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 Romance › Re: Dating In The Dark by topup(op): 9:47am On Aug 05, 2009 |
xqwysyte:That's what you think!! A few guys mentioned that after feeling the frame of their chosen girl in the dark, that they weren't sure whether they wanted to even meet her or continue things, this is before seeing her. Another guy said his match's personality was truly amazing, but when he saw her in person, he couldn't help but say "She doesn't stand out" and then continued to comment on her 'bad' skin. American tv is very dramatic and unlike other cultures American's seem more honest on television and blunt if anything, especially on the dating shows. hollandis: C2H5OH:You've both watched it?? |
| Romance › Re: The One That Got Away! by topup(op): 9:43am On Aug 05, 2009 |
DaudaAbu:This isn't a personal attack, so you may have thought that any girl you didn't sleep with 'wasn't worth the chase' but I'm actually asking about guys who say or believe the above quote: "But there was this one girl who never gave in, and until this day, I respect her." If this is a bunch of lies, then I wouldn't mind what good is it for a guy to say such a line when the girl in question is not there to hear it. |
| Romance › Re: The One That Got Away! by topup(op): 9:41am On Aug 05, 2009 |
xqwysyte:Hi, and thank you for your concern and kind words, I have been warned several times to limit the amount of info I put on here so I can't spill all, because people can exploit it. I'm not going to go on and on about how many guys 'want' me now and how I am so over him, but I will say that it's completely my decision to stay single right now, here's the important bit - given the range of guys I have to choose from  . It seems to me that people are impressed by the meer *mere fact of people being in relationships, and nobody cares if it's the 'right' relationship. I mean I find myself saying "Awwww that's so cute." when I hear of friends who are dating friends, even with the knowledge that the same guy is known as a flirt, or the same girl has a bad reputation. Truth is it's not okay to just be in a relationship, that's what I did last time, I didn't put much thought into the outcome. Right now I feel really easy-going, not stressing out about anything apart from the things I should be, such as academic stuff. |
| Nairaland General › A Woman's Worst Fear: by topup(op): 8:51am On Aug 05, 2009 |
What is a woman's worst fear, is it loneliness, is it aging, is it rape, is it an unhappy marriage, is it divorce, is it barreness, is it being poor, what do you think? Ladies I'm interested in your opinions, and guys can chip in too, and speculate, though obviously you can't vote. You may think that some of these options are silly, but who knows, they are worth putting in, because what we may think is shallow or unrealistic may be a real issue for someone else. I hope I've covered most worries. 1 Like |
| Romance › The One That Got Away! by topup(op): 8:47am On Aug 05, 2009 |
Hi, Just wondering, I have heard this time and time again, and I need answers, who better to ask than the wonderful and beautiful audience of Nairaland. (Yes I'm in a good mood  )People have told me, especially guys that when they were players that they would try and bed as many girls as possible, virgins, non-virgins the lot of them, telling them lies, getting emotional with them, whatever they thought would get the deed done. "But there was this one girl who never gave in, and until this day, I respect her." That last sentence in the story I have heard it at least 3 times now from different people, and I'm just wondering is this a common truth? Players remember 'the one that got away'. Go!! |
| Culture › Re: Do African's Love Asian People? by topup: 8:39am On Aug 05, 2009 |
I being a modern African woman love Asians, I used to be really in love with Indian and Japanese culture, and I'm still very fond of them. I'm sure the majority of Nigerians couldn't care less. We have respect for asians, but relatively, we hold ourselves high above most other traditions and cultures. I know many Africans respect any culture which is traditional and there are a lot of similiarities between the Asian traditional mentality and African traditional mentality i.e. they are not very westernized like the American and British cultures (and even parts of Europe). I have lots of Asian friends and I am thrilled that I live in a society that allowed me to meet and interact with them. |
| Romance › Re: Dating In The Dark by topup(op): 8:33am On Aug 05, 2009 |
C2H5OH:I thought you were trying to be smart. . As for the show I wouldn't be sharing it if I didn't think it was interesting, but ultimately it's up to you, how you want to spend those 40 minutes (episode length) of your life. |
| Romance › Re: Dating In The Dark by topup(op): 7:42am On Aug 05, 2009 |
C2H5OH:Just re-read your first post and you'll understand. |
