₦airaland Forum

Well, I agree a bedroom is a very special place, it's a place that if you choose can be completely cut-off from any intruders or visitors.

A lot of people hide their fetishes and desires in their bedrooms.

I think that for me a bedroom should be realistic, yes, it's important to achieve the look, especially the minimalistic look, minimising clutter, however, I think I also like homely-feeling rooms, the ones where there is a sense that 'someone lives here', I think the minimalistic look is not always realistic, especially if you have children or a lot of stuff to store.

As a design student, I am BIG on storage, and clever storage, such as under-bed drawers, fold-in, fold-out storage is perfect for me.

Most of all, a bedroom is a unqiue space and private too, though some of the pictures may not be to my taste, they are probably perfect for whoever they were tailored for .

I like the ambience of this room.
https://graphicdesignfacility.net/lifeaftermagnolia.co.uk/images/interior_design_bedroom.jpg

Topup: "Hehe, I guess David must have solved the problem, women are single because they are not attractive enough. I guess only the immature guys really do care about personality and character. (Maybe I should lower my age limit!!)"

davidylan:
That's basically silly . . .Well, you only have yourself to blame for that silliness, that's what you heavily implied. I didn't put those words in your mouth. mature men too are concerned about personality and character but the COLD HARD TRUTH is that personality and character alone cannot suffice. If you dont look good no one will come closer to understand your characterThat's not true, a lot of shallow men won't come close enough, I am not saying every man is drawn first by looks but sometimes, you are in situations other than being toasted from the street, and in a conversation with friends, maybe the one with the best personality, and not the girl fluttering her eyelashes in the corner that sustains and holds a man's attention.. You can be as holy as the pope . . . if you're not presentable you'll be single Let's not forget that some women are single by choice.. . . end of story Continues story,  Now you're switching words, from having 'looks' to being presentable. A person maybe completely presentable, but in your initial words, you implied that this person shouldn't expect men to look her way if she's not good looking too. Now, we are talking about presentability?? If you are not presentable even an employer will not look at you let alone a potential partner..

A man wants to be able to show his bride off to his friends (even if subconsciously) . . . that is the way we are made, it has nothing to do with being immature. Pride in your 'bride' can come from different means, which man will show his bride to his friends if her breasts are on display, if she can't put together an opinion, and she lacks a presence? Do guys like their friends thinking that their 'wife' is a bimbo, or bland, or empty?? Men who take pride in respectable, honest, interesting loving and caring women reap better benefits, after all looks an fade.

Can someone pls define "mature" for me? Everyone seems to be throwing that word carelessly around these days.
1.
a. Having reached full natural growth or development: a mature cell.
b. Having reached a desired or final condition; ripe: a mature cheese.
2. Of, relating to, or characteristic of full development, either mental or physical: mature for her age.
3.
a. Suitable or intended for adults: mature subject matter.
b. Composed of adults: a mature audience.
4. Worked out fully by the mind; considered: a mature plan of action.
5. Having reached the limit of its time; due: a mature bond.
6. No longer subject to great expansion or development. Used of an industry, a market, or a product.
7. Geology Having reached maximum development of form. Used of streams and landforms.

[quote author=Aloy~Emeka link=topic=321396.msg4522992#msg4522992 date=1252658525]I think you misunderstood him.[/quote]No, I understood, that was sarcasm, hence the 'hehe' (because I don't take it seriously), it isn't true, but it was what he implied.

You never did tell us - "why your voice turns people on."

I completely agree, some voices have a sexy pitch or tone, sometimes quite husky, also some men and women have a sexy laugh. For a woman, a lower pitched voice is sexier, is can give the impression, that you're speaking to a 'fully grown' woman and not a little girl, and for a man it's the same, the baritone can be sexy.

Alternatively if the pitch is too low, it can make a woman sound quite masculine, and a guy difficult to comprehend 'what did you say again.'


I have heard different voices that don't fit into that category, but when they don't it's usually because they have a sexy or intriguing accent. .

Who does this traditional marriage more to, you or your fiance, it sounds like it's very important to you, and he doesn't mind doing it in Toronto, which is probably the best idea.

It is lovely to see that you are passionate about your husband's heritage and background, hopefully he does not resent yours, and you two can bring a sort of mixture of both to the children, you might have, in order for them to be well grounded in who they are.

If there are any traditional things or statements he needs to do that comply with french tradition I would advise that he does that too, for fairness, and getting the respect right from the start of the marriage .

