down to propose to his woman, it means that the girl has taken over the family.
She’s an Nd holder but still want to get her Bachelor degree. We met in my eglise, she liked me and we started talking.. In few days we were already close, and it felt like we met in months ago.
She really loves me, She’s has shown traits of a good girl, well behaved, intelligent and loving. She’s from a good home, her siblings look forward to seeing me on Sunday.
As I’m typing she’s on WhatsApp call with me eulogizing ourselves with our sweet names.
I really do like her a lot, infact I love her truly but but I’m scared. Pls note that I’m also a great guy, an entrepreneur, a dog lover, a. CEO etc but I’m SCARED.
I don’t want to jeopardize this relationship and sometimes I feel she’s smaller looking at the age gap.
What do you guys think?
Modify your title to "A 19year old girl is in love with me"
Please understand that if you are her first love, she may remain with you for life but be prepared to see her stray cos most ladies who never see outside will just want to explore but their heart will always gravitate towards the one she truly loves.
Don't you know that one the reasons young ladies cry of heartbreak is because they get involved with men too young to know what they really want?
Yes in some cases it is not about age but the truth is that age gap is a great factor.
A lady can be older than her man don't get me wrong and love is not about age but understanding and connection but nevertheless it is better for a young girl in her adult teens or early 20s to be with a man that is at least 8 or 10years older.. Why?
1. In most cases, the guy will adore her like a kid sis and will cope with her nastiness compared to a younger guy who is just about her age.
2. By the time the lady is in her mid 20s the guy is probably ready to take her home if she proves to be a good lady.
3. A 30 year old guy dating a 20 or 22year old lady will likely be stable enough financially, psychologically...to support the lady.
4. Ladies love to be pampered and they can get that easily from a guy who is quite older and not their peers that are probably still as childish as them.
5. Guys naturally get the kick when they know a girl is very younger than them and this spark will continue for a long time at least I am a testimony to this...
I can go on and on listing the benefits and guess what; the reason why ladies fall for married men easily is because married men are so mature mentally and they sure know how to take care of a woman and unfortunately ladies are wired to love a man that takes good care of them regardless of his marital status but the good thing is that girls experience same care from men who are considerably older than them.
My advise to adult teenage girls and those in their 20s is that they meticulously choose a guy who is at least 7 to 10years older or even more if they truly want to enjoy bliss.
This is my personal opinion and I think lalasticl.ala should consider this for front page so that young ladies can benefit from this no holds barr expose. .
She’s an Nd holder but still want to get her Bachelor degree. We met in my eglise, she liked me and we started talking.. In few days we were already close, and it felt like we met in months ago.
She really loves me, She’s has shown traits of a good girl, well behaved, intelligent and loving. She’s from a good home, her siblings look forward to seeing me on Sunday.
As I’m typing she’s on WhatsApp call with me eulogizing ourselves with our sweet names.
I really do like her a lot, infact I love her truly but but I’m scared. Pls note that I’m also a great guy, an entrepreneur, a dog lover, a. CEO etc but I’m SCARED.
I don’t want to jeopardize this relationship and sometimes I feel she’s smaller looking at the age gap.
What do you guys think?
Perfect age gap. Infact i tell ladies to ensure they are about at least 8years younger than their guys if they can.
Biafrareform: Good morning all, for those still awake.
I think my relationship just ended. Something we both cherish.
Well, months back my ex and I came back together. We had a bliss relationship while in our final year, but I wasn't committed at all and she knew it and left. Back then in school she kept going to my phone and of course she do see things to talk about .
After 1 year of being apart, I needed a committed relationship cos I wanted to settle down. She came to my mind and the feelings was so strong even though I tried to resist it. We finally met and resolved all issues that led to her leaving .
Is been the sweetest memory we have had so far. Everything was going fine. She is a nice and sweet girl. Our agenda is marriage and she is aware. She fits perfectly to my ideal woman. Our emotional and spiritual connection is just perfect.