| Romance › Re: Dating In The Dark by topup(op): 6:50am On Aug 05, 2009 |
C2H5OH:What proposal? Am I missing something?? |
| Romance › Dating In The Dark by topup(op): 6:45am On Aug 05, 2009 |
Fantastic concept!! ABC has unleashed a new 'reality'-tv series called "Dating in the Dark". . "Dating in the Dark is a unique alternative series that asks the age-old question, "Is Love Blind?" Each week, three single men and three single women, all looking for love, will move into a house together, but be totally sequestered from the opposite sex. While they will have no chance of seeing each other in the light, they will have the opportunity to date in a completely dark room. Looks will be taken out of the equation as the men and women get to know each other and form bonds in total darkness. After several days of dating in the darkroom, the participants will select the one member of the opposite sex that they want to see revealed in the light. For the first time, the participants will see whom they've been dating, wooing, kissing, snuggling with and forming bonds with. And after they see each other in the light for the first time, they have to make the difficult decision, do they stay with the person they fell for in the dark, or leave them behind?" Episode 1 here!! http://www.megavideo.com/?v=6D48KMYG |
| Romance › Re: "In Love" But Unfaithful by topup: 5:02am On Aug 05, 2009 |
Jamesbona: I don't know what to say, I don't want to derail this thread either, but I would be glad to advise you (or stick my nose into your life ).I don't want to share my private information openly either but I do have a blog, click here: http://twobeautifulminds..com check it out, you should find what you need there. |
| Romance › Re: Please Write An Open Letter To Your Ex by topup: 4:49am On Aug 05, 2009 |
Wow, the letter by Bridget007, that's very emotional but very controlled and not psycho or crazy. All the best in life for you Bridget007. |
| Romance › Re: What A True Boyfriend Should Do… by topup: 4:45am On Aug 05, 2009 |
debest1:Lol, about the comment, but isn't do me I do you, you take your pride and dignity and leave if you've had enough, two wrongs shouldn't even come into the question. You should just know what you can tolerate and leave. |
| Romance › Re: She regrets losing her Virginity ... by topup: 4:44am On Aug 05, 2009 |
She has to find some way to get away from that guy, she should try and avoid 'mutual' friends unless they have proven their loyalty to her. Also, she should not compare herself to others, because that's what we do to get better. I can guarantee you if she reaches a place where she can talk to God and open up about it, she will stop thinking she is a bad person and a slut, and she will accept the fact that it was a mistake she made and that she is just human, accepting this obvious fact is difficult for many Christians but it is not accepting this fact that places a barrier between them and God. When they slip up and sin, which is bound to happen, they feel guilty and feel unworthy and emotionally distance themselves from God. Everyone messes up, but instead of pointing at others to make ourselves feel better we should try to be confident in ourselves, without having to put others down. She needs time to move on about it, what the ex did was pathetic and very immature he will regret that in future. |
| Properties › Re: Any Architects In The House? by topup(op): 2:06am On Aug 05, 2009 |
mahal:Thanks, I've gotten in contact with them too, they have some interesting and useful publications. |
| Travel › Living In Nigeria For A Year. by topup(op): 4:22am On Aug 04, 2009 |
Hi, I'm considering doing a work placement in Lagos next year (2010) and I was wondering about accomodation. Since I haven't lived in Lagos ever in my life, I'm not up to date. I've lived in Ife, and stayed in Abeokuta but Ife and Abeokuta are nothing compared to Lagos. I'm a 20 year old Nigerian female, I understand Yoruba fully, and speak it competently, and I am wondering if you could all share some advice on how to go about living in Lagos for a year. Which areas are advisable, which areas aren't, any tips. Since I am also planning to work in Lagos, I was wondering how to secure a driver, whether one is necessary in fact. Will my employer arrange such things, I have heard of people saying their employer have drivers. I know for a fact I won't be driving around. Also, the industry I am going into is male-dominated (Architectural firm). As for family I have family in Lagos, but upon asking my mother she told me they live in the 'rough' area of Lagos, she suggested a family friend instead. For the past 3 years I have been holidaying in Nigeria every summer, so I am used to the culture. That is not a problem for me, I am just worried about safety and accomodation, especially as I don't have any close relatives living somewhere close to where I intend to work. How about renting a room in a hotel with security (is that too expensive?). Would I need a guide, or friend, does it matter if they're male or female. Advise please. Thanks in advance. |