All the best.

P.s. your English is great. Anglais c'est Tres Bon (unlike my French)!!

Sorry Katy80, but I don't think anything you'll hear will be particularly nice. If you haven't already jeopardised your current marriage, I would say don't violate it. Sometimes people tkae others for granted, I mean what does it say about a man who is willing to meddle with an ex who is married with children. I mean how would your children feel to know that their mother never loved their dad and was a user.

I'm glad that you were honest and admitted to using your husband, but are you not willing to pay the price for that?? I mean you even bore him two children, how are you going to avoid messing up the family structure now??

This ex, even though I don't know him, I've already lost respect for a guy who is okay with meddling with a woman who is involved and with children. I mean okay, this could be an exception, your current husband may be a terrible man, and you may resent him a lot for the way he treats you and your children, that is one excuse, however, if you are merely bored, and you really don't respect your marriage, then I don't really know what to say because I guess for you to make that decision to get married to him in the first place, doesn't reassure me that you won't just decide that you want out.


You can never guarantee anything, at the cost of breaking up the family, you could be with your ex, but will things last? Will he pull through and stay true to his word, even with the kids, would he respect you, would he trust you??

You know what is just and right, but it depends on you to decide whether you want to be just and right.

pc guru:
@topup that candy movie really got me depressed.But it's nice.I love films that twist my mind

Lol, the type of films that when the end credits role, you're mind is frozen for a while. . as you try and make sense of what you've just watched and to get some sort of moral from it, but struggle. . I like films like that.

These poems are beautiful, from the first page to the last, The Seeker's poem is great and the little alphabet bit at the beginning is so cute.

May your hearts hold through all the rubbish life throws at you, and hopefully everything will pull through and you'll remember why you and your 'lover' began that journey in the first place.

Let your flames unite and burn out of control, let it tear into the darkness and be the guiding light to many others, giving hope reassuring them. With light you can really see that the grass is not greener on the other side, it is much more vivid and bright, right where you are. tp

Love, love, love!!

woodboi:
i hardly see reason to move on because i have never been static, if you want to leave me i will only try and hold you back for the feelings i have for you. but if you have make up your mind, i can only wish you best of all. she will still be my friend no matter what i can't stood low to judge her weakness and at the same time i will keep my head straight to find a better person the be the mother of my kids

Wow, is such a state achievable. You seem to have a lot of love in your heart, that's sweet. The perfect ex maybe.

And you're proud to say that you are born with it??

Not only is this un-true, but you are undoing all the hard-work that all the guys in the romance section are doing, defending the accusations, and by the way I read that Obama wasn't really looking there, that the picture was taken at an angle, I mean he knows to be on his best behaviour whenever he is on screen. .

C2H5OH:
tope, these are diluted excuses in my opinion.  you are simply not doing enough to hook the good ones, or (b) you are looking in the wrong places.

They are not excuses, the question is that "are you happy with the men in your lives." I don't currently have a specific man in my life, and I haven't stated that I am trying to 'hook' one, so I can't be specific. Why must it be 'my' problem. I'm the one who is not doing enough. In my response I stated that the 'bad' ones don't have any incentive to become better guys, they can go from girl to girl, because there is such a shortage of guys, there is not much competition, that just about any guy qualifies as a suitable boyfriend for most girls here.

(b) I'm not looking in places, I'm looking in hearts!! LOL.

davidylan:
Look lets not paper over facts . . .

1. how old are you really? Not more than 19 by my recollection so the guys around you will be that age too. Expecting an 18-20 yr old boy is responsible enough for a mature relationship is wide off the mark Okay, so basically I shouldn't really expect to be in a mature relationship between the ages of 18 - 20. Ok, got it.. Let the guys grow, give yourself time to meet mature men IN THE FUTURE. Relationship now is not by force o. Please re-read my initial response I said quote: "The men in my life, are behaving just the way anybody in their position would behave." Fair enough if you must, any 18 - 25 year old would be immature (ages I am typically exposed to) - that's your opinion. I know several who aren't - it's all by choice really, choice whether to use your age as an excuse to make careless decisions. Maturity is now a jacket, you put it on to apply for accomodation, a driving liscense, a passport, but take it off when in a relationship??

2. If you are physically attractive enough, the REAL MATURE MEN older than you will come. That is basic. So REAL MATURE MEN, are attracted to physcial beauty - ok. I understand now. (Wow if that's maturity then I guess immaturity ain't half bad).