Well, things take a turn when I went to her phone and saw stuff that knocked me out. What really got me mad was her dating a married man. My emotion was dead. She said the relationship is in the past. She was forced to go into it after she left school. Her mum forced her into it when she stopped caring for her and asked her to go fend for herself. Then we weren't together. She confessed to becoming someone else from who I knew when I didn't tried to bring her back. But she is not a bad as I think , she concluded .
I also saw her chat with someone where she sent a bedroom pics she took in my house. She said she is just flirting with him (they have a fling) but that I should give her time, she is going to completely cut of tiers with them.
Well, I love her was ready to stay with her. She was around again this Val and was tempted to check again and noticed she is still communicating with the married man. Infact I noticed they met lately in January. I locked up , and decided that is over. Didn't talk to her about it.
We went out for on Saturday. She is the type that hardly post on Facebook. Infact she has reduced my activities on Facebook. Her reason, our lives shouldn't be on social media. I uploaded our outing on WhatsApp. She did too, but didn't upload the one we took together. Yea, she hasn't done that b4. I was angry and voiced out what I saw in her phone. Accused her of deliberately hiding us from her contacts. She apologised and told me she isn't doing anything with the man again. Just the normal chat cos of the friendship they have had b4 . She even handed her phone to me to call him and end it if I want . I wasn't taking any of that cos I saw from her browsing history where she is been searching how to make a married man fall in love and spend on her but didn't let her know of it. She pleaded that nothing is happening between them again. Then she begged that I should stopped going to her phone that is destroying us. That if I ended up destroying this relationship, where do I want her to start.
She is back to her base and we chatted last nite and she brought up the case of me going to her phone again and I was angry with that and told her about the browsing history too.
She was completely devastated with my findings. Is lengthy right, sorry about that. This is a relationship we both cherished and I know she love me real good. Ohh, I forgot to tell you, she bought me a native dress and sent 6k to me from her 33k NYSC allawee. She is a good girl. She is nice and caring. I love this girl real good. Never loved anyone like this before.
But I don't know what has really gone wrong with her. I was determined to really make this right, but as it stand now, it seems dead to me and I am sure she also feels same too.
I should have stayed away from her phone. But guys, is not my fault, I love this girl and I am serious about it.
supercase1: I don't understand it's rare to see a naija girl with pecking boobs,when they pull their packaging bra all u will see is Olympus had fallen why is it so I don't understand
Change the title to Why do most ladies have unattractive udder?
Smartchoiiice: I barely can last 5 seconds while doing kerewa. My girlfriends have cheated, insulted and broken up with me because of this....
Please what can I do about it? It is getting real embarrassing these days.
Advise me please.... and no insults.
The first cum is not a true test of a man's ability but when you have a second erection and you don't last at least 5mins then you may start worrying.
Sometimes many ladies are not experienced in the act of love making and whilst they have a great role to play in ensuring the man has a second erection, they will rather expect the man to spring back to action without any form of pre-intimacy from them.
Youthleader22: What she had done almost 1 week now when the challenge was hot... the coordinators of nairaland really need to sit down to discuss the use of this forum... I’ve gradually been having lack of interest on this forum and have since embraced twitter. Nairaland used to be very interesting and informative but right now I don’t know what the so called moderators are doing... this forum need a real checkup. A real one.
Seems mega mods like lalasticlala is no longer moderating but someone else is using his ID to continue the job.
Michellekabod2: Glad you added it is your opinion. Things are changing,life is dynamic. Catch up with it or mourn. Ladies are wise now,we want better for ourselves. we have given our life a new purpose which is beyond marriage and bearing children . if our fore-mothers settled for mediocrity we choose not to.
Exactly. At least getting married is no longer necessary
Family › Re: How Do You Handle Moms And Their Unending WhatsApp Broadcast? by Toks2008(m): 3:47pm On Feb 23, 2020*. Modified: 2:15pm On Feb 24, 2020
. Leave jeweItz for we that haven't married