| Properties › Re: Any Architects In The House? by topup(op): 8:38pm On Aug 03, 2009 |
Lastly I was reading a book called; "Why Buildings Stand Up" by Mario Salvadori and I found this part interesting: " A good architect today must be a generalist, well versed in space distribution, construction techniques, and electrical and mechanical systems, but also knowledgeable in financing, real estate, human behaviour, and social conduct. In addition, he is an artist, entitled to the expression of his aesthetic tenets. He must know about so many specialities that he is sometimes said to know nothing about everything." The book went on to explain how engineers are "by training and mental make-up a pragmatist." "He is an expert in certain specific aspects of engineering and in those aspects only. There are today not only structural engineers, but structural engineers who specialize only in concrete design or only in the design of concrete domes or even in the design of concrete domes of one particular shape. No wonder the engineer is said to be a man who knows everything about nothing." |
| Romance › Re: "In Love" But Unfaithful by topup: 7:25pm On Aug 03, 2009 |
'eyonigger' - Though I don't know you personally, I still can'y help but feel disappointed that you put yourself in this position, I thought you knew better, I know we're all human, but you know what cheating means, no matter what 'type' right?? Now you're looking for like-minds for comfort, that's what you're doing. These same people will try and convince you that these things are normal and expected. I think the bad feelings you have should prove that what you've done is not good. That bad feeling is what's left of your conscience. I don't believe you love your girlfriend as much as you claim, I mean if she cheated on you and blamed it on your absence, how would you feel, would you feel loved? I'm sure you wouldn't tolerate it, you know deep down how serious the devastation of cheating is to a relationship. When you cheat, your mind becomes cloudy, thinking it's a normal part of life is the first step, then you might begin to neglect your current relationship further, feelings of guilt will affect the way you behave in your relationship. This means the chances of your girlfriend feeling neglected, being tempted herself by another guy showing more interest and wanting to end the relationship from lack of attention increases. Before you know it, the cat's out of the bag, she finds out, she can't trust you, she leaves OR she finds out forgives you but the relationship is never the same, and you might as well separate and move on. Well said by 'otele'. |
| Properties › Re: Any Architects In The House? by topup(op): 5:34pm On Aug 03, 2009 |
Fredique:Hi, and thanks for the info. it's really helpful. I'll try and get in contact. Mahal, thanks for the websites, I'll try and send my CV to all of them. |
| Properties › Re: Any Architects In The House? by topup(op): 6:46am On Aug 03, 2009 |
We are not forgotten, we are not insignificant, a small call for responses to this topic has led to over 140 replies and over 2390 of interest. Architecture is significant and will forever be significant I believe. I re-iterate from the original post: "I'm looking for advice, comments, testimonies, stories ANYTHING about the world of Architecture that exists in Nigeria. So, what are your experiences, even if you're not an Architect, but have required one, or considered using one, or you know one, just leave a line. I'm doing some research about this, looking specifically at the demand for Architects, the influence of Architects on exisiting buildings, and if need be, please relate it to engineering, though I would prefer to discuss arcchitecture." I believe that there will always be a silent demand for architects, maybe not actively, but passively through the experience of badly designed buildings and that feeling you get when you know 'there has to be better than this.' Lastly I was reading a book called; "Why Buildings Stand Up" by Mario Salvadori and I found this part interesting: " A good architect today must be a generalist, well versed in space distribution, construction techniques, and electrical and mechanical systems, but also knowledgeable in financing, real estate, human behaviour, and social conduct. In addition, he is an artist, entitled to the expression of his aesthetic tenets. He must know about so many specialities that he is sometimes said to know nothing about everything." The book went on to explain how engineers are "by training and mental make-up a pragmatist." "He is an expert in certain specific aspects of engineering and in those aspects only. There are today not only structural engineers, but structural engineers who specialize only in concrete design or only in the design of concrete domes or even in the design of concrete domes of one particular shape. No wonder the engineer is said to be a man who knows everything about nothing." "The personalities of these two are bound to clash. Lucky is the client whose architect understands structure and whose structural engineer appreciates the aesthetics of architecture." I completely agree with this. |