A lot of women are (no offense intended) not attractive enough to get the mates they truly desire. Men are like animals, we go for the mates that catch our eye not the one that acts like a saint.  No offence taken, and vice versa for men.

Truth be told, an overly mature woman isnt a turn on at all . . . most men dont want another mother in their lives. Lol, overly mature?? Is there such a thing, you are either mature or not, yes some people say mature girls are boring, but we are all adults here, fair enough some of you may be older and some may be younger, but really when your girlfriend is 'spicing up' the relationship by throwing plates at you because you forgot her birthday or bleaching your clothes, then tell me you wouldn't prefer a mature woman. Maturity doesn't make a person boring in my eyes, it makes them interesting. I have met 40 something year olds who aren't mature and it isn't something to brag about.

Hehe, I guess David must have solved the problem, women are single because they are not attractive enough. I guess only the immature guys really do care about personality and character. (Maybe I should lower my age limit!!)

chic2pimp:
@ TOP UP David and C2 have both said all what there is to be said. Those are the cold hard facts.

I'm still searching for the COLD and HARD facts, but thanks for trying to point them out to me.

lion phil:
GBAM!!!

Back atcha!!

This situation is between yourself and God more than anyone else.

I think that it's up to her to tell you if the baby is yours, but you could ask.

In your post, I thought she died, but now you say she's alive and pregnant, do you think it's your baby?? If so are you convinced. If you feel that you have to tell her husband do, but never tell someone something because you are trying to shift off the conscience and guilt, and release it, because you know what, you could end up tormenting the old man who is 'old enough to be her father'.

Ask God for forgiveness and if you are truly sincere and repent, then you are already forgiven, please read your Bible, you will find all your answers there, if I told you you were going to hell, would you live your life in agony, when you could just read the answer and truth in the Bible.

(I am not claiming that you are going to hell - please re-read carefully).

You and the mother of the child need to have a thorough discussion because this involves her, and she is just as responsible as you are.

The men in my life, are behaving just the way anybody in their position would behave. There is one man for every 5 girls where I work, and so even the ones with the personalities that need work on, are not maturing, and they have no need to, some women will 'take' them just as they are.

There is no pressure to act responsibly which therefore makes me look elsewhere, which gives the impression that I think I'm too good for them, since I am not in the rat race with the other girls.

Don't get me wrong, there are still some wonderful guys, but as for the number of these guys; it's really limited.

To the poster, where do your loyalties lie. I know I could not keep quiet, hence all of her lies would make me fall out with her, which would make it easier for me to break away to tell her boyfriend.

In these situations though, you being the 'rescuer' could make the boyfriend become drawn towards you, and you two make get a really lovely relationship from this, I have seen it happen plenty of times, and even to myself.

The final decision is up to you, of course.


- HAHA I replied twice!!

bigfoot79:
It's no big deal my lady earns 3x more than i do,

You're right, we women don't gloat about it, not to our husbands, our beloved. The only ones we might gloat about it to, is our bosses (behind their backs of course) and our workmates (now if your husband is your workmate then. . . gulp.

Infact, believe it or not, a lot of women mentally and sometimes physically limit themselves because they are afraid that being such a top-earner can make it very difficult for them to have a successful marriage, the fear of having a husband who secretly resents your job and financial independence is a little daunting.

@ pc_guru, I've just finished watching that movie; "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.", and I have to say this has made it onto the list of movies that I just adore, along with "Candy" with Heath Ledger etc.

Great movie, really touching, it leaves you yearning but not quite empty . .

Thanks for sharing.

If you haven't already devoted some time to think about your ex, do so now, because pretending like he never existed could be one of the reasons why he keeps popping up, 2 years later. Secondly, there is NO timeline, depending on how you connected with the person in the relationship, you may take even longer to get over him, or much much less.

You should be attempting to direct the focus from the ex to yourself. Make yourself your centre of attention, work on your personality, interests, traits, attitude towards life and how you deal with people.

If you're trying to move on so that you can find a much better replacement, don't try and focus too much on the replacement, but making yourself attractive in many ways to the opposite sex, most of all, please yourself first, because equally there are many people involved in relationships who would love to be single and free again.

, you just need to ask, of course women are supposedly touchy about saying their ages, but these are young women, maybe a few years within your age range, but they are not aging women, so they shouldn't mind answering your question.

I don't think around those ages you can tell too accurately a woman's age because genetics have a lot to do with things, and some women develop certain traits earlier or later than others.

You can always hazard a guess, but you're better off asking.

I completely agree with the poster, it's easy to be nice, it's not easy to have a personality that draws people to you.

The best catches tend to be really confident, not cocky, and not jerks like pc_guru implies, any guy who is funny, charming and mysterious has got it all.

Women and men are humans, it's not interesting to just be polite and keep to yourself, you have to 'draw' people to you, otherwise they won't notice you. Now you can draw them to you in a positive way; by having a really interesting personality, or in a negative way; being a jerk and an egotistic person.

It's up to smart women to tell the difference.

Jerks are a turn-off, I mean even good-looking guys who walk around as if they are God's gift to women are a turn-off too!!

[quote author=i_am_model link=topic=318845.msg4521115#msg4521115 date=1252616469]girls don't really like nice guys.am an example. all i get from them is let's just be friends, so am begining to cut the friendship thing down, and of learning to tell lies now. guess i was too soft for their liking.[/quote]Or you were too focused on being nice, that you didn't really exhibit any real personality. I know several nice guys, the ones that really attract are the funny, caring, honest ones. Being nice doesn't mean you have to be bland or take the crap people give you. You have to be able to stand up for yourself.

Why bother changing the way you are naturally so that you can attract girls, you say you hate the way they 'lie' about their preference but really what guarantees that every nice guy will be liked by girls, much like people here are stating that bad guys are prefered, equally there will be some players out there who girls just can't stand.

It depends on your goals, if you're thinking about flings, or a long-term fulfilling relationship, why change the way you behave for anybody?? Wouldn't you want to attract your kind of girl, not have to put on a bad-boy pretend for the whole of the relationship??

Well unless she is arrogant about it, or you have a deep rooted issue with women earning more than men, there should be no issue.

Yes, some ignorant peopl will tease you about it, but they are the ones probably having to run after their wives to provide for them.

More money should benefit you too, remember it should go towards building your life together, believe me, being the bigger earner is not all it's cracked up to be.

TheSeeker:
Hahaha! Fortunately, I've located you before you came here.

Lol, romance board in the early morning right??

Man, I really hope this woman is fantastic. You seem like a smart guy, I hope you have judged well, and I sincerely hope that what drew you to her is still there, that she does not change, and if so, she does for the better.

Hopefully you are genuine, I get the feeling you are, and so I wish you all the best.

Nigeria is a wonderful place if you are equipped with the knowledge to deal with a place like it, wisdom, courage and a sense of humour (and some money), would help you to adjust well.

Please keep us updated, I always like to follow a success story .

I love threads like this, it really makes you think about the contributions people have made in this board, and also gets you profile hunting for the hottest pic .

Thanks to those who thought my words were beautiful.

I can't seem to compose a list tho, struggling, though I did really like Diva1's profile pic, also because I haven't seen her baiting people to her profile . .

High maintainance from what I've heard is actually a turn off, men all over the world, see it just as the name suggests, a girl you have to spend a lot of time attention, money and love to maintain. Who wants to feel like they're maintaining a girlfriend anyway, they want to feel like 'THE MAN', they also want to know that their wallets are safe.

To them a woman who feels to add a lot onto herself, sends off signals that she's not comfortable enough to stand alone, without the manicure, the designer clothes etc, all the things that can distract someone from seeing 'the truth' - be it her personality or not.

However, I know women appreciate maintainance like gorgeous makeup, great clothes, you will often hear ladies complimenting each other; "Oh my Gosh, is that the latest,  *insert designer name here*".

Men however, say that they prefer natural beauties. As far as I'm concerned, they really don't, they actually prefer the inbetween, a woman who takes care of herself, after all most men think their wives are beautiful, however, they might be the same to say "She let herself go." Well, sir, if your wife was a natural beauty wouldn't it be natural for her to be beautiful - even without having time to straighten her weave/extensions, or rush to the salon, or pluck every hair, or shave etc.

Oh yes before I forget, Stillwater; what a pair of killer legs you have there!! They are a deadly weapon

TheSeeker:
Does anyone know where topup is?

Seek and you shall find. .

I have given my bright fonts a rest, but I'm still in the romance section. Hope you're well

Hi Equipper,

I must say that you sound like such a sweet guy. I wish 'my' guy was on a forum this very same moment asking for advice to win me over.