| Properties › Re: Any Architects In The House? by topup(op): 6:09am On Aug 03, 2009 |
Truly Opal: I'm sure that's a concern for most of the people visiting this topic. Update: I am considering doing my year out placement in Lagos for the year 2010-2011. I have no idea how to go about it, especially as I am based in the UK and I have no relatives who are architects, so I would have to rely purely on contacting strangers, and since there are concerns about the struggle of the Nigerian Architect, I am really praying for positive responses. Who knows I might not get a placement in a good firm in Lagos next year, who knows I might. But I have only a bit of time to get everything sorted, approvals, papers and the sort. Also, have any of the members of this forum got any great links or blogs they could link to, I'm working on a blog (which I'm not trying to promote through this topic so I will not link unless requested). The blog will contain lots of examples of contemporary Nigerian Architecture, over time I hope to refine it to consist of works by Nigerian Architects only and less of the modern and universal styles but more of styles with authentic Nigerian flavour .As for the debate about the relevance of architects in Nigeria, continue I'm enjoying some really valid points brought forward by posters. |
| Romance › Re: My Boyfriend's Friend Is After Me by topup: 2:27pm On Aug 02, 2009 |
Pranks and tricks can backfire, who knows that as soon as you pretend to agree to have sex with him, that's when the best friend will go and tell his friend that his girlfriend was no good. I think honesty is the key, if your boyfriend dumps you, you will always know you did the right thing, and he will be indebted to you. Sooner or later the signs will probably start adding up, your boyfriend will admit that he has been in denial about his friends sneaky ways. However, if things go the other way and it is a test (which it could well be, with the amount of praise your boyfriend gives his friend), then you would look bad if you don't tell him. I know you're scared of confrontation and scared in case your boyfriend does something harmful to his friend, so maybe you can make excuses to be out of the house when the friend is staying over, you can also call or answer a phone call from the friend and put it on loudspeaker in your boyfriend's presence. hackingisfun:That is the same excuse rapists and sex offenders use!! Next thing you know it, "maybe you looked too good." "maybe you smelled too good." "maybe you were being too nice." RUBISH!! |
| Romance › Re: Pls Help I'm Dying Slowly. by topup: 1:46pm On Aug 02, 2009 |
This reply is a good few months late :I've edited my response because I read all the posts and funmi you seem to be making such good progress .Keep coming on Nairaland, some of the stories on here will cheer you up, either by cracking you up with laughter, or you'll realise that you're certainly not alone. I think it is always possible to move on in life, yes 6 years is a really long time but you'll get over it, trust me, put your heart and soul into recovery and it will pay off. With romance I've noticed the biggest devastation to people, and what most people find difficult to get over is something that was out of their control. There are other topics on Nairaland about AS AS relationships that have failed to further prove the effects of it. We cannot say for sure that without this dilema your relationship would have lasted forever, who knows maybe there could have been some issues so you can never predict the future, don't put all your frustration on this, it's something that could not be helped. If there's anything to be frustrated about, maybe it should be the fact that you're finding finding excuses to tell him so you won't have to see him more and more difficult or that you're not satisfied in your current relationship with the other boyfriend. I really believe that if you start again, explain to the boyfriend you're cheating on the whole ordeal and maybe start again. I would also advisie that you remain single, learn to love yourself 100% so that you no longer need anyone else to complete you again. I'm not saying become cold, but we have to love people whole heartedly, but be able to love ourselves also, so we never consider taking our lives or believe that we are nothing without them. You are wonderful and someone else and someone else and someone else will always see that. Since you already managed to get a boyfriend, you will have no problem getting another, you just need to put more thought into the type of relationship you want, whether it be a friendship/companionship or more. Bye for now. . . |