Firstly, it helps to be successful in what you do and good looking. However, contrary to what some people might say on this forum, Nigerian girls are smarter than that, a lot of us know that a true catch doesn't always look like the typical candidate.

For your sake I hope she really likes you too and has no problem with really being serious with a non-Nigerian man.

To win her affection, I think you should stay true to yourself, what drew her to you, if it was her great personality then you must be more conscious about also being a great person to be around.

Of course you can serenade her with gifts, but you don't want her to get into the habit of thinking that because you're out of sight the only way she'll remember you is through your gifts. Have faith in yourself.

I wonder wherher you are travelling to Lagos just to see her, if you are, it is very important not to raise your expectations too much, life is never the fairytale you expect it to be. See this as an opportunity to experience her true self, herself at home.

Don't spend too much on wooing her, because associating your love with your money can lead the romance down the wrong route.

I really hope that she is at least a sincere girl and that she is worth all this wohala (trouble).

All the best and keep us updated .

You can't make a guy fall in love with you, you can make a guy sway towards you, but ultimately it's his decision to commit to you and put you as his only and forget about the other women.

If you want to make a guy sway and increase the chances of him falling in love with you, you can't seem like that's your goal, you can't seem desperate or throw yourself at him, your goal is to give him the space and freedom to feel like he chose you, as guys always like to feel like the predator. How you go about doing that is up to you, I believe if you make yourself reliable and trustworthy that's also a good step because many men find it hard to trust women and are very sceptical.

Most of all, you must realise you can't always have what you want especially if it's not what you need, you need to really think through whether this guy is worth all the commotion, after all love might be a game, so there MAY BE LOSERS.

For all you know he's not worth your time, you're not compatible or that his true colours show and they don't agree with yours.

Anyways, trial and error. .

Please document your results.

I think deep down inside, you didn't need your brother to tell you going ahead with such an act is wrong and immoral, but it's obvious that you're also sexually frustrated as you're asking for a booty call in the same topic.

Whatever you do, don't encourage this woman. Pretend she has done something awful to offend you. I would avoid speaking to her, she'll sneak thoughts of an affair into your head, she obviously doesn't care for her husband.

I am a firm believer in sleeping in the bed you made, especially when it brings no harm to you, after all why did she get married in the first place!?!

You should avoid her because she only spells bad news as long as she keeps insinuating that you and her 'get together'.

Staying with one partner, doesn't necessary mean that you are free from STDs/STIs, you get whatever that partner gets/has if you have unprotected sex. Secondly, you can't be sure that the other partner is only having sex with you, at which you might think you're sex is safe, but in reality you are sleeping with all the other men and women that person has slept with, because their STDs/STIs will be transfered from them to you through your partner.

If both peopel are free from STDs/STIs and both are loyal then that is the only way to prevent their transfer, as for having no worries, that's also not completely true.

A lot of people have problems within their relationship, sexual and non-sexual.

iice:
[color=#9900ff]
Decent girls don't go to clubs. They stay home [/color]

'They stay at home' is so vague. Women could be staying at home having sex with their lovers, or having an affair, or planning to murder their next door neighbour, but as long as they aren't those indecent girls in the clubs lol.

I guess there are some good tips in the this post.

Too many people believe in the scenes we see in Hollywood, where you just grab the neck of your lover, spin them around and lay a BIG one on them.

Unfortunately, sometimes signals aren't so obvious and can be misread.

I believe slowly is the best way. Touching the cheek is one of the most obvious ways of checking the woman's reaction, if the woman doesn't want to kiss but is fond of your touch on her cheek, then maybe she's the type who is very focused on her beliefs, she might want you, but she has decided that she doesn't need you.

That will also be a woman with great self-control.

If you are dating the person, then you can afford to get up close, stroke her face, or lean in to 'smell her perfume', and if the body language isn't so defensive, and is more welcoming, who knows, she might take the lean in to sniff as a lean in to kiss, and next time you can go in for the kill.

LOL!! I've just noticed the "GUYS ALONE!" part of the title. .

SO you honestly believe getting her pregnant will tie her to you? Have you met the 21st century woman, we are smarter than that, honestly, why would you want to trap someone anyways. There are those who genuinely really cherish their relationships and they'll work hard to maintain them despite the distance.

You just need pure honesty.

Part of me wishes she reads this topic and becomes alert, pregnancy really isn't a joke.