| Romance › Re: Im A American Girl With A Igbo Man by topup: 1:34pm On Aug 02, 2009 |
I would also be worried if I was planning on getting married to a person whose family I was never allowed to meet. I mean you're right for being slighyl suspicious, I mean he's probably met your family or at leats they know about him. I would insist on meeting his parents, unless his family is completely out of the picture (he doesn't relate with them), then you deserve to meet them, because there is no such thing as a 'wife on the side'. Are you sure that this is the man you want to marry and whether he's a sincere and trustworthy guy? Just make sure you find the answers to your doubt before you proceed or your doubts will worsen when things get more serious. All the best to you, just remember your worth. |
| Romance › Re: How To Get A Good Girl: by topup: 1:01pm On Aug 02, 2009 |
I agree with what pchima's just said, don't become too desperate to find a girl because once desperation takes over your sense of judgment may become impaired. All a girl has to do is to exhibit those qualities that you think you're looking for and then you'll become hooked. Now what's wrong with that?? Well, exhibting those qualities is not enough these days, she has to possess them, some girls are thinking exactly what you're thinking and are looking for a guy quick, so they can mask their real traits in an attempt to get you hooked. All I'm saying is that just be cautious. Any guy who is caught in a mess of women trouble will tell you that you have the advantage being single and with no negative history of exs, so use that wisely, don't go getting yourself into a mess because you really want to join the 'league'. The right girl for your personality should ideally be drawn to you naturally, or you drawn to her, you really shouldn't need to come on here asking us for advice on where to find her. If you don't think your friendship circle will allow you to meet sucha girl, then broaden it, take up more activities and who knows what might happen. Good luck. |
| Romance › Re: Torn Between My Ex-Girlfriend and Her Best Friend by topup: 12:01am On Aug 02, 2009 |
It depends on which you're willing to gamble because you most certainly[b] cannot have both.[/b] So you need to choose if your curiousity and connection with your ex's friend is deep enough to WANT to gamble losing your ex then you can cut ties with your ex and move on with the friend. If you know you're bound to judge the ex's friend a lot on what she looks like, and that there's a chance you might lose attraction for her if she's not drop dead gorgeous then, I can almost tell you that and that's definitely worth considering. I get the impression that you're not too sure about your ex coming back, and maybe her friend is just highlighting this uncertainty and it's better knowing this now before you make any move to try and restart anything that might not last. I doubt the poster has since returned to check on responses. |
| Romance › Re: Love And Religion by topup: 11:57pm On Aug 01, 2009 |
If you don't wanna convert, and you believe that your religion matters a lot to you, you shouldn't be with him, there is no changing some people and certainly when their intentions clearly show that they're expecting you to change. |
| Romance › Re: A Girl Of My Dream by topup: 5:03am On Aug 01, 2009 |
I don't get it, is this common asthma that can be monitored and treated with an inhaler? |
| Romance › Re: My Girlfriend's A Virgin(she Wants Us To Wait Till Our Wedding Night): by topup: 3:21am On Aug 01, 2009 |
You love her enough to put her wishes before your own, and remember that you'll get it when you're married. If you know you're going to end up cheating or pressuring her then yes like the person above suggested maybe let her go, but to be honest, no smart girl will be happy knowing that you wanted sex more than you wanted to be with her, so if you did think you'd return you might be shocked that she's replaced you with a guy who loves her enough to wait and not pressure her. 1 Like |
| Politics › Re: Alleged World Bank Document Names Top Nigerians And Their Loot In Foreign Banks by topup: 1:24am On Jul 31, 2009 |
What is being done to investigate this. It's really embarrasing to have to name and shame those who should be protecting the country. Any other country would investigate deeply into the claims and rectify them, and do some publicity 'stunts', to show how these peopel are dealt with (imprisonment) and to show that the money is going to the purpose it was originally supposed to be for. |